Lately there’s been a lot swirling around in my life. Mostly good stuff, some stressful stuff, a lot of sitting & waiting & more waiting & OH GOD, I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT IT BUT I CAN’T.
No, I’m not pregnant.
About a month ago, I received a phone call from my doctor’s office requesting that I switch psychiatrists as my doctor would be out of the office. “Oh, that’s fine. I’ll just wait for her to return,” I said pleasantly. awkward pause at the end of the line. “I’m sorry, but that won’t be possible,” the assistant explained. Before I could truly grasp what was happening, I found myself scheduled to see a different psychiatrist on a different day. My head spun.
Where is she? What’s going on? I have to see a new doctor?! She’ll know nothing about me. What if she doesn’t agree to the meds I’m on? What if she wants to change everything?
Quickly, I pulled up my doctor’s email & shot a quick note to her – that I hoped she was doing well, I was nervous about seeing a new doctor but if it was necessary, did she have any recommendations for a good fit?
I bet it’s a family issue. I hope she’s not sick. I wonder if Duke offered her a temporary position to get a postpartum unit running there?
No answer to the email.
Is it me? Did I get too personal? Did I say something wrong? Did I make her uncomfortable with something I said in my blog?
They called to reschedule the new doctor three times.
This is unbelievable. A new doctor?! I don’t even know her! & my other doctor took off without warning. WHO TAKES OFF LIKE THAT? WHAT THE HELL?!
This past Monday afternoon, I nervously tapped my fingers & adjusted my skirt in the office of my new doctor. She’s nice. Pleasant. Sympathetic. She’s a little bit too “oh dear” & clucking of the tongue for my taste, but I think I’m just used to my old doctor’s “That’s bullshit!” hollerings while we discuss how utterly unfair postpartum depression can be, especially when Risperdal adds 15 lbs on your frame & strips you of an orgasm.
But she’ll do.
She did have some excellent insight into some of the things I’ve been “going through” lately – recurring nightmares, anxiety about driving at night, a random hour of hiding under a blanket, detachment during bath time. “Classic post traumatic stress,” she mused. “Listen, you can’t go through something that changes your life & body chemistry & not come out unaffected. The good news is, it seems to all be very isolated to specific events during the worst of your postpartum depression.” So now the work begins continues.
I still feel rattled at being on my third psychiatrist. But I’m handling it & am thankful that it’s not like a year ago, when this would have rocked me completely off my heels.
I’m going to keep being okay.
my doctor is on extended medical leave until an undisclosed time. she’s fine, but i miss her dearly.
WOW, it really must have been difficult to jump in with both feet and start seeing a new doctor, I can only imagine the extra stress and anxiety that must have introduced into the equation. Good on ya for trucking through!
Amber
My husband is a doctor and when he had to take time off after X was born to handle me and our son’s surgery/recovery it was incredibly hard on his patients. Thank you from all of us on the other side for being so understanding.
That said it’s such a hard adjustment moving from one therapist to another. Once you get into a groove and find a comfortable pattern in which to open up having that changed is awful.
I hope things go well with this new doctor and good for you for handling it so well! You’re an inspiration to us all.
I’m sorry girl. That sucks. Been there done that and it’s definitely a hard thing to adjust to. Maybe you’re in a different place therapy wise and this one will be good for the next chapter of your healing. Good luck!
Wow. I must say, this would’ve prob STILL rocked me.
My hubby was in counseling for a bit and his office never called to say that my hubby’s counselor was moving. We just found out through the grapevine. So, at the very least, your office contacted you directly!
glad you are feeling much better about this switch and remember I’m always here to yell WTF & Bullshit with you!
Your back…I’ve got it!
Smooches dear friend.
I can’t imagine how hard that must be to go from being with someone you know and trust to a stranger. I’m so proud of you for jumping in with both feet and pulling through a potential difficult situation. I adore you.
I know the feeling – when I called my OB when I found out I was pregnant with #2 I was told she was on medical leave and they did not know when/if she would be returning. I really panicked. She was MY doctor – I wanted HER. She knew my history, my PPD issues.
The office recommended a new doc that joined the practice. And while she’s nice enough, she’s not “my” doctor.
My doctor never did return to the practice. I haven’t heard a word about her in the 9 months I’ve been returning to the office now. I did notice that her office has someone else’s name on it now and she’s been removed from the directory. I’m sad. I’ll be ok (and I hope she is too), but I’m sad.
Yikes, that is a tough situation. I can’t imagine being forced to see a new doctor without notice, I understand it happens, but that is hard. I commute over an hour to see my doctor that I have been seeing for years and years because I don’t want to have to go through the process of having to explain all my stuff to someone new..I get it. My husband tells me all the time I should find someone closer to out new house, but I just can’t do it. Good luck and I hope its a good match!
I look forward to the day you can share the good things with us!
And rats to switching therapists. I get all emo about switching hair colorists so I can only imagine how much that must suck.
This officially wins as comment of the day!!
Thank you for making me chuckle
It was so very much needed. Also, when my hair gal left the salon & I couldn’t find her, I boycotted haircuts for almost an entire year before grudgingly going to someone else. & then I FOUND HER. mwuahahaha.
I want to say something really inspiring here, but really I just want to say “that’s bull shit”. So annoying!
This comment is not so much about this post just a friendly …..suggestion ?!?! I think you would look lovely with reddish auburn hair.
And yes i know this sounds all super creepy stalkerishy but that is NOT my intention!
Glad you are trucking on. My brother has bipolar and I couldnt begin to imagine the craziness that could/would result if he were to see a new psych. UNC has one of the best pediactric psych wards around and when he went in around a year ago to get his meds regulated, he had the same docs that saw him 10 years prior and they even remembered him. He has tons or physical needs as well.. so hes kinda hard to forget!! Great to hear she ‘will do’ and your writings about PPD are truely inspiring!
I want to echo the above comments and say good for you for jumping in with both feet. Must be hard, but hopefully you may hear of some closure from your old Doc at some point. Love to read your blog and this is my first comment even though I’ve been reading for a while! Your honesty and humour are wonderful!
Totally off topic . Hello new hair! You look amazing! reminds me of Rachel McAdams. Great style on you.
Oh wow! Oh no! I’m sorry she’s MIA. But I’m glad you gave this new person a shot. If it ends up not working you can always find someone else, but hopefully a connection will establish itself between the two of you. Good luck w/this one and keep us posted. I’ll be thinking about you!
Glad she’ll do, even if she’s not as good of a fit as the last one. but I’m more glad that you’re still going, and didn’t let the change become a reason to stop.
Man, that would knock me off my rocker, too. To have invested so much time with one person with such personal information and then to hear that you might never SEE them again? And no closure or formal goodbye? Ugh. Good for you, though, for jumping right in and meeting with someone else. I know a lot of people would have taken that as an excuse to “take a break” and thus go backward. I hope she gets less tongue-clicky.