You know that feeling that you’re The One in your baby’s life? That above all & everyone, YOU are the one that he prefers. YOU make the difference in his day. YOU are the center of his universe.
Today, I felt that for the the first time in months.
It was simple, really. This morning, Harrison wouldn’t take a bottle from Nate. He fought him & right as Nate was about to give up, I reached out & said, “Here, let me.” Here, let me. They came so naturally after months of fake “let me’s” that were meaningless through the veil of PPD. Here, let me. I took the bottle, took the baby, & sat down in the glider. Pulled him in tight….& he drank. With those big blue eyes gazing up at me.
Here, let me be The One, I seemed to say.
Finally, he seemed to say.
It didn’t matter that this change in our routine made us late, or that I walked into the office without makeup on because he played at my feet while I hurried to get ready. All that mattered in my day today was that I was The One that he wanted. & I recognized it.
Finally.
I am SOOOOO happy beyond words for you! This post literally brought tears to my eyes!!!! I hope you get to keep experiencing moments like this one!!!
made me smile…
Amazing step towards the light! If that doesn't show you you have made a ton of progress I don't know what will.
yay! blair, I'm so happy that you had this moment with your LO and I pray many more moments like this are in your future!
Nice momma! So happy for you both.
awwww! what a great way to start your day
This makes my heart swell for you.
This is awesome!! Here's hoping for lots more moments like that!!
Amazing. I just cried for you. I am having one of the worst weeks possible, and you just made it better, because I pray for you, and am glad to see an answered prayer.
Very happy for you!!! keep it up mama, you're making it through!
oh im tearing up from this! im so so so so so happy for you! TAKE THAT PPD!
And I believe that is a great big PPD ass-kicking! For the risk of sounding oh so 90's… you go girl!! So happy to read this!
How fantastic! I'm so happy for you! You are starting the slow crawl out, and you have seen the light at the end. And Harrison loves you for that
And I agree with Jill … TAKE THAT PPD!!
Just beautiful
Congratulations, B.
That has to feel wonderful.
Beautiful. I am so happy you had that moment today. And wish you many more.
Great to hear! You and Harrison will have more true moments like this & you both deserve it. Keep on top of PPD because you are whooping its a$$!
Blair this brought tears to my eyes. Good for you, and good for Harry.
you are so eloquent here.
i can totally picture the scene. what a blessed little boy. his momma's back!
Oh to be the one! I am jealous. Most days it is "my daddy my daddy" it makes me want to pull the 'I CARRIED YOU FOR TEN MONTHS" card.
But it seems like when she is hurt I am the only ones kisses that work. It is awesome.
That is a wonderful moment!
Wonderful!!! Reading it brought tears to my eyes!!! So happy for you!
This made me tear up. Awesome! =)
Best.Feeling.in.the.World, huh?!? I am so happy for you. I found for us the best days are often the days where the routine got all screwed up and we let life make the schedule. And the greatness of those moments are worth missing makeup or even a shower here and there.
So happy you got to feel that! It's the best! And guess what – you will get to keep on feeling that as he gets older. Because no matter who else is there, what else is goign on, nothing will ever replace how wonderful mommy is at any given moment… ok ok… maybe until he turns 10 and you start embarrassing him in public just by breathing.
xo
this is lovely and amazing and i love it. i can't wait for this feeling too!
You totally made me cry. I am soo happy for you.
Good for you! So happy to read this post!
((hugs)) What a lovely post. I'm so happy for you and Harrison – and for the path you both are on.
AWESOME! So happy for you! What a GREAT change in routine and way to start your day! Hooray!
That was an amazing post… I have never comented before but EXCELLENT!
LOVE!!!
<3 Best feeling in the world.
Oh Blair, how beautiful and wonderful!! I am so very happy for you and your Harrison!
I have been reading for quite some time…before Harrison was born to be exact. I have commented on occasion. I just want to tell you that was such a beautiful post. My heart is happy for you and I wish many more moments like this for you!
I am beyond happy for you. I got goose bumps and my eyes teared up.
I hope that you continue on the right path. It's definitely worth it.
I'm so happy you had this day today. I hope you have a million more.
This post brought tears to my eyes. So happy for you right now.
I too now have goosebumps!
Beautiful beautiful beautiful beautiful!!!! I'm so happy for you, and am tearing up. You go, mama. Praying and hoping for more and more moments like this.
this made me cry.. good for you mama.. so proud of the journey you are on..
You deserve to feel that way. I am so happy you finally felt it.
I know the feeling exactly and am SO glad you felt it. You deserve it and so many more of those moments are to come.
You ARE the One to him! ::smiles::
This is like a heart wrapped in a rainbow topped with frosting and sprinkled with gold glitter. Awesome.
Blair, I have been reading your blog for close to a year now and never have I commented even though I've been entertained and touched by so many of your entries. I guess the reason I'm finally commenting now is because I want you to know that for every horrible, negative, self-righteous, and judgemental comment you receive, there are 20 OTHER readers who stand behind you applauding your strength, your honesty, and your refusal to give up. Thanks for "keeping it real" even if it's not all roses and cupcakes. That's what keeps us all coming back, week after week… Not because we want to relish in your latest challenge or struggle, but because you've become a role model of how to overcome and succeed. So thanks B, and keep up the good (and meaningful) work.
…aaaaand this post made me cry, in a good way. I feel so hopeful for you Blair. I honestly think your fog is lifting. I can see it, can you?
OH this made me smile so big. Really it did. Such a good feeling. Makes me happy to know that you are THE one. Harry has always known…I know it. xo
It really is the best feeling ever, isn't it? Hold on to that amazing feeling! Love the blog and miss you on the bump!
Isn't that the best? When I've had my days where I feel like an awful mommy and one of my girls reaches out to me because she fell or needs a hug or is excited to see me after work it reminds me that they love me no matter what I've done that day, or how I feel about myself. I have to remind myself that they don't need me to be perfect they just need ME. I know you will have more moments like this!
Oh Blair…this gave me chills. I am SO happy for you that you and Harrison shared this moment! How incredibly special for the both of you.
Congratulations!! What a great moment…
LOVE THIS!!
This brought tears to my eyes. This freakin' ROCKS!
I dont comment much. But this post was just so sweet. Love it.
Oh, B – this is awesome.
*tear* so very sweet. So happy for both you and H.
Beautiful!
That's what motherhood is all about ~ enjoying the small moments and letting everything else slide. (good for you going to work without makeup but taking the time to spend with your little one. that's a tough thing to do in our society where so much emphasis is put on 'having it all together'. most days there simply isn't time for everything and something has to be let slide.)
hallelujah! this made me tear up for you.
Tear
Beautiful.