It’s so super-easy to make & she LOVED it.

Get a vine wreath from your local craft store (they usually sell for $4.99 + 40% off coupon) & some plain wooden letters (these were $2.99 apiece).  Paint the letters in school colors using one of those $0.30 foam brushes then make the polka dots with a qtip (it took three coats of each color using basic craft paint).  Tie a coordinating ribbon to the top.  I used two different colored ribbons to really set the colors off & create more detail.  Secure the letters with hot glue or wire – I used wire that I had leftover from an old project because I thought it might hold up better in the elements.

The whole project cost roughly $12.00.

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Let me just say that I can stand in a board room or jet across the country, but I turn into a complete wuss once I step through Michaels.  All those women with glue stick burns on their fingers, willing to cut a bitch over the last vial of Martha Stewart glitter?  THEY TERRIFY ME.  Same thing with fabric stores.  Also, the strangest thing happens that once I hit the first aisle, I completely forget what I was there for.  Confidence takes a crash & burn so I stand there in the aisles, completely overwhelmed by the choices in felt.

In short:
Before Michaels:  BIG SPARKLY INSPIRATIONAL UNICORNS OF HAPPINESS!

After Michaels:  I WILL NEVER ACHIEVE ANYTHING GOOD IN MY LIFE.

yeah.

I’m standing in line with Harry in the push cart & a matronly lady turns to me.

“Is your mother’s name Karen?” she asks.

“No,” I say politely.

“You look like my friend Karen, so I figured you must be her daughter,” she explains.  I shrug.  Raleigh is a pretty decent-sized city.

“With two children, I figured you had to be her,” she persists.

Is this lady drunk?  I only have one child in the seat & I’m pretty sure the firstborn’s that were traded for Christmas Cricuts weren’t eligible for the 40% off coupon.  Like I said, I’m on a budget so if it’s not on sale, it’s not in my cart.

“You know,” she says.  ”With your boy & the one on the way.”

oh.

shit.

Awkward silence abounds.

Does this lady not know Rules of Feminism #253: Don’t ask a woman if she’s pregnant unless the fetus is 75% down the birth canal with a hand waving?

(You know how I like to jump the gun.)

I spend my free time perusing the houses available in the neighborhoods we love, calculating mortgages & downpayments, wishing that our house would sell RIGHT THIS INSTANT BECAUSE DOUG! COME LOOK AT THIS HOUSE!  & then I hop on Pinterest & decorate the entire thing in my head.

Of course, my head doesn’t have a budget in mind which is a very lovely thing when I’m pinning Anthropologie & Amy Butler fabrics.

I’m in this awful stage right now of having so many ideas & dreams for decorating, but not wanting to “waste” them on the house we are selling.  Especially since the goal is to keep our current house as sparkling clean & sparse as possible. 

Sell, house.  Sell!

This recipe is the village bicycle whore.  It gets around & everyone’s had a turn.  But it’s just so darn tasty.

The first person to introduce it to me was Jenny, who perfected it for breastfeeding perks & then was adopted by Kathleen, who changed it up a bit for convenience.  It is such a plain yet delicious statement for the cold winter mornings & can be a fantastic way to secretly squeeze in fruits & veggies if you have an insanely picky toddler or husband (or both, like me).

Ingredients
1/2 cup old-fashioned oats
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup water
1/2 banana, mashed
pinch of kosher salt
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Directions
Combine oats, mashed banana, salt, milk & water in a saucepan.
Heat on medium until bubbly, stir until it reaches desired consistency.
Stir in vanilla.

Stir in pumpkin puree, berries, raisins, nuts…whatever you wish!  (I add 1/2 can of pumpkin puree to mine when I stir in the vanilla extract.)

This refrigerates beautifully, so separate the oatmeal into serving size dishes, store in the fridge, & pull out throughout the week for a hot homemade breakfast!

add a perk:  chocolate chips!  I’m a big fan of white chocolate chips when I add pumpkin, or sometimes mixing both white & semi-sweet chips.  yum!

p.s. did I mention this makes a ton & is super-economical?

This is real-life, friends.  Please notice the drooping garland, random golf clubs, & the pizza boxes on the kitchen table where we’re using the formal dining room chairs because oh yeah, I sold our kitchen chairs & haven’t replaced them yet.  Also the Matchbox cars, strategically placed to ensure that my kid’s first real words to anyone in public will be “DAMN IT ALL TO HELL.”

& so begins the week of yuletide cheer!

Gone were any colored lights & we decorated our tree with white twinkles.  I traded out elaborate garlands that strung along the mantle & banisters for a simple, fresh-looking garland tied with cream grosgrain ribbons.  A simple vine wreath hangs on our front door, but we decided against lights in the bushes or candles in the windows.  With our home on the market for sale, we have tried to incorporate the season in a classy, simple way.

My favorite decoration is from DaySpring – the nativity candle holders.  At night, they give off the most beautiful glow.

My Willow Tree nativity, a gift over several Christmases from Doug.  (as always, it is perched on top of the bar.)

A little sass on the tree, reminding us to keep our bedroom spicy.  Also reminding us that if we’re not careful, that can lead to the gal on the far right of the picture.  Yep, she’s knocked up as a nod to 2009 when I was pregnant with Harrison.

Our Christmas countdown that hangs on the wall.  Harry is still a little too young to enjoy it, but I’m not!

A look back at 2009 & 2010…amazing how my taste has changed & grown over the years, but this year of simplicity is my favorite.

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’tis the season, my friends.  THE SEASON OF TACKY SWEATER PARTIES.

Starting in 2008 with my girlfriends from the-message-board-that-shall-not-be-named (Lord Boardamort? ::snort::), I host a Tacky Sweater/Cookie Exchange party at my house one night in December.  We call dibs on appetizers, I supply the Two Buck Chuck, & the house is lit with twinkle lights & laughter.  My sweater is pink with a fur collar, but that probably does not suprise you at this point.

The first year, it was so unseasonably warm that we threw open the windows & turned on the air conditioning.  Girls from Charlotte & Wilmington came & we uncorked numerous bottles of wine & laughed at how Pami mixed up baking powder with baking soda.  (note? the two are NOT the same)  Girls wore feather boas & for an entire year, I cleaned up green & red tinsel from Lacey & Amanda’s “belts.”

The next year brought typical December weather, so we turned on the fireplace & enjoyed feeling baby kicks inside big bellies as we dove into a homemade cake.

For year three, Harrison was our two-month-old guest of honor & he donned the ugliest velvet baby Santa suit I could dig up.  It was cooler that year, but both the fireplace & my postpartum hormones roared, so Harry & I were stripped to a tank top & onesie by 7pm.

Last year?  I am so sorry, my friends, for skipping last year.  It hurt me to do it but after such a loaded year & with my old office making so many demands at Christmas, I was in over my head.  Throughout the year, we mourned the absense of the sweater party & the 5,000 calories we all ingest that night, although it did make New Year’s resolutions a little easier to start on.

This year?  I vowed we would have a party.  Then life took over & a house went on the market & Sunday, December 4th appeared with no date set, no invitations delivered.  Until my friend texted me that we should have a wine & cookie night, just for the girls.  BOOM.  Sweater party was in action again!  This one?  It’s going to be much more low-key.  We’ll be starting a little earlier & there will probably be less craziness because we are all a wee bit older, but I cannot wait for a Girls Night Christmas celebration.

(they didnt ask me to provide a recipe, but these are so yummy & what I always make that I could not help myself!)

 Cake Chews, compliments of The Momma

Crust
1 box yellow Duncan Hines cake mix
1 stick butter (softened)
1 egg
*mix all three ingredients with wooden spoon & press into bottom of 9×13 pan (ungreased)

Topping
1 lb confectioner’s (aka powdered) sugar
8 0z cream cheese
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
*beat ingredients until creamy & pour over crust

Bake at 325 F for one hour.  They take 4-5 hours to cool completely.  Serve room temperature in small squares.

Remember to check out Duncan Hines’ website www.duncanhines.com to find some great recipes for your holiday get-together! I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective.

The Momma says we stripped it bare & while it echoes a little bit, it has been worth it for all the wonderful feedback from showings.  It shows beautifully, very pretty, on the list of favorites.  90% of our personal photos are gone, 50% of our books packed, & all nick-nacks packed safely away.  It just feels stark & now I am struggling with how to decorate for the holidays without overwhelming the home or creating too much clutter.

Doug & I have slept on a queen-size bed since we were married but lately, we are craving more space.  I say it’s his snoring, he blames my teeth-grinding, but the biggest reality is that we both like to sprawl.  Since it is about that time to replace our mattress (remember how our box spring is broken?), we made an agreement that when our home sells & we move, we will upgrade our queen to a king.  Our old bed was a MONSTER that ate the majority of our room, so for selling purposes, we decided to sell the bed prematurely.

(spot the toddler in jammies!)

It sold in less than an hour.  Now our room looks so…empty.  & let’s be honest, college-esque with the mattress on the floor.

Then I sold our kitchen table chairs.  They were never my favorite – they just came with the table that we purchased second-hand when we were engaged.  I have always wanted parsons chairs & figured this was as good a time as any, since I was already logged into Craigslist.

They also sold within an hour.  I guess we will be eating at our dining room until I can find a good deal on new chairs.

As each piece rode away in the back of a truck, I had a brief moment of panic – WAIT.  COME BACK.  THAT IS MINE.  I’ve never been overly attached to things, much to my husband & The Momma’s dismay.  I don’t hold onto birthday cards & I have zero interest in the toys saved for me in my parent’s attic.  But these pieces, bought with the little money we had almost six years ago…they feel different.  They feel like I’m letting go of the first part of adulthood, where we stood with stars in our eyes looking out to the future.

& I was pleased.  My vacuum did it’s job, did it well, but when Oreck approached me to review their new Forever Series Gold vacuum, I hopped on the chance.  Mainly because when I was vacuum shopping, there was very little reviewing or comparison.  There was a lot of “I love my Hoover!” but no explanation.  & everyone out there claimed “WE SUCK THE MOST!” but there was no real comparison as to who sucked in a good way & who just…sucked.

I was a little surprised when I unpacked my Oreck vacuum & realized it was kind of old-school looking.  & that the attachments weren’t for the upright vacuum, but for the Ultimate Handheld Vacuum Cleaner.

Remember how your momma always told you to not judge a book by it’s cover?  YEAH.  THAT.

Short & sweet?  While it’s awkward having two different vacuums where most combine the two, there is a huge difference & advantage.  Because the upright doesn’t have the extra parts, it is super-light.  It almost seems to propel itself & both Doug & I prefer it to our old vacuum.  It lies almost flat in motion to reach under beds, which means that the dog hair under the bed has finally met it’s match without me having to lift the mattress.  Because it’s lacking the bulk of the attachments, there’s space for an extra-long cord (35 ft!) so that I can make it through the entire floor level without having to switch outlets.  Also, the HEPA bag is excellent for my asthma, meaning that nothing gets kicked back into the air – it’s all trapped in the bag.

& the Ultimate Handheld?  HELLO, MY NEW LOVAH.  No more lugging a vacuum up & down stairs, balancing it on stairs while trying to find the right attachment.  I just sling it over my shoulder & hop up & down the stairs.  The attachments hook right on & the extra-long cord means that I can tackle the windows & drapes in the dining room, move up the stairs, & get the fan blades in the loft without any readjustment.

So how does it compare?

The Oreck & rhymes-with-bison are comparable suck-wise.  My floors are wonderfully clean.  The Oreck Forever Series Gold is lighter & has a longer cord, which makes it easier to pull it out for a quick clean after dinner. On the rhymes-with-bison, it is all in one package, so it is heavier & bulkier with a shorter cord.  On the other hand, the maneuverability of the Ultimate Handheld cannot be beat.  I’ve found myself gravitating towards the Oreck every time, even though I had once been so stoked to join the rhymes-with-bison club a year ago.

(I kept my mouth shut & handed Doug the Oreck to see which he likes & hands-down, he prefers the Oreck.)

So here’s the lovely part for you!  One of you will win an Oreck Forever Series Gold vacuum & the Ultimate Handheld, valued at $599.

To enter, please visit Oreck & tell me one thing you’ve learned about the Oreck Forever Series Gold vacuum.

Overachiever?  That’s okay.  I have more ways for you to enter.  Just leave a new comment for each task:
1)  Follow Oreck on Twitter
2)  Like Oreck on Facebook 

Rules:  The giveaway winner MUST reside in the 48 United States contiguous states.  Sorry, Canadians & Sarah Palin.

legality:  oreck graciously provided me with an oreck forever series golf vacuum & ultimate handheld vacuum at no cost to me.  i was not compensated for my time or opinion.  i am the sponsor of the giveaway while oreck supplies the prize.  however, i am so in love with the product & company that we have started an awesome new relationship.  boom!

I have this love affair with that short transition from fall to winter where the leaves are on the ground & the temperature wavers, but on nights like tonight, it dips low enough for me to wedge toes under my husband’s legs.

Whore Pie
aka chicken pot pie, named for how cheap & easy it is.

1 box Pillsbury refrigerated pie crusts
2 cans Campbell’s Cream of Potato soup
2 cans chicken breast (or the equivalent in boiled & diced chicken)
frozen carrots, peas, carrots (toss in however many you like) 

Line your pie pan with one pie crust.  Mix soup, chicken, & veggies in a bowl.  Toss this mixture on top of the pie crust.  Place the second pie crust on top & press edges.  Make like a serial killer & stab a few holes in the top of the crust.  Pop in the oven for 30-45 minutes at 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

yeah, it’s salty.  no, it’s not organic. but it is damn tasty & super-easy for those nights where everything goes bonkers.

if you want a legit chicken pot pie, this is my absolute favorite.  i like it when mrs. lusher fills up my freezer.