So…happy Sunday! Happy 41 weeks! Happy back ache from hell!

Nate & I skipped out to dinner last night at a local Italian restaurant for eggplant parmesan & a sans-baby date night. Yes, that’s right. I’m whipping out silly old wives tales, but it was tasty! & veggies never hurt anyone, right?
How far along? 41 weeks.
Total weight gain: 46 lbs. Holding steady, at least.
Maternity clothes? yes
Sleep: Blows.
Best moment this week: hitting those 4 days so I can stay out until January 2010. It was so worth it.
Movement: yes.
Gender: boy!
Labor Signs: 1cm, 50% effaced, lost the mucus plug. So basically, zero change.
Belly Button in or out? In. But far more shallow. & it’s pretty disgusting the junk that you find buried deep after 26 years of living.
What I miss: Alcohol. I could have used it this week.
What I am looking forward to: Meeting this kid!
Weekly Wisdom: Repeat in your head, “People are only saying this because they care & they’re excited about the baby.” Rinse. & repeat.
Milestones: ummm…overdue?

I’ve decided that Harrison is just waiting for me to bag a TLC deal where I’ll have cameras shoved up my vagina for a home birth. A la Anna Duggar. Smart kid.

Do I want to post this picture? Absolutely not. I’m exhausted of looking like I have FIVE CHINS, but you know? I’m doing it. For documentation. So that the readers won’t try to stake me on a poll & burn me for withholding. BECAUSE I AM UNSELFISH. & because the combination of my facial expression & posture screams, “Nate, just take the picture already” as I was running off to a work function. p.s. don’t my mums look AWESOME?! I’m doing a bang-up job with them this fall.

How far along? 40 weeks.
Total weight gain: 46 lbs. ::dies::
Maternity clothes? oh, indeed. But I think from this point on, I will stick to jeans & tshirts, even at work.
Sleep: I took an amazing 3-hour nap yesterday. & then slept 9 hours last night (although I woke up 4 times to pee).
Best moment this week: Feeling 100% ready for him.
Movement: yep, but slowing down. NST shows everything is perfect, though.
Gender: boy!
Labor Signs: 1cm, 50% effaced, lost the mucus plug.
Belly Button in or out? In.
What I miss: Skinny-girl sex.
What I am looking forward to: Meeting this kid!
Weekly Wisdom: Just start smiling & nodding your head to all the crazy stuff people say in that last week. Don’t try to argue with those absolutely insane Old Wives Tales. & when your male boss asks you about your progress, just ::blank stare:: at him until he realizes he’s asking you about your vagina.
Milestones: We hit our due date! Holy crap. I’m due today.

How far along? 39 weeks.
Total weight gain: 45 lbs. I was only up 25 lbs at 33 weeks. I’m going to let you do the math. & while your at it, please calculate my current water ratio in my body. I’m pretty sure it’s somewhere around 175%.
Maternity clothes? oh, indeed.
Sleep: I drug myself & my child on a nightly basis at this point with the sweet kiss of Benedryl.
Best moment this week: Date night with Nate…out for delicious cheeseburgers, then snuggling with a movie & popcorn.
Movement: He kicks the hell out of my right side.
Gender: boy!
Labor Signs: Tons of cramping & contractions. ZERO dilation, possibly 60% effaced if I’m “lucky.”
Belly Button in or out? In.
What I miss: My patience. I’m 10 seconds from losing my mind all over anyone at any given moment.
What I am looking forward to: Maternity leave!!!!
Weekly Wisdom: Have good friends that are willing to scrub your toilets for you. & make plans with your husband & girlfriends the last few weeks to keep you busy.
Milestones: I have stretchmarks on my feet. Eff me sideways.

How far along? 38 weeks.

Total weight gain: Holding steady at 37 lbs.
Maternity clothes? oh, indeed.
Sleep: I just want one night where I don’t get up 5 times to pee, or am woken up by numb hands (thank you, carpel tunnel), or end up on my back breathing funny. JUST ONE NIGHT.
Best moment this week: Baby shower #2 was amazing.
Movement: yep, but slowing down some. He sleeps more!
Gender: boy!
Labor Signs: First contractions, tons of cramping, but I’m only 50% effaced with ZERO dilation.
Belly Button in or out? In.
What I miss: Comfortably holding a pen, eating utensil, etc.
What I am looking forward to: The work shower on Wednesday!
Weekly Wisdom: If you don’t want your kid to come, make sure you keep a clean house & shaved legs — I figure he’ll only come when I’m caught unawares
Milestones: First contractions, first internal exam.

We took this week’s belly picture at the local cupcake shop when I was out with girlfriends, but managed to completely piss off a few other patrons. Look, I love my cupcakes & coffee as much (if not more) than the Average Joe, but for serious, YOU CAN SIMMER FOR TWO SECONDS while we snap a picture instead of muttering “Can’t you take that inside?” under your breath. Because if I didn’t have 5 friends holding me back, I would have asked you if you wanted to take it OUTSIDE. Yeah, that’s right. Fight Club.

How far along? 37 weeks.
Total weight gain: 37. Oh, what’s that? 6 lbs in one week? Let’s guess how much of that is fluid considering the doctor said I even have fluid IN MY ARMS. Nice. Blood pressure & urine still look great though, so no pre-eclempsia. I’m just “unfortunate,” according to the doctors.
Maternity clothes? Definitely. Plus leggings. Oh, & my shoes don’t fit anymore due to swelling.
Sleep: I’m up a lot to pee & pregnancy insomnia is kicking in to where I wake up at 4am & lay awake until 5:30, thinking about everything I have to do. Plus, I keep flipping onto my back which causes me to breathe strange, then Nate wakes up & turns me.
Best moment this week: Going out to dinner with my girlfriends for Italian & cupcakes.
Movement: Slowing down now, which is completely normal as he gets ready.
Gender: boy!
Labor Signs: I had my first contraction this week! Hello, come-to-Jesus moment regarding how far along I am.
Belly Button in or out? In, but getting mroe shallow.
What I miss: Wine at dinner with my girlfriends.
What I am looking forward to: My second shower this coming Saturday!
Weekly Wisdom: Don’t sit down on the tub of the floor & shave your legs at 37 weeks pregnant when your husband is not there. Because it will take a good 5 minutes to get back up.
Milestones: FULL TERM!!!!! & my first contraction.

Proof that I have the greatest friends ever:

I love my shirt, Em!! THANK YOU!