The stages of pregnancy.

by heirtoblair on July 12, 2012

Oh, pregnancy. I have such a love/hate relationship with you. I love being pregnant & feeling the baby kick, but I am not a cute pregnant person. I puke through the entire first trimester, swell like crazy starting at 15 weeks, & get stretch marks on my knees. Pregnancy is not a good look for me (to put it kindly), but pregnancy emotions? I could bottle them up & sell them for a fortune. I felt happy 90% of the time when I was pregnant, just knowing that I was pregnant. The day of our NT scan with Harrison, I walked on a happy cloud made of pixie dust the entire day. Nothing could erase my smile. Just the idea of a little baby in my uterus made me want to vomit sunshine & unicorns on strangers. Then again, there’s a ton of other emotions that go with it, too…

6931 625064094631 3914148 n The stages of pregnancy.

First Trimester: I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant? I’m pregnant! I AM PREGNANT! PREGTASTIC! PREGARIFFIC! PREGGO MY EGGO! PREGS UP THE SHIZZLE! Wait. Vomit. Exhaustion. I can’t eat that. I really can’t eat that. I just need to sleep. I just need a trashcan. Lightheaded. Bloated. Puking. I can’t believe I wanted this. I can’t believe I willingly did this to myself. Acne. Dull. Napping. Constipation. A heartbeat! Joy! I’m having a baby!

Second Trimester: Let’s tell everyone! Glowing! Hair! Energy! Cute tiny bump! Maternity clothes shopping! It’s a boy! It’s a girl! Food is delicious! Baby’s first kick! Perma-smile! Oof, a little nausea today. Sciatic pain. I miss my heels. I love my maternity jeans! Paint colors! Bedding choices! Registry! Babymoon! First baby shower! This is so fun!

Third Trimester: I’m so fat. Swollen. Exhausted. Nauseated. Heartburn. Sciatic pain. Can’t sleep. Must pee. Can’t eat. Don’t talk to me about saving up sleep. Nesting. Cleaning. Laundry. Baby shower. Stretch marks. Acne. Sore joints. Pressure. Is that labor? Is that my mucus plug? Is that my water? Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. This kid is turning my kidneys into a soccer ball. I just peed myself. Wait. Is that labor?

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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Amanda July 12, 2012 at 11:22 am

Are you pregnant? I see a trend here!


Lindsey July 12, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I was thinking the EXACT same thing lol…


Ruthy T. (@DiscoveryStreet) July 12, 2012 at 12:02 pm

YES!! i love this…i’m in that last stage right now at 32 weeks…just blogged about my swelling!


Carla July 12, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Bahahahaha. *dying over here*. This so perfectly summed up my 3 trimesters of pregnancy. :D And labor? That’s a WHOLE other chapter to the story.


Sara July 12, 2012 at 12:25 pm

LOVE this! This is basically how I felt throughout my entire pregnancy. :-) Hilarious!


Erin July 12, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Just add being induced due to crazy high BP at 39wks & its YES to all of the above for me!


Heather July 12, 2012 at 3:25 pm

ok i dont comment a lot but omg that was spot on perfection. per. fect. ion. i love you.


Jess July 12, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Trying to tell us something?!?!


Lindsay July 12, 2012 at 8:32 pm

I’m 32 weeks right now and you basically just summed up my 3rd trimester entirely. It’s the end of the day and my feet are huge, I’m exhausted, it’s hot as hell outside and oh wait there’s a kick can’t wait to meet our baby girl!


Maydelin Gomez July 12, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Hi, I never been here before! I just found your blog for the video/ interview that you had with other blogs! and just looks so nice, So I decide found your blog, and the firths thing that I read was this and I just laughed so hard… I never been pregnant but this is so hilarious… And I’m so sorry for my ENGLISH I’m from Venezuela and also tired!


Thusa July 12, 2012 at 9:12 pm

This was seriously hysterical.


sam July 12, 2012 at 9:52 pm

yeah, well after 3 8+ lb girls we finally had a boy a week ago- he was 11+ lbs. there is no pain like pushing that out your hoohar.


Amy July 13, 2012 at 8:30 am

I think there has to be a Postpartum sobbing phase. I know that’s not technically pregnancy, but let’s face it, the sweating and sobbing those few days after the baby is born is a pregnancy side effect. The first month after Charlotte was born I could not stop sweating and crying. It was endless fluid release. You know what? I’m just gonna write a post about this instead of this ongoing comment. Love you BA!


Corie July 20, 2012 at 12:42 am

You didn’t leave anything out. So perfect, made me laugh out loud!


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