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I am a wife, mother,  & connoisseur of breaded chicken.  A Southern belle that loves camping in my hot pink tent, making to-do lists, & owning ridiculously expensive pocket books.  I despise black jellybeans. I’m going to be thirty sooner than I’d like.  I think my husband & Kevin Costner are both wicked hot.

I also have a habit of spilling coffee all over myself at inopportune moments.

I spend my days chasing a toddler on the playground in high heels & attending business meetings with a Matchbox car in my briefcase.  I spent six years in the non-profit arena then moonlighted as a Product Marketer for Microsoft.  Now I’m a Digital Marketing Specialist for a business analytics software company.  I always thought I’d go to law school, but I’m pretty excited about the nerd-tastic turn of my career.

I volunteer with Ronald McDonald House Charities.  I believe in giving back.

I spend my evenings as a writer for Babble, contributing to their Toddler Times blog & talking about how my daredevil toddler will single-handedly skyrocket insurance rates.

(I might be a workaholic.)

I had severe postpartum depression after the birth of my son.  It was a terrifying time in my life.

As a warning, I like to over-share.  I like to use adult language, especially after drinking adult beverages.  I’m a reformed internet mean girl.  This is my real name. I write with ampersands.  I talk about The Momma a lot (she’s my mother).  I believe that people can change for the better.  I love Jesus, but this ain’t no Bible-thumpin’ rally.  I like to attention-whore out my life, invent curse words, & devour a plate of chocolate chip cookies in a single sitting.

This is the place where I pour out every essence of me to the universe.

I am glad you are here.  I hope you brought wine.

shoes

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Stealing is for losers. Copyright 2008-2012 Beth Anne Ballance