Remember how I’m in New York City?!?!

Sorry.  I had to rub it in a little bit.

Anywho.  LCW, or Lindsey for some of us, is the spice behind Waking Up Williams, where she & her husband JPW chronicle their life through parenting, being naked on the couch for vlogs, & running Japster, Inc. in an effort for wordpress.org world domination.

I luff her.  I love her sass, I love her tweets, & everytime I think of LCW, I think of this picture that used to be up on this crazy message board we used to frequent where she was wearing her daughter in a Moby wrap.  & y’all remember how much I loved my Moby.  So we were pretty much instant friends, at least on my end.

LCW has been a total sugarcake & granted me the honor of posting here while I’m gone…just a little snapshot to get y’all talking, to stir some thoughts, to share advice…you know, about SEX.  Because it’s one of my favorite gloves-off topics & LCW does an amazing job of confronting every parent’s worst nightmare.

No, not the terrible twos.  Or diarrhea in the tub, although that is a close second.  Too bad “close” only counts in horseshoes & hand grenades.  But about what happens after the kid pops out.  Where our libido goes, how to fix it, & how to not become “those people” that used to have a good sex life.

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I’m not going to lie, I totally 100% invited myself over to Blair’s blog.  I didn’t think twice about hitting the send button the email that said, “Hey if you ever need a guest blogger, I’d love to help you out”.  Help her out?  She doesn’t need any help from me, but obviously I was feeling big and mighty that day and hit send regardless.  Then I had a minor freak out….because she could have totally said, “No”.  End of story, no further explanation and our internet friendship would have been tarnished forever.  Ok, perhaps that’s a tad over dramatic, and she didn’t say no, in fact she said YES!  So you’re stuck with me for the day.  Blair said I could write about anything, except I had to include a bit about how unbelievably awesome she is, and really, she doesn’t need accolades from me.  Most of you probably don’t even know me, or read my blog.  I’m okay with that.  But since I’m a woman of my word, I have  channeled  my inner second grader and wrote her a poem.

Blair’s posts on sex inspire me.  They inspire me to talk more about it with the hubs and to do more of it.  Some of you found her inspirational in starting your blog, I find her posts about sex absolutely hysterically, because everything about the post sounds pretty, it has pretty purple pictures of Grimace and she eloquently describes hot steamy moments, without sounding like a Madame.  I wish I could be so descriptive, yet mysterious.  I wish I could just let it all out on my own blog, but my mother in law reads it and then instead of commenting I get really long emails with her thoughts and comments.  Oh and we’ve already been asked when we plan on having baby #2, translated: When do you plan on getting all down and dirty, throwing all birth control out the window and romping like rabbits to make a fetus.   Noneyabusiness.  That’s when.

So maybe I need to channel more Blair.  I mean some of you use her blogging as a springboard for posts, I’m going to use her sex posts as a springboard for well, duh, more sex.  Because the leg humping in the kitchen while I’m cooking dinner or rubbing my boobs in the car while I’m driving just doesn’t get me all hot and bothered, it really just bothers me and I think a little more zest is needed.  And my husband is not totally to blame, obviously it takes two to tango, my attempts are lame as well.  “Want to get naked?”  I mean really, that’s not sexy or exciting at all.  While it may be direct, it lacks any creativity and excitement.

And this is where I’m stumped both in the bedroom and on this post.  So in an attempt to lift the writers block I skyped my husband asking for advice. He usually laughs at the posts that are meant to be comical.  I thought he could offer me some support for my big writing debut on Heir to Blair; and among some of his ideas he came up with “Sex Life Slowdown”  This is why I married him folks, he read my mind. I skyped him for help and he has the same topic on his mind.  We’re in a sex life slowdown.  And we only have ourselves to blame. Our baby goes to bed about 7, and although she’s up once at night, it’s well after any naked time would occur.  We live in the same house and sleep in the same bed, after a year of him traveling during the week, so that should make it easier. Hell, when we got pregnant, he was only home for the holidays and then back on the road again.  It shouldn’t be this hard.  He’s hot, fit and trim.  He smells fantastic and knows how to rock a dress shirt.

So this is where you all chime in.  How do we find more time for ourselves?  What can I do?  I’ve recently switched from nursing bras to my VS bras, maybe that’ll help  a little. I wore make up twice last week and he’s spotted me naked while getting dressed.  Sexy, right?  He’s a good man for being so patient while I nap and clean on the weekends rather than rip his clothes off.  What are your quick and easy ways to get me in the fast lane on our sex life slowdown?  I’m begging you and my husband will be thanking you.