Remember how I said I don’t do New Years Resolutions?  Yeah, I still don’t do them.  McFatty Monday isn’t a resolution – it’s a lifestyle change.  & so I’ve been thinking about other ways to change my life for the better now that I’m on this I-FEEL-AWESOME kick of life.

It all started with throw pillows.  I was entirely satisfied with my house & living room until I noticed that having a toddler has wreaked havoc on my silk throw pillows.  I mean, really, who would have thought that silk linens wouldn’t withstand apple juice & smeared Goldfish?  Products these days, sheesh.  I’m looking at my pillows & realizing that they need some new covers & then I glance around & realize that our bookcases are overflowing & I’m out of storage options.  & I’m all, “NATE, WE HAVE TO MOVE.  1600 square feet is NOT ENOUGH.”

& the moment I say that, I realize how utterly foolish it is.  We’re a family of three & one of us is only 32 inches tall.  We should be able to comfortably fit in half that size.

Our life?  It’s overflowing.  & not in the emotional vomit that is all puppies-&-rainbows.  I’m talking about STUFF.  Books we don’t read.  Clothes we don’t wear.  Glasses we don’t drink out of & toys that are somehow already missing pieces & parts.  So I grabbed some cardboard boxes & immediately went to work.

I packed up three boxes worth of books & drove them to the used book store for a store credit exchange.   I took a clock that hasn’t worked in 3 years off the wall & put it in a Goodwill box.  I stood on a chair & sifted through all of our drinking glasses & mugs.  Cookware.  Bakeware.  That clunky collinder that gets in the way?  GONE.  The three coats from college that are still hanging in the coat closet?  Church donation.   By the end of my rampage, not only did I have at least four boxes of stuff, but I also discovered that I have a garlic press!  Will wonders never cease?

& then I rolled up my sleeves & tackled the loft area.  I cleaned out my desk, organized Harrison’s toys.  Donation, trash, keep.  I did the same in Harrison’s room & then turned the madness to the Master Bedroom, where we ended up with five bags of clothes for the clothes closet.

I should be humiliated that I could give away five tall garbage bags of clothes & STILL have a full closet.  I guess I’m not properly chagrined yet because I know there is more to weed out.  (like that size 8 black dress that I will probably definitely more than likely never fit into again)

I can’t remember where I heard this gem, but I remember flipping through a blog & reading…

the key to organization is editing.

Hello, truth.  Nice to meet you in this dark alley.  Please don’t beat me up.

& thus is my goal for 2011.  To simplify.  Edit.  & by default, organize.

I’ve done my initial “sweep” of the house for the glaringly obvious, but my plan is to take the house room by room, editing & cleaning until the house feels more in order.

Granted, this still doesn’t solve the problem of needing new pillow covers.

I’m going to pick myself up, not dwell on yesterday, make a cup of tea, & tackle this rainy day by cleaning the house & making a grocery list.

over & out.

As y’all know, I’ve hit a wall.  Not only was I not losing weight, but I was SICK of talking about losing weight.  Sick of thinking about it, wondering what I would write on Monday, & 2.5 seconds away from chucking my scale out the bathroom window.

I was just TIRED.  After 10 months of weight loss, I was tired.  & I think I’ve earned that right.

So I ditched it all.  & realized that I was much happier just taking a break for a bit.  Not obsessing over everything that I put in my mouth & the impact it might have on the scale come Monday morning.  I started chugging water like I was pregnant again – easily 100 oz per day.  (I’m thinking about putting my name on a star & taping it to the far right stall in the office bathroom.) I ate Captain Crunch for breakfast with a cup of coffee that held creamer.  I made a grocery list for meals I will actually cook (woot! that means more on Best Bites!).  I pulled out the 30 Day Shred again & walked over 3 miles on Saturday for the RMH of Durham.  I took Nate lunch one day, & even had a cheeseburger myself.

& I didn’t gain.  I even lost a few ounces.  But more important?  I felt worry-free all week.  Food was nothing to me.  It didn’t cross my mind, except when I was hungry.  I ate what I wanted, didn’t eat if I wasn’t hungry.  I didn’t count calories, I didn’t say “no” if I wanted something.  & I found that I was so much more at peace.  Take that lunch I took to Nate – I swung through CookOut for him & snagged a CookOut tray with a regular burger, fries, & hushpuppies.  In the past, I would have said, “eh, if I’m going to eff it up, I might as well go big or go home, right?”  So then I’d order my own CookOut tray.  This time, I wasn’t screwing up any diet.  There was no mentality of screwing myself over.  So I ordered a small cheeseburger & shared some of Nate’s fries.  & probably saved myself 1,000 calories, all because I didn’t feel guilty about what I was eating.

Maybe that means I have an unhealthy relationship with food.  But it’s the one I’ve got & it’s the mindset I have to work with.  I’m coming to grips with that.

& this week, I’m learning that the guilt I carried around about weight & McFatty Monday was far more unhealthy than my BMI.  Worrying about what the scale would say.  Worrying that I was “blowing” my chances at weight loss by eating a bagel at a baby shower.  Feeling guilty over a glass of wine at the end of the day.  This week, I shrugged all of that off & I feel better, both inside & out.

What do you do with the “guilt” that comes with losing weight?  How do you handle it?  Or are you a super special snowflake that never feels any guilt towards food & weight?

This week, I am participating in another walk for charity on Saturday, plus working hard to control portions on the foods that I make.

With that being said, what do you eat for lunch?  What does a typical day look like?  (don’t be embaressed if it’s Wendy’s & McDonalds.  Seriously.)  Just don’t say Lean Cuisine, please.