Okay, fellow mommas. How many of you have swiped the butt paste?
Come on. I KNOW YOU HAVE.
(oh. you haven’t? It’s just me? I’m the weirdo? okay, then.)
I don’t know what’s going on with my butt lately, but I think it’s my thong the fact that my ass has grown so large definitely my thong. You know that upper part of your butt cheek region above your tailbone? It was just…uncomfy. & I figured if Aveeno can work magic under a diaper, then surely it can help under a pair of Jockeys.
I hop out of the shower as Nate hops in & I ask, “Are we going to have sex tonight?” I’m pretty matter-of-fact about it & Nate’s like, “Uhh, sure. It’s Valentine’s Day. Why?”
I take a deep sigh & wave goodbye to romance as it sails out the window. “Because,” I explain slowly. “I need to know whether I should put on the butt paste now, or wait until later if we’re going to do it.”
silence.
more silence.
deafening silence.
“This is the difference between marriage & dating,” Nate finally says from behind the shower curtain. “Butt paste.” I nod miserably in agreement.














