I am the biggest nerd ever, sitting in my office & staring dreamily at the little blob on my ultrasound print-off.
and then I cried when Nate signed his email, “Love you, babe and babe.”
Houston, we have a HEARTBEAT!!!!!
18 Feb posted by
We have a heartbeat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::bursts into tears again:: It is so beautiful, so strong, & HJ is measuring right on track at 7 weeks, 3 days. Perfection in under an inch.
Nate held my hand as my ass hung off the end of the table, dildo-cam firmly in place & we held our breath as she zoomed in on the babe. And there it was — a little strobe. It took a moment for my brain to register what I saw, but I yelled, “HALLELUJAH!” and both the doctor & Nate burst out laughing. You’ll see in the picture that the yolk sac is still visible, which we thought was a twin at first — I almost had a stroke, but the doctor smiled & said there was only one. One perfect baby that is just enough. One perfect baby to begin our family & fulfill our dreams. One perfect baby to heal all the hurt we’ve been through the past few months.
I asked her to measure the heartbeat (in the 160′s) and she asked me to put my pants back on. Then Nate & I spent the next hour getting a medical history third-degree by a nurse that I assume was a private investigator in a former life. Then they took 11 vials of blood, tested me for HIV for the second time in 2 months although I promised I hadn’t spent time on a street corner, and two hours later, was shooed out the door with a wee print-off of HJ.
Glorious, wonderful, perfect morning 
In 14 hours…
18 Feb posted by
We’ll be watching a flickering heartbeat on the ultrasound monitor.
Obviously, I am refusing to think anything but positive thoughts. Although I am terrified.
I can’t lie — I am terrified. So afraid to go in & find an empty sack, or no heartbeat, or anything. My God, I’d rather have 9 in there than none. Please, please let there be a healthy babe.
First appointment
26 Jan posted by
will be in a wee bit over 3 weeks
Wherein a dildo cam shall be shoved up my lady-bits & we will see the most beautiful, amazing flicker ever known to mankind. I am so excited that I feel like I need one of those advent calendars to count down with, where you open the little doors to find a teensy piece of chocolate. Or tomato, if your name is Harpie Jr.
All is well!
3 Nov posted by
Thank you for your sweet thoughts & prayers — you have no idea how much everyone has meant to me today!
Harpie is measuring right on schedule, heart rate is 179 bpm, and s/he was even twitching around the ute, swimming like Michael Phelps We have a gold medalist on our hands!
We have a gold medalist on our hands!
I didn’t realize how completely anxious & mildly terrified I was until I saw Harpie’s sweet heartbeat, and I almost cried on the exam table despite the dildo-cam being shoved up my girly-bits. She said that there is nothing that indicates why I’ve been spotting, but that I should take it easy this week — no sex, no exercise. Stay very hydrated & off my feet as much as possible for at least a few days until whatever this is has the chance to calm down. She also eased our minds by saying that with a heartbeat this strong & being 9 weeks, that chances of miscarrying are so slim. I’m so thankful.
Nate went with me & I can tell he feels so much better, although I stole his milkshake too. Yes, I drank 2 medium chocolate milkshakes today. I eat my feelings.
