My child threw up in my mouth today.
You read that correctly.
MY CHILD. THREW UP. IN MY MOUTH.
It started off so sweetly innocent. He sat on the bed, shaking a sock happily while I folded laundry & I got the urge to learn over to play with him. So I did. Because I don’t fight those urges – I soak them up when they come crashing in. So we’re giggling, smothering eachother in slobber, I tickle him, &….
MY CHILD THREW UP IN MY MOUTH.
At first, I didn’t know what happened. ”What the hell is THAT taste?” I asked & then OH EM GEE ::brain click:: The worst part? Having to hold it in my mouth until I could get to the bathroom to spit it out. Sour. Acid. In my mouth. If you’ve never tasted regurgitated Nutramigen…well, you’re one lucky folk. It tastes like hot, moldy, sour athletic socks worn by an entire football team for an entire season, then left out in the summer rains & 105-degree heat, then blended into a HOT MARGARITA OF SKANKY ASS.
I’m not exaggerating.
I ran to the bathroom, Harry on my hip, & spit into the sink. & spit. & spit. & spit until I was pretty sure I was spitting out pieces of my own stomach, & then I took Nate’s powered toothbrush to my teeth, tongue, cheeks, & even that dangly thing in the back (enter gag reflex jokes here, here, & here. Just don’t tell Nate). & immediately felt zero sympathy for myself & all the sympathy in the world for Harrison, who lives with this on a daily basis. No wonder he’s so pissy sometimes.
As someone so aptly deemed it on Twitter, I feel like I just got hazed into parenthood. 7 months later.
o.m.g. i laughed so hard at the last line, i think i peed a little in my underpants! it's a right of passage, as you said…you've officially been 'hazed' and lovin every minute of it, makes you the best Mama Harrison could have!
Oh, Holy Hell. That is awful. The image of you attempting to get it out of your mouth is hilarious, though. Hazing sucks. Sounds like a good excuse for something delicious instead!
Ewwww… thank you for making me now run to the sink and spit, and spit, and spit. Gross.
Ohhhh Lord have mercy! (That's what my mama used to say!)
That sounds like quite the n-a-s-t-y experience! I haven't had puke in my mouth – but I have had drool in my eye – like in my retina! Nothing compared to this adventure tho!
LOVE your blog!
SO funny but soooo gross at the same time!! try some listerine…that should burn that pukey taste away.
I had had this exact same experience. Except that my daughter threw up my own breastmilk into my own mouth!
i did a dry heave gag and then giggled, then gagged again on my giggle when I read this. Nast.
OMG. That was so funny (to read) i am sure it was less fun in reality. I had that experience with my daughter a few months ago – i decided to hold her above my head and drop her down for a kiss – yep she puked on the way down. Peas and breast milk. In my mouth. And somehow down my shirt. Ugh. I used a lot of Listerine to help kill the taste.
Barf. Literally.
And, I though that peeking in the back of the diaper to check for poo and ending up with sh** under my nails was gross….this was um, like one million times grosser! You two share a really unique bond now!
Oh no, I can't imagine how awful that must have been, for both of you! I've been vomited on more times than I can count, in my hair & down my shirt, you name it – but that takes the cake!
I gagged reading this, the mere thought made me want to puke.
ZOMG ewwwwww! I've been puked on plenty, but never in my mouth! ::shudders::
Um. ew.
I gagged… that is one of my fears, Addison hurls SO often and we always play 'airplane' with her… ::shudder:: I would have chucked right then and there, so kudos for making it to the sink!
<3 Stefani
Oh my goodness. Your mother son bond just went to a WHOLE new level!
eeek!!
gg….gg…gg…. gag.
Nice job using Nate's brush hehehe
Poor little fella. Here's hoping he gets old and puke free soon!!
Ick. I dread this all the time….I threw up in my mom's mouth when I was like 2.5 years old…I know there is destined to be payback…lol
I had the same moment Angie did! My husband who is quite a bit taller than me was holding the baby and I went in for a big moosh moosh kiss and BARF! My own regurgitated breastmilk. In my mouth.
Between that and the day I stuck my finger in the diaper to see HOW wet and came out w/ sh!t under my fingernails… I imagine it only gets better from here. Right? RIGHT??!!
a.) OH MY GOD I'm so sorry, that's just awful. Awful
2.) I'm scared now because my kid was never a puker, he's over a year old, so therefore I have not been "hazed" yet….what is he going to do to me????
i am sad to report i know EXACTLY what that is like. When I was younger my baby sister threw up in my mouth. I was holding her above my head and she had just eaten. It was HORRIBLE. Her esophagus wasn't fully developed as a baby and everything came up. I should have known not to do it but….I'll never forget it.
Yeah I've been there- so super fun. Mine happened when I was sitting on the couch and my husband was standing and handing me my 5 month old, so she was above me and puked all over my face- glasses, mouth, hair- and the best part was my husband laughing so hard he couldn't immediately help me- oh the joys of motherhood.
That's gross. And disgusting. And I may have puked a little in my own mouth.
I learned a few weeks ago that there is a huge difference between spit up and puke. That adventure ended with puke down the inside of my shirt though. Yum, vomit boobs.
However, I was holding my nephew once, who upon being held over me and was told to tell his aunty night-night, found myself with a mouthful of his spit-up/water/whatever else he had been holding in his mouth.
Ewww!
A few years back, when my nephew was a little baby I was holding him up over my head and playing with him. He threw up in my eye. It burned very badly.
Been there. I leaned over to kiss my older son when he was five or six months old, and he puked in my mouth. It wasn't nutramigen puke, though, thank God. That crap smells bad enough going in…I can only imagine the taste when it comes back out.
Okay, I sooo had this happen also!! It is nasty, and more nasty!! I was at a friends house also…figures… My little girl went to give me an open mouth kiss while I was talking and luckily I closed my mouth but tons still got in…I feel your pain and grossed out feeing..totally like being hazed into parenthood….no better way to describe it.
That was ME who said that on Twitter! Hooray!
Ps. I kind of feel famous by association. Is that creepy? #toobadletmehavethisonethingmylifeischaosrightnow
OMG…I laughed so hard at your description of what it is like. Sorry this happened to you…I have not experienced this yet but am sure I will one day! The other day I found a booger on my neck….my little girl was nuzzling her face in my neck as I was rocking her to sleep and left me a present….the joys of motherhood!
http://www.bakersfamilyblog.com
New here. Love. I have never laughed so hard as when my firstborn threw up in my mother's mouth and then she was awesome enough to take the time to document it with a photo. EEEEWWWWWW!!!
I'll be back.
OMG this is so horrible and hysterical at the same time. The things we endure as Mommies. I love the title!
Nutramigen before it's consumed is pretty disgusting, can't imagine regurgitated.
My daughter puked in my mouth when she was sick. I think I sat there for a second wondering what the heck to do since it was also down my shirt. Oh the life of a mom
Been. there. Done. That.
*shudder*
Never again (i hope). Just do what I do… sweetly whisper in Harry's ear that when you are very very old, you are looking forward to vomiting in his mouth.
I do that with poop. I tell J that when I'm old, every time I know he is coming to visit and change my depends, I'm gonna eat prunes.
Reading that seriously made me gag. That must of been so horrible! Poor mama and baby.
ohhh lady. i haven't had the dubious "pleasure" of this experience, but my husband can empathize.
and i'm not gonna lie, i gagged a bit when it happened to him, and then laughed my ass off. kinda like i just did reading your post.
::DEAD::
I believe you just won your own throw p story contest.
Ewwww. That sucks. I've been there, only not quite as far "there" as you…..when it happened to me it was just a little regurgitated breast milk which tasted oddly sweet. It was still gross, but nothing like what you described!
Way to hold it together and not wretch back on Harrrison!!! LOL!
I hate to say this, but I've been there too. Ick! She was about two months old and spit up almost her entire bottle as soon as I got her upright to burp her. It was all over my face, down my shoulder, in my hair, but the worst was that it got in my mouth. One day I am sure it will be worse when it is actually vomit…the joys of motherhood.
I'm sure not too many people watched this show in our age group, but there was a joke about that on The Cosby Show once. I've been bracing for it myself every since then. So sorry and ICK!
I have been lucky enough to taste my children's vomit (well, I suppose one would more politely call it "spit up") not once, but twice. The first time, I was lying on my back on my bed, holding my baby boy directly above me, playing "airplane." Turned out to be a bomber plane, as he torpedoed a stream of regurgitated breast milk directly into my open mouth. Bullseye!
The second time was a little less direct, but equally repugnant. My husband and I were celebrating a promotion he had just gotten, by sharing a bottle of champagne. We were standing outside on our porch on a beautiful California evening, I with baby #2 on my hip. I took another sip of the delightful bubbly, only to be shocked by the suddenly sour and vile liquid, and promptly and forcefully spit it out, spraying the concoction all over our porch. Sweet little baby had urped into my champagne glass while I was unawares.
I never realized what a common rite of Mommy passage this seems to be!
Oh holy hell. I'm hysterically laughing at this while gagging at the same time. I'm not laughing out loud though, bc then it'll happen to me.
Holy shit, dude. That is hilarious… but gross. Hot margarita of skanky ass! Hahahahaha! You kills me.
I just have to say… this is exactly what I'm afraid of. And I know that it's going to happen at our house one of these days!!!
Oh the joys of parenthood
I had something similar happen once and I am scarred for life. I say they use that tactic as torture methods for gaining terrorist information— what man would be able to take that?!
OMG poor you! And Harrison! Icck!
i remember the first time that happened to me. it was awful and i nearly threw my child across the room. reflex.