Repeat: I AM NOT READY TO GET PREGNANT AGAIN.
Any pregnancy in the next year (at least) would be the most epic fail of prescription birth control + condoms ever. Yes, that’s right. I’m married & we use birth control & condoms at the same time. I don’t want that sperm anywhere NEAR me.
But then I stumbled across this picture.
oh, dear.
My ovaries quivered as if to say, “There’s more where that one came from, baby.”
I told them to kindly shut up & go back to sleep.
Thank God I’m not the only one. I feel like I am in a CONSTANT every.single.day. battle with baby fever right now. I find myself wistfully looking at Addie’s newborn pics but the minute I think my period is a second late I crumble in a big heap of anxiety about how we are NOT READY YET. At least until 2012. But still. TINY SOFT GOOD SMELLING BEBEH.
I need a serious reality check. SERIOUS. (and pics of tiny Harrison are NOT HELPING.)
So NOT READY. SO SO SO NOT READY.
But baby smells? I’m starting to dig them again.
I have 4 kids and I found a good balance in age is about 2 and a half years apart. Good luck with the ovaries though. Mine do the same thing when I see little babies. Thankfully I have fixed my baby making ability.
I tell folks that I need to be able to have conversations with Harrison before another kid comes into the picture. So I’m guessing a three-year difference at the minimum!
I know what you mean. There is a picture of J from when he was itty bitty and EVERY time I see it these days I think “well…. maybe…”
And then reality sets in and I remind myself that NO, UH UH, and HELL TO THE NO are the appropriate responses.
I remember that pic: wee H in his manly flowery blanket. We had never heard of Wubbanubs before and Mommy raced off to order me a cute little puppy of my own – who STILL accompanies me in the car seat!
Good grief I’m right there with you.
And my goal is to be able to have conversations with the current kidlet too.
It doesn’t help everytime I see the MIL I get “SoooOOOoo how did your doctor appointment go the other day? Find out any ‘fun’ news you’d like to share?”
*twitch*
Same boat here. Unfortunately my body won’t tolerate any form of hormone based birth control and since I hate condoms with a firey passion we are in the no-sex-til-we-explore-other-options-with-the-ob mode. Which pretty much blows dogs for quarters. Our son is just over 2 and I have no desire for another until he is out of diapers, in school and no longer taking a daily nap. We are currently living with ‘the fear’. I see tiny baby’s and get all “Awwww” for just a minute, and then I write a check to daycare and promptly have an anxiety attack at the thought of writing TWO.
Right there with you. Whenever we pass by a fresh and new baby on the street I have to tell my ovaries to zip it! My boy is the same age as Harry and I want #2 eventually but I’m not ready to gain another 45 lbs only to lose 30 of them, attempt breastfeeding, only to wind up pumping, not sleep during the 10 months of pregnancy, or for 3 or 4 months after the baby comes, or figure out how to pay for daycare for two or where to move to because our place will be too small for 4.
I’ll be ready eventually, just not today.
I have this battle with myself every single day. I would gladly get pregnant again right this second but I know that would be stupid because we are no where near ready for another baby.
Hahaha. Way to stay strong. I folded to the pangs and now I am scared out of my mind to have 2 BOYS 25 months appart. Lord help me.
God doesn’t give us more than we can handle right?!?!?
We’re planning on trying around our little ones first birthday. We want them to be close enough in age that they’ll be friends but far enough apart that they’ll have a grade between them in school.
Plus that’s about how far apart both of us are from our siblings.
Okay, and we want another baby…
BA, your kid is adorable. That is all
I’m glad that I am not the only one whose body seems to want another baby, yet I don’t! In fact, Friday I go to renew my birth control and I’m getting the ring just so I don’t have to remember to take it every day like the pill.
oh, I used to LOVE the ring!! But something about pregnancy & PPD made me go all wonky with it & now I can only do low-dose hormones
Yeah..that’s why my dear hubs had frozen peas on his balls for a week….snip snip for him. For gawds sakes…I’m 40, he’s 45, we already have a 12y, 9y and a too good to be true 9month old…freaky how sweet and even tempered this little dude is, or maybe it’s just I’m old and shit doesn’t phase me anymore….anywho…he’s snipped or I’d be seriously tempted and that would be dumb, dumb, dumb!
Peas on the balls!!!!
I told Nate that when he gets snipped, he’ll get snipped in March so he can lay on the couch with peas on his balls & watch basketball. He thought that sounded like a good deal.
I remember feeling this way not too long ago.
OOPS.
I loved it when you told me you were pregnant. You give me hope.
Hey Blair… do you get scared about PPD with #2? I was dealing with mine around the same time you were and I’m terrified to have another baby for that reason.
…even though my uterus jumps on a regular basis.
Absolutely terrified.
But we’ve got a good game plan in place so that if it happens, it never has to get as bad again. I’ll be on anti-depressants through the pregnancy & then start the Risperdol in third tri (because I’m now high-risk for full postpartum psychosis). I’ll see my doctor throughout the pregnancy & afterwards & I’ll be in the same hospital system so that she’ll have full access to me during labor & delivery if need be. My mom will stay with us for two weeks after the baby is born because that’s when the risk for psychosis runs higher. & of course now we all know the warning signs.
I’m afraid, but I’m also confident in my doctor & myself now. It REALLY helps having a “plan” even though I don’t plan on using that plan anytime soon.
Yeah, I totally feel that way: not ready to be pregnant! Unfortunately for me, I’m 16 weeks along on baby #2 (with a 15-month-old underfoot!). Oops! BC + condoms = a good idea!! I am adjusting to the idea of another newbie, though…while giving myself chances to freak out every now and then! At least the diaper years will be over quickly at our house
.
Adorable. And I’m feeling quite the opposite… I’m DYING to get my hands (or egg) on Hubbs’ sperm, but it’s not the right time… boo
My daughter and son are 1 year and 4 days apart (18 months and 6 months respectively), so I understand what you say when you need Harrison to be able to speak to you before you want another one. I have 2 babies at very different stages and that makes it hard. At my 6 week post partum check, in went the IUD, and I love it (after the random spotting stopped). Plus, we’ll really have to think it through should we ever decide to have another since I have to see a doc to have it removed.
I have been cut off from looking at E when he was that small.
But no one is around to tell me not to look right now…hmmm…
oh! my uterus just twitched thinking about it!
I’m with Alyssa. Mine are 16 months apart (20m and 4m right now) and while I love it most days, it is extremely hard. At 6w post pardum in went the IUD. And that was HUGE because I never ever thought I would be in BC again (DD was IVF/ICSI – DS was *surprise!*).
I think we’re done (most days) but we’re not sure enough to get DH snipped yet. I like your idea of the timing on the snippage… for my DH it would be during BCS Bowl season.
we uh, use condoms too. both my husband and I were conceived while our mothers were taking birth control. i’m going with our family is extra fertile and i’m not taking any chances!
So glad I’m not the only marriage person that uses the pill and a condom! My friends think I’m crazy…well, because of that and many other reasons I’ve provided them. I have a time frame for baby #2 and to prevent that from happening to soon, we use both!
have you thought about a copper IUD ( paragard) it’s non hormonal and pretty damn effective and a lot more liberating than condoms!
I understand your reservations about having baby #2. You’re still so young . Just enjoy Harrison and when your heart and your head sync up, you’ll know it and be ready.
I wish! My insurance won’t cover birth control – so my OB had mercy on me & gave me a full year of “samples” for free, but unfortunately, she can’t swing that with an IUD. So I’m pretty limited.
I have three. All boys. 10 years between #2 and #3 and I crave another. Not right now. But when is now ever “right”?
I won’t lie…I bawled my eyes out when I found out my BFF was trying for another. Yea I am jealous. This year we were going to wean and try. Obviously it’s not in the cards and that makes me so very depressed.
We also use the swig (a pill) and wrap (the wiener) combo. You can never be too safe.
You’ll know when the time is right. Go with your heart
Oh I understand! Doesn’t everyone ask you when you are ready to have the next? I think I may have still be in the hospital when people would say “when is number 2 or #3 coming along?”
Smelling those cute babies and passing them off to their parents while I sleep all night is the perfect balance for me!
SEVEN of the moms in my Mom’s Group are pregnant and due this spring. I know the baby fever is going to hit hard, but like you, I am not at all ready to be pregnant again. Justin and I have agreed that it’s off the table until our summer co-ed softball season is over at the very least!
I am totally with you. I’ve been married for almost 4 years, we don’t have children, and don’t plan to for several years. And we use a birth control pill and a condom. *every time*
Girl. Birth Control, condom AND pull and pray here. I don’t play.
Oh lovey, that sweet face! Those blond curls!
I still remember when Harrison was born (is that creepy?), and I squealed and said to Taylor, “OMG, is he not the cutest baby you have EVER seen?!?!” Taylor agreed.
I understand the pull for another. Two under two, baby. I might have just lost my mind.
We had our babies around the same time (mine was Oct 5) and funny, I am getting a serious itch too. For many reasons, we are also using 15 different types of birth control, including saran wrap – because I also had PPD, because I still hate my post baby body, because we still live with my parents, because I just finally found my dream job, because because because…
But oh my GOD every time I see a picture of that little baby face of hers.. now that she only resembles that sweet baby when she is sleeping, but during the day I can’t find her anywhere in her toddler face… I am CRAZY wanting another baby. I keep telling myself I want another of the same baby I already have… that a second baby could be a nightmare child! Besides, I want to adopt this time around.
Anyway, just wanted to pop in and say I relate.
Amen sister. I so wish my husband could handle the whole “carrying the baby for 9 months” on the next one. I mean geeze-Louise…..how in God’s name can I survive another hormonal catastrophe? That was a super insane emotional 40 week roller coaster and I think I really should have been locked in Dix Hill at some point. And then there’s the breastfeeding. I won’t even get into it. I love my son so, so very much. He is amazing; but the thought of it scares the crap out of me. Really.
Love the photo of Harry BTW.
I’m ready for another baby…I’m just not ready to be pregnant. Makes me wish the stork was real.
yep. me neither. not ready. i mean, yes, i want a baby, of course. am i ready? hells no. my friends are already hard at work on baby #2 which makes me a wee bit jealous, and a whole lotta relieved that it’s not me…
Back before I was a parent, I thought 18mos-2yrs was a great age difference. Now that I’ve been through pregnancy, labor, birth and intense sleep deprivation, I’m thinking it’s time to tie my insides up!
I’m obviously not ready either.
My baby girl is nine months old and she started sleeping “through the night” (7 pm to 4:30 am, and then she’s up for good!) last week. So as cute as your little fox is, I see that picture and I think SLEEP DEPRIVATION. But then there’s also this little twinge…maybe the next one will sleep better?!
I go back and forth. My daughter is 15 months and just when I start thinking I want another I remember that she STILL doesn’t sleep through the night…so not ready!
I want to have my third but I still have 30 (yikes) lbs of baby weight to lose….dam metabolism. Of course having both boys with double ear infections this weekend does have me retinking.
3 years is perfect spacing! I wasn’t even close to ready until my oldest was 18 months. My oldest turned 3 and then we had our second the very next day. So far, so good.
My insurance doesn’t pay for the IUD either, which is odd because it is far cheaper than a pregnancy. But after joining the three under two club this June we are going to pony up the cash for a Mirena until we decide whether my husband will be sitting on a bag of ice in the future.
I hear you!!!!! I look at the pictures of X. and I love those moments but I’m not ready to add another. The moments with him are so precious and I am really enjoying his baby years. I know I’d like another ‘someday’. I’m just not sure when ‘someday’ is.
If I could give birth to a kid around Harrison’s & Evan’s age, I’d do it in a heartbeat….but I just CANNOT bring myself to go back to the sleeplessness, etc.
Plus, I’m 36….I just don’t know if I have it in me for round 2.
I think it would be weirder if you WERE wanting to get pregnant already, esp with everything you’ve been through. My first was a tough baby, and I didn’t feel ready to get knocked up again until just before he turned 3. He’ll be 3y8m when this baby is born, and I think it’s perfect spacing for this mama, who struggled with the whole infant-thang.
All in good time!
I recently found out my SIL is preggers, and it SO makes me want to have another one. But then I stop to think about the sleepless nights and dirty diapers and I realize…Yeah, not so much!
We decided 2.5-3 years between kiddie which means ::gulp:: we will start trying in July. As in 4 months away. I’m terrified but also so excited. But mostly terrified right now!
Oh itty bitty Harry – how old was he in this photo?
My daughter will be four months this week and I just had my first “ANOTHER?!? YES PLZ” twinge today. Freaked me the heck out, man. No no no.
I’m thinking he was a couple of weeks old
The fear of another bout of PPD didn’t leave me until my son was 3. When I finally got pregnant (3 years after that), we developed a plan too. I chose not to remain on meds during pregnancy but started popping those pills the night she was born. The only difference this time was that the PPD “only” lasted 7 months as opposed to 9 months with my first. The most upsetting part the second time around was knowing that it “shouldn’t” have happened because I had a plan and was aware of the signs. Granted, I chose not to be on meds while pregnant so maybe things would have been different if I had been on something before she was born.
I want another so badly too but we’re waiting until our son, who is 14 mos. is a little over 2 so he’ll be 3 when No. 2 is born. I always say the same thing—He has to understand what I’m saying to him., He might not listen, but at least we can have conversations. I’d probably wait longer, but I’m old : ( When the urge overcomes me, it helps to remind myself that this is my son’s time for one on one attention. I work FT, so I want to give him whatever time I can. No. 2 won’t be so lucky.
I completely empathize with you, I’m pregnant with my second but my oldest is 4 1/2 years old. Yep, it took me 4 years to “get ready” to do it all over again and I have to say, it was THE best decision we made because it’s, dare I say; “easy” because Emily is so self-sufficient and goes to school 5x a week.
I have 3 boys and love them all to pieces. Thinking that I won’t have any more seems so final. I love the baby stage and every one around me is having babies. Part of me craves the freedom I had before having kidlets. Part of me is dreading the day they will move away…Hubby wants to get snipped and I’m just not sure…Its like having a new car..You love that new car smell…but it fades a way..You get some stains, spills, engine issues… Same as the new baby smell..It is so heavenly though:)
My boys are 6, 4 and 18months..They are all about 2 and half years apart. Certain times I wish they were closer. Maybe this time you will breeze right by with out the PPD. I hope!!
On another note, do you have a health clinic that you can get low cost B/C? I know here in AZ you tell them your income etc and sometimes its free, and sometimes it may cost you 5.00 for a pack of pills. IUD’s you can get for Free too!!!
Scoot over, girl, because we are most definitely in the same boat!
Careful what you say! My boy is 2 weeks older than Harrison. I have a friend with a boy one month younger than mine, and they got pregnant with number 2 ON PURPOSE so their kids will be only 18 months apart. Not long after ranting to my husband how stupid crazy that would be, and why would anyone have kids less than 2 years apart, certainly not us, I found out I was pregnant! At 15 weeks and first trimester over, I have finally adjusted to the fact that my kids will be 23 months apart, with me not yet done with my online bachelors degree work. I still haven’t brought myself to looking at baby names, though. Then I feel guilty cause this little one deserves all the excitement that the first one got! I just PLEASE need the first kid to consistently sleep through the night! (I AM thankful though, really!)
girl, you are not the only one who is married and uses birth control and condoms. heck, i’d use a third option if i could fit anything else in the mix. my husband doesen’t call it “baby batter” just for kicks (well he does but you know what i mean!).
i swear just last night i saw a preview for the new season of 16 and pregnant, and it made my uterus ache. a shot of a 16 year old, kissing her teeny, weeny newborn almost made me jump the husband. thankfully i was snapped back into reality when i noticed my 8 month old dumping out dvds and ripping apart the speaker.
I just had my second and I have to say that it is wonderful (and crazy difficult) having my oldest be almost 3. He can play independently, feed himself, and helps me out. I don’t know how people do it when the oldest is still so dependent on them.
Hahaha Love it! I’m the one that wants a baby cuz I dont have one yet. lol
You crack me up. I’m pregnant right now with our first…eleven more weeks to go. And (am I crazy, yes) I’m already thinking about the next one.
I’m sure when this one gets here, I’ll give myself a major slap in the face and be double dosing the birth prevention just like you are.
That is EXACTLY how I felt too!! EXACTLY!!! Unfortunately (or rather, fortunately as it turns out) the spermies ended up near me anyway and low and behold, I wouldn’t change it for the world
I am also NOT READY to be pregnant lol. Plus DD is so fun & easy right now (she’s 15 months) that having another one just sounds like…work?
I know that will change, but I’m thinking a 3+ year gap for us, too.