Ultrasound | Heir to Blair

Baby in the Iron Mask

6 Jun posted by heirtoblair

Look, Harrison looks like he wants to eat your soul as he moonlights as the Man in the Iron Mask. I know I should say that this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life…but to be honest, he’s just creepy-looking.

Although Nate says that I MUST stop saying that kind of thing in the ultrasound room, because Kristy Box (remember her?!) is going to think I’m 3 seconds away from pushing Harrison into the street. Look, Nate…I never said that he’s not perfect & that I don’t love this child with every fiber of my being…but I am honest enough to say that the ultrasound is creepy as eff monkeys. You can see his BRAIN. Only Hannibal Lector would find that appealing…and appetizing, with a nice chianti.

HeirtoBlair500x150 v41 Baby in the Iron Mask

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Filed Under: Ultrasound

Round 2

3 Jun posted by heirtoblair

Let’s hope Harrison cooperates today, right? We go in for a second anatomy ultrasound since the little mule wouldn’t roll over last time.

As a direct result of my birthday bingeing on food, I fear the scale. FEAR. Irrationally, of course. Because I am a) pregnant & therefore supposed to gain weight and b) the doctor side-eyed my lack of weight gain at the last appointment. Don’t worry, Doc…I have single-handedly taken care of that weight “problem” in the past 24 hours. In fact, I may have been an over-achiever & we may be having the OPPOSITE discussion today.

I’m now going to pick out the lightest article of clothing I own to try negating the Blooming Onion I shoved down my throat the other night.

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Filed Under: Fatass, Ultrasound

Ladies & gents, lock up your little girls. There's a new stud in town!

8 May posted by heirtoblair

So…here’s our son! But sorry…you’re not seeing his penis. We have a pretty decent “money shot,” but I feel all squidgy about posting it on the interwebs. Sure, he’s still in the womb but Nate & I feel that if he wants to shake his penis at the world, it needs to be when he’s drunk at a fraternity party in 19 years.

So for now, you just get to see the creepy spine shot. I’m sure my ultrasound tech thinks I am the most unloving, unsentimental mother ever because I gave a horror face as I said, “Is that the spine?! Creepy!” (I’m so mature, right?) She measured the head, pointed out the bladder, & then said, “Oh, it’s a boy!” quickly before moving onto the legs.

::cue stilted pause & stuttering:: ”WHAT?!” Nate & I both sputtered. ”Are you sure?!!”

The tech looks over with an arched eyebrow & says, “Yes, I’m sure it’s a boy! There’s the head!” as she points to his manhood. & while Nate is almost dying laughing at the slang terms thrown around the doctor’s office, I stared at the screen, failing to believe my eyes. I guess at the bottom of my heart, I truly thought HJ was a girl…so the words, “It’s a boy!” literally shocked me out of my pants (which wasn’t hard, considering they were practically rolled down to my vag). I’m sure the tech thought we were either the most unattached parents, or we suffered from gender disappointment, because both Nate & I sat quiet & unbelieving for the next 5 minutes. But it wasn’t disappointment…we were just SHOCKED. No other way to explain it. & just as Nate opened his mouth to ask her to look again, she said, “Oh, rats. He’s not flipping for me, so I’m going to have y’all come back in a few weeks so I can measure his heart.” God bless my sweet little stubborn boy! Not only do we get to see him again, but since we were so sure he was a girl, it will be nice to get a second check at 22 weeks.

Afterwards, we sat waiting for the doctor, letting the news of our little boy finally sink in. And once it sank it….you should have seen the smiles! A son!!! Nate plotted the golf clubs he would purchase for HJ by his second Christmas, while I giggled about how much a little boy loves his momma. & y’all, we cannot be happier. I cannot even imagine having a little girl now that I know my son, just like everyone promised

p.s. did i mention that he has looooooooong legs? measuring 19 weeks, 1 day while the rest of him measures a perfect 18 weeks, 3 days.

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Filed Under: Ultrasound

I have a penis inside me!!

7 May posted by heirtoblair

WE’RE HAVING A SON!!!! I’ll update more tomorrow with the story of the ultrasound, our absolute shock at the penis, & pictures of sweet HJ.

But for now, I leave you with pictures of the loot — oh, & those who bitch about the lack of cute boy clothes, YOU ARE HORRIBLE SHOPPERS. Three brands for you — Gymboree, Baby Gap, & Carters. Write those down. I had more fun today with my own mother, looking at little polos & things with lions (hey, I have to stay true to my ADPi heritage!).

My absolute favorite outfit, a little sweatsuit with a lion onesie that shows a little Daddy love: