Pouring out some champagne for my homies that still need offers.

contingent 300x300 Pouring out some champagne for my homies that still need offers.50 showings, 6 months, 10 days before our listing expired…& we got an offer.

A contingent offer, based on the buyers selling their current home.

So that’s kind of a damper on the OMG SQUEEEAAAA feeling that I really thought we’d have when an offer came through.  It ended up being pretty anticlimactic, actually.  I really thought I’d be spraying myself with champagne & running naked on the Quad or something like that, but I basically just sat there for five minutes & then made a cup of tea.  I think it’s the “contingency” that makes me a little nervous – the buyers have to sell their home in order to purchase ours, which is a fairly common practice.  There’s no time limit but if another person comes along during the contingency (oh yes, we still have showings) & makes an offer, the contingent folks have to pony up in 24 hours with a non-contigent offer or they could potentially lose the house.

So now we pray for a speedy sale over in Chapel Hill for our buyers.

It’s starting to hit me that the offer means we need to start making some sort of plan other than showing up at my parents house with boxes on closing day, so we’re meeting with a lender to discuss options for purchasing another house.  Since I’m a 1099-er (aka contract person) then buying a house gets a little sticky & we may be checking out apartments.

Can you keep a secret?

It’s all so crazy & up in the air, but I’m thrilled for all of this change.  I’m thrilled with the idea of a new house or even a small apartment.  I’m thrilled with moving in closer to friends & family.  It’s this entire new adventure for our little family.  I’m so not afraid of this.

oh, & if you need me…I’ll be on Pinterest.

HeirtoBlair500x150 v41 Pouring out some champagne for my homies that still need offers.

We shall part ways as old friends.

Offer.

Counter.

::twiddles thumbs::

Counter.

Counter.

::bites fingernails to the quick::

Wait….wait…wait…

Accept.

house We shall part ways as old friends.

Come on, lucky month #7.

This house selling business is for the birds.

The drunk birds with no nesting instincts that fly in circles making a bunch of racket to piss off the humans below.

You know, right before they take a massive bird-shit on a car.

house sale collage1 Come on, lucky month #7.

Six months behind us with a sign in our yard & 42 showings & glowing feedback that always begins with “beautiful home!” & ends in no offer.

Some folks said the kitchen was too small, some complained that we only have a one-car garage.  One person said they hated our driveway & I dare you to say that to someone with a straight face.

No, seriously.  Give it a go.  Walk up to a stranger & say, “I hate your driveway.”

(I blame HGTV’s House Hunters for that stupid comment.)

So we’ve decided to drop the price even though we’re 10K under what the homes in our ‘hood sell for.  That hurts to even type it, much less sign the agreement to list for less.

It’s probably because Doug mowed over St. Joe.

Or because we’re emotionally attached to our house & therefore have an over-inflated opinion of it’s worth.

Also, these potential home buyers obviously have no interest in their well-being as I will become borderline homocidal should I spend one more Saturday trying to get Harry to nap in the car because some asshole that won’t make an offer decided that 1:30-2:30pm was the best time to visit our humble abode.

p.s. while writing this, I may or may not have been moderately buzzed off bleach fumes from scrubbing the bathroom one more freakin’ time.

Refinishing the kitchen table.

I don’t do well being “stuck” where I’m waiting & waiting & not moving forward but unfortunately, that’s the name of the game in real estate.  I look at Pinterest & houses on the market & dream of picking out new dining room colors with my own home lacking curtains or personal touch.  So I decided to tackle a much-needed home project – our solid oak kitchen table.

Backstory on this table:  Doug & I purchased it (plus coffee table & side table) second-hand when we were first married.  All three pieces cost $300, plus the table came with six oak chairs.  I don’t know how long they were used before we bought them, but now they have several moves & six years of hard wear on them at the very least.  I sold the chairs last fall & purchased parsons chairs that now clashed.  Our coffee table finally laid down & died a few weeks ago, prompting me to refinish the side table.  Which made the kitchen table look even more dingy, so I took advantage of the beautiful weekend weather.

723ec24a704e11e1b9f1123138140926 7 Refinishing the kitchen table.

RAWR, baby.

I decided to tackle the base first – since I was painting it, just a basic rough-up of the surface was good enough.  I took a medium-grit sanding block to all surfaces, then sprayed with Kilz primer in a spray can.  This stuff is magic for weird claw-feet on kitchen tables.  Then I used Behr’s Lime Light paint – it took three coats, which came to an even sample-sized can (which is roughly $3.00).

table1 Refinishing the kitchen table.

Getting into the “claws” meant flipping it upside down & using a q-tip.  Seriously.  Then I did two coats of poly – first coat, then lightly sand with a extra-fine grit sanding block, wipe down, second coat.

First step to conquering the top was sanding the bad boy.  Years of playdough & not using placemats really took it’s toll, so I used a medium-grit on my power sander to strip the table back down to raw wood.  This is a messy, tedious task.  I suggest a facemask, eye wear, & a beer.

photo Refinishing the kitchen table.

After stripping it down, I took a foam brush & did the first thin coat of stain.  I let it sit for 20 minutes since I wanted a dark top (the longer it sits, the more soaks in) & then wiped off the excess.  Four hours later, I went back for the second coat & did the exact same thing.

At this point, I took it to Twitter & Instagram, who both agreed that staining was complete since any protective coat would make it a wee bit darker.  I put on three protective coats, following the instructions to lightly sand with an extra-fine block & wipe between each coat.

coats Refinishing the kitchen table.

 In hindsight, I might have gone one coat darker but the outcome is still very pretty.

table Refinishing the kitchen table.

I have a brand-new kitchen table for roughly $20.00 & a weekend’s worth of time. 

(here’s how we have fabric parsons chairs with a toddler – I made them waterproof with a washable cover.)

vertical table Refinishing the kitchen table.

How to make the mother-effing sock bun.

P1011564 How to make the mother effing sock bun.1)  Sneak into your husband/significant other’s sock drawer & steal a rogue sock.  Cut off the foot & roll the remainder into a donut shape.  Tell your husband that the dryer is guilty for the sock shortage.

2)  Make a pony tail.  Make it high & dance to Girls Just Wanna Have  Fun or Love Is A Battlefield.  Take your pick.

P1011582 How to make the mother effing sock bun.

3)  Pour a glass of wine.

wine How to make the mother effing sock bun.

4)  Spend thirty minutes attempting to roll your hair into the donut, starting at the tip of your hair & working towards your scalp.  Curse a lot.

P1011586 How to make the mother effing sock bun.

P1011592 How to make the mother effing sock bun.

5)  Take a shot of vodka.

shot How to make the mother effing sock bun.

6)  Half-drunk, finally get the bun rolled.  Secure it with bobby pins.

P1011595 How to make the mother effing sock bun.

7)  Mother-effing win.

P1011612 1024x565 How to make the mother effing sock bun.

Stealing is for losers. Copyright 2008-2012 Beth Anne Ballance