2010 June 10 | Heir to Blair

It’s been kind of a crazy week.

We use the word crazy around here still

We began cloth diapering, which has so far turned out to be a hilarious adventure. Nate loves it just as much as I do (that fluffy butt on Harrison is irresistible), but he did leak last night. So tonight we tripled it up & he’s so fluffy in front that he can’t even sleep on his tummy. Which means that we stand by his crib & snicker for a good ten minutes at night. It warms my heart.

Today was an okay day. It was Harpie’s due date, & “Harpie dates” always feel bittersweet to me. But I just stuck my foot in a dried glob of Harrison vom & for some reason, it made me smile. (I will also be pulling out our little carpet steamer after I finish writing this). I still have my job, my family, & my health & so today is a good day & there is so much to be thankful for, no matter what the calendar says today or what I felt earlier this week.

I’m thankful for…

1. Dreaming big with my husband about work sheds, offices, & room to stretch our legs.

2. Erasable colored pencils in a tin cup on my desk.

3. Walks in the sunshine with clients rather than sitting at a conference table.

sun through trees40 300x73 Thankful on a Thursday.

4. Fluffy butts that are just so darn cute. & husbands that look forward to it just as well.

5. Calculaters. So underappreciated. Because of calculaters, I don’t have to do actual math in my head or on paper. GLORIOUS.

6. Hot chocolate, even when it’s hot outside.

Photo 19 249x300 Thankful on a Thursday.

7. Harpie, I love you still. For all the good that has happened because of your sweet little life, for the little boy sucking his thumb in the other room, & for the knowledge that one day, I’ll know you. Happy due date, baby.

IMG 1567 300x204 Thankful on a Thursday.

HeirtoBlair500x150 v41 Thankful on a Thursday.

Y’all, this is “Kit.” & I love her. She writes Blogging Dangerously, one of the most hilarious, irreverent, no-gloves blogs I have ever read in my life. She likes to write about sex, but she’s writing on a more serious note today. But if you’d like to read about her college flings, married sex, & the Marine that was “hung like a gerbil,” then RUN to her blog & add it to your Google Reader.

She’s also sweet as sugar, but don’t tell anyone because it might ruin her reputation.

(& if you don’t follow her on Twitter, SHAME ON YOU. She’s hysterical.)

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Sometimes I’m not sure if my readers are more shocked by the WAY I talk about sex on my blog – or by the fact that I actually HAVE sex and 4 young children under 7. The resounding comment on my blog is, “I will try to remember these things in case my husband/wife and I EVER have sex again!”

And you know what? I get it. For a few years there it felt like the only time my husband and I had sex was when we were actively trying to get pregnant. And after the second or third night of “trying” we were ready to wait a month until the next window.

Sometimes the most intimate we were was just leaving the other one alone in the bedroom to make magic alone and then get some much needed sleep. We weren’t going for movie-style intimacy, we were just trying to hang onto some semblance of our sexuality.

After my 4^th daughter was born it got much more difficult. First of all we had 3 young children who were keeping us hopping during the day and a newborn who was keeping us awake all night. Then, YEARS of breastfeeding had taken their toll on my estrogen level and I was just NOT IN THE MOOD. And when I WAS in the mood my body wouldn’t cooperate so it hurt – pain is definitely NOT an aphrodisiac!

I talked to my doctor and she gave me an estrogen based lubricant that worked wonders. First of all it helped during sex but then the estrogen was absorbed and helped me get to the point that I no longer needed it. If you think that you have a physical issue (pain, or anything that’s not like it used to be) please ask your doctor.

Once we’d resolved that issue we ran straight into another issue – timing. I’m a night person. I have a lot of things to do during the day and I can’t relax completely until they’re done and everything is put away and things are in their proper place and my face is washed and my teeth are brushed, etc.

My husband is more laid back but when he’s tired he’s TIRED. Bedtime for him is LIGHTSOUT, no talking, keep your hands to yourself time. So you can see what I mean about timing issues. Day after day he would walk into my home office and get shot down. Night after night I would roll toward him only to have him roll away.

And it was okay, our marriage was strong enough. But after a while I realized that it didn’t HAVE to be. We didn’t have to have a lackluster sex life because we had a strong marriage. Sure, on the weeks where we all came down with a stomach bug it was good to know that sex could take a back burner but during the weeks when things were going well it was equally good to know that I was married to a man who could curl my toes – TWICE.

We started trying to be more flexible. I realized that if I was in the mood during the day we could squeeze some time together into 15 minutes – certainly less time than I was allowed for lunch – and easily shorter than a nap. We started going to bed earlier.

And the more sex we managed to have, the more we thought about sex, and the more sex we ended up having. There were weeks when we had sex 5 times – and they were followed by weeks where we didn’t have sex at all. And then there were weeks after weeks after weeks when we had sex twice. There was really no pressure to keep score but the point was that we were in the habit of having sex instead of the habit of NOT having sex. And while our marriage may have been strong enough to withstand NOT having sex, it was nice that it didn’t HAVE TO. There was no pressure to have newlywed sex but it was nice to be enjoying my body with a man who could curl my toes - TWICE.