Sometimes I think about Mary.
At night, when I’m rocking my little boy to sleep & tapping his nose gently, I think about the hopes & dreams I hold for Harrison. The things I would love to see him accomplish in life.
Marriage. Education. Children of his own. Success. Happiness.
An empathetic & kind heart. A sense of humor that allows him to laugh with himself, at himself, & to make others share in the mirth. Love of God & family & country & feel a fierce loyalty to all three. To love wholly & fully without conditions or reservations. An appreciation for good beer.
At this time of year, I think back to Mary. I wonder if she rocked Jesus in the dark of the stable & thought the same things. She really wasn’t that different from all of us, I think.
She felt the pain & frustration & relief & exultation that is birth. I bet she cried when they threw Jesus on her chest, squalling & red-faced. I try to imagine her pacing at 3am, gently “shhhing” & bouncing even before Dr. Harvey Karp’s Five S’s. & I like to think that she was madly in love with Joseph because honestly, why else would God have entrusted them to raise His son?
Most of all, I wonder about her heart in those moments of rocking her son.
She must have had similar dreams as she watched her boy grow. She must have longed for success & marriage & grandchildren. I wonder if she prayed over his heart for kindness & love, but unlike me, felt silly about it because it’s the Son of God she’s praying for & that seems kind of awkward, right? I wonder what she felt when he took his first steps – joy that those steps were opening worlds of possibilities like every other child. But this child, her child, was different. I wonder if in that moment, she considered that each step brought him closer to the cross.
I wonder if it broke her heart on a daily basis the way I know it would break mine. Or if she simply accepted it as her task & own cross to carry.
My daughter just turned 1 yesterday. Last Christmas was the first time I watched the Nativity movie. Oh my, I cried the entire time Mary was birthing Jesus. And yes, I still think that if Mary did it, then so can I. It really helps to calm me down in moments of baby stress!
Merry Christmas!
I think you’re right. Mary wasn’t that different from us but I don’t think she realized that her son was walking towards a cross. I don’t think she fully understood the burden he would carry. After all she (and all of Israel) was expecting a King, a savior, a victor in the face of oppression. Little did she know that his purpose would be to teach us, to guide us, to die for us that we might have life. Perhaps it’s better that she didn’t know. In not knowing, she could have those dreams and expectations for her son. She could love without fear and be bold in her vision for his future.
… I know Mary was/is accepting of all that was placed before her… but there is no doubt her heart broke at the thought of any pain coming to her son.
I wonder if his first shoes were sandals.
I’m sorry. I had to. I’m not religious. LOL
I just want to add – Merry Christmas to you and your family. I hope your celebrations are filled with joy and may the New Year be filled with many blessings to you all.
Ahh. I love this. So precious. Merry Christmas BA!
I am not a “Jesus” person but I do believe in God. Please dont hate me for saying that. Me and my faith have seriously faltered over many shitty circumstances that made me question the validity of my religion and the stories that come along with it. Don’t hate me for saying that… What this has anything to do with anything…I have no idea but from reading this post I do wonder if I knew what was in store for my son. What his life will be like when he gets older. That’s the beauty of being a parent…we get to enjoy the ride with them.
Mother Mary had a lot on her plate.
Beautifully written. I’m sure most people don’t stop to think of such things, I know I don’t. There is almost always a story behind another story… the extraordinary parents who raised the Son of God. Another reason to be thankful and feel blessed and revel at the wonderment that is motherhood.
Merry Christmas to you and your family, BA
PS. This was very beautifully written. I hope you and your family enjoy your Christmas
PPS. I wish that my faith in the true meaning behind Christmas was strong like yours.
Babies are like a blank slate. They can be anything, do anything. It’s a beautiful thought
Merry Christmas!
Beautiful!
This is a beautiful and well written post. I love it
Beautiful Post. And gorgeous photo, did you take that? PW is having a Bokeh photo contest and you must enter this photo if you took it. Lovely Bokeh, I wish I could master this skill!
The simple things stay the same. Hard to believe that so many years ago she did what we are doing right now (and scholars believe she was only 14 years old at the time she did it!). It’s the bond that all of us mother’s have. We’ve been there, done that and we understand.
Merry Christmas!
Blair, this is one of my favourite posts you have written (since I started reading).
Merry Christmas!
Maija
I think about this all the time, too. When I’m having a particularly bad day, I wear my Mary pendant necklace. For me, it helps to know that others have faced the same challenges I do as a mother, and that one mother faced challenges that no mother ever should – and she maintained her strength, her hope, and her faith in the face of it all.
Merry Christmas to you and yours, from me and mine.
I think she knew. If not at first, when Simeon told her in the temple that “This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. **And a sword will pierce your own soul too**”, she had to know something. Then again, it could have just been one more thing she “pondered in her heart”.
I can’t imagine what Mary went through as a mother knowing certain things about her son that I’m not sure I would want to know. I don’t think she was different from us in our wonderings and prayings and hopes and dreams for our children.
We all do the best we can with what we are given and hope its enough to give them the best chance anyone could give.
Merry Christmas BA. I hope you find your moments of peace and quiet and family that you (and the rest of us) are lookingfor this holiday.
I’ve been thinking the same thing and it breaks my heart too. This was beautifully written.
I also wanted to comment on your previous post. Just in case you still needed an idea for your husband, I bought mine a Kodak Pulse. It is a new digital picture frame (BUT NOT JUST ANY FRAME, KEEP READING!) that you can email photos to (you set it up with a free email account) and it will automatically add the photos to the frame. You can also link it to your Facebook account and it will pull all new photos from there and upload them automatically. He won’t even have to “check” for new pictures. I love it so much, I bought one for my mother and grandparents too!
Lovely post, dear. I have thought of Mary often, throughout my eight years are a parent. Honestly, She is one of the many, many reasons I love being Catholic – all the praise and glory they give to her.
It’s hard to think that Jesus cried through the night, fussed and needed his diaper changed, for some reason. But, I am sure he did.
Merry Christmas, love.
Oh Blair I love this post. I’m forwarding to my other momma friends that have littles running around. Reading this helps bring the focus back to the “reason” for this season and how special each and every one of us mothers are. We were all given the miraculous gift of a child who can grow into anything. Happy Holidays!
One of the most beautiful blog posts ever written. Merry Christmas!
this Mary, does she have a blog?
Merry Christmas to you and yours! Thank you for being you… you’re such an inspiration!
i have every intention of posting my thoughts on mary tomorrow.
oh mary mary. i think about her too.
I LOVE this post.. This is what we should be thinking about at times like this.. forget presents. Thanks for reminding us Blair
Oh, BA. This post is the first thing that has made me teary since I found out I’m expecting. Although my wee babe is still in the womb, I could not imagine what my Mary went through. Thanks so much for writing such a heartfelt post. <3
This so resonates with me. I think about her giving birth on the cold floor of a dirty stable afraid and in pain and shouldering an unimaginable responsibility. When I feel overwhelmed thinking about that helps to put my own (blessed, cushy) life into perspective. I choke up every time I hear the song “Mary Did You Know?”.
My mom gave me the new Point of Grace Christmas CD this year. I popped it in before work one day last week and when the song “Labor of Love” came on, I literally cried all the way to work. Beautiful, heartbreaking, and so honest. Merry Christmas, to you and your family! I hope its everything you want it to be.
I love this. Thanks for posting. =] Merry Christmas!
Love this post Blair. Also wanted to comment on the previous post. The quote from Ann about Christmas becoming a burden when our focus is on the worng thing…it just spoke volumes to me. I was having a rough day yesterday and reading that helped me put things into perspective. SO much to be thankful for and I need to focus on that instead of that which brings me down. Thank you for sharing. I loved it so much, it is my current FB status. Just wanted to share the encouragement with my friends. Have a Merry Christmas!
Beautiful post! And I took almost the exact same picture last night!
Blair, I love this. Honestly, I never really think about Mary when I think about Jesus. Pretty sure that will change from now on. I hope you & Nate & Harrison have a beautiful Christmas.
<3
Well, if we’re talking about Mary in the context of her time, her ‘dreams’ for her children would be very different from what we would imagine for ours. I don’t think success as we define it is necessarily something a Jew would be thinking about during Roman rule. It was a pretty serious time with a lot of limitations.
Sorry to be all nerdy on you. I can’t help it, lol.
I really enjoyed this post. I’ve been following you for a couple months now and I love when you speak of your faith. It is always genuine and beautiful
P.s. Bonzer I seriously hate when you comment. If you aren’t religious fine, but there is no need to mock.
So beautifully written! Had tears in my eyes. Thank you for the thoughtful post, it was well recieved by this heart!
What a beautiful post! It brought me to tears and I truly appreciate being reminded what Christmas is all about. Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Bonzer….not cool to mock someone’s religious views.
I’m admittedly not religious, but I thought your post was beautiful. Wishing you and your family (especially beautiful Harrison) a very Merry Christmas!
Girl. Last year at the Christmas Eve service, I had to leave the church because I was BAWLING. I couldn’t even listen to the story without wanting to just curl up in a ball around Mary and her baby and tell Mary it was going to be okay.
And also? I have the Willow Tree Nativity. I loves it a lot. A lot a lot.
This was beatufiul. Such an amazing way to look at the Nativity Story. I am Roman Catholic by birth and upbringing and accpet many things just becasue “they said so” and therefore have not ever thought about Mary as a “mother” a woman like me who was scared and feeling all the things that new mom’s feel.
This was very powerful.
Thank you for your beautifully written insight.
Merry Christmas!
This post is beautiful. I thought often of Mary this year as I rocked my sweet girl before bedtime.
Wow. Never posted a comment but this is simply beautiful Blair. Gorgeous sentiment. Brought tears to my eyes.