There are people out there that try to make me feel guilty for my love of social media.
“You talk to people on the internet?”
“You should read an actual book rather than being interested in a stranger’s blog.”
“Your generation over-shares too much.”
“Why would you put yourself out there like that? Nobody really cares.”
“You spend your evenings blogging when you could be doing something productive with your time.”
They all really grind my biscuit butter & not in a good way. Social media is my hobby & my passion & all of these comments exist to make me feel like it’s wrong & dirty & that there’s something wrong with me for liking it.
I may be nerdy. I may always have a stronger love affair with my Mac than couture handbags. But what’s “wrong” with me is not that I’ve delved into the online world, but that I have a weird fascination with WHAM! the 80′s pop group. (true story)
Lately I’ve thought a lot about the last comment, mostly because it’s the more recent one that’s been flung in my face:
“You spend your evenings blogging when you could be doing something productive with your time. I run & cook in my free time instead of sitting down to a meaningless computer.”
In case you don’t speak passive aggressive, I’ll translate: “Here are my priorities & since you feel the same way, YOU ARE LIVING LIFE WRONG.” I hoped the days of having the “right” extra-curricular activities ended in high school, but apparently they stretch into motherhood. According to the above comment, if you don’t enjoy staying fit & cooking as your main hobbies, then HOLD ON TO YOUR EASTER BONNET, because you’re not a true balanced woman.
Here’s the thing – we ALL have different hobbies. Some of you love baking. Some of you love travel. Some folks sew. I’m sure that someone out there in the universe has a thing for collecting ceramic birds from yard sales. Me? I like Twitter & WordPress. So in the evening when I need to decompress & be “me” without wearing my SuperMomma Cape, I pour a cup of tea & curl up in front of the glare of the Mac. The same way you lace up your running sneakers or tie on an apron.
I tap out my heart onto the pages of my blog, finding release & comfort that someone else understands. I share jokes over Twitter & find new blogs to read. Blogs that open my eyes to new points of view, or ideas of crafts to engage my son. I touch base with a long-lost friend over Facebook & set up a coffee date. I find a handmade market that provides all types of goodies for me while supporting small business. & over email & despite time zone differences, two friends cry over tragedy & share secrets that we could never explain to the universe.
My hobby may be different than yours, but it does not make it any less fulfilling to a balanced life.
So yes, I am a nerd.
I’ll take that as a compliment.
p.s. this is not me. it’s mandy. she’s awesome & so is her laugh.
It’s fun being a nerd. You’re an awesome one. I like to think of myself as a computer geek. I’m proud of it. I’ve met amazing people through blogging, twitter, facebook..etc. I think it’s great!
Well if you my dear are nerdy, then I don’t know of a word stronger than nerd to describe myself. Sounds like you enjoy your life, as you should. Cooking involves cleaning and that’s work to me. See you on the interwebs!
Amen, sister. Nerd = awesome.
Blair,
I struggle with the same thing as a blogger. Some people don’t “get” putting yourself out there, spending time reading other blogs and building online friendships through the blogging world (which, when you’re lucky can translate into real life friendships, too.)
I have other hobbies- i work out, I love to shop, I love to clean (umm, seriously, I do) but blogging is a wonderful and fulfilling hobby for me and I wouldn’t stop doing it because someone didn’t get it.
great post
At least you’re not alone and you’re in a great community of fellow nerds. I love blogging and tweeting about my feelings and my day and connecting to other mothers for support. I didn’t have that much support for my PPD and PPA so I turned to your blog and others to know that I wasn’t alone in this fight.
You seem to have a well-balanced life to me and judging by your tweets, Harrison gets a lot of good quality mommy/baby time.
If you’re a nerd I want to be one too!
haha …..i love my cyber world too! Well said!
Eff em. The women I met online after my losses saved my life as did blogging about my feelings. If people want to judge you for doing something you love they are, quite simply put, assholes.
Honestly, I think people who resist social media are missing out on a lot.
Wanting to connect with other people is human nature. We’re social animals and it nourishes us to interact with other people… and yes, online counts!! The idea of cherishing privacy is kind of a WASPY cultural notion that I don’t think is inherently morally superior to wanting to share or even “over”share (and who judges how much sharing is oversharing anyway??).
I bet you won’t get anyone opposing your view on here, but just so you know…I agree!
i can’t believe people say that to you. they must not have heard of your awesomeness. that’s it. they are ignorant. or they have heard and they are jealous. (enough butt kissing…)
my mother in law likes to make me feel like a failure, for some reason. i am a SAHM, i run 2 play groups, have a blog, and do all that crunchy mom stuff. my kid is super healthy and smart, and i have a somewhat admirable social life. but i am on twitter and my blog and facebook, so clearly i must be a loser.
when i was little, i remember my mom going to the pool all day in the summers, or the park or the gym or WHEREVER there were people, and she would over share to her hearts content. yes, the circle was smaller. but mom’s need outlets. plain and simple.
tell those people to shove it.
well, i guess you already did. =)
Obviously the above mentioned comment maker must have spent SOME time in her day on-line, and reading your blog or she would have no clue who you were, thus resulting in no comment. I think it’s safe to say she’s doesn’t spend ALL her time cooking and running, don’t you think?
I’m not a blogger myself, but love taking some time for myself to check e-mail, facebook, read my favorite blogs, etc. As a stay-at-home mom, I love to read the happenings of other people’s activities. Not in a creepy-stalker way, but in a “oh, this is what other people deal with” sort of way. I ove to cook as well, but have to get recipe inspiration somewhere, right?
I truely believe that negative comments like that come from jealousy. Some stinker somewhere is just jealous of what you have going on here. I for one am glad that you take some time to share with us. You crack me up and I always appreciate anyone who can make me laugh!
I’m so with you on this one! Everyone needs a way to unwind. I’m all for being active and all that jazz, but honestly, after working all day, and being supermom, tweeting/facebooking/blogging is all I have the energy for. The point is that everyone needs some way to unwind, what it is doesn’t really matter much, unless you’re causing harm in some way. Oh, and I’m so with you on the Wham! thing too. The highlight of my trip to Rome was seeing George Michael’s outfit from ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” at the Hard Rock.
Amen! Some people live to criticize but you are right it is a hobby and really is just the same as baking, running, scrapbooking, or traveling!
There is nothing wrong with being a nerd. Internet and spreadsheet lovers unite!
I get made fun of a lot by my husband and friends for my internet obsession. My husband chooses sports, I chose my computer/iPad/Blackberry/iPod. Everyone has their thing. I’m a technology whore and proud of it.
I don’t think it makes you a nerd to be into social media. I love your blog. Even though you and I are vastly different people, I find companionship by reading your posts (I hope that doesn’t come off as super creepy, or anything…). The people that say you are spending too much time on social media probably veg in front of the TV all night or something much more solitary.
Preach it sister! I like to say, “You got your opinion, I got mine. And I will respect yours and you, as long as you don’t try to stuff said opinion down my throat.” And BTdubs, so glad that you are a nerd (like me) because your blog is the best!
Just like my mom used to say to me, I’ll say to you…
This person is clearly just jealous. Hatred and jealous comments are only cast out in negative light; no constructive criticism was given. This type of judgment is hard to ignore, but try and not take it personally. They must be jealous of the fact you have made blogging a successful outlet for yourself and have found peace and comfort in your social network. Either this is something they tried and failed or maybe have a lot of issues in their life. Continue on with what’s good for you and your family!
yes! Half the time I sometimes feel like I must hide my online bffs that I’ve made in the wonderful world of Twitter/blogging because those “outside” just don’t get it.
It’s just rude to think that any person’s priorities are better than another’s. To each his own. What of it? You don’t like it? Move on sista, no one’s paying you to read my blog/tweet/pay attention to me.
Being a nerd is a lot cooler when you’re a grown up
Wow, so most people don’t consider blogging as productive? What the what? I totally do!!!
A to the Men. Totally agree with everything.
My blogging/writing hurts many less people than my cooking, so people should be thanking me for clicking the keyboard instead of burning/cooking food for fun.
And crafts? We are into hands right now. Tracing them and making things. And licking glue. But that’s not really something to brag about, I guess.
I DREAM of being crafty. DREAM.
My obsession with all of YOUR (plural for you and all of your OTHER nerdy friends) has only heightened that dream. The thing is, I’m SOOO NOT artistic.
Anyway, I think I veered way off my point here…
I’m nerdy too. If it weren’t for social media, I would NOT be social. “Social Media” has helped me be more open, more honest and it’s helped me feel like I “fit in” somewhere (which is NO easy task).
Social media has been a blessing to me.
So… My butt may be about 10 sizes too big (ok… Maybe 12) I may not be athletic or fit… I may have a very unhealthy obsession with ALL things Pioneer woman…
BUT. I’ve got friends. FRIENDS that I stopped calling “e-friends” when I realized how they carried me through the rough times. Friends that kept me going. Friends that probably kept me alive.
So, maybe my “hobby” isn’t running or staying fit… But, my “hobby” has kept me alive.
SO, I say, PLEASE don’t go. Being able to read others experiences, be they great or small, is a gift of the modern age that I am beyond thankful for.
I love this post. It irritates me so much! I also don’t see how connecting with people via the internet isn’t as real as connecting at an awkward dinner party. I’m way more real on the internet than I am in “real life”…
Love this and love your blog….since way back to the bump days. I have overshared my whole son’s life and now I am using his blog to help me grieve his death. I don’t care if people feel it is oversharing. You do what is right for you!
I don’t know if blogging = nerdy. I have mixed feelings about why people blog, but I enjoy reading someone else’s diary either way.
the only difference in what you do and what a scrapbooker or stamper does is that you put your “work” online for people to critique
OMG, did my stepmom write that comment? Because she totally could have. Half of my parents love FB, Twitter, etc because it gives them full reign to still be in my life without being IN my life in that over-bearing way. The other half of them (I’ve got 4 parents) thinks FB is the devil and why for the love of all things good can’t I just write a letter or pick up a phone. Are you kidding? They don’t get that all the social media stuff makes me feel more connected to my friends and family, not less!
Now excuse me, I have to go drool over the new MacBook Pro and iPad2 sites.
I forgot to say something. This is a hobby for you. A hobby that also generates small, but steady income.
I would like to see those same people make those same comments if instead you were selling some god awful head band on etsy.. because then what would be the difference? It’s something you enjoy doing that someone else also enjoys (eew, head bands) and that makes you money. But for some reason when there is no exchange of goods, just divulging of personal info it’s consider creepy rather than crafty.
First of all, ” HOLD ON TO YOUR EASTER BONNET ” = hilarious. Makes mental note to this to husband soon.
I am a nerd and I totally love being this way. You cannot have a full conversation with me without me citing a study or historical reference (I’m only somewhat joking). I think my nerdiness makes me superior to others. So there.
These types of comments can be summed up pretty much as: “Your life choices do not validate mine and that makes me feel insecure. In order to squelch my insecurities, I must invalidate your choices.”
If anything, the fact that people say such things indicates that what you do is actually pretty important to them. It makes them reflect on their lives and find something missing. If they were secure in the fullness of their lives, they would be happy that you’re satisfied and they’re satisfied and just get on with life. You don’t stop to stomp on someone’s rose bush unless you’ve got issues.
Some people can be judgy douchebags. I believe it stems from one of three things… 1) a mean, spiteful, negative attitude 2) jealousy 3) ignorance/closemindedness. Don’t let ‘em get you down. Judgemental bitchiness is so 2009. As a fellow nerd I am confident in saying that nerdiness is where it’s at.
Um, Wham? Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go? YES PLEASE!
It’s my 5-year-old’s most favorite song.
Blair, I look forward to your posts all the time. I actually get annoyed when there are lapses in your post. (true story). Ha! I’m working mom and know the gig well, so I understand we all can’t blog everyday. I love your blog and every blog post I enjoy. Keep doing what you are doing, because everyone has a hobby and yours is for sure posting about life, struggles and your gorgeous family.
P.S. we are all nerds. The commenter must have some time herself to pin point people and there blogs/hobbies to dis on them. So what’s the difference.
::fist pump:: Holy mother, thank you so much for saying what is always lurking in the back of my mind.
And my Easter bonnet? Blown completely away.
You make what I do validating every time you accomplish a little more for blogging moms.
Wear it and wear it proud babe. Love it.
Bloggin is better than being a trekkie (or however they spell it) lol jk (sorta) I love blogging!!! It’s given me awesome opportunities and friends.
I took that photo.
It was the same day the three of us attended that photo session at BlogHer where Rachel Devine taught us about the rule of thirds, remember?! I was so proud of myself when the photo came up in the viewfinder, for learning something beautiful that day and for being brave enough to trust my instincts to come to New York and to grow..
At a conference I went to alone, without ever having met another soul before attending, I met friends and fell in love with another world.
And some people just don’t get it.
But. I cannot wait to geek out with you again, my friend.
And I still say running is for criminals.
Love this post!
I’m a nerd.
I’m totally okay with it.
And I’m glad I’m not the only one!
Super-sized. Pink. Puffy. Glittery. Scratch and sniff and it smells like awesome hearts.
You are my favorite nerd.
Word, girl.. Just… word.
great post! there will always be too many critics out there. we should all feel free to do what we love, whether it’s online or outside. i love being recreational and “real life” social but i also love writing and online networking. we can do what we want! it’s OUR life. who has the right to say what things are more productive than others anyway? lame.
Meh. I’ve heard many of the same statements. Mostly from my mom. I love my mom to pieces, but sometimes I just want to tell her to STFU.
Well said, BA.
love this.
i think that much like any new cultural shift, people are afraid of social networks, and immediately want to point out the ways in which it “harms” us or makes our relationships “more superficial.”
my thing is… well, there’s really no stopping it. have you seen a 12 yr old lately?? they are wired. constantly. my little brother could surf the web before he could read. no joke. so while people can be negative, i think it’s MUCH more productive to carve out a little corner of this newest universe, and make sure that you’re represented, and that you have a comfortable place in it.
i’m sure there was a day when the telephone was a scary thing and made conversation different, and somehow “bad.” but we got over it. and found ways to keep relationships meaningful despite the evils of the telephone.
get over it, people.
.
One more nerd, here. And proud of it, too!!
I super red puffy hearts this post. Like, for realz.
I’m a cooker (fan of cooking? foodie?) as well as a geek, and I manage just fine. I am so over mommy guilt.
Stay strong!
Same here!
Nerds who live unproductive and unfullfilling lives unite
Great post BA!
AMEN! Thank you for being the voice for all of us nerds out there!
Love and Hugs,
Erin
Nerd here as well!!! I love reading your blog, I count that as one of my hobbies!!! Keep it up, girl!!!!
Blogging isn’t nerdy! No way. And if it is, then slap it on my forehead.
I felt way too secluded as a new SAHM years ago, when blogging was super new and uncommon. With blogs and other social media, I don’t feel as secluded, yet I am still the best SAHM for my kids! It allows me to be a better mom, wife, and woman.
Good grief blair! You blog and tweet. Like millions of others in this world. lol
Amen!!! I don’t know what I’d do without the online community.
Shout it from the rooftops girl!!! But I also run and bake, is that cool? ;-P
GREAT POST – I love it…I hate judgment just like you’ve described. I love to bake and I enjoy sewing, but the truth is I also need a good dose of my computer most nights. Thanks for being honest and for sharing…amber
If you replaced one hour of internet use with exercise every day, you wouldn’t be overweight. You’d feel better mentally and you’d look better physically. I think it’s healthy to step away from the Internet every once in awhile. I think you’re addicted. The attention gives you a high that you’re not getting from anything in your real life.
Good for you for living by your priorities and no one elses. Try not to let the haters drag you down!
I honestly think this is my favorite post of yours to date!
Now if only my husband would read this and understand! My Mac has recently been banned to the upstairs office
Wow, and it comes Sarah with the slam. Damn dude. WTF.
If everyone replaced one activity in their life with one hour of exercise we wouldn’t be a nation of heart diseased, borderline diabetic, obese folk…
No need to preach to someone about what they should be doing… if Blair never opened up ON HERE about being chubby, I’d have never (or at least not for a long long time) owned up to my own chubbiness and in turn never would have lost 30 pounds!
WTF, where did my comment go?!
Anywho.
Lord knows I don’t take anyone’s assponions seriously if they can’t stand by them with a real email address. I’m looking at you Sarah, aka “no@nonono.ca.”
A few years ago I watched a documentary called King of Kong, about the people who play for the title of Chamion of Donkey Kong (as in, the arcade game). At first I thought, “geekist thing EVER,” but I came out of it realizing that everybody has their thing. For some people it’s Donkey Kong. For others, it’s knitting, or blogging, or dancing. I may find Donkey Kong super-geeky. But for those guys, it was their passion and it filled their lives with happiness and worth. And who am I to judge? I think of that movie now everytime I feel myself being judgmental and it reminds me to stop.
So far the consensus on here seems to be that people who snap to those judgements are jealous or somehow bitter/unfulfilled. There seem to be a lot of posts floating around this week about judgemental people. Katherine Stone did one…so did Jenny. And there were quite a few in response to that NYT post/article. It makes me really curious about the psychological and cultural basis for judgemental people and behaviors…and all this recent blog-attacking.
Anywho… if what you’re doing makes you happy and isn’t hurting anyone. Do it. And you do it well. =)
I feel the SAME way!
the definition of productive is “producing something” right? so… how is producing written word not productive? you know what’s not productive? criticizing people. and watching craploads of reality tv every. single. night. and even reading writing that someone ELSE produced – even if it’s a masterpiece. (though both of those last two things can sure be enjoyable…)
so to whoever said that, I’d like to say: stuff it. and buy a dictionary. sheesh.
Amen, sister! Says the fellow nerd.
I agree! I feel the same way about my TV addiction
I have decided I’m no longer going to feel guilty about enjoying my shows when I get home from a long day at work… it’s not “wasting time,” it’s my way to unwind, take a break and specifically NOT be productive. Sure, I could read a book. And sometimes I do. But you know what? I just really love TV 
I hate that people are such haters! I run every other day (or some more than that even) but find that my relationships with other women who write online is quite possibly one of the most wonderful moments in my day. The love that is shared on my blog AND that I get to share on other blogs makes me so delighted even on hard days!