I worked hard this week.
Last week was a wake-up call for me, & I kicked it into high gear. I stuck to my Nutrisystem food & plan. We walked four nights out of the week. On Saturday, we took a long walk in the park with several hills. I sweated. I pumped up the hills. I pushed the stroller, felt my muscles burn, & chugged water. I veered from the program twice – once on Friday morning with breakfast at work, but made up for it with a workout Friday night. & then Saturday night on date night – but I immediately split my plate in half, & took home half of the meal.
I worked HARD.
On Tuesday morning, I hopped on the scale just to see if any progress had been made. For motivation. (also because I’m a scale addict) Because even if I was down a few ounces, it would keep me going.
& the scale said 204.2 lbs. Roughly four pounds lost in…two days?
I made sure the scale was flat on the floor, reset it, & stepped on it again. 204.2 lbs. I fist-pumped the air, & didn’t step back on the scale until this morning. At 207.4 lbs.
I hate to do the typical cop-out. I really wouldn’t pull this card if I wasn’t truly perplexed. But y’all…I think my scale might be broken. An almost eight-pound weight gain, then a four pound loss in two days, then a three pound gain even though I was doing everything right? With my clothes fitting better? I don’t know.
But I did my best. & that’s what matters.
Also? I’m going with me losing four pounds this week. JUST BECAUSE I CAN. & we’ll just have to see next week whether or not I need to buy a new scale.
I did, however, realize a few things this week – like how I like my body. I LIKE MY BODY, Y’ALL. I don’t know whether it’s the drugs talking, or the fact that I’m at pre-baby weight & fitting into my clothes, or whether it’s just me accepting my reality. But when I look in the mirror, I’m okay with the reflection. Sure, I’m a little softer around the edges. I have a pouch of fat & skin around my belly button. I’ll never look like Heidi Klum. But I look pretty okay for just having had a baby.
awww, man. I don’t really get to use that excuse anymore with a near one-year-old, do I?
But I look pretty okay. & I’m comfortable with it. I need to keep striving to lose more, because my BMI numbers still aren’t in a healthy range, but it’s good to feel good about myself. To be comfortable in my skin, to know that size is only a number that says nothing about who I am as a person. & I feel a mental shift towards wanting to be HEALTHY, rather than a specific number in my pants or on the scale.
Granted, that number on the (potentially broken) scale can be an indicator of health. So I can’t completely disregard it, no matter how badly I want to throw the (potentially broken) scale out the window.
Where do you think you need to be to feel good about yourself? Are you there?
Also…does my scale need an exorcism?