After a week like last week (down four pounds!) I’m a little miffed to see the scale not moving this week, even though it could be expected. & I realized - I need a new goal. A specific, hard-number goal.
It was so easy to drop the baby weight & then the Harpie weight. They both felt like baggage that I had to lose to move forward in life. I was miserable with the baby weight, miserable still carrying around a bit of my first pregnancy – daily reminders of what happened to my body throughout a course of a year. So I took them off. Simple as that. No frills, no empty promises, no fluffy reasons. I was miserable, the pounds were adding to that, so I took them off.
I’m a very cut-&-dry person, if you haven’t been reading this blog & paying attention for, I don’t know, 2 seconds.
& then I got stuck. I gained weight in the hospital & have had a terrible time re-shedding these last 7 lbs to be back at my pre-hospital weight. At first, I chalked it to medication (which, in part, is true – I’m on meds that increase my appetite & slow my metabolism). Then I chalked it up to being lazy (but then I started exercising again). I tried motivating myself with McFatty Monday (come on, Blair…everyone’s going to see you being a fatty again!). Motivating myself with competition (she’s skinnier than you! & her baby is younger than yours!). Motivating myself with events (Blogher is coming up & I MUST MUST MUST lose some pounds!). & I think I’ve realized that my problem was not motivation or laziness but LACK OF AN END.
I told Nate repeatedly that I was frustrated because I felt like I was ALWAYS losing weight. At first, I said 180 lbs as my end weight, then backed it up to 170 lbs. & then I felt miserable. My little “goals” of wedding weight, weight for kicks, etc. didn’t matter anymore. Like damn…I’ve lost 30 lbs and I STILL have 30 left to go?! Daunting.
& so, friends, I’ve decided to make an obtainable goal that has an end.
I’m going to lose another 20 lbs. & that’s it for now. I’ll be doing this with Nutrisystem because I’ve proven that it works. I took off 35 pounds easy-peasy. I can do 20 with them.
Basically, I’m committing to losing Harrison. To hitting that even 180 lbs again. & I won’t think of any numbers past that. Because when I do, I start feeling overwhelmed by the entire process & intimidated by the idea of success.
When really, I just need to shed the kid.
Why is it that weight loss is such a journey? (& why does it always feel like such a whiney one?) I wish I could wave a magic wand that made every week be fantastic, that made medications not alter appetite, that made it easy to admit that I just couldn’t hack it when it came to losing another round of big numbers. Is it because I’m afraid of success? Am I afraid to be deserving of good things, to want good things for myself, & to make them happen? In weight loss, but maybe even in life?
Is your weight loss journey teaching you anything about yourself?
required disclaimer: i am being supplied with nutrisystem food by nutrisystem, free of cost to me. sweet, right? but i assure you, i began nutrisystem on my own in january, spent my own money for 4 months, & fully endorse the program. i’m just thankful that they’ll be helping me out on my last leg of the journey! to join me on the Nutrisystem program and to receive a special offer, call 1-877-704-0597 or click here.
Okay, you and I are like esp buddies or something. Today I blogged about dieting for basically my entire life and why I don't give up.
I think you are doing so well and even though it is tough to swallow, that ups and downs are part of the game. Keep going! 20 lbs it is!!
http://www.ajdplusthree.com/2010/07/i-am-fat-ass….
good post. I guess what I'm learning most through this journey is that they keys to long term weight loss are patience and perseverance.
Some weeks the scale moves a lot! Some weeks it doesn't move at all, or it's maybe .5 lbs or 1 lb and I'm like, Damn, all that work for THAT??!?!?!?
But then I remember the weeks when I was pregnant. The weeks where I was growing a human in my uterus and the scale didn't budge. I would go an entire MONTH of growing from zygote-embryo-fetus and there would sometimes be no change in my weight gain.
So, if something THAT significant could go on inside me and the scale still didn't go UP, then the same could be said for the opposite.
Maybe something else is going on that I can't see right now. Maybe I'm lowering my cholesterol, maybe I'm improving my muscle tone, maybe I'm detoxifying my liver… No, it doesnt' drop the scale down to 165, but it does remind me that weight loss isn't a matter of instant gratification that we are all so accustomed to now. It's a matter of waiting, anticipating, watching, working and not giving up.
My friend started weight watchers a year ago. She is a total couch potato. She in one year, dropped NINETY THREE pounds and looks like an entirely new person. But, it took a YEAR.
I have another 65 or so years left in my life- God willing….so I can devote this time to GO SLOW and lose the weight the right way.
i'm not going to let it defeat me, I'm not going to let it get me down. I'm going to keep chugging along until I get to my goal and I'm going to always remember how it felt to be fat so I never end up there again.
patience, Blair. Patience. It will happen. It took 10 whole months to grow Harrison, it took 9 more months to get him to this point of crawly-walky-talky-boy.
Give your body a break. Girlfriend has been working overtime for quite some time and she's doing her best. Dont' worry, she won't let you down.
I lost 56 pounds on WW before I got married. I was always the chubby girl and I had a really hard time believing that I had finally done it- I was skinny. I was wearing size 8's for the first time ever and it didn't seem real. I was motivated with a capital M and I wish like crazy that I could get there again. I'm 6 pounds from my "comfortable weight" and 16 pounds from my WW goal…. your Monday posts have started getting me inspired again– thanks
don't give up! although i don't understand how it feels to want to lose more than 5 lbs (i've never been over a size 4 pants in my (25 years of) life – so far) but i do know that anything you set your mind to, you can do it. good luck!!
oh,and you look really, really great! just remember that!
I have learned how easily I get discouraged and thus throw the towel in. Losing weight is hard work and I naturally sit about 10 lbs over what I feel comfortable in. I have lost the weight before, I know I can do it but the reality is I lose the motivation to do it. So this week I have decided to stop looking at the big goal and focus on the weekly goals and am begging all the mcfatty bandwagon to hold my butt accountable.
http://www.thereelfamilyblog.com
I"m not really on a weight loss journey, but am on a quest to eat better and prepare better meals for my family. We just can't seem to kick the processed foods and fast food to the curb. I'm starting the South Beach Diet soon in an effort to make better food choices and hopefully have more energy. I'm so run down all the time.
Hi! so i've posted a reply before. and i read your posts all the time. anyway! your weight loss battle. i so feel it.
it will almost have been a year since i started mine. august 1 2009. i started at 240 pounds. ( I am short, 5'4, 5'5ish btw) i am now 163 pounds. and i'm not close to done. I know i look tons better. TONS. i feel AMAZING. i'm more confident. I'm back to the way i was when i was younger. outgoing, fun loving. fearless.
it has been the BEST year of my life. I still love food. its hard not too. what is the hardest thing to learn? no its not waking up at six every day to work out. that is old hat now. like brushign my teeth and i love a hard workout. i used to hate it. but now its my hobby its what keeps me from wanting to just lose it when people frustrate me. it is still a battle to eat right. but now after a year i'm starting to be brilliant at it.
its harder for you because you've got so much going on in your life. but look how far youv'e come! i dont have kids, but wow is it ever difficult to eat right when my husband manages to still look OK and eat like a damn horse. i'll be eating my reduced portions and hes just mowing down everyting and all i can think is /whimper. but it is SO worth it. you must begin to view food as a fuel! not as a fix.
i totally recommend Chalean Extreme. I LOVE IT. and the muscle will tighten thigns up for you. its a difficult set of work outs but fit me and helped me so much better than other ones that were more aeorbic and dancing around. The energy it gives you is like a high adn you ride it all day. it becomes easier to just face everything. i know how you feel. i have lost 77 pounds. and i still have about 25 to 30ish to go. and you think OMG WHY ISNT THIS OVER?! but take heart! we'll both get there. but make fitness a part of your life! embrace it and your transformation. its all about attitude!
good luck!
I know you've complimented me on my body before because you think I look great now.
But did I ever tell you I gained 40 pounds in a YEAR right after I got married? It took me three years to get 25 of that off. I have some question for you and some motivation that helped me if you want. Just e-mail me. You know where to find me.
And for the record, I'm the world's biggest procrastinator and I suck at dieting. I feel a blog post coming up…
First of all, I think you should look at what looks great on your body AKA: your arms!! … I promise that when you start feeling better about yourself, everything will get easier.
My "Makeover Mondays" are teaching me something & that is that I am NOT realistic & that makes me crazy & makes things worse. Not a good thing.
So since I reached my goal a couple weeks ago I have sorta…stopped caring. And I think my weight is starting to creep back on, but it's hard to tell because the jeans are still fitting. Maybe I shouldn't wear PJ's every day. I think my PJ's are making me feel fat. I need new PJ's. Ones that make me feel skinnier. And maybe with some boob support. Babies did a number on my boobs. Not your fantastic boobs…but to mine. Ok wait. This is getting out of hand. Comment ADD.
Ok so anyhow, I really really really hate that it's so hot here. I really want to take Sophia to the zoo. It's like 3 hours of walking. It would be great for me. But when the heat index is almost 90 degree's at 11 pm at night (last night) it's hard to be motivated to even walk to the mailbox much less to see the giraffes. So this is me putting off exercise yet again…..I just need one of the The Doctors to give me a tummy tuck with an ab tightening *thing* so that I don't have to exercise.
P.S. I think you look great!
You look great and you can do this!
I hit such a great milestone last week, I only have 10 pounds to go to hit pre pregnancy weight! I can't believe I have lost 40 pounds.. they say the last 10 pounds are the hardest though.
Here is my before and after
http://www.adventuresinmommyhood.net/2010/07/10-1…
My weight loss journey has taught me that I do not put myself first. I am quick to care for others, and look out for their best interests, but rarely do I put my own needs first. I am slowly getting better at this, but it is a challenge!
I think a lot of women fall into this same boat- being a nurturer to everyone but themselves!
You look great, and have accomplished so much- including inspiring so many others! Thank you!
Melissa
My weight loss journey says "you have no self control, Alison."
And I can say from experience that I think 180 is a perfect weight for you and your height and body. You look great now…but 180 will be like "I want her body" hot!
I'll do it with you…25lbs for me will be 200. Not my eventual goal, but a solid attainable one for now. Don't judge me when I order those cheesy garlic knots…
My weight loss journey has taught me that I need a specific, attainable goal, or I will let weeks go by without exercising.
For my wedding I lost 15 pounds, and then promptly gained back 8 of it. I need a new goal, because being 5'5 and 200 pounds is unacceptable.
Ps. Love that picture with you and little Harrison. He is such a cutie!
I'm sure you have reasons for wanting to lose 20 more, but you really do look great. Like you, I felt like I was ALWAYS on diet and eventually asked myself why I was striving for a specific number. I was in a healthy range for my height, and it didn't seem necessary to focus so closely on the scale. Instead, I ramped up my weight training and found that I could make myself simply look and feel a lot better by being toned and fit – I even fit into clothes that I used to wear at a much lower weight. I attribute a lot of that to strength training along with cardio, even though the scale didn't move.
I'm sure you'll meet your goal – but just remember you can also transform your body without significant jumps on the scale.
Blair…really try not to be so hard on yourself.
Losing weight is so incredibly hard. And yes, it takes a long, long time. Little goals are the best way to go and then re-evaluate what you want to do after the fact. Don't compare yourself to others with weight loss…everyone loses differently, everyone has a different body.
I also am starting to think about not looking at the scale anymore and just think about how my clothes feel. I haven't lost a pound in…what, a month now? And it's frustrating me. Nevermind the fact that I've lost 95, those last couple are pissing me off…and they shouldn't. I know I feel good, and my clothes feel great. And that's what's important, not a number on a scale.
You look completely fab, btw
And…umm…I totally forgot that today was Monday, so I didn't do a post this week. Oops. Will have to double up for next week.
Awesome post as usual. Here's mine for this week…
http://arewethereyet81.blogspot.com/2010/07/mcfat…
I want to lose 20 more as well. My treadmill misses me. Let's just do it!
After months of reading about it, Its time I start writing about it. Thanks for starting this, YOU have helped so many people. http://laceyslaughablelife.blogspot.com/2010/07/m…
I've got 20 to go and B is about the same age as H. I also just signed myself up for an 8K walk – not sure what I'm getting myself into but it is forcing me to go out and condition myself. Normally I think of weight as a vanity thing and go by how my clothes fit…things are getting snug again.
BTW – when are we going to see you get interviewed by Marie Osmond on a Nutrisystem commercial???
I so feel you this week. Especially questioning why I just can't do this, and questioning my fear of success.
I lost about 30 pounds almost ten years ago (and have since gained it back and then some). I was healthier than I'd been in awhile, but still had about 30 more to go to be healthy. And looking back, I totally sabotaged myself. And it was right around the time that people started really noticing and commenting on my weight loss. I think part of it…for me anyway…is that I've always struggled with my weight. And the comments about my weight loss were uncomfortable, in that it made me start questioning whether my colleagues, family, friends, etc. thought that I was a better person now that I was smaller. So in some ways, I think gaining the weight back was a misguided attempt to show them that I was smart, funny, fun, etc. at any weight. And also, I think that I am scared of success.
But, it's one day at a time. And today, I got up and went to the gym before work, and had a healthy breakfast of skim milk and oatmeal. And so I continue on, trying to make good choices.
Good luck! I'm rooting for you…and I know that you are cheering all of us on, too (otherwise, you wouldn't be doing these posts!). We ARE worth it and we DO deserve it.
First McFatty post here. Nervous!
Congrats on the new goals Blair.
http://cornstalksandsalmon.blogspot.com/2010/07/m…
I think 20 pounds is very doable. I know you can do it!
Coming from someone that lost 45 pounds and gained 15 of it back now I would say my weight loss journey has been humbling. It always amazes me how HARD we must work to lose those pounds and how easy they seem to get put right back on, over night it seems.
I'm starting p90x today, and I will lose these 15 pounds. And I know you will loose your 20!! We can do this!
my weight loss journey is teaching me to consciously accept imperfection…but I see you already saw that this morning
http://mommyhoodatthirty.com/?p=916
I laughed as soon as I opened this post. Look what I posted in February:
http://theazkahles.blogspot.com/2010/02/losing-lu…
My goal? To lose 27 pounds, or the weight of my daughter at that time. She's now 30 pounds and I…um…well, I have lost 10. I better hop to, huh? Or pretty soon I'll be trying to lose the weight of a 3rd grader.
I've found a few things helpful. I gave myself a goal of my weight and I blog about it every two weeks. This holds me accountable to my readers and it makes me work harder. I also don't weight myself more than once a week…seems like it comes off faster. Also, I work out every other day, no questions asked. Even if I work out at 11:30 at night, then that's what happens.
http://happilyalawmama.blogspot.com/search/label/…
Here's my journey through it so far! Once it starts working, it's easier to keep it up.
My last suggestion…you did the dirty day shred (which thanks to you, I told my husband about it and he's THRILLED) now really stay diligent with the 30 day shred and her other DVDs. I ensure you'll see results.
GOOD LUCK!!
http://spawnofsmith.blogspot.com/2010/07/treading…
I have stopped caring and thus haven’t lost a single pound. I was doing well when I was on the bandwagon but like you it was never good enough. I’m not sure where or when it will ever be enough ( I blame society and PP moms like Giselle Bunchan, since that’s easier than taking responsibility). I look in the mirror everyday and say “okay I can do something today, cut back on something” but I never do and that is the depressing part for me. I think I need to be more focused on health and really just start living life instead of letting my life pass by upset with my muffin top.
I’ve always heard that we hold on to weight as a form of security. I don’t really understand that but I feel like there’s some truth to it.
I’ve realized that there’s no time like now. I’ve set goals to get in shape before, really in shape, and always fail. I’m not getting any younger and I think, what if I had started 6 months/1 year/5 years ago and stuck to it? I’d be there by now! I really want to know what it feels like to be really fit. Watching the months tick by makes it hit home that there’s not going back. Pretty soon it will be 6 months/1 year/5 years from now and I don’t want to be out of shape then, too.
http://andpuppydogstales.blogspot.com/2010/07/mcfatty-monday-week-9.html
I feel like I have been on a journey to lose weight for about 12 years. That was about the time I realized that I wasn't as thin as I used to be. I would exercise here and there, did WW a few times with some success, but ultimately the weight ALWAYS came back. A year and a half ago a friend talked me into training for a 5K. I told her I didn't run unless I was being chased. I ended up training with her anyway.
After I started running I made a decision to just be healthy. I wanted to be fit and active for myself and for my son. I wanted to be around for a long time to see him grow up. Once I stopped "dieting" and looked at food as fuel for my body, a switch flipped. I started losing weight because I was running and focusing on what was best for my body with my sport. I have successfully trained for and ran a half-marathon. I am now training for a marathon. Not bad for a girl that didn't run unless being chased.
You don't have to run, but maybe finding an activity that you are passionate about will help with your journey. I use races as my motivation to keep training. Congrats on your success so far!
Ugh… I so get it! You I stopped carrying because honestly I don't care… I mean I do. I hate the way I look. But I have to remember that I had two kids (via csection) 13 months apart. Now thats not to say my youngest is almost 2 but hey…. who cares? :/ My hubby loves me just the way I am. I don't get bigger… I always stay about the size I am (that is after the baby weight!) I gained 20 lbs after each birth and I can't lose that extra 40 lbs. I try try try… and I do lose weight and then it comes back on… no matter how hard i try. So I am going to be happy with where I am now!
I love the fresh perspective this post has given. Everyone says "make small goals, that way when you attain them you get a boost." Etc, etc, etc. And it's true to a point, but you're right- then you feel like you're ALWAYS trying to lose weight.
Why can't you celebrate hitting milestones along the way to a goal, instead of making the milestones tiny goals themselves? You still feel good but it's not as if you have to start all over every time you hit one.
I have twins and had always maintained a healthy weight before I was pregnant. I also saw every woman in my family who had a baby then struggle with yoyo weight until.. well, they all still are actually. And I swore it would never be me. All those women would tease me about being skinny and say things like "oh, just wait." It made me angry- I ate mostly healthy foods and got lots of exercise, it's not like I was scarfing junk and sitting on my butt and staying thin!
Cut to now- and I haven't lost anything substantial since coming home from the hospital. Maybe 5 pounds, maybe. And they are 9 months old now. I subscribed to the 9 months up, 9 months down thing. I made the excuse of eating enough calories to make enough breastmilk for them(I nursed through 6 months, pump now so they have 1 bottle of milk). I wasn't sleeping so I was eating all hours of the day. And I've been SAH so I would just graze all. day. long. I'm so ashamed that I've made excuse after excuse and I refuse to let it continue.
I've picked a number and aiming for it. It is 4 pounds heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight and I'm fine with that. If it goes back to the pre-pg weight, great- but I'll be happy with my goal number, which for the record is 25 pounds away. I have resumed my pre-pg eating habits. I'm doing the 30DS, for starters in the exercise department. I'm going back to work soon, which will help to keep me from eating whenever I please because I teach so I'll be on a schedule.
But more importantly, I'm committed to providing my girls the example of a healthy, steady lifestyle- not a "diet" and then "normal." I've realized that what my family considers "normal" is not healthy and I will not be another yo-yo example. Instead I will prove to them that if you live healthfully, you can have a healthy weight and be fit and in shape. Even a woman, in this family, after she's had a baby.
I think setting a realistic goal that you can celebrate sooner rather than later will fuel a new interest in your dieting and feed your sense of accomplishment when you hit you mark!!
I've been doing McFatty Monday from the beginning, and the weight came off pretty easily (60 lbs since January), but I'm really struggling to stay motivated these days. I feel good about myself, I'm happy with the way I look, and I am sooo scared that I am going to gain the weight back! My end goal is to lose another 25 or so pounds but I am finding it very hard to stay motivated on the weekends.
You look great!
http://matahouse.blogspot.com/2010/07/mcfatty-mon…
I'm sad to say that I started McFatty Monday 3 weeks ago and rather than lose weight I have gained 3 pounds! I have zero motivation until I have an "I am enormous and feel like a whale" day and then I say I'm going to go run, but when the time comes and its 105 degrees outside I just sit in my recliner and say I'm going to do it tomorrow.
I'm keeping the faith and I won't give up but I really have no idea where to begin. I'm glad you've made a small goal and I know you'll reach it. You've done an amazing job!!!
http://www.kristaswearingen.blogspot.com
I feel like I'm always on a diet. Always trying to lose weight. But even when I do, like I have been while tracking here on McFatty Monday's, I'm still not happy with how I look. I guess I'm learning that it's just not the weight that is a problem, but it's my body image. And I'm not sure how to fix it…
Thanks – today's post is making me think. Usually I'm just jealous of your weight loss!
http://auntp.blogspot.com/2010/07/mcfatty-monday-…
Can I just start off by saying how FABULOUS you look? This isn't because I just love your blog or anything else. This is because seriously, you look fabulous. You're such an inspiration with all you've gone through in the past year or so and that the strong person you are always shines through.
I know what you're saying about it feeling daunting. I've lost over 10 pounds in about 5-6 weeks. It's slow and steady and I should be thrilled with the weight loss. Since having my daughter, I've lost about 40 or so pounds (I took my liberties with cheese fries during my pregnancy), but I still have 63 pounds that I want to lose. I'm not sure if I maybe set the goal too far out of reach. Sure, I have my smaller goals/rewards, but still. That just feels like a looong way to go.
I have thought a lot about how I won't be able to reach my goal and then say "Awesome, now I can eat whatever I want and not have to diet." Nope. I have to watch myself because it would just be too easy to put the weight back on. I think it's true what they say about lifestyle changes. It's important to learn something during the dieting and weight loss that you can stick to so it feels less like dieting and more like second nature. For me it's definitely the portion sizes and not mindlessly eating (being aware if I'm eating because I'm hungry or just because).
http://themommydance1.blogspot.com/2010/07/have-y…
weight loss is about constant re-committment… i really believe that.
you look wonderful… and i know you'll reach your new goal.
i didn't lose this week. but i'm ok with that… i think i've re-found my path… (boring post this week… but wanted to be sure to weigh in, even if i am a day late).
I think that it's great to set an attainable goal. I've got to get back on the wagon. Good luck… I know you can do it!
First, you look fabulous! Second, I am also dealing with losing the baby weight and the two miscarriages before the baby weight. It sucks and I kinda suck at it but you are motivating to me!
A friend told me a great quote today – Dieting is hard. Being fat is hard. Choose your hard. Hopefully it will get me through to the goal.
Love your blog!