I love this burn in my legs. I love the rush of weariness that flows through me right now. I felt so comfortably alone out under the stars with Tuck by my side. Away from everything that stressed me out. Letting the anger & frustration I felt this afternoon push down through my shoes to be left on the pavement. I wish it were magic & that I felt automatically better, but I still feel a little gloom over me. Why can’t running be a cure-all?
I wrote this after my first run of the week on Tuesday. I always hate saying “I had a rough day” because a) it feels like every day is rough in it’s own way & b) I sound like a whiny little snot that can’t belly up to the bar, like, EVER. But sometimes I get this funky grey mist that just sort of hangs over me & on Tuesday, I wished that a surge of endorphins would lift me straight out of it. But I did make it a point to run in at least one small effort.
I think what I struggle most with is making time to run. There always seems to be a good excuse, no matter how much I look forward to it & enjoy pounding the pavement. I’m sore, I’m tired, the dishes aren’t done, I haven’t cooked dinner in a week. My period didn’t start, my period started, I have fifteen emails flooding in. I keep trying to push all of those things to the side & focus on myself for just thirty minutes three times per week. Because at the end of the day, that is what my run is – thirty minutes to myself, focusing on myself. the breif ninety minutes per week that I give wholly over to myself, escaping the demands of marriage, motherhood, & life.
Right now, that is what keeps me motivated. Not a race on Thanksgiving day, or the lure of watching the scale drop. But knowing that for just a teensy bit of time, I am allowing myself to be alone & to be still (figuratively speaking, of course).
& I can’t lie, the toning in my legs is going to look awesome by the time spring rolls around. helloooooooooo, shorts for the first time in 10 years.
On the non-running front, I haven’t stepped on the scale in a short while, but my jeans are still fitting & I am trying to make good choices, other than the three mini-Snickers I snarfed down while waiting for trick-or-treaters that never came last night. So now I am left with $15 of candy & a raging case of the choco-holics.
p.s. Week 2 starts tonight!! holla!
so stinkin cute!
adorable halloween costume!! 
http://www.justcherishtoday.com
You can do it!!!
Making time for exercise is so tough now. I feel ya! But, like you, I savor the time alone to think, and breathe, and listen to music or catch up with a friend. And I feel SO good afterward–way better than if I’d checked off something on my to-do list–which is too long to attend to anyway!
Yay! At least you didn’t give in to those excuses, I know how hard it is to fight them! I think as mothers/wives/daughters/women, we just tend to want to please everyone and feel guilty taking time for ourselves. I feel it every day. And this week, I had to fight hard to make myself go and run, and every time I did, I loved it, but then when I got home I felt all guilty like “oh, I better shower quick so I can do this, or that, or what I didn’t do yesterday.” Why do we do that to ourselves?? Doesn’t it make sense that if we’re happy then we’ll, in turn, make those we’re trying to please happy? You’d think!
Good for you, keep it going, and the scale? He can wait. Make your feelings the judge for a while!
Thanks for the comment for my McFatty post today, here it is for all the other McFatty joiners!
http://outofrealworld.wordpress.com/2010/11/01/motivation/
You go girl! That 30 minutes is so worth it when you start noticing you can run farther than you ever thought possible.
I just finished week 6 and definitely had to take short walking breaks. Week 7 starts tomorrow. I’m glad we’re all doing this together!
Keep up the good work! I have the same issue of but I dont want to b/c I’ve had a bad day but once I start it isn’t as bad as I made it out to be! And I feel ya on the trick or treaters, we had like 7 and now have 15 dollars worth of candy left over!
Good job
I’m pretty addicted to running and recommend it to anyone who still wants to eat pizza but look flyy at the same time 
One thing I found that helps me on the days I should go but I don’t want to is to announce it. Make it my FB status, My BBM status, tell my coworkers ” I’m going on a 7 mile run tonight” It makes it an event, it gears me up and it holds me responsible because sure enough SOMEONE is going to ask me how my run went and I have too much pride to say I didn’t go!
Just a little tidbit
Yeah for keeping up the running. I so have to get motivated! Also, when I saw Harrison in that red car I immediately thought of that same mouse!! So, there MUST be a book SOMEWHERE where a mouse drives a red car!
Go you! This last week wasn’t as great for me as the previous 2 weeks. I only ran three times instead of five, and yesterday I was a bit hungover from a Halloween party on Saturday so I didn’t run at all. And I was supposed to attempt to run 5 miles for my relay race training. (Yikes.) I wonder if I self-sabotaged on purpose because I am terrified to attempt to run 5 miles? I nearly died running 4 last week.
I’m running tonight after work. Gotta get back to it! The scale still won’t budge but my pants are definitely fitting better…
Wow! Great Job! The only way I’ve been unable to make any excuses of things I’m not doing on the home front is going to the gym on my lunch, but then I sometimes think of excuses that I have to run errands on my lunch. It’s a vicious cycle. Kepp of the great work!
Blair, you’ve SO got this. I’ve been running for nearly eight years and you’re inspiring ME! Carve the time out for yourself. As mothers, we HAVE to do that. And spending our time on something healthy? It makes me feel good just thinking about it. Keep at it! we’re all rooting for you!
You really have me thinking about this C25K thing…. 4 weeks post-partum is probably a *bit* early to start. We do have a great 5 mile (not 5K) run each year on Thanksgiving in my town. Maybe next year….
As far as your candy dilemma: donate it to a local shelter. Oh, and next year, buy Airheads. They are totally disgusting, but kids love them. No fear of overeating the leftovers (or worse, finishing it all BEFORE Halloween and having to buy more– been THERE!)
Have a great week. Keep running!!
If you’re looking for a good way to get rid of your candy there is a Halloween Candy buy back program where dentists buy the candy for $1 a pound and then it gets sent in care packages to troops overseas.
http://www.halloweencandybuyback.com/
I feel ya. I’ve got a crap ton of excuses and candy this week.
http://laceyslaughablelife.wordpress.com/2010/11/01/mcfatty-week-9/
You are awesome Blair! Kepp it up.
I just wrote about excuses in my blog this morning. I totally know who you feel.
When I started the C25K, I was really pumped – I’m doing this! It’s pretty easy! Yay me! After a couple weeks, it got a little harder and it got more difficult to resist the excuses and all the reasons I didn’t need to run that night. Then this amazing transition happened and I started making excuses why I needed to run that night rather than do the dishes, or laundry, or watch TV or whatever. Right now, your brain knows it’s good for you, but your body is still getting there. Pretty soon, you’ll have to run, the excuses won’t matter so much. It just takes some time to get there.
At the end of your run, ask yourself how you feel. If you feel like crap and you’re exhausted, ask yourself why. Did you eat well that day. Did you drink enough water. Did you get enough sleep the orevious night.
And if at the end of your run you find yourself saying “I did it! And it feels good. I accomplished one of my goals today.” That feel will stick with you. Keep it in your back pocket and take it out the next time you’re struggling to get out and run. I know it’s a lot easier said than done.
My motivator was doing it in honor of my dad who fought and beat cancer 3 years ago. Each time I tried to talk myself out of running, I’d think back to the days he’d lie in his hospital bed and would barely have enough energy to talk. Then I think about how far he’s come and dammit if he can beat that shit, I can get my ass out there and run for 30 mins 3x a week.
You can do this! You just need to find your groove. Take the good from it, whether it be time to think, time to daydream or just listen to your favorite tunes.
Good luck!
I love how you said that every day feels rough in its own way. It’s so true. I’m just going to go think about that for a little while.
And – I WISH i could say i only ate 3 little pieces of halloween candy
I think the fact that you’re running for YOU- not for a smaller number of some sort- helps ensure that you’re going to keep up your fitness goals. And, of course, it means a healthier you- even with a few extra pieces of candy. (And for the record, I have been eating WAY too much of the sweet stuff!)
Yay you, for doing it anyways! Those are the hardest days for me to “follow the rules.”
You might have inspired me to do a C25K myself. Looking into it….
Good for you for pushing through.
My confession: I didn’t run at all last week
I have semi-legit reasons, but I should have tried harder. So I am going to attempt to start Week 2 for the second week in a row.
We can do this!!!
I know it’s easier said than done. But don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing the work just by TRYING to change and that’s ALL that counts.
A lot of people sit around thinking, I wish I would do this. I wish I would do that. The difference is you actually do it.
I wish I had more willpower like you. Right now, I haven’t exercised in over a year.
Serious question – what are you going to do when it starts to get colder? I have been running in the morning but dang sister, it’s dropping down to the 30s and that CAN’T be healthy!
I had considered buying a treadmill on Craigslist. What are you going to do? Keep at it outside through the winter? move to the elliptical? join a gym?
Kudos to you for sticking with it! We went hiking last weekend but other than that, I can barely get around to exercising these days other than the kickboxing class I teach every other week. I use the baby as an excuse but I really need to get on the ball!
Good for you!
Running doesn’t quite “do it” for me. The asthma, the pain, the…well…the running. But I have walked my dog more this week. And guess what? All of the sudden, my size 10s fit. The scale hasn’t budged, but I guess that doesn’t matter if the ole Gap Long and Leans suddenly fit again!
Mini chocolate bars do not count…well until I step on the scale and see that they actually do. Damn
Sorry that you’re feeling poopie. Hugs.
Goodluck! You can do it. I give you tons of credit. I hear ya on the excuses…it’s so easy to come up with those little reason why not now…why not today….what I have to do instead….good for you sticking with it!!
http://mammamoiselle.blogspot.com
I just finished the C25K in October. It sucked at first and it was easier to make excuses but it got easier and harder and the 30 minutes really became my salvation.
http://hippiechickyvt.blogspot.com/2010/10/one-where-rachel-sets-goal-and-works.html
You might enjoy it and if I can do it so can you.
holla, girl! You are doing great! Next semester I am starting up C25K again when I have my evenings back. 30 min a day to myself. booya.