Heir to Blair » AF

Smelly Feet vs Baby Kicks for Weirdest Post-Pregnancy Side Effect

heirtoblair — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 21:13:36 +0000

Three words make the the Weirdest Thing Ever About Life After Birthing A Baby: phantom baby kicks.

Yeah, they’re still happening two years later.

So I’m sitting there at my desk, happily tapping away at expenses & BAM! there’s a flutter in my uterus area. It’s enough to make me take pause & freak the eff out that OH MY GOD, I’M GOING TO BE ON “I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT.”

But then I remember that I’m already doing that female thing (send nachos & wine!) & we are staunch supporters of the Trojan man & there is simply NO WAY there is a bambino kicking away in my uterus.

But still.

Totally trippy.

Good thing I cleared the laundry off the guest bed since Aunt Flo showed up this morning.

heirtoblair — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 22:25:26 +0000

Last night (or technically, this morning), I was up at 2:30 am with a crying, wide-awake, refusing-to-be-soothed Harrison. When the four o’clock hour drew near, I thought “No way could this be worse.”

But then I got awful stomach cramps. Five minutes later, I thought, “Well, nothing could be worse than a screaming baby & diarrhea at 4am.”

But then I stood up. & realized that I started my first postpartum period. My uterus, awesome as ever, gave me a two-week sabbatical from bleeding. How gracious.

Miserable, I laid a drowsy blonde boy in his crib with his Soothe n’ Glow Seahorse, praying that he’d fall asleep on his own so I could crawl miserably into bed with Nate.

Right before I fell asleep to cramps, back pain, & a pounding headache, I realized that I have only had ONE period since August 2008. & I totally forgot what a bitch they are.

heirtoblair — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 22:23:00 +0000

Three cheers for the demise of AF and the return of condomless sex!!

Because nothin’ says lovin’ like the smell of latex between the sheets ::blair curls lip in distaste::

AF IN DA HOUSE!!!

heirtoblair — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 23:54:00 +0000

Halle-effing-lujah!!!!

Woke up this morning on CD 36 to my period. Thank God there will be no hormones involved to jump start my body back into motion. Poor Nate woke up to me pouncing out of the shower & onto the bed screaming, “I GOT MY PERIOD!!” And bless his heart, he woke up bouncing up & down just as excited. Ahhh, men that love & know the process of TTC.

This is probably the first time in my life I have been excited to bleed. I mean, it’s not a normal reaction to see blood & do fancy pageant walking through your bathroom in celebration. ::arches eyebrow:: And like Nate says, “I don’t trust anything that bleeds profusely for a week & doesn’t die.” I think his is the more accurate reaction to have, no?

Now let’s see if the hen house gets the message to release an egg in a few weeks

draaaagging…

heirtoblair — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 14:48:00 +0000

Dear Uterus,
I understand that you were in pretty much in uterine ICU on vagina life support there for a few weeks. I sympathize that a traumatic event occurred, sending you into an incredible state of shock. However, I would truly appreciate it if you would get your shit together & shed some lining so we can get this show on the road.

Love & vibrators,
Blair

Do you like the 2 days where I attempted to temp? Dotted lines & one open circle = F for effort and F- for execution. Blair FAIL. My panties got all excited yesterday because of ute cramping & I thought I would get a bright red Christmas miracle, but no dice. I know it can take awhile to have a period after a miscarriage, but I’d really, really like to have it soon. Really.

Cycle 2, CD 1

heirtoblair — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 11:52:00 +0000

The red-headed whore showed up last night.

Now the decision regarding TTC this month has to be made. If we did get pg this cycle, my approximate due date would be 6/8/09. If you remember, my mother’s one request was that I not be due around my little sister’s graduation, which is roughly the end of May/beginning of June. And although graduation is just one day, I think the “fear” is that I will go into labor the day she graduates. On top of that, she’s actually my cousin that we have guardianship over & she becomes a legal adult on the day of her graduation, which has legal implications for the days surrounding that commemorative event. So I understand that a new baby or immanent labor might be a stressor in that time period that is not needed by anyone.

Hence the new poll to the right. Obviously, this decision is made strictly per me & Nate, but I do like to see where other people’s opinions lie if it was their choice to make.