Here are some awesome toddler beds, from the affordable to the no-freaking-way.

I think everyone should take their toddler out to dinner. (but don’t be a jackass about it)

I asked for tips on becoming a stay-at-home momma.

I talked about the importance of volunteering even in a crazy-busy life.

I showed off fifteen incredible nurseries for normal people.

The response was so awesome that I did it again.

____________________________________

My friend Amy just opened her new Etsy shop, Smitten Image, & would love to offer one of you a freebie print to her shop!  I love this fire truck but the barn animals with their “sounds” beneath them hits my funny bone in the best way possible.

Cute, right?  I KNOW.

Hope on over & let me know which print you would pick & I’ll select a winner in the comments!

I bitched about my kid not sleeping.

I bitched about our neighborhood.

I bitched about preschool.

I bitched about weekends.

Also, I don’t know if bile actually “chunks,” but I was typing furiously.

Dear Silver Fox,

For so many years, I swooned over you, applauded you, admired your journalism, & calculated the many ways to seduce you.  You are a smart hunk of fine man-meat. But I think I’m going to end this relationship and trust me, it’s you.  Not me.

Listen, this horrible battle between stay-at-home mothers and working mothers is just old and pathetic and so message-boards-circa-2009.  Nobody wins that war — we all just end up with cat scratches and hurt feelings to lick.  Then you had to sensationalize it by adding the title, “Are Stay-At-Home Moms Lazy?” and I swear, chunks of bile rose in my throat…

you can read more about why I turned down an invite to seduce Anderson in a coat closet.

Tips for travel with a toddler. (I probably should have done these before the holidays, huh?)

Tips for selling a house with a toddler.

My kid cries about stupid stuff.   Y’all helped with this one, so thank you!

Our thoughts are with the Bielanko family after a fire destroyed their home.

I figured out the secret to keep Harrison from making my eardrums bleed with his screaming.

Dictator Harry.  (a tongue-in-cheek nod to our tiny ruler)

Some tips for dealing with time outs. (don’t worry, they’re not mine)

I told y’all to go get your hair did & order expensive lattes.

I showed you my house at Christmas, but I think 90% of y’all have already seen it.

Then I talked about the baller day Harrison & I had together on Friday.  Because having a day off is the greatest part of being a working mom.

& I gave tips on how to make Christmas morning not put your kiddo on overload.

I got sick, too.  Boo.

Anyway, it said that I had been chosen as a Community Leader for Blissdom 2012.  My heart thump-thumped because when I applied, it was more on a self-dare to see if I could even cut it.  For as much as I love blogging & writing & connecting, a leader at a conference?  I think they have the wrong girl.  Then Sarah informed me that I would be working with Newcomers, the girls that are at their first Blissdom, making sure they don’t stand in the corner twisting a blue nametag in their hands awkwardly.

& then I felt okay.

I cannot tell you how to write, other than to reach down in your gut & let your fingers fly across the keyboard.

I cannot tell you how to make a company work with you, except to be original & transparent & smart.

I cannot tell you how to be inspirational & viral, other than to let yourself get messy in this internet world.

But I can give you a warm place to feel welcomed in a massive sea of unfamiliar faces.  I can probably make you laugh & I am one heck of a good bear-hugger.  I can make sure you know how the schedule flows & where I will be sitting during meals so you don’t have to sit alone.  I’m also really tall, which makes me easy to pick out in a crowd, & I secretly think this is the merit Ali Worthington may have selected me on.  “Oh, you’re a newcomer?  Find the freakishly tall girl with the accidental ombre hair.”  Yep, that’s me.

So if you’re new to Blissdom, come say hi.  Or hell, if you’re NOT new to Blissdom & just need a little mishmash tribe where everyone belongs?  I’m your girl.  Feel free to say ”hi” on Twitter & Facebook before we leave!

& I cannot wait to meet you in two months.

Thank you to the sweet, wonderful folks at Oreck for sponsoring my trip to Blissdom.  Their vacuums suck in the best way possible.

I got all ranty, hollering about food allergies.  I have one, so I totally get why peanut butter should be banned from playdates & birthday parties.  (also? I don’t get the idea that kids “suffer” because they can’t have peanut butter for one morning.  Nope, I view “suffering” as the kid who gets stabbed with an epi-pen in the back of an ambulance while his mother cries, but maybe that’s just me.  Crap, I’m ranting again.)

I can’t keep up with what Harrison likes these days.  & I’m really not looking forward to the reign of Thomas the Train.

Six things you wish you could say to your toddler.  Like, “Dude, WTF?”  Don’t lie, we’ve all been there.

Babble announced their Top 100 Mom Blogs list.  I’m so happy to see some good friends make the list.

& I think I’ve finally figured out why Harrison strikes out on naps.

Godiva chocolates from work | Little People nativity | Peppermint ice cream is pink! | my commute is murder

Yes, we.

So thank you, sweet sponsors, for hanging out with me & Chad Michael Murray this month.

 First up, the incredible folks at Oreck who keep my neatfreak dreams alive.  Check out my review, which has an awesome video & will make you wish you put the Forever Gold on your wishlist for Santa.  I am currently lusting over the Steam It.

The very lovely Mrs. Priss, aka Morgan, who is just about as darling as they come.   She’s everything I love in a good blog – funny, witty, pretty, & full of lovely things that make my day feel just a wee bit lighter.  If she’s not already in your reader, you’re missing out.  Check out her shop, too.  The Preppy Felt Bows are calling me.

The ever-talented Laura Jane Designs, who’s tiny deer logo brings me so much joy.  She has always been such a joy to work with, a testament to her professionalism that I know translates into her designs.  I love her portfolio & how she’s incorporating the ever-popular penants.  If you’re looking for excellent work at low rates, check her out for blog design on both Blogger & WordPress.  (she also works with print services!)

Bugaboo Announcements – custom birth announcements, holiday cars, personalized gifts.  I have these on tap for our next baby.  & I wish we had sent out Christmas cards this year, because this would be my top pick, or maybe even this one.

Textured Ink is a fantastic handmade shop with prints for the home.  They’re modern & fun & stylish & yes, please for my office.  Choose your own color,customize the size, & all prints are printed on the highest quality inks on heavyweight paper for a gorgeous finish.  Ankita’s running a 10% off sale with the code HOLI2011 until 12/24/2011.  When we finally sell our home, this is being ordered to remind us of our first wee house.

Hormonal Imbalances.  My heart overflows with love for Diana.  I have read every word she has typed for over the past 18 months, laughed & cried with her, hugged her neck in San Diego, & consider her a very close friend.  She writes it all out – breastfeeding, parenting, becoming a military wife, battling the idea of a second child, a struggle with anxiety & alcoholism.  She keeps it real & gut-wrenching until there’s nothing to do but love her.

 The Family Math.  An Alabama native, a working momma, a NICU & PPD survivor.  She’s a cloth diapering guru that faced difficult realities on breastfeeding, & momma to Noah.  She also runs the Thankful Series, full of grace & faith & optimism.

E Custom Cards.  Better than a Hallmark card, MUCH better than a Facebook message.  This gal is the sweetest ever – for Harrison’s second birthday, she drew the most wonderful card & popped it in the mail to me.  I have to remember to scan it & show you, because she captured my boy perfectly.  How does it work?  You contact Erin, the artist, & tell her what you envision. Basic details, what you’d like it to say, & she turns it into hand-drawn magic for you to proof before she mails it out.

Interested in sponsoring The Heir to Blair?  My prices are incredibly affordable for handmade shops & blogs & I would love to have you on board.

December 2011 ad spots are all filled, with all proceeds going to World Vision to help families in need.  Please email me at heirtoblairblog@gmail.com if you are interested in advertising in January 2012.

First, I burst onto the scene with a discussion about rigid toddler schedules.  There was a troll beatdown.

Then I introduced msyelf because I’m always a day late & a dollar short.

We took a look back over the evolution of Harrison’s nursery.

& opened a discussion on whether or not Santa was “lying” to your children.

I wrote a “bucket list” for toddlerhood.

Then Harry chimed in with a bucket list of his own & totally showed me up.  Apparently he wants to be a superhero by the time he turns four.

& then I got all bratty again talking about how much I miss sleeping in.  It’s one of those, “Trust me, homie. You’re normal” kinds of posts.

In a nutshell:

Thank you for your sweet congratulations yesterday!  You sure know how to make a girl blush & I’m just so sorry I haven’t been able to respond personally to everyone.

Thank you for following me over there, reading my words, & still hanging out with me here.  I told the folks on Babble that my readers e-friends were the best & funniest & most loyal that you could ever find, & HOT DAMN, did y’all prove me right.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for sticking up for me & basically delivering the most epic troll beat-down I have seen in years.  You basically rolled in the STFU Truck while I was supporting a buddy of mine’s shop opening, & I appreciate you stepping in my absence.

(Also?  Thank you for keeping it classy & letting her look like the fool.)

As you may have seen on the Twitters, I discovered that the hurtful words were coming from a woman I previously thought as a friend.  I suppose I could spin it into a TRUST NOBODY! conspiracy theory about meeting friends on the interwebs, but the truth of it all is that no matter what parenting choices you make, someone will disagree.  Breast versus bottle, BabyWise vs Attachment Parenting, working mom versus stay at home mom.  We’ve all seen the battles but we never suspect our friends having cruel thoughts about us, always hidden behind a smile or sweet Facebook note. 

So my thoughts on the whole situation boil down to friendship, not parenting – as someone’s friend, you have the responsibility of protecting their heart.  Plain & simple.  If you think there is an outrageous wrong happening, then by all means speak up!  But do it TO THEIR FACE, with honesty out on the table.  If you must hide your thoughts behind anonymity & gossip, then it is probably not worth speaking.  & if you feel that negatively towards a “friend?”   You disagree so strongly with them?  It probably means the friendship ain’t worth it, so you cut your losses & find someone that you love unconditionally.

The good news is that in these days, most “friendships” can be desolved by defriending on Facebook. ::snort::

By the way, did I say THANK YOU enough for all the awesomeness yesterday?

Real friends dress up in cocktail dresses & fascinators, then go buy hot dogs on the streets of New York City.