I was going to write something yesterday about turning 29 & how June 2nd seemed to creep up on me this year with all the other things in life grabbing my attention. Truthfully, I spent 90% of the day in an allergy-drugged haze because I’m pretty sure Doug tried to sabotage me by rubbing a cat on me in the middle of the night, which turned into a 2-hour sneezing tailspin that pulled both back & belly muscles.
Yes, I am that out of shape which is probably fitting considering my old age.
I jest, I jest.
I’m one year away from thirty, which seemed like such a mature & old age when I was 16. I suppose the irony of this coming year is that I still feel 16 & I’m a little uncomfortable that in my mind, I’m on my 13th round of being 16 & I’m still wondering how I passed my driving test & that I’m actually married & it’s totally cool that I have sex on the regular.
There’s a pretty popular meme in life that goes something like 30 By 30 & it’s a list of things to do & accomplish & see before you say goodbye to the carefree years of the twenties. My good friend & fellow June 2nd birthday girl, Morgan, said it best that “it just serves as a VIRAL REMINDER TO PANIC over whatever item on the list you haven’t checked off.”
In short, those kinds of lists don’t do well for people-pleasers like me who shrivel at the mere thought of disappointing anyone, be damned how it makes me feel inside. I don’t know what I want this last year in my twenties to be – certainly not a slide into thirty, waving my martini glass & shouting “What a ride!” or whatever cute kitschy phrase you might find on a Pinterest graphic. I’d just like to be settled by the time June 2, 2013 rolls around to where I’m back under one roof with my boys full time & not wondering what will happen when COBRA runs out or if we’ll rent or buy or rent or buy or…oh, God. That decision changes every day.
So you probably won’t see me skydiving or running a half-marathon this year. I’d just like to find a steady pace in life, to grow & settle at the exact same time.