The Final Week

by heirtoblair on March 20, 2012

When I think back on the last week of my pregnancy, I remember being very pregnant.  Swollen ankles to match a swollen belly & anticipation that flowed through the core of my being. None of my clothes fit anymore, only the maternity leggings & jeans I bought last-minute with a few T-shirts. I began wearing them to the office without even asking permission, but at almost two weeks overdue, I think they knew better than to argue.

All of my paperwork & clients were settled anyway – me sitting behind my desk was like a lame duck president, simply waiting for the term to end.

Every night, I came home with exhausted hips & feet but by the end of the night, after dishes were tucked back into cabinets & a cup of tea brewed, I found myself sitting in the nursery. I sat with only a lamp on in the glider, hand on my belly & full of wonder. I wondered who this little baby would be & who I would become as a mother. I worried that I did not have enough diapers or enough clothes or enough bottles or that I would simply not be enough. Sometimes I straightened the little outfits in the closet for the 500th time, but mostly I sat & rocked. I sang lullabies, practicing for future 3am wake-up calls. I dreamed of little toes & Little League, of a lifetime ahead.

Sometimes my husband peeked in on me with a smile, that indulgent smile that I always returned because we made this miracle & this life. It embarrassed me a little, to be found lost in thought, since earlier that day he had caught me standing on the coffee table vacuuming the ceiling. Or scrubbing the bathtub while I was showering. Or checking my hospital bag once more.

I did a lot of those nesting tasks on repeat as I waited for labor. The labor that never came on its own. That infuriating, magical week where every moment was the longest pause of my life & every twinge was the possible beginning of something new.

Find more posts from bloggers sharing their experiences of motherhood on the Huggies page on BlogHer.com.

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Heather March 12, 2012 at 8:47 am

Very sweet :) That last week of being pregnant is the longest most excrutiating yet exciting week ever. Thank you for sharing. Looking forward to your “Huggies” posts!!

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Maija @ Maija's Mommy Moments March 12, 2012 at 8:48 am

I remember that last week with all three of mine. The first one… the one where I was full of everything you’ve said was such an incomfortable and yet trule a time of anticipation. Thanks for reminding me! Now excuse me if i go and snuggle my babies :)

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Kristen March 12, 2012 at 9:28 am

This post made me feel so many things. I shall voice them in list form:
1. I love your blogging always, but it made me remember that I LOOOOVED you as a pregnancy blogger. You just put all those complicated feelings into words so perfectly.
2. Which inappropriately makes me hope you get KU again soon.
3. And, totally unrelated, it made me miss those days of awesome anticipation, which made me wish *I* could get KU again soon (not financially doable at this juncture, and something I also generally think is a bad idea on like 4 out of 7 days of the week when the toddler is destroying the house and I’m unable to ever have my ish together).
4. Also, this made me realize that being pregnant with a second won’t be the same at all as how it was the first time around. There will be no quiet moments of prep and wonderment, because a 2-year-old will be all up in my (swollen) face demanding that I chase him, play with him, make him a cup of juice, snuggle with him, etc. Which makes me feel sad for neglected future phantom baby #2.
5. Which makes me think I’ve stumbled upon a crazy math formula secret of some sort – does mom guilt increase exponentially with each kid???
6. You’re welcome for (another) novel-length comment.

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Courtney Anne March 12, 2012 at 9:53 am

All I can think about now is one of the more recent episodes of the office where Pam compares being late in pregnancy to the last semester of senior year where you’ve pretty much checked out and don’t give a flip about anything anymore. She said something to the effect that she spit her gum out on the carpet….made me LOL.

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Erin March 12, 2012 at 10:28 am

Love this! I remember doing the same thing in my glider!

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Tracy @ Liberating Working Moms March 12, 2012 at 11:11 am

Love this.

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Candice March 12, 2012 at 11:23 am

We didn’t have a glider yet then (we were in a small apartment) but if we did, that’s so what I would have done. There was a green arm chair in there that I would just sit in and look around. I had a scheduled c-section, so the night before, I stood in the nursery, leaned on the crib and just started crying, thinking about how at that moment, it was just a room, a baby’s room – but tomorrow, it would be our son’s room. It was such an emotionally overwhelming moment, in a terrifying but still good way. My husband came in and was like, “Oh my god, what’s wrong, are you okay?” and I was all, “Tomorrow this will be Nate’s roooooom, wahh..” LOL

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Amy March 21, 2012 at 11:22 am

Totally! Every moment was a freaking lifetime! People can say what they want about Pitocin. It’s a wonderdrug!

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Kimberly March 21, 2012 at 7:43 pm

oh those were some sweet moments. i would rock away in his rocking chair day dreaming of what was going to be. It was exciting and happy and scary all at once.
PS, how the hell did you get up on a table? I could barely shave my own legs!

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TarheelsInNj March 22, 2012 at 10:04 am

As I’m about to share this I realize this might sound like rubbing it in, but my H was 3 weeks early. And in some ways, I feel like I missed some of the nesting phase. When my water broke, my initial thought was “OMG we’re not ready!!!” and I began to panic about the things I still had to do and buy. I spent a few hours wrapping up things with work (I wasn’t in active labor yet) and then headed to the hospital, but I definitely had to send the in-laws out to buy a few last-minute supplies I hadn’t completed yet. Of course, I had spent 9 months waiting for my son, but still when it was time I didn’t feel ready! Maybe I would have felt that way anyway, who knows…

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Nicole March 22, 2012 at 2:14 pm

I used to sit in my glider and think to myself with my hands on my belly and just wonder… and my husband would call from the office, “What are you doing?” And I would answer, “Rocking the baby.”

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