Oh, those internet nerds.  Always with the creativity.

So these aren’t on Instagram, but they are over a month “late” on the blog world when everyone has totally forgotten that the Easter Bunny hopped down the bunny trail.

We did our usual trek down South to my future sister-in-law’s farm.  Hard to believe that the little lambs we saw last year are now grown sheep!

Harrison was much more interested in the old metal slide tucked behind the chicken coops.  It’s blurry, but this might be my favorite shot of Harry & Doug.

A rare picture of the three of us.

Where we’re all looking at the camera.

sort of.

Geez, people.  CAN’T OUR MOM BRAINS GET JUST ONE WEEK OFF?!  First the hot chick on TIME breastfeeding her kid, now this.  I feel like I’m about 2.5 seconds away from imploding from the sheer exhaustion of swirling around the media’s porcelian bowl.  On the other hand, this topic totally sparks my interest because we’re in that stage right now where we’re molding our little family, deciding what works for us.

I love Doug & Harrison in unique ways to what they bring to my life.  I love them for the different people that they are.  I love Doug for the strong partner he is & that’s not something Harrison can provide.  But I love Harrison for softness he gives my life & that’s not something Doug can do for me.  If there was a burning fire & I could only save one of them, I’d stand & sob that I couldn’t choose until Doug told me that he wants me to save Harry.

I’d do that because I know that’s what Doug would want, what I would want if it was Doug having to choose, but I wouldn’t be okay with it.

On the other hand, I put Doug first in our family & I hope that Harrison understands & respects that.

When Doug walks in the door, my goal is to greet him.  When Doug needs to talk, I give Harrison an independent activity.  If I’m serving up dinner, I serve Doug’s plate first.  (Doug does the same for me.)  I don’t always do it perfectly & I get distracted & sometimes Harrison is sick & demands my full attention.  Little spurts of life happen, but I try to focus on the bigger picture of our relationships.

I remember as a little girl watching my parents do the same & it never filled me with resentment, but rather a peace knowing that no matter what happened, my parents would be there together.  Their solid marriage was a comfort & coming home was a comfort.

For me, putting our marriage before children says “Hey babe, I know this is rough but I’m on your side.”  Parenting is work. Marriage is work, hard work.  So in the hustle & bustle of coming years, from more babies to new houses & soccer practices, I remind myself that it will all fade soon.  My babies will grow & take on their own life adventures & their own families; once again, it will just be me & Doug.

I don’t want to wonder in 20 years who I’m married to & whether he only liked me because I was the mother of his children.  I don’t want to wish back these years of babies & cling to the past.

I want to look at him & say, “Holy cow.  Look at this life we built together.”

I wonder if it will be his first memory.

I wonder if his first memory has already happened & I pray it’s something wonderful.

Like mine, a Christmas morning when I’m 2 1/2 & in my grandmother’s house with the wood paneling on the living room walls.  When I close my eyes, I still see everything at eye level even though I’ve been in that house since with it’s new owners & painted walls.

We thought we’d give him a “task,” so he’s walking Tuck.

Don’t worry, I have a firm hold on her leash at the base.

But he was very proud of himself & it gave him an excellent distraction
from attempting to bomb dive off the couch.

These people wish there were no open container laws.

Hope you had a wonderful weekend.

xoxo.

]]> http://theheirtoblair.com/2012/05/20/listening-to-music-writing-on-a-sunday-evening/feed/ 5 http://theheirtoblair.com/2012/05/18/pass-the-wine-coolers/ http://theheirtoblair.com/2012/05/18/pass-the-wine-coolers/#comments Fri, 18 May 2012 15:47:06 +0000 heirtoblair http://theheirtoblair.com/?p=9511 This week has been kind of funk-tacular for me.  I think it has to do with the four days of clouds we’ve had in a row & that really messes with my brain.

Harrison is entering this stage where he’s kind of a punk & I mean that with all the love in my heart.  But as I said before, it’s like he did lines of pixie sticks & rage.  My voice is worn from saying “Do not bite!” & “Knees or bottom!” or “Do not spit!” & then having him laugh hysterically & then do EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I ASKED.  This phase stole my obedient baby from me.  While daycare is having some incredible benefits, it’s also forcing us to realize how sheltered he was for over two years.  He’s learned to say “mine!” & unfortunately doesn’t realize yet that while it’s okay to stand up to his peers over who gets to play with the toy firetruck next, standing up to Momma & Daddy is not okay.  So when I say “Harrison, it is bathtime.  Would you like a bath or shower?” & he stands stiff & screams “NO!!!!!!!!” at me & I swear to God that I want to drown myself in a bottle of tequila.  Because that’s after he’s spit ravioli & been asked to leave the table & then kicked over his trains & chased the dog with his toy lawnmower.

The biggest problem is that my parents aren’t huge drinkers, which means they keep their Merlot in the fridge & I’ve had to drink berry wine coolers all week.

On the other hand, I’ve found that toddlers are a lot like dogs.  If they start disobeying, just take them out for a walk where they are burning that aggressive energy but being forced to obey.  I don’t put a leash on Harrison…yet.

We’re going to Carowinds tomorrow, courtesy of BlogHer, so I assume my Twitter feed will either be “THIS IS AMAZING!” or “SEVENTH CIRCLE OF HELL!” depending on Harrison’s mood tomorrow.  I’m hoping it’s the former because Doug loves theme parks & I’m really looking forward to a family day together.

These are my friends who are pretty & sarcastic.  They took me out for a beer to save me from the wine coolers.

These are just so riveting.

Except not.

So first we had the really amazing bathrooms at my former place of employment where you couldn’t see people’s feet & therefore not be able to properly detect who had the asparagus or coffee pee that morning.  Those bathrooms were all about preserving dignity.

Then there were Tall Girl Problems in Nashville.

I have to admit that with the peanut M&Ms in the breakroom & the chef-designed lunches in our cafes, not to mention the miles of running trails & on-campus gym, I was a little disappointed in the state of these bathrooms.  They’re basic & I half-way expected the toilet to do the work for me.

Here’s an overview of what we’re working with:

Unfortunately, you can see feet.  & there is space between the door & stalls so I can totally see what color pants you’re wearing or if you’re playing on your iPhone.

The toilet paper is the most fascinating, as it comes out like a tissue.  I’m guessing this is an effort to produce less waste?

Here’s to another day of me being the office weirdo that takes pictures of bathrooms.

But it sounded whiney & frankly, that pissed me off because living apart 5 nights per week isn’t ideal, but it’s far from troublesome.  Military spouses do far worse.  & having a queen-sized bed to myself isn’t so bad.

Except when I roll over at 4am to find a two-year-old staring at me like the child of the corn & there’s nobody there to hold me while I scream.  Because that totally happened the other night.

I wrote a post on Babble about how I completely freaked when I thought Harrison’s class was having a “Mother’s Day Tea” that I would have to miss due to work, but there’s a tiny piece in that article that speaks huge volumes:

THIS is the work-life balance that I fought so hard to get as a working mom – the ability to do my office job well, but have time to be the wife and momma my family deserves. 

These days, we wake up at 7am & have breakfast together.  I get Harrison dressed & out the door & I’m in my office at 9am.  I’m not frantic or exhausted or stressed because I haven’t spent an hour in the car with a screaming toddler.  I work, walk/run on my lunch break since my boss doesn’t mind me being sweaty the rest of the afternoon.  I pull into the driveway at 5:30pm.  No more bumper-to-bumper traffic with an exhuasted kiddo.  No more 6:30pm arrival times with dinner & bathtime looming.  Instead, we took a walk last night before dinner & it was lovely.

Which is why seeing “contingent” next to our house listing gives me happy tingles.

It’s like I got 3 hours back in my day.

p.s. why doesn’t doug stay with us? other than getting mail & keeping an eye on the house, he just does not sleep well at my parents house. doug sleeping well = i don’t sleep well.  us not sleeping well together = cranky.  cranky = me not a nice wife, not an efficient worker, not a patient momma.  as hard as it is to be apart, this is the best solution overall.

This fantastic lady is pretty-fying my feet & she’s all, “Do you run?”

I’m thinking, is she drunk?

I say, “Only if there’s a Krispy Kreme in front of me.”

& she’s all, “No, you have runner’s feet based on the calluses & your calves have great muscle tone.”

“I pass a lot of Krispy Kremes,” I explain.

& then Instagram was all “WHERE DID YOU GET THAT DRESS?” so I thought I’d let you in on a dirty little secret:

dress:  JC Penney’s, $45 (& that was full price!)
necklace: Banana Republic outlet
shoes: mint green pumps, J. Crew

These heels might be some of my favorites & they were a steal for $20 at a J. Crew warehouse sale back in 2010 & it was pretty Shining-worthy of me to predict how trendy mint would become.  The unfortunate part is that they are a) hella uncomfortable for long periods of time & b) likely to get stuck in the slats of a wood deck during a baby shower while I’m holding a mimosa.

Total wear-with-caution label needed.