“Okay, so I’ll give the script change a stab & send it over for approval, but we’ll do a conference call on Tuesday for…oooph!”

::toddler takes flying leap into my lap::

“Sorry about that,” I continue.  “Anyway, I reached out to the ‘new Tim’ & he’s on board for Tuesday so we will…”

::toddler reaches finger under my chin & pushes button on phone::  “Daddy?  DADDY?!?  DADDY!”

“No, baby. It’s not Daddy.  What?  No, I’m sorry…I didn’t call you ‘baby.’  I meant my kid,” I explain.  This is humbling.

I know, it sounds crazy but I promise, we’re finding our stride & this is our life right now.  It’s wild & changes every day, but we’re learning to roll with the punches.  It feels like everything has changed in our lives over the past few months, from our job status to insurance to whether or not we’ll be elligible for another home loan, or if we’ll be waiting it out in an apartment until either a) my consulting income counts or b) I get another full-time job.  I have a constant worry that with only 17 months left on my COBRA insurance, I will somehow not get benefits ever! again! becuase I’m a dramatic control freak, which means that 17 months equals TICK TOCK TICK TOCK in my head on the constant.

I like control.  I like to-do lists.  I like when I know Plan A & the bullets under Plan A.  & just in case that doesn’t shake out, I have all the way to Plan M & those bullets ready, too.  Right now?  We’re at Plan N & I have no effing clue what we’re doing other than holding on to each other for the ride.