Greetings, greetings to my anxious & lovely readers. Harpie Jr. and I are doing quite fine, minus the paw to the ute sucker-punch HJ endured this morning due to the exuberance of our pup. (don’t worry, there’s nothing she could do that the 10-foot dildo cam hasn’t already done to traumatize my child for life) Apologies for lack of updates — I wish I had an awesome excuse, but sadly, I am chalk full of lameness:

1) I was going to take a 9-week bloat shot, but then I got a nasty stomach bug on Sunday & Monday where I shat out the pipes for 2 days straight & subsequently could button my jeans all week. Truly, there was nothing for show & tell other than a flat tummy & a Blair that looked slightly green at the gills.

2) I came to update blogger on Wednesday night, only to find it was sucking donkey balls & not saving anything. FAIL.

3) I sat down last night for 30 minutes, attempting to tap out an update. Writer’s block occurred for the first time since my sophomore year term paper.

4) I’ve been very busy this week convincing the nurse at my OB’s office that the inescapable dizzyness should probably be checked out. She was a brat, but I am going in at 3pm today to pee in a cup & have her tell me I’m too fat.

So there you go. Lame ass, no?

I have been feeling MUCH better apart from this near-fainting shiz. I haven’t puked since Sunday evening & I am actually looking forward to cooking a few things this weekend — namely, baked spaghetti which is one of my all-time favorites. On the other hand, if I don’t get a hot steak on top of a very cold salad soon, I WILL CUT A BITCH. I think I am finally understanding what a craving truly is. MY GOD I JUST WANT COLD LETTUCE & HOT MEAT. TOGETHER. Like a French love affair minus the cigarette after sex. Is that too much to ask??? I think not.

I can’t think about that at work or my token cheese stick snack will be hurled through the window at dangerous speeds. I’ve been working on my protein intake & drinking 90 oz of water per day, on top of milk & juices. Camel baby is in heaven, but I am peeing like Secretariat & currently hold the office record for speed from desk chair to toilet stall.

I do think that a portion of my absence & silence is due to the fact that I am only 2 weeks away from when we lost Harpie. & these two weeks were the development that ended Harpie’s life. I am nervous. I did the math & realized that, with the exception of 37 days, I have been technically pregnant since the beginning of September 2008. I have been pregnant almost 6 out of the last 7 months, yet I’m stuck in the first trimester. Daunting. Some days I feel invincible with this pregnancy, so secure & positive that in 30 weeks, I will be holding my baby. Other days, I feel like I walk on egg shells, waiting for the other shoe to inevitibly drop. It’s a balancing act, & one that I’m not sure I handle with the utmost grace. I’m dying to put together my Bumbleride stroller, but I can’t bring myself to pull it out of the box — because what if I lose this baby?? I am getting uncomfortable in my pants & my dog hid my Bella Band, so maternity pants would be a blessing but I just can’t seem to accept the fact that I might make it out of the first trimester.

meh. I need to shake myself out of it. I did end up telling my cousin last night, so it feels good to start spreading the word of the new babe.

Hang in there, HJ…