I Have Real-life Friends

Book or movie is like asking whether you want Mayo or Miracle Whip.

11 Dec posted by heirtoblair

One makes a nice, moist sandwich & the other is goblin baby batter, according to my friend Speed.

I agree with her.

I am absolutely a fan of books being made into movies, which may sound traitorous coming from a book nerd like myself. But I’ve always had this wild imagination & love seeing the scenes I play over in my head come to life, breathing words into the screen.

Sometimes? It is done beautifully. Like Gone With the Wind & Vivienne Leigh, who epitomizes Scarlet O’Hara down to her pinky toes. Or a few of the Harry Potter movies, where you almost stand up & yell “Expelliamus!” with him. But then, there’s the Twilight movies.

Oh, dear God, the Twilight movies. I refuse to be ashamed for my love of Edward Cullen & how I want to have R. Patz’s vampire babies, or that time I might have asked Doug to pretend to be a vampire while we were having maritals. But they are done just…horribly. Kristen Stewart kinda sucks at being awkward, which is weird because she is so innately awkward. It’s like this awkward girl trying to awkwardly pretend to be awkward & it just fails all over the place. & then there are the telepathic wherewolves, which are already a stretch when you’re devouring the books like any normal twelve-year-old girl, but to see them on screen?

Let’s just say I burst out laughing. All out, gut-busting hooted until Laura & I were burrying our faces in our handbags.

So let’s just hope that The Hunger Games appeases my wild imagination.

& once you’ve read the Hunger Games trilogy in record time, pick up Veronica Roth’s Divergent. TRUST ME ON THIS.

HeirtoBlair500x150 v41 Book or movie is like asking whether you want Mayo or Miracle Whip.

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Filed Under: All about BA, BA's a nerd, FAIL, I have real-life friends

Girls Night In: Tacky sweaters & wine & cookies, oh my!

7 Dec posted by heirtoblair

Thanks to Duncan Hines for sponsoring my writing. There’s no limit to the baking possibilities, so grab your favorite Duncan Hines mix and Comstock or Wilderness fruit fillings and Bake On! www.duncanhines.com.

’tis the season, my friends. THE SEASON OF TACKY SWEATER PARTIES.

Starting in 2008 with my girlfriends from the-message-board-that-shall-not-be-named (Lord Boardamort? ::snort::), I host a Tacky Sweater/Cookie Exchange party at my house one night in December. We call dibs on appetizers, I supply the Two Buck Chuck, & the house is lit with twinkle lights & laughter. My sweater is pink with a fur collar, but that probably does not suprise you at this point.

Picture 6 Girls Night In: Tacky sweaters & wine & cookies, oh my!

The first year, it was so unseasonably warm that we threw open the windows & turned on the air conditioning. Girls from Charlotte & Wilmington came & we uncorked numerous bottles of wine & laughed at how Pami mixed up baking powder with baking soda. (note? the two are NOT the same) Girls wore feather boas & for an entire year, I cleaned up green & red tinsel from Lacey & Amanda’s “belts.”

When life spills over & over & over.

6 Dec posted by heirtoblair

I’m having trouble writing.

Not because the thoughts aren’t there. They are there, spilling over madly because this blog is the capture of life & oh, life is being lived right now.

The up & down & GO GO GO! of life where I am sitting in conference rooms at 8:30am & shoving a sandwich in at my desk, prepping for the afternoon’s conference call. A new assignment that has me flattered & overwhelmed, determined to show the boss that yes! I can do this! The texting of insurance cards & jotting down ideas & making sure we have all the ingredients for dinner & no, Harrison, you cannot have a cookie for dinner.

The epic meltdown occurs & I’m standing there at the end of the day, shoes kicked off & button-down blouse still on & stirring boiling pasta. I look at him & close my eyes, taking deep breaths & trying out that 1-2-3 magic but on myself. He is maddeningly two & woke up this morning on a mission to test all the limits. A piece of me wants to throw up my hands in frustration, but I look back down at him & all I can do is wrap him up in my arms.

He’s here tonight. My friend Beth is not so lucky as her little boy Keegan went to Heaven today. Keegan, not three weeks older than my own little boy.

I am undone. Completely raw for the day in my stocking feet & a little boy who does not understand why his momma is hugging him instead of using the usual exasperated tones at dinnertime.

I put him in bed & pull the red & aqua cover to his chin & I think that I cannot handle Chicka Chicka Boom Boom one more time, but then I remember the momma’s who never got to read it, or who won’t get to read it. I wonder if it would be silly to ask God to maybe read Keegan Chicka Chicka Boom Boom one night, just to let him know we’re thinking of his momma’s heart? & so I pick up that board book, starting to show signs of wear after only a few months because it is loved so.

& my heart, showing signs of wear because it has loved so.

So yes, life is spilling over & I am left breathless & awkward in it’s path.

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Filed Under: Adult Club, All about BA, Fears, Finding Balance, I have real-life friends, Oh em gee, Things I didn't understand until I birthed a child, Toddlers eat your brains

Where I say thank you.

2 Dec posted by heirtoblair

From the bottom bits of my heart, THANK YOU.

Thank you for your sweet congratulations yesterday! You sure know how to make a girl blush & I’m just so sorry I haven’t been able to respond personally to everyone.

Thank you for following me over there, reading my words, & still hanging out with me here. I told the folks on Babble that my ~~readers~~ e-friends were the best & funniest & most loyal that you could ever find, & HOT DAMN, did y’all prove me right.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for sticking up for me & basically delivering the most epic troll beat-down I have seen in years. You basically rolled in the STFU Truck while I was supporting a buddy of mine’s shop opening, & I appreciate you stepping in my absence.

(Also? Thank you for keeping it classy & letting her look like the fool.)

As you may have seen on the Twitters, I discovered that the hurtful words were coming from a woman I previously thought as a friend. I suppose I could spin it into a TRUST NOBODY! conspiracy theory about meeting friends on the interwebs, but the truth of it all is that no matter what parenting choices you make, someone will disagree. Breast versus bottle, BabyWise vs Attachment Parenting, working mom versus stay at home mom. We’ve all seen the battles but we never suspect our friends having cruel thoughts about us, always hidden behind a smile or sweet Facebook note.

So my thoughts on the whole situation boil down to friendship, not parenting – as someone’s friend, you have the responsibility of protecting their heart. Plain & simple. If you think there is an outrageous wrong happening, then by all means speak up! But do it TO THEIR FACE, with honesty out on the table. If you must hide your thoughts behind anonymity & gossip, then it is probably not worth speaking. & if you feel that negatively towards a “friend?” You disagree so strongly with them? It probably means the friendship ain’t worth it, so you cut your losses & find someone that you love unconditionally.

The good news is that in these days, most “friendships” can be desolved by defriending on Facebook. ::snort::

By the way, did I say THANK YOU enough for all the awesomeness yesterday?

Real friends dress up in cocktail dresses & fascinators, then go buy hot dogs on the streets of New York City.

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Filed Under: All about BA, Babbling on Babble, FAIL, Guzzling the Haterade, I have real-life friends, Things that aren't perfect despite my best efforts, Toddler Times, Unpopular opinions

When silence breaks.

28 Nov posted by heirtoblair

There are moments in my life when I doubt. Not fleeting moments, but long moments. Months, years, entire seasons of my life that pass with a bruised heart. Nights of tears falling & I feel my heart pleading with each beat to where I physically ache in my throat & I wonder, “Where are you, God?” Hopes & dreams go unanswered & I hear silence. I lie awake & shake an angry fist to Heaven, knowing that I am unworthy of answered prayers, but oh God, how she deserves it. Above anyone else, please answer her prayers.

The silence is deafening & I begin to resent the silence, to grow weary of it & imagine that He must grow weary of my pleas. My heart puts conditional love on an unconditional promise & I wonder, have I been wrong all along?

oh, ye of little faith.

& then news comes, the kind of wonderful news that moves mountains & shakes the soul & I hear God whisper, “See?” & after all these years, I know. I know that my prayers did not fall upon deaf ears, that I did not plead in vain, & that miracles do happen. I let the tears & thankfulness fall free.