I fell off the bandwagon.

okay.  I didn’t really FALL off it considering there were 8 days in there where I didn’t have a choice on what to eat, 3 days before that when I didn’t eat at all, & then this past week has been more about getting my feet back on the ground versus worrying what I put in my mouth (insert dirty pun HERE).   & as a result, I gained weight.  Not because I wasn’t eating a specific food, but because I WASN’T SPECIFIC ABOUT MY FOOD.

I wasn’t specific about eating all my veggies.  Watching my portions when people brought us food.  Just saying “no” to a chocolate chip cookie during a movie.  I wasn’t specific about eating an egg every morning, so I wasn’t getting the protein to keep me from being hungry.  Small, simple things that make a HUGE difference.

I’ve learned my lesson.  My jeans are tight on me, my shirts are tighter, I feel just..ick.  & I’m back on the bandwagon.

Not that I look BAD, per say.  Yep, me in a bathing suit!!  (note to self: more running is required to tone legs.  you’ll thank yourself in august) But I just need to keep losing.  & you LUCKY DUCKS, not only a picture, but a video, too!

Can I just say that sometimes, vlogs make me stabby?  Because I NEVER take time to get pretty for them.  So you get to see me with a MUFFIN TOP over my jeans with my too-tight tshirt that my mother-in-law washed in hot water & then dried on heavy-duty while I was in the hospital (thought that counts, Blair.  thought that counts).  With no makeup, hair slapped up in a loop because that was (somehow) better than wearing it down air-dried.

yeah.  I hate all of you that look so darling & well-done in yours.  I should put more effort into vlogs, but let’s just consider MY vlogs quality over vanity.  Or something like that.  & you know, my SERIOUS HARDCORE muffin top in this vlog is just inspiration to keep losing:

Also, we’ll pull the Flip out next time for better quality, but you get the gist.  Watch your portions.  Use a smaller plate.  Talk like Paula Deen.  I even went a little heavy on the portion I made for myself & ended up not eating all of it, so give yourself permission to do that if you overload it!

Also, about a month ago someone sent me a very sweet email about anti-depressants in correlation with weight gain & my worries & I promised her I’d address them – YES.  I am worried.  I gained 30 lbs on Celexa in college & I refuse to do that again.  I think the anti-depressants just make you more…apathetic towards the food you eat.  Like you know that the cookie will go straight to your hips but the drug that mellows you out JUST DOESN’T CARE, MMKAY?!  But I do know this – maintaining my self-esteem right now is just as important as taking that tiny pink pill in the morning.  Maintaining my weight, something I’ve worked hard for & feeling good about myself ARE MEDICATIONS in their own, special little way.  It’s not about becoming Flexi Lexi Anorexi on y’all.  I don’t want to be trivial & petty in a time like this.  But I also know that it would be MORE depressing to pack the pounds back on & watch the scale go up at this time.  So Nutrisystem, THANK YOU.  THANK YOU for controlling my portions for me 90% of the time.  THANK YOU for telling me exactly what to eat.  It takes one more thing off my mind & in a weird way, y’all are working on my  physical AND mental health with me.

So, what are you doing about portions?  I’m using a food scale this week for the first time ever – eek!  I’ll let you know how that goes.

What are you focusing on this week?  If you’ve fallen off the bandwagon before to get back on, I WOULD LOVE some advice & encouragement, please!  I hope you had MUCH better success this past week.

required disclaimer: i am being supplied with nutrisystem food by nutrisystem, free of cost to me.  sweet, right?  but i assure you, i began nutrisystem on my own in january, spent my own money for 4 months, & fully endorse the program.  i’m just thankful that they’ll be helping me out on my last leg of the journey!  to join me on the Nutrisystem program and to receive a special offer, call 1-877-704-0597 or click here.