BA Is Effing Crazy | Heir to Blair

Sure, I think I can go in here.

17 May posted by heirtoblair

bathroom3 Sure, I think I can go in here. Ladies & gentlemen, welcome to another installment of PUBLIC BATHROOM TOURS!

These are just so riveting.

Except not.

So first we had the really amazing bathrooms at my former place of employment where you couldn’t see people’s feet & therefore not be able to properly detect who had the asparagus or coffee pee that morning. Those bathrooms were all about preserving dignity.

Then there were Tall Girl Problems in Nashville.

I have to admit that with the peanut M&Ms in the breakroom & the chef-designed lunches in our cafes, not to mention the miles of running trails & on-campus gym, I was a little disappointed in the state of these bathrooms. They’re basic & I half-way expected the toilet to do the work for me.

Here’s an overview of what we’re working with:

bathroom2 Sure, I think I can go in here.

Unfortunately, you can see feet. & there is space between the door & stalls so I can totally see what color pants you’re wearing or if you’re playing on your iPhone.

bathroom1 Sure, I think I can go in here.

The toilet paper is the most fascinating, as it comes out like a tissue. I’m guessing this is an effort to produce less waste?

bathroom4 Sure, I think I can go in here.

Here’s to another day of me being the office weirdo that takes pictures of bathrooms.

HeirtoBlair500x150 v41 Sure, I think I can go in here.

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Filed Under: BA is effing crazy, BA's a nerd, Life in General, Potential for Doocing, Random

Why You Should Know Who Christian Grey Is

19 Apr posted by heirtoblair

A few weeks ago, I heard this little whisper about some book called “Fifty Shades of Grey” & then saw an article calling it “mom porn” & I was all, Twitter! Should I read it? & the Twitters were like hellz yeah.

So I got my hands on a iBooks copy & settled down into Chapter 1.

An hour later, I woke up my husband for sex.

Since then I have finished all three books & perhaps coincidentally, Doug has taken to bringing me flowers & wine in the evenings.

fiftyshades Why You Should Know Who Christian Grey Is

The writing leaves a lot to be desired, there are blatant grammatical errors, & it feels a little wrong that this chick is making cash money off twisting Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight characters into literary porn stars. I felt incredibly naughty reading it & not in the naughty minx way but in the oh shit, I am so glad nobody can see me reading this. On the airplane the other day, I felt like whispering to the gal three rows in front that while everyone else on the plane thought she may have been reading a thriller mystery based on the black & white tie cover, I knew she was reading about some mealy-mouthed chick being tied to a table.

In short? OH. MY. ::fans self with tulips::

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Filed Under: BA is effing crazy, BA's a nerd, The I Do's

This was last night.

5 Apr posted by heirtoblair

I could write it out, but a picture says 1000 words & I need another cup of coffee.

p.s. I’m not an artist.
p.p.s. I had way too much fun making bedhead & “highlights” in my hair.

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Filed Under: BA is effing crazy, BA's a nerd, FAIL, Harry in General, My kid hates me, Pass the Unisom, Toddlers eat your brains

How to make the mother-effing sock bun.

22 Mar posted by heirtoblair

P1011564 How to make the mother effing sock bun. 1) Sneak into your husband/significant other’s sock drawer & steal a rogue sock. Cut off the foot & roll the remainder into a donut shape. Tell your husband that the dryer is guilty for the sock shortage.

2) Make a pony tail. Make it high & dance to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun or Love Is A Battlefield. Take your pick.

P1011582 How to make the mother effing sock bun.

3) Pour a glass of wine.

4) Spend thirty minutes attempting to roll your hair into the donut, starting at the tip of your hair & working towards your scalp. Curse a lot.

P1011592 How to make the mother effing sock bun.

5) Take a shot of vodka.

shot How to make the mother effing sock bun.

6) Half-drunk, finally get the bun rolled. Secure it with bobby pins.

P1011595 How to make the mother effing sock bun.

7) Mother-effing win.

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Filed Under: BA is effing crazy, BA's a nerd, FAIL, Life in General, Tutorials

How Working From Home With A Toddler Is Like Surviving A Zombie Apocolypse

20 Mar posted by heirtoblair

1) I dare not breathe, turn on the television, anything above a conference call whisper & key tapping….anything that gives away my direct location.

2) I lock myself in the bedroom/office & he physically attempts to beat down the door to get to me. Wails of torture from both parties ensue.

3) He uses intimidation & manipulation to prey on my weakness, all in hopes of getting me to open the door for a direct attack. This includes cries of “MOMMA!” & shoving Matchbox cars under the door.

4) Out of food & toilet paper, I must make the decision – open the door for a run to the kitchen & risk being spotted, or wither without supplies for the rest of the day?

5) Should I open the door, any moment could be the end of my ~~existance~~ workday.

zombies How Working From Home With A Toddler Is Like Surviving A Zombie Apocolypse