I just want y’all to know that I started writing this over 5 days ago. FIVE DAYS, people. & it’s taken me this long to get it published.
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Seven months.
I’d say that’s how long it took me to get comfy with this whole “working mom” thing.
Actually, I’m totally bullshitting you. Because I’m nine ten months into it & I still have no idea what the hell I’m doing, so it makes me chuckle all the way down through my belly to see y’all say thing about how I seem to keep it all together. Because OBVIOUSLY NOT. You just don’t know the number of times I’ve thrown a frozen pizza in the oven & yelled ” I QUIT THIS DAY!” into the dark oblivion that is our neighborhood after 7pm.
But I will say that I’m getting into the swing of it. I have found a rhythm. I rarely have complete mental breakdowns over the daunting number of tasks at hand, or the guilt that I only see my kid roughly two hours every weekday. I am getting more things accomplished at work & training for a 5K. & believe it or not, I’m still doing it without a housekeeper.
(I’m not pointing that out to brag. I’m pointing that out as proof that obviously, something’s still not right in my brain. Because everyone should have a housekeeper.)
Most days, I am rocking it the best I can. Some days, that still falls short.
But sometimes, I’m totally stuck. Because the world’s of mother & employee collide in a cataclysmic way that is like oil & water. & then I’m stuck deciding. & 99.9% of the time, I feel like I can’t even hug it out, much less write it out, because I kind of like my job & financial stability & have no desire to follow in Dooce’s footsteps with job loss &/or weird haircut. & then I’m like, DAMN IT ALL TO HELL, will somebody please write about this so I don’t have to? I like to pass the buck, especially when I’m crunched for time because OH MY GOD, my work load exploded about two weeks ago.
Long story short, there have been some shifts in the work place. I am eternally pessimistic optimistic about it all. & I have also been working my cute little tail off to the point that when I get home, I exhaust myself into a puddle on the couch where I drool & mumble at Tyra Banks on Wednesday nights & I’m all, “SHUT UP, SMIZE IS NOT A WORD.” But if the kid is bathed by the end of the day & happily snoozing in his crib, we’re calling it a success. Unfortunately, that doesn’t leave a large window of mental ability left for blogging & considering that I’ve been working the majority of my Saturdays as of late, my little trick of pre-writing & scheduling posts over my weekend cup of coffee has flown out the window. Hence the zero posts or Jockey winners yet.
While I am always happy to accommodate my clients, working on Saturdays just isn’t cutting it for me. The first weekend, I was blitzkrieged by a client wanting to be seen on a Saturday, short notice. Nate was already scheduled to be out of town for work, my parents were also traveling, Sister was working her weekend job, & every single one of Harry’s playmates already had plans. I had zero childcare but a client that needed to be seen for high-dollar contracts. I was stuck. I couldn’t leave Harrison. But I also could not bring him. I couldn’t say no to my client. Especially in this economy if I like my job. But I did not have any other choice.
Family versus Career. The epic battle of doom.
So I explained the situation to my boss. Begged for his understanding. In the end, I stayed home with Harrison & busted ass the following Monday to make sure all the i’s were dotted from Saturdays meeting without me. & then two weekends later, I found myself in the exact same predicament.
& this time, I had to say “yes.”
Thankfully, my sister’s weekend job did not need her assistance & she (bless her heart!) took Harrison for me & $20. This past weekend, Nate was home so we did not have to scrounge. I was thankful for those small bits of grace, but also spent the past two weekends with a heavy heart of everything I missed.
So you see, I’ve been pulled in a million different directions over the past few weeks. & the question that keeps pounding through my head – how much can we working moms do? When do we get to say UNCLE when we have responsibility to two different, powerful entities in our lives?? Where do we place our priorities when they feel like they constantly shift? In this economy, how do we place boundaries when everything feels unstable? Because I need my job & owe my employer my best but I also don’t want Harrison to be lying on a therapist’s couch in 16 years, sobbing that Mommy never made him hot pancakes for Saturday lunch because she was too busy in her black business suit. Yet sometimes, by saying “yes” to my employer, I am saying “yes” to Harrison & his future & the roof over his head.
Give me another 10 months & I might have the answers.
Or at least be able to cook something other than frozen pizza.
what frozen pizza isn’t normal? I hate to admit how many times I cook something frozen or run to subway. But honestly dinner is the easiest thing to give, that and cleaning. I have to remind myself that even if the little things I have energy for at the end of the day are just drops in the bucket, they are at least in the bucket. But, at the end of the day, or even the week, if my kids are happy and my house is a disaster, I feel like I have at least acomplished something.
I’m so sorry that you are feeling that way. I feel your pain and want you to know that you are not the only working mom who feels like they haven’t fully figured it out.
Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.
I don’t ever get called in on a Sunday, but my husband is gone 50-60% of the time for work, usually 10 days at a time. So often I feel like I’m absolutely drowning in work, housework, Hunter’s activities. Sometimes I feel empowered by it because I can do it, sometimes I get resentful towards my husband for having to do it alone so much, and part of me wonders why I feel a need to take on the world by keeping a perfectly clean house, taking Hunter to The Little Gym, and making dinner everynight.
Screw it! I’d take a frozen pizza over anything right now. Good for you for knowing your boundaries and when to throw it in the oven, I haven’t quite gotten that far yet. So in some ways you have figured it out much better than I.
Thanks for writing this post!
there is nothing wrong with frozen pizza… get the supreme and it even has veggies on it!
but really – i do understand.
i’m in a similar place… and wrote it out in my own words recently… check out the link i posted with my name for that post, if you’re interested in my take on it… being a successful woman in 2010 is a CONFLICT OF INTEREST i tell you! seriously… seriously… how can we do it all? i’m not trying to whine, although i did a little.
i never would have guessed that i personally wanted to be home with my kid… i always thought i was the working gal type.
there’s no guidelines on all of this… and i guess i’m glad i’m not feeling this alone… but for some reason it might make me feel worse that you are feeling pulled so drastically in polar directions, too!
I can’t count the number of days we eat frozen pizza for dinner and laundry isn’t folded and my house looks like a tornado went through it.
And I stay home. At least you have a valid reason! You are totally doing a kick ass job. Between the long commute, hours stuck in rush hour, picking up Harrison and dealing with work CFs, it is impossible to do it all. You are doing great and never forget it.
it’s a constant adjustment period, I don’t think working mom’s can ever really feel like they are giving their career and their children all of the attention they need. There’s days where it all clicks then days where the world feels like it’s crashing down around you (at least that’s how I feel)
Hey, at least your kid has frozen pizza sometimes I’m so busy trying to do a million things when i get home that I turn around and my daughter has a mouthful of cat food, can’t tell ya how many times i’ve had to get that out of her mouth
Uhmm frozen pizza on a weekday just makes you the best mommy on the planet. Sounds like you’re doing great! I have a father who was a CPA/General Manager/Member of Parliament/Entrepreneur while I was growing up (and still is) and while I remember him working like crazy I also remember him taking me to piano lessons and helping me do my math homework and taking me on fabulous family vacations. In the end, he’s my role model and someone I want to replicate. Don’t ever take minimize the fact that hard working parents with great work ethic produce hard working children with great work ethic and there’s NOTHING wrong with that.
You’re doing a great job! Truly. And I get that there are scenarios where working moms are just plain “stuck,” like the scenario you describe in this post. It seems very clear that you’re handling all of these difficulties with grace and doing the very best job you possibly can. But I have to say…culturally, I am really tired of hearing about the “struggle of the working mom.” Why do all these logistical problems fall on just your shoulders? It seems so unbalanced that this is a problem for just working mothers; what about working fathers? (After all, virtually ALL fathers are “working fathers,” no?) Why do we never hear about men who are just beside themselves trying to meet the demands of both work and family?
I know you’re just telling your personal story and as such, you’re simply speaking from your perspective as a mother. But…I dunno; I just don’t see why this struggle is not an all-around PARENTING issue instead of it always being presented as just a mother’s issue.
You’re doing what you need to be doing — that’s what is important. You’re not lazing around, not contributing. You’re providing for your family. And you do enjoy it. If you totally hated it and were able to change the situation, that would be different. But at the end of the day, (a normal one) aren’t you truly glad for what you’ve accomplished? And really? If Harrison is on the couch because you’re a successful working mom, then my kids are going to be on the couch because I’m a successful stay at home mom. Six of one, half dozen of the other!
Let’s see:
frozen pizza? check
dirty living room? check
second day of pajamas? check
running errands during my lunch break so I can spend the precious 3 hours after work that my kid is awake WITH HIM? check.
Being a working mom is hard. HARD. I hate that I spend more time some days on my commute than I do with my son. I hate that I don’t have time to be the “super mom” I want to be. But I was raised by a working mom–and a damn good one. She raised me knowing the value of work, and a dollar, and responsibility. And I can promise you, I never ONCE questioned whether or how much she loved me. She had to make choices, hard ones, but I never, ever, doubted her love and devotion to me. She couldn’t do it all, but what she did do she did amazingly. I strive to be the working mom she was, one that was busy, one that had to sacrifice a clean house for time together, but who I knew always always would be there for me.
Just like you’ll be for Harrison.
Oh hon, this is a tough one. I only and very thankfully only work part time and even that makes me want to pull my hair out.
My BF works for GM and she recently had to cut back her hours because the thought of a nanny taking care of her 6 month old was depressing.
I don’t really know what to say to you other than Harrison knows that you are awesome and he loves you to pieces. Whether you work or not, he loves you and you love him with all of your heart and that? That is what matters.
I don’t know how else to start this comment other than to say, I feel you, Blair. I work 25 hours per week now (4 days), and it is brutal. I’ve got my newly-turned one-year-old and a second muffin in the oven now, and I have been brewing with frustration regarding my employment. I have been wanting to blog about it so badly. but like you, treading that line between appropriate, honest, relevant, and not getting fired is a hard one. I will say that my boss actually tried to get me to ask to work less last week when I was at a point of vulnerability (I had taken my son to the ER the day before instead of coming to work, and this you know, made me unreliable. Because ER visits happen often, right??). It’s hard, and more power to you for working a full 40 hours. You’re doing an awesome job. I’ve been so lazy with my morning sickness that I am not even the one sticking the frozen pizza in the oven lately!!
Blair I hope this comes off right, I know it won’t, but I’m going to try.
The problem isn’t your struggle to juggle, it’s your animosity towards working.
Because you’ve gone away for Blog-her and Pioneer whatever, and girls nights or sleepovers and not shared with us this guilt about missing time with Harrison. It’s only when you are doing your job that you are resentful of the time missed with him, but when you are doing ” you” things you either 1. don’t have those feelings or 2. don’t share them.
See me? I struggle to even go get my hair done for 3 hours without missing my kids or feeling guilty, let alone a 3 day weekend 5 states away with total strangers for a convention about how to blog! So I think you maybe need to evaluate your job, and why it’s making you so unhappy.. without the harrison factor as your excuse.
No, it came across perfectly
Honey. You know that I feel your pain. It is a struggle of EPIC proportions. Like George Lucas should totally (hire a writer and) start a new trilogy. But the good news is? We’re all in it together… mapping out a future plan that our daughters and their daughters can follow.
And at least that’s something, right? Even if in the present, we feel like we’re failing at TWO careers.
can someone explain the “dooce” reference, is this a bump thing?
“doocing” refers to getting fired due to your personal blog. It’s a reference to Heather Armstrong, or Dooce.com
When I was growing up, I never in a million years thought I’d be a working parent. My mom stayed home, and so did almost every other mom I knew. And my mom and grandmother were super judgemental of moms who worked.
However, once I got into my career, I enjoyed providing for myself (and once I got married, my husband), and I actually really liked my job. And now I’m married to a man whose job will likely never pay more than mine.
So, my reality is that I’m a breadwinning working parent who commutes from the Baltimore suburbs to Washington DC every day, which means that 3, sometimes 4, hours each day are spent commuting. I leave the house before my daughter even wakes up so I can be home in enough time to pick her up before daycare closes so I can, you know, actually get to know the people who care for her during the day, as well as the parents of the other kids and the other kids themselves. Then I’m home with her for a max of 2 hours before she goes to sleep. It’s my reality, and after 8 months of it, I’m more than halfway to being okay with it.
2 out of 5 days of the week it sucks. But my kid is happy, healthy, well-cared for, and she’ll be just fine, because this is her reality and all of her needs are met. It takes a village to raise a child, not just the mom.
okay, one more comment. I had a SAHM my whole childhood, and I kind of resent her for it…
I think harrison someday will appreciate the sacrifices you’ve made to keep your family alive and thriving
If you were on the other side of the fence, you’d be going just as crazy wishing you could have some semblance of an adult life with adult conversations. I think part of it is the “grass is greener” epidemic.
Maybe you could cut back to part time? Is that not a feasible option? I don’t know, Like you didn’t already weigh all your options DUH, I am just saying it as the unbiased 3rd party thinking I’ve found the answer to your woes. LOL!
You’re cracking me up tonight!
Unfortch, part-time isn’t going to work out right now. Maybe in a few years a slot will open up for it but until then, 40 hours per week!
I feel your pain, it sucks. What makes it worse is that I don’t want to be a working mom. Unfortunately, I don’t have a choice right now. It’s hard to act like I care at work when I would really give anything to stay home with the little one. I hope things settle down. I feel that it’s a lot easier logistically than it is emotionally to juggle both jobs. Hang in there!
If we were closer you would be getting a much needed massage from me!
You are making MY head spin!
I was in the same battle. I am now a SAHM and we still eat frozen pizza. LOL It was a hard choice to make. But growing up my mom worked massive and by massive she was never home. I want M to grow up with all those mommy fun memories. As corny as it sounds make a pro and cons list and keep it around for a few months and see what size starts to grow more. I do miss my job tons but at the same time being home everyday with my little lady makes up for it in more ways then 1.
I haven’t been through it but I’m already freaking out about it and my kid hasn’t even hit the ground yet. It’s something some of HAVE to do and if you can get even close to balancing it then you have achieved something great. Don’t sweat the small things like frozen pizza or an occasional few weeks/busy season of saturday mornings. You have quality time together, quality child care, supporting family, and vacations. Harrison loves you. That’s all that matters.
Here is an idea for dinners- I bust my butt cooking one weekend and freeze everything and then I have 2-3 months of meals stocked in my freezer. I don’t have a big deep freeze just the regular thing. I make all sorts of stuff and I just pop something out in the morning or the night before to thaw and then pop it in the oven while I feed the baby. We can even have company over and it seems like I have a fresh meal ready after a long day at the office. That and the twice a month cleaning lady have saved my sanity since I went back to work in August.
Good luck finding your way.
I don’t know how you do it. No idea. Because the thought of ever having to go back to work, even part time, terrifies me. I am totally fried by the end of my day. I can’t fathom trying to fit in work and baby and husband and me and cleaning and cooking and…
And seriously? If I could have a housekeeper – I’d have one and one on call.
I started reading this and was cracking up. Why, you ask? Because tonight in our household, I raced in at 6pm with Tylenol for the little guy and yes a FROZEN PIZZA (Home Run Inn in case you were wondering) for my husband and I. We did the bath, bottle and bed and I laid on the family floor as my husband was cutting the pizza and stated “I QUIT TODAY” because it was just one of those days.
Hang in there mama! We all have those days. It makes you human!
Uh, I am home and frozen pizza is a staple for dinner for us! And I only have one (roughly Harrison’s age!) and he goes to Mother’s Morning Out twice a week for a few hours! You would THINK I would have time, and alas…
I do have a housekeeper and I highly suggest everyone get one of those at least once a month. Especially if you work! I don’t know how you would do it – or why you would want to!
unfortunately the battle between motherhood and career will always loom over our heads as women…I am one of those women on the other side of the coin. While I am so grateful that I get to stay home with my son, I miss having something for myself and I often long to get back into the nursing field. Most times I feel guilty about wanting to work, and sometimes I wonder why on earth I would want to bust my butt at a job that is nothing but stress and long hours. Just know that by you doing the best job that you can, both as a career woman and a mother, you are setting an example for your son. He will always love you even if you see him only for 2 hours each day and he will grow up having you as a wonderful role model. I truly believe that Harrison will grow up appreciative and extremely proud of what his mommy is doing and sacrificing for him
Sadly I don’t have any advice..and hopefully you don’t take this the wrong way, but reading this made me feel better about my days of Pizza. I think that working moms can feel really alone in their decision, that hearing others are having a hard time, and using Pizza for dinner is reassuring
Something about this really touched me – I think the part where you mentioned your struggle with only getting to spend a mere two hours with your son on workdays.
That’s me too, and I know that right now, its the right choice and the only choice we have. And I know my boy’s not suffering for it, but I do miss him. And I feel guilty on the days I’m anxious for him to go to bed, so I can get his lunch and diaper bag packed so I can spend a little time to myself before heading to bed and starting all over again.
Thanks for sharing.
amber
I don’t understand the argument about missing your son during work, but not missing him on your fun outings. It’s because that is fun, work is not. There’s a reason why we get paid to do it. Also, you don’t go to Blogher 6 days a week every week. If you did, you’d resent that , too.
You’re in a work surge. They suck. And when I’m in one, I can’t think big picture with the ebbs and flows of work load. I just know that my current reality blows and work is consuming way more of my identity than I ever want it to. I have that constant love/hate battle. Love that I have a great secure job, hate how much of me it consumes.
I am 3.5 years into the working mom thing, now with 2 bambinos and have smooth sailing days and probably more not-so smooth days than I care to admit. We eat frozen pizza more often than we used to, but that is now just part of life. The key for me was to stop trying to be perfect – the perfect employee, the perfect mom, the perfect wife – and just be the best mom, wife and employee I could be, and in that order.
Like I said, we have days where we rush out of the house only to find out at school, we forgot something or I roll into work a little later than I would like. But the end of the day, I get to come home to my awesome family and sit down and eat frozen pizza with them ~ and that makes it worth it.
Good luck finding your balance.
It sure is hard to balance work and family. I work 1-2 days a week, but they are usually 12 hours shifts. Most of the time they continue to call everyday and pressure me to work. But I know I can’t get sucked in. In fact, I’d rather sell my house and rent again than have to go back full time with the pressure. I know that doesn’t work for everyone.
I have held the hand of many an elderly patient, women and men. I have yet to meet one that has said “Work hard, or give your career your all. Or, I wish I had spent more time trying to please some self serving boss. Or I wish I made more money so I could have more stuff”
But almost all will say, “Spend time with your kids while their young, it’s gone in a blink of an eye.” or “Remember your job won’t take care of you when your sick, tell you it loves you, or anything else. So spend time with your family”
I know this isn’t what people like to here. That someday all of the work we put in our careers might amount to nothing more than money, or a gold star.
But I really do believe it will matter that you took the time to have pancakes with your kid. That he knows you’ll say no to
work and yes to him. That you cared.
If you only get two hours a day with him, and weekends, I would make the most of that time, and spend every minute soaking it up. Cause the rest, is details. Ask anyone who loses their job d/t downsizing, costcutting etc.
They realize they haven’t made an investment in their future at all. Your kids, are the future. And they will take you no matter what your financial status or resume says.
And also, they don’t care if you cook gourmet. Only that you ate the meal together.
I dunno, it is super hard. I totally reached my breaking point last month. I was missing Elle so much it I was starting to get depressed, like really. Like I stopped even trying at work and stopped caring as much at home because I felt like I could not do both right so why try at all. My husband showed up at work, on my lunch hour and told me money be damned, something needed to change.
So I gathered up all my cojones the next morning and went into to ask my boss for part time. Ok. I was shaking and I got hives and I almost peed and I may have pooped 7 times before I went into her office. See, there was a girl who gave an ultimatum two months before me, part time or she quits. She quit. So I knew they would not give it to me. I practiced my speech, covered my hive arms and did it. And they said yes. It was the last thing I expected.
So now I am working 6-10am Mon-Fri and I works great. Best of both worlds as they say. Bottom line: this response I am writing is not helpful AT ALL. But I just could not do both (working and mothering) well. I was a falling apart at the seams. But I realized that it was going to be ok. And it is. Money is tighter, but we make it work. I get all afternoon with my girl and mornings with my friends. I heard this silly line in a commercial but I LURVE it: Your life is the sum total of your choices. Makes so much sense.
So if you really want something different- work toward it, even if is is scary, you will find your balance. Whether is it finding peace in working full time, or actively pursuing other interests, just make sure you are making choices that will sum up to the life you want and the life you want to remember.
Sorry I am not more helpful. But I feel you.
hooker woman: CALL ME WHEN YOU NEED HELP! i live 2.5 seconds away. for serious.
I quit my full time gig after I had Jack and now SAH most of the time and bartend part time. Even though I fortunately get to spend more time with him, I still struggle daily with all the “what ifs?” and wondering if I made the right decision. I miss my full time job some days, as a matter or fact I had a small identity crisis the first few months after I quit, but I’ve come to the realization that short of winning the lottery there is no ideal situation. The whole SAHM vs Working Mom is a classic case of the ‘grass is greener’ epidemic. I think you just need to accept the fact that there will never be a perfect balance. There will be days when one thing will get more attention than the others. And it isn’t always about quanity of time, it’s about quality of time right? If a frozen pizza means that you are less stressed and enjoy more time with your family than it sounds like a great meal to me!
I think the real question is…what kind of frozen pizza are you throwing in the oven? Because there is a big difference between throwning in a cheap Totino’s party pizza and making a Digornio stuffed crust pizza. BIG DIFFERENCE. Once it comes out of the oven, one definitely makes it look like you put forth some effort in making dinner.
Oh holy hell, I can relate. I love my job, but I love my family more. Sadly, loving my family means I have to commit to my job so I can help support my family. Happily, I HAVE a job so I can help support my family.
It’s hard, especially when you have a boss with high expectations and/or you yourself have high expectations. But we only do what we can. That Saturday away sucks and is rough, and you don’t WANT to say no to either work or baby, but it has to be done sometimes. Your son will grow up knowing he is loved. He won’t remember the one or three Saturdays you had to work so you could help build a future for him.
Believe me, though…I can say that to myself 1000 times a day, and still once every 2-3 months I have a mini-life crisis and want to quit and just hope it works itself out.
You might want to get a job that
1. pays more
2. isn’t mindless
3. doesn’t require you to work from the office 5 days a week
North Carolina has one of the lowest unemployment rates in the US. Get out there and look for something new.
This is a tough situation. I was in my first year of law practice when my daughter was born. I lasted all of 2 months after my maternity leave ended before I quit. I was miserable working from before she woke in the morning until after she’d already gone to bed at night, and then typing briefs at home all weekend. I was missing everything. So, I quit. Now, despite the fact that I still work 40 hours a week doing non-legal work, we have very, very little money… and a lot of student loan debt. But, I never work more than that standard 40 hours. And I was there the first time she rolled over, the first time she clapped her hands, the first time she said “uh-oh!”, and the first time she walked across the living-room floor.
Although I would never trade those moments, the financial aspects of my decision still keep me up at night worrying that I traded my happiness for hers.
So, yeah – this is a tough, tough situation. I guess all we can do is our best & hope that we’ve properly weighed the risks & benefits – and most of all, just love every moment we’re blessed to have with our babies.
I don’t necessarily love my job but I would never quit it either. {Well not in the near future at least}. And I hate how rushed our evenings and weekends are with H. But I don’t know how happy I’d be in any other circumstance. I like working and feeling like I am making a difference in other people’s lives. And I’m not even going to compare that to making a difference in my daughter’s life, because I do what I do for our family.
Frozen pizzas, take out, dirty dishes… we got em. Weeks where I only have 1 or 2 blog posts – got those too. Family and work come first. B/c obviously, your job does matter – financially and to you as a person.
I don’t think being a working mom will ever be easy (or a sahm). There will always be something that pulls us away from our little ones. And we do the best we can with it.
Friend, I blogged about not figuring it out yet after nearly eight YEARS. Do NOT be hard on yourself. I have to work late tonight, which means I begged, stole and borrowed child care….it’s normal. I love you.
It sounds like your job doesn’t fit your lifestyle anymore. I would put my foot down and say that I can only work a set schedule because of babysitting.
Maybe work will be understanding…maybe they won’t. Either way, you won’t be stuck working weekends anymore.
I look at my jobs as a “this works for THIS year” kind of thing. At this age, my kids are changing and I have to work around what my MIL can do with the kids. She says she can only handle part-time…so I’m working part-time. Next year Elizabeth will be in half-day Kindergarten and I’ll probably have to find yet another job to fit around that.
I don’t have a “career”. I’m doing mindless office work. But, it’s helping out with the bills and keeping me sane. Enough said.
I just started back to work last week after 6 weeks of maternity leave. It sucks..and I’m only 2 weeks into it. It is good to read stuff like that..makes me realize I am not alone in this working Mom thing since it seems every other Mom out there stays home.
Be still my heart.
You know I’m going on 1 year + in the Working Mom gig and dude I’m not going to lie, some days are a total grab wine, sit with kid, snuggle & eat pizza kind of days. There are others where I feel like super mom aka grab kid, make grocery run IN HEELS & cook & play outside…you know.
Some days are just meant for frozen pizza
You are a rock star.
::HUGS::
I pray for your continued successes and that you’ll find the time you need to do things you want to and love.
Also hoping that you hang in there like a hair in a biscuit.
These are always the posts I relate most to, and just sit here nodding my head with tears in my eyes. I’ve been doing it for over a year, and it’s still hard. I guess it will never get easier? I’m still holding out hope for a job within my co that allows working virtually, so I don’t have 2 hrs of commuting thrown into my day. But every job I post for, I think – will this require me to work later and be more demanding? It makes it hard to leave my comfort-zone I’m in now, even if it means a 2 hr commute.
I’m afraid to advance my career because I think it means less time with my son. and that kills me.
btw – kudos to you for surviving without a housekeeper. I don’t know what I’d do without my once/month cleaners!
You are doing a great job, and I think Harrison will see that when he’s older.
I consider the frozen pizza a national treasure. It should be listed under some sort of protection.
If it makes you feel better…some nights i make Lean Cuisine pizzas in the microwave–not even frozen pizza in the oven!
what’s with all you frozen pizza eaters? Do you not have good pizza or am I just blessed to be a NYer where at any hour you can get this best, steaming hot slice of pizza on earth?
We had frozen pizza on Monday night. With a bagged salad. I call that a successful dinner. Because I freaking work like a mad woman and football season STILL. ISN’T. OVER. And the dishes were minimal. Grrr.
But I feel you, BA. I totally do. It’s hard to love your job but hate your job. I love what I do because I feel like I’m doing good. But I hate what I do because it takes me away from time spent with Joshua.
And I don’t think it’s about looking at my job and what it takes away from my time with Joshua versus looking at the “me” things I do and the time THEY take away from Joshua. Because they aren’t the same things.
When I go out for a night with the girls, or like a couple weeks ago when I went to my HS reunion, I felt energized and rejuvenated after that. I felt like a better mother. Going to work isn’t a “break” from “me.” It’s another part of me that pulls me into yet another direction. Like I’m being drawn and quartered like William Wallace at the end of Braveheart.
So, I get you and your struggles. If you ever need to commiserate over an e-cup of tea and Twitter, or a rousing game of Words with Friends, I’m here.
Just wanted to say that your focus always seems to be on the what’s-for-dinner and how-clean-are-my-floors dilemmas when it comes to these working mom anxiety posts. I, too, work full-time and it ain’t easy for sure but when you are wracking your brain about what to let go of, jeez louise let it be those things!!!!
Working full-time is sometimes not a choice for mommies but I do know that Harrison would much rather have you down on the floor playing with him and chasing him around in those two hours a day and on the weekends than trying to be Martha Stewart all the damn time. Order take out and hire a maid!!!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!
Make your husband cook! Can he not boil water for pasta or, God forbid, make himself a sandwich?
And I do agree with Bonzer on one point… “me time” is so important for sanity, but when you are blogging so much about feeling guilty for being away from Harrison all week, and then blogging about having an awesome girls’ weekend away from him…. does not compute.
Hang in there and try to let go of the guilt b/c that is the first barrier to being a good and happy mom.
Man, I wish I had as many girl weekends as everyone thinks BA has. Sign me up!
Alena, it’s not a bash to BA, but I feel ( this is ME personally as a mom of MY kids, not her kid, not her life) that when life is so busy that you can’t cook a meal, that you are in tears of lost time with your child… that all that “me” time ( and again, I reiterate that we’ve all had almost 30 years at LEAST of ME time, so maybe it’s time to get over it for a year or so and focus on FAMILY) then you give up the me time.. They are only young once and you can’t just quit your job so you can play blocks all day, but you can go on one less weekend away, one less conference for fun, one less rock concert. I do understand some people have a need to escape from their life, their family their job, and unwind… but in BA’s case she already only sees Harrison 2 hours a day and on the weekends, so you’d think the weekends would be a 48-2 Harrison fest…
Again, that’s just MY thoughts. I don’t think mom=martyr, but I do think that ME time isn’t this great necessity that over-rides QT with your family.
i feel ya.
i’m up @ 3:45am & down by 9:30pm.
mon- fri. laaaame.
Seriously, I love you. You take the words right out of my mouth. And I’m not a writer, so THANK YOU for doing the ‘work’. I always appreciate reading your posts, and making me feel those feelings that I’m not able to write out.
Okay, first off major props for 1) mentioning Dooce’s weird hairstyle (I thought I was the only one!) and 2) using the word ” blitzkrieged” in an actual sentence not about The Ramones.
Secondly, you make me feel bad because I don’t have a kid OR a full-time job (unless you count school) and I still have many, many a nights where a Digornio is popped in the oven and I lay in bed crying out of the sheer exhaustion of trying to do it all. It makes me wonder if ANYONE has it figured out. Anyone??
Finally, I wish I lived closer to you because I would totally help out baby sitting since my schedule is usually pretty open.
I hope the next few weeks calm down a little at work for you.
anyone that has figured it all out is not here to say so, because they dropped dead of exhaustion and or a heart attack.
Ok, I’m gonna preface this by saying that I am NOT being judgy or snarky, because I HATE it when people are all, “well I chose my family and obviously that is why I am better than you, blah blah blah.” Pre-pregnancy I had a really high-powered, travel-intensive career, and had every intention of continuing along that path up until my 3rd trimester and after my maternity leave. A bout of bedrest, a bump into the “high-risk” category, and recovery from an emergency c-section blew that all to hell. There came a point where I just had to say, eff it, I am scaling back my career, we are gonna live on less income, and we will make it work. I expected to have a huge identity crisis/breakdown over going from career up-and-comer to part-time-work-from-home mama, not to mention the less money thing. But it never came.
So I say this not to guilt you–and with the full realization that the scaling-back and working-from-home thing is a really lucky break and not an option for everyone–but just to say that there are always multiple paths, and whichever one you choose will be the right one, even if it’s something you never saw yourself doing.
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I hear you on this. Setting boundaries with your employer is tough to do but sometimes it needs to be done. If you’re getting paid for 40 hours, work 40 hours. Get it in writing. Make yourself irreplaceable so it’s not an issue. This is my approach.
I agree with Ginger. My mom was a working mom. And although sometimes she was tired and cranky when she got home after work, she was still my loving mom who I appreciate greatly. She had to sacrifice and work in order to pay the bills. But life was good. I look up to her in so many ways and hope to be half the mom she was.
You will see that you are doing a good job and hey, frozen pizza is d’lish!
Alena, Blair has blogged about at least two weekends away without Harrison since he was born. I (and most moms I know) have had exactly zero weekends away from my baby at almost a year old; I already have very limited time with my daughter and I cherish what I do have. I would miss her if I went away.
Then again, I didn’t have the severe PPD/PPA issues, which I imagine would make you want to escape in a bad way so that’s a different situation that I don’t claim to understand.
Def. nothing wrong with frozen pizza.. or other frozen foods for that matter! Just think of all the extra time you get to spend with your son because dinner was so easy to take care of
So two weekends away in 52 weeks of Harrison’s life makes her some sort of jetsetter who leaves her kid home alone to fend for himself while she’s traveling the world and having the time of her life?
Really??
I side-eye that.
well, der.
Cut yourself some slack. The rest of the world gives us moms crap for what we do, don’t do, want to do, can’t do, think we should do and so on. YOU are YOU and you kick butt at being you. And yes, I say this even though I’ve never met you. Great post, I think you’re doing the best you can at juggling all of this and good for you! (Also, haven’t read the comments – so I’m just responding on my own!)
girl, this shit is hard. and sometimes the choices we make aren’t the ideal. they’re not even the good. they suck. but you do what you have to do. somedays even my finding nemo mantra (just keep swimming just keep swimming) doesn’t work. BUT. somehow we get through. keep your head up. and if you do figure it out let us all in on the secret ok?
oh and I only skimmed the comments but I had to LOL hard at the comments saying: “sounds like you need to find a new job that pays more and has an ideal schedule!!” hahahahaha! if only it were that easy. can you find me one too?
Totally feel you on this one. I’ve been lucky…my job (full-time) is pretty flexible in the summer. No part time or telework options, but easy to take time off. But now I’m gearing up for my busy time at work…80 hour weeks for a bit. And I’m nervous. But we do what we have to do.
Yesterday we picked R up from daycare, and he hadn’t napped well and was rediculously tired. So our short time together in the evening was cut even shorter because he went to bed super early. I was crushed.
I don’t know how to get it all done, other than one day at a time. I do really enjoy my job. But I’m also the primary breadwinner, so not working is not an option. (Oh, and hire some cleaning help…I have a person who just helps out with laundry once a week, and a once over with the vacuum and other surface cleaning, and it is a GOD SEND!!!)
We’re all in this together! (and fyi, the fact that you’ve had a few weekends away from H I don’t think is relevant AT ALL to this conversation).
I think that this idea of “having it figured out” is this weird twisted thing we always strive for, but I’m afraid never exists. So don’t worry about having it figured out. It’s a continual process that’s going to change as you, hubs and Harrison all change and grow. It’s a beautiful process, so soak it in where you can and let the frozen pizza be what it is… nourishment and food at the end of the day. Just what you need at this time of life.
But keep your ears open… and especially your heart to what your surroundings, friends and God are telling you. Maybe this stretch, this weird feeling that “something’s gotta give” is just that… maybe it IS time for something to give. Maybe its time for a shift? A change? Perhaps not… but maybe so. Just be open to what He has for you, and be faithful in whatever you do. It’ll work itself out if you stick to that.
You’re doing beautifully. And Harrison loves his Mommy. End of story.
No snark meant here, but it’s going to sound snarky anyway….
What did you expect? Seriously, this isn’t just for BA it’s for every, “OMG, I’m so overwhelmed with work and being a mom that I just don’t know what to do” reply out there.
Didn’t you know when you got pregnant that you would have to mother your child and work? Did you think that miraculously a day would be 34 hours instead of 24 once you had your baby?
Honestly – Why did any of you have kids at all?
I dont think it’s fair to question why I wanted to be a mother simply because I find it challenging.
Yes, I knew I was going to be a working mother. I knew the logistics of it would be difficult. & like anything, actually living it day-to-day is even more of a challenge. Which is partly why I write – it’s good to know I’m not alone & maybe even help “prepare” someone else even a wee bit.
Plus, the economy has done a doozie on some of us. We have to work longer, harder hours & meet more demands, which can throw off even what we expected work plus motherhood to be.
& because it’s hard to read tone, I wasn’t being nasty in my comment back, Bee. Promise!
If I could answer Mrs. Bee, I expected it to be hard but not this hard. Early on, the combo of pumping, sleep deprivation and leaving on time to get to day care before it closed was brutal. Now a year later, some of that is better but the babe is mobile and I can forget about working from home — I tried it last week and it took me twice as long and my kid almost pushed a stool into the TV.
And even though I work, I still need “me” time to decompress from all of the above. I could use “couple” time, too, w/ hubs but we haven’t figured that out yet.
I also recently had to bring him into work after day care closed, which was so hard. I wound up feeling like a crap mother and crap employee.
You do your best, hire a housekeeper if you can swing it and embrace the dust if you can’t.
In response to Mrs Bee (sorry to hijack your blog Blair)…
I did expect being a working mom to be hard. And don’t mistake any of my comments as complaints…I (don’t think) have ever complained that I have to go to work, feed the baby, run errands, etc. But my mom was a working mom too (actually went to med school while my brother and I were young), and sometimes I do wonder how she did all that she did, because sometimes I struggle.
I think it’s unfair to question “why did you have kids at all.” I knew it would be hard. I love being a mom. But sometimes we have weeks (and months) like Blair has described where work responsibilities crop up. And my child will always come first, but I also made a commitment to my job when I accepted the position, and it’s not fair to my employers (or clients) to not be able to do what the job requires. So it’s a struggle some days. And it’s okay to vent/write about it. That doesn’t mean we don’t want to be moms, or have a job, or that we thought everything would be easy.
But writing/venting about this is no different than venting about having to operate within a tight household budget, needing a new roof, or not being able to find a dress that fits for my brother’s wedding. It’s all just part of life, and I wouldn’t repond to any of those issues with questions like “why did you bother to buy a house” or “why did you RSVP to the wedding” anymore than I would respond to a vent about the struggles of being a working mom with a question like “why did you have kids.”
I’m just curious about something here. Why isn’t you not working an option (I know, kinda personal, maybe you make more money than your hubby). But the work seems to be at the base of every problem you complain about. So quit. You don’t NEED the double income, no one NEEDS two incomes in a family. You just want one so you can keep buying pretty shoes and trendy hair bands, keeping your kid in the coolest clothes, and your hubby with the newest golf clubs. Life is about finding balance, and learning what is most important to you. You say it’s time with your kid, so than spend time with the kid.
I’m seriously howling with laughter at the idea that I work to keep “buying pretty shoes & trendy hair bands, keeping your kid in the coolest clothes, & your hubby with the newest golf clubs.”
That is absolutely NOT why I work. I work so that we have a roof over our heads & food on our table. I work because four years ago when we bought our house, we weren’t considering the economy going in the shit-can by the time we had babies. I work because we are unable to sell our home without taking a huge financial hit in order to move into a one-bedroom apartment in order for me to stay home.
For the record, Harrison is currently wearing a $5 pair of khakis from Old Navy & a onesie I snagged on sale for $2.97 at Gap over a year ago. The pair of shoes I wore today? I’ve owned them for five years. The skirt I’m wearing? A hand-me-down from my mother. & the last new, top of the line clubs Nate got were the night before our wedding as his wedding gift four & a half years ago.
My income does allow us a few nice things on top of our necessities, but that’s not why I work.
“So two weekends away in 52 weeks of Harrison’s life makes her some sort of jetsetter who leaves her kid home alone to fend for himself while she’s traveling the world and having the time of her life?”
Yeah I would side-eye that comment too, ‘cept nobody said that. I wasn’t questioning whether or not her child is being cared for while she is away. Just making the point that having to be away and choosing to be away are two very different things. Why would you feel guilt for one and not the other? Just pointing out the inconsistency there, that’s all.
Sorry, I still find this argument about missing your child while at work but not on a fun weekend away as incredibly dumb. If my fun getaways consumed 5-6 days every week, I would miss my child then, too. Working mothers are entitled to some fun getaways over the span of a year.
This whole post has gotten so carried away with stupidity that I have a headache.
Bee, did you really just ask why did any of us have children? Seriously.
And no one is saying that a mom is entitled to time away from her child> I think the moms saying the comparison makes no sense are the same ones that still haven’t accepted that there is no such thing as ME time in the first few years, but are hell bent not to give up trying so instead end up frustrated at something else, like work or daycare or the distance between home and work… rather than about giving up the me time gig
We had frozen pizza last night. With the overtime at work i’m pulling right now since we are so busy and my day to day domestic duties… Last Night I wanted to scream “uncle” I have a post that I’ve been working on for like 2 months about this. I just keep adding it and then I don’t post it because then I don’t want to sound like a whinney butt head.
Just keep doing the best you can. All in all, my parents hustled when I was younger and I didn’t need to go to a therapist. lol!
TRENDY HAIR BANDS! HAHAHHAHAHAHHAAA…
Yes. Her trendy hair band habit is the reason!
Don’t defend yourself. I have plenty of friends who work – and WANT TO. There is not a perfect solution. I’ve worked and stayed home in the course of my baby’s 1 year of life, and I like the home option BUT – and this is big – I can no longer buy trendy hair bands.
Remember that.
AHHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I just have to respond to this: “no one NEEDS two incomes in a family”
Are you kidding me? Did you really JUST SAY THAT?! How dare you? Honestly. Do you think about the words you are typing?
My husband and I don’t even have children yet and we NEED two incomes to SURVIVE and LIVE and EAT. One income wouldn’t cut it.
I can’t even handle the audacity of this comment.
Blair, I think you’re doing a great job. I know that it gets hard, and when it does get hard, you are allowed to complain. You are a great mother, and Harrison will be just perfect.
Hey Blair,
I usually don’t leave comments, although I’ve been reading your blog since before Harpie, but I feel compelled to just simply give you another perspective to the issue you face. Let me say that this is simply my views and how I’ve chosen to handle it, and I am in NO way saying that is the only way. First, my mom was actually a SAHM, and I can tell you that she will never fully know how much it means to me that she chose to spend her time at home with us children, loving and teaching us to be responsible and caring. I still cherish those days when I could crawl up in her lap for a nap in the afternoons and I owe a lot to her for the kind of person I grew up to be. No, we didn’t have everything, in fact I had to pay for my own college, but my parents gave me everything I needed, and occasionally I got things I wanted. My mom told me later on that she felt guilty that she couldn’t give us everything we wanted, but I told her that I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
Secondly, I actually have a little boy who was born 3 months to the day after Harrison. Before he was born, I had a promising career in newspaper advertising that required a lot of my time and energy. I returned to work after maternity leave, and after only 2 weeks I couldn’t stand it any longer. I felt so completely different about having a career than I did before. I felt that my husband and I were in no kind of situation for me to be a SAHM, but the pull to be with my son was overwhelming. I spent much time in prayer, and came to realize that my first calling in life from God was to be a wife and mother because at the end of the day, my success in these areas are the only things that matter. Having a lot of faith that God was trying to get me where I needed to be, I quit my job and spent my summer taking care of my son while I sought other employment that would better suit my family oriented view. I am now working for the local school system, making less than half what I was before, but a thousand times happier because I am afforded a lot more time to devote to being a wife and mother. And you know what? The cut in pay was SO worth it. Yes, I want to give my son everything he deserves, but as long as I can provide for his needs, then all is well. It takes sacrifices though. It means not living in the largest house, or having the newest car, but we can’t take any of that when we leave this world anyways. The only thing that you can invest in here that you will have in heaven is your family.
Besides….I would rather be broke and have my son, than to have riches and no family.
Like I said…simply my point of view, and just felt compelled to share. You may be called to have that career and your family….the most important thing is that you make sure you follow God’s will for your life. It’s the only way to find true happiness and fulfillment in this world. BTW, love your blog….always have, and always will! (My husband and I can’t look at my son’s duck tub without thinking about the ‘poo bath’ story.
))
Trendy hair bands? I’m intrigued. What are said bands? Do they have diamonds on them? I mean real diamonds, not CZ. Because you better believe the only effing way I’d work just to afford “trendy hair bands” is if they came with diamonds, made my hair look beautiful every day, allowed me to eat whatever I want while maintaining a lovely weight of 140, and gave me massages.
I mean, seriously? What a bozo.
I have no advice. Life’s hard. Work’s hard. Being a mom and a wife is hard. But millions have done it before us and millions will do it after us. Unless you’re one of the looney ones who believes the world is ending in 2012, in which case, blow your salary on trendy hair bands and sit on your couch eating bon bons every day while snuggling with Harrison.
For real though, you and I are a lot alike, or so it seems. I forget to live in the moment and focus on the little things. It could all be gone tomorrow (God forbid, but still), so as long as y’all are safe, healthy, fed, and loved, let the little things go (aka, don’t be hard on yourself if frozen pizza is all you had the energy to make).
Bonzer, I’m going to tell myself you had a typo. You can’t say in one breath that being a mom doesn’t equal being a martyr and then say in the next breath that those of us who take “me” time are disgruntled because there’s not SUPPOSED to be me time in the first few years. If that’s not what you meant, please clarify your position. Because that’s what it sounds like you’re saying. And I call BS to that.
A) Do you ever say “I quit this bitch!” like on Bob and the Showgram?
B) Call me if you trust me the next time you are stuck. Harry and Jacob will get along fine. But I warn you, my house isn’t nearly as clean as yours.
C) I’ve got to get downstairs to catch ANTM so I need to wrap this up.
D) Please wear a trendy headband tomorrow. The ponytail shit is getting old.
::winks and hugs:: I get it.
YOU KNOW I CAN’T HAVE MY HAIR HANGING IN MY FACE WHEN I EAT.
See if I ever eat hot wings with you again.
p.s. I will call you. Promise.
You people (you know who you are) are the most mindless people I’ve encountered on the internet, to date. You seriously should look into higher education or something. Clearly, what you have currently isn’t working out for you. Or, maybe you need a healthy dose of reality – because clearly you live in the land of make believe.
Four words for you BA, darlin’ – Ignore. the. dumb. asses.
No kidding, we NEED two incomes in our family, and we don’t have kids, yet. Wow.
Anywho, keep on keepin’ on Blair, you are doing it. You are doing it the way my mom and tons of others did. I can’t get all of the stuff done in a day that I want to, and like I said, I don’t have kids. There are days that my laundry and dishes are not done, my bathrooms aren’t clean, and I fall asleep in the sweater I wore to work. It’s okay.
And I still like frozen pizza
)
being a mom is a reward , not a punishment. Not having me time makes you a martyr? I think not. It’s called making a small sacrifice for a short, fast passing amount of time. Not giving up your life forever in spite of someone else.
It’s a small sacrifice, not nailing yourself to a cross but rather getting ohhhhh 2 less pedicures a year if it means spending saturday morning on the couch watching jacks big music show with your kid on your lap.
I will fully admit to working so that I can live in a nice neighborhood & take worldly vacations. Why? So my kid can go to an excellent school, and get exposure to a wide variety of perspectives, lifestyles, and opinions. Then, perhaps, she will not grow to make ridiculous, close-minded statements such as “no one needs two incomes”.
Blair you know you only have a job so you can pay for your ipad. Stop lying to all of us. That and the cartridges for your keurig.
Do some people really not think before they post? If hairbands ( do you buy hairbands? did I miss something?!?!?) I never even noticed what your kid wears in his pictures either, evidently people are keeping major tabs on your spending in which I ask,
can they do a budget plan for me? TIA!
OMG, I totally forgot about that one. Yes, y’all know I’m just working to buy an iPad. pssssh, who needs Bump Blog Awards to win one?
WOOT TO Tiffany!! hells YES, momnom! get ‘em!
and BA? you know I struggle too. so much. fist bump to you, girl. we will get through this.
so maybe this is a stupid suggestion (or maybe you already do it) but have you tried getting rid of the tv? we decided our babe wouldn’t watch any tv, so we got rid of cable and only watch on the ipad some nights after she’s in bed. it’s made such a huge difference. i have time to craft, bake, clean, cook, and hang out with my husband. (we never watched that much, but probably a couple hours a night). obv doesn’t change your work situation, but maybe would make home time more relaxing?
honestly, i think working sucks, and we’re not made to have 2 parents work full-time, and I think we should all revamp our lifestyles so both parents can be home more. but that’s not reality for most people (me included).
plus, working weekends suck. i had to work a lot of weekends (and late nights) before i went part-time, and it totally sucks – usually makes me cry big fat tears of self-pity.
We actually got rid of television back last January! Greatest decision we made ever. We watch a few shows that we get on the four free channels, but that’s about it
& yeah, the weekends are killing me. I think it’s just hard after working a full work-week & then launching into the weekend work with no break or time.
WOW! I was originally going to commiserate about the struggles of a working mom, but then I read some of these comments. They must be addressed:
“Why did you have kids anyway?” REALLY?
“Find a new job-They are easy to come by” REALLY?
“you don’t NEED two incomes” REALLY
I don’t know what world these people are living in but I’m pretty sure it is located in another reality.
okay- back to my original intent: You’re going through the same struggle I think every working mom does. It sucks. Bottom line is you always feel like you can’t give anything in your life 100% because there are just too many demands. Just keep your head up and know that you’re doing what is best for your family the best you can and that’s PERFECT!
oh, and one thing that would be worth using all your hairband money on; getting yourself cloned… that’s the only way to be 90 different people at once and not miss anything.
Holy crap. Do you women have nothing better to do than try to create drama on someone ELSE’S blog? You should be ashamed of yourselves. BA, I think you’re doing a great job as a working mom. I really look up to you. I will have to work after I have this baby (yay DC economy and yay buying a house at the top of the market) and I take comfort in knowing there are lots of other women, like you, that make it work.
I tried to hold my tounge, there are some very articulate women rightfully defending you, but I am so pissed that I couldn’t keep it to myself.
I don’t know you, your family, your finances, etc, but I don’t care. If you’re a momma going through a hardtime – I SUPPORT YOU. Period. Raising kids is the hardest, most important job out there and we need to support each other, even if we take different paths. Each of us gets up every morning and does the best we can that day and we have crappy days where we don’t think we can keep our heads above water. (Sometimes mine feels more like crappy months.)
I work full-time and I will be damned if somebody is going to question why I had kids or if I can afford to stay home. Because it doesn’t matter. I can’t afford to stay home, but if I chose to work it wouldn’t make me a bad mother. I know women who choose to work, are phenomenal mothers and they still struggle.
Regardless of the path each of us are on, we will have crappy days and none of should be criticized for our choices or our struggles. Parenting is only hard because you care and clearly you do, that’s all that matters.
Great post, ignore the critics! I have to ignore them to.
You are my new favorite person.
Call me crazy but all this hairband talk has me wanting to set the Pandora to “She’s My Cherry Pie” woooot!
::initiates slow clap for Paige::
for the love of all that is holy – YES.
i actually touched on this on my blog a few days ago. and i don’t even work full time. it is unbelievable how much goes through my mind as a mom, wife, employee, business owner, friend, etc, etc, etc. i don’t know how it can be done without coming out the other end highly medicated. it’s just too much!
Holy Sweet Baby Jesus in a Manger and His Swaddling Clothes. Paige for the win.
Paige wins!
Bonzer, I think we’re saying the same thing here. I really do. But I think we’re saying it in two different ways.
Maybe.
I’m still confused.