MomNom: When Mommy Bloggers snack on other Mommy Bloggers.
om nom nom nom….you hear that? It’s the sound of moms eating moms.
Like the vulture I saw on the side of the rode. Eating poor Bambi that didn’t have the vertical leap needed to clear the car. ::sad vom face::
I’m not talking your typical “Mommy Wars.” I’m so not talking boob versus bottle, staying home versus working, or girls playing with trucks & boys playing with lipstick. That is SO NOT where I am going on this.
I’m talking about Mommy Bloggers versus Mommy Bloggers.
& despite what most men are wont to think, it’s not sexy & cute & we’re not flinging pillows topless in boxers. It’s much, much uglier. When I first started working with Jockey, my buddy there & I were talking about the “mommy-blogosphere.” Where we think it’s going, what sponsors are doing, & relationships between bloggers. I naively replied that as cheesy as it sounds, there was this whole huge universe of internet that allowed everyone to fit. & all I had come across was warm reception, advice, & support from other mom-bloggers.
Apparently, I just had not met the cranky ones.
I’d look up links at this point but I’m not into naming names for the hell of it. & I’m also really lazy today. It’s not really relevant to the story even though they’re main characters for the point I WILL EVENTUALLY GET TO. geez.
Long story short – you have two bloggers. With similar names to their blogs, which also happen to be snippets of a lyric from a very popular song. One blog is obviously for personal use – a few giveaways, but mostly to chronicle family life. Maybe ads in the future, & a small but loyal following. The other blog is…bigger. It ha it’s own .com & is a member of an advertising whatever-it-is-that-you-earn-money-from-clicks.
& out of the clear blue sky falls a DM into the lap of the “smaller” blogger from the “bigger” blogger, telling her to change her blog name because it’s the “bigger” blog’s brand & trademark.
::unladylike snort::
The smaller blogger ignores the request. Because the whole thing is silly. & is then bullied over Tweets & Direct Messages by the bigger blogger’s Twitter pals & “marketing team” to change her blog name OR ELSE.
I’m sorry. ::more muffled giggles:: Really, I’m sorry. I just can’t stop laughing.
I’ve talked about “brand” before. I’m going to talk even MORE about it tomorrow. But when I say “brand,” I mean the style of writing. A style of relating with your readers, sponsors, & cohorts. The type of followers. The purpose of writing. Not a blog title, or trademark, or a copyright or a “team” of pimps marketers friends hounding direct messages over Twitter.
(p.s. Twitter = fun for random thoughts, passive-aggressive immaturity, & general attention-whoring. it is not an appropriate business venue)
The smaller blogger was attacked for having a similar Twitter name, blog name, & OH MY GOD, DARING to have red in her custom blog design as well. I do believe there was even a comment about how both blogger’s names started with the same letter. THE HORROR!! THE INFRINGEMENT!
THE RIDICULOUSNESS. Because what followed was a Cease & Desist order over email with a deadline regarding a PENDING trademark. Pending. With the threat of involving attorneys should the smaller blogger not change her blog name.
Does everyone have the chuckles now? Because I still do.
Infringement? Hardly. Two separate blogs. Two separate purposes. Two different designs. What they have in common is that they claim to like Jesus & are both mothers, although in this instance, it seems to me that the smaller blogger was the only one sporting her WWJD? bracelet that day. After many tears, the smaller blogger threw in the towel to get the bigger blogger & her Twitter friends off her back, changed her url, name, & Twitter identity. What a pain in the rear, right?
So here’s my question: If the “bigger” blogger was so brand-conscious, why did she not promote & protect her brand with grace & class? Was an over-the-top ninja chop to the url-throat necessary? Why did she not simply email the “smaller” blogger with a casual email – “Hey! Guess what, it looks like we have way similar taste. HOW TOTALLY COOL, I bet we would be friends in real life. Just a heads up that I have a pending trademark, so you may want to think about changing your url & stuff over the next few months, just to make sure everything is kosher.”
See? That’s a nice, sweet email. That says “hey, we’re all in this together.” Rather than I AM MOMMY BLOGGER, HEAR ME ROAR.
Because it screams insecurity. It screams “I FEEL THREATENED.” Why not grow? If you feel that someone is starting to cramp into your style unintentionally, then it probably means that you’re stale & needing to branch out. Grow yourself. Do something new that the other one can’t offer. Take off the thong stuck up your rear & stay interesting.
There is a time to roar. That time is when we are attacked by non-mommy bloggers for being lazy, selfish, & exploitative. & there is a time to brush each others hair, tell ourselves that Oreos do not contain calories, & support our individual endeavors. & remember that “brand” isn’t always about the color of your web page & how many hits your garner.
_______________________
because I know it’s coming….
If it were me, what would I do? In the scenario listed above, nothing.
If it was a scenario where I stumbled across “Blair’s Heirs” where the author was also under the pen name of Blair with a Harrison, a Nate, with bluebirds & cupcakes. Let’s say she had the same layout design, & that a few days after each post, she came up with one eerily similar more than 50% of the time. Or copied my posts. Yes, I would contact her. But still be polite. & not involve Twitter.
Filed under: Unpopular opinions, blog crap
This reminds me of something I’ve meant to ask – are you at all worried about issues with Gossip Girl and whatever network it’s on? Has it ever come up? Just curious.
nah, never come up
There’s nothing to tie me to Gossip Girl or the CW, other than the common names of Blair & Nate & the fact that I’ve stated that I used to watch the show when we had cable. If it were ever an issue, I’d simply begin blogging under our real names.
Thank you for posting this. I have a mini-series going on (in which you’ve contributed) to spotlight a variety of bloggers (not just moms) to show my readers what blogging can and should look like, or at least damn good examples!
I have written a post (not yet published) about why I blog and how at times I get caught up in the hoopla of “mommy bloggers”…that term makes me shudder. I’m a mom who blogs, I’m also a wife, friend, daughter, woman….I fit a variety of “brands”. And in the end I write for myself and others who try to tell me otherwise and can take a long walk off a short pier, with their fancy shmancy lawyers and infringement talks.
I look forward to your blog about bliggity blogging.
Big Mommy Blogger sure wasn’t raised on sweet tea, fried chicken and pearls. If she had been, she’d've minded the manners her mama gave her when she laid the e-smackdown on Little Mommy Blogger. And if Big Mommy Blogger IS from the South, Scarlett O’ Hara is rolling over in her grave. The story mentioned is ludicrous.
wow I’m sitting here stunned.. what a b*tch!
Definitely screams insecurity and threats on her part. I wouldn’t change my URL or anything from someone acting like that that’s for sure
Ugh, SO glad to read this. As a little blogger in a great big pond, I often feel atleast “out of the clique.” It’s nice to know that some big bloggers will defend us little girls out there!
Thanks, Blair. Loves ya
Love above Miranda’s comment. Also Love your post title. Thanks for sharing.
Very well said!
Wow, how lame and immature. Was it MckMama? It sounds right up her WWJD lovin’ alley.
Um…holy crap.
I can’t believe someone would do that silliness. What is with people?
I’m sorry, Blair
Don’t change your URL, your page, ANYTHING!
I cannot believe the above actually happened. I’m still giggling just thinking about it.
And since when do Oreo’s have calories?!?! I think that’s the bigger issue here!
I’m dying to know who the big and little bloggers are!
I am so not suprised. There are hate sites out there dedicated to really just hating on certain mommy bloggers- it if were not such a crazy trainwreck I would be more amused. I hate the term branding- like we’re cattle or something- very annoying. I blog because I want to and have no ambition to get ads or any other such thing- so I guess I don’t really get it- but I have to wonder what it says about our society that women in the same communities just cannot get along. I think it has to do with women always being pushed to compete with eachother over trivial things and the push to be a certain kind of mom. I don’t know- but now I have to google all of this – or not- you know what it did for the cat-
“If you feel that someone is starting to cramp into your style unintentionally, then it probably means that you’re stale & needing to branch out. ”
Great point. And post.
I’m not a mommy yet, admittedly, but I think most of your points could apply to anyone in the blogosphere. Especially the part about no calories in oreos.
I actually read Little Mommy Blogger (who I won’t name since like you said, is unimportant) and have never even heard of Big Mommy Blogger until all of this happened.
If you have Little Mommy Bloggers new URL, please pass it along. I loved her and her red custom design.
I’ve been following you since before the tri boards with HJ and still love your “brand” whatever that means. Thanks for keeping your pearls on and your panties out of your arse.
Maybe Big Mommy Blogger should read that post you wrote about mommies being a sisterhood.
I think Big Mommy Blogger needs to take a chill pill.
Preferably in suppository form.
Thanks for bringing light to this. I read Little Mommy Blogger and almost lost her through this whole debacle. That sure was more stress and heartache than she needed. She is the bigger person in this mess and I’m so glad that it’s behind her. Oh, and her new blog totally rocks it, so it’s probably a big ole blessin’!
Also, lurvin your new look!
I think this is an awesome post (with an even more awesome point!) and I think that it really stems from this competition that Moms seem to have with each other. Which just breeds children who are always trying to step on each other to be the best. Which leads to just regular childhood/teenage bullying. It’s a horribly vicious cycle.
I actually read a post on the big mommy blogger where she was talking about this and how much it was stressing her out, and I was thinking “Wow! Why are you freaking out so much about this!?!”. It seemed so petty. Needless to say I didn’t add her to my blog roll.
I don’t think I ever read Little Mommy Blogger, but I would be interested to read her. She seems like she’s got a good head on her shoulders
Totally agree. I have been scared more than once to do something on my own blog, afraid that one of the big bad mommy bloggers would come and get me for having a similar design or idea, even though I write completely differently – and about my OWN family!
I work for a magazine, so I’m no stranger to copyright infringement, cloning ideas, etc. It’s such a fine line to walk.
But seriously? These are blogs. Mommy bloggers 95 percent of the time are writing about their OWN families. As long as they aren’t stealing your life and directly copying things from you, let’s not flip out right?
Can someone send me the link to the “little” blogger? I want to support her
Meh. I’d shrug it off. Nothing says you’re doing something RIGHT then having pissed off a bunch of people along the way.
I don’t know that bullying-ninja-throatchops are necessary, but in the cyber world they are a normality so again, something to shrug off.
Had this been the real World, and a mom and pop organic coffee shop and roaster opened next to Starbucks, I don’t think starbucks would send their “baristas” to go shake down mom and pop…
But, we are in the cyber World, where there are rules, but no one cares, no one follows them and everyone can be a new person with a new screen name every day.
I’d laugh. I’d keep blogging. And maybe, I’d make a special “anti-giant mommy blog” coalition to take the bitch down.
Way to support the little Moms Blair. Thanks!
I think Big Mommy Blogger just lost a lot of support, and Little Mommy Blogger just gained a bunch. If there is an underground communication source for Little Mommy Blogger’s url, I’d love to start reading her in support as well.
I agree – it sounds like someone reverted back to middle school to bully someone into doing something. Grow up.
I would like to support the “little” blogger…can someone point me in the right direction?
Somehow, I think Big Blogger might think she is still in middle school. Girls can be so petty…women should not be.
this is great, I love everyone standing up for the little blogger!
I too would like to support her, if there is something going around, can it be DM’d to me on twitter @mplnd
thanks!
WTF?! Seriously? I just don’t get women. We should support one another! don’t we have enough BS in the world to deal with, without putting each down?
Big Mommy Blogger needs to get off her high horse. Little does she know she just killed her brand.
And if I wasn’t a bigger person and had some FU money I would apply for the patent and pull it out from under her nose. hahaha! But of course Scarlet would never approve
GO LITTLE MOMMY BLOGGERS!
PS I would like this picture placed on a Tshirt please. It cracks me up!
I am glad you wrote this and I think it’s well said. However, I feel like I`m totally out of the loop b/c I have no idea who Big or Little Mommy blogger is. I feel like the unpopular girl in middle school.
I had no idea about the dark side of the blogosphere.
Big Mommy Blogger sounds like a huge tool though.
Blair,
Do not worry about this. You have a natural affinity for writing and a very relatable story. You keep doing what you are doing and ignore the haters (even if they threaten law suits).
Keep on the road you are on!
Chrisa
I must know the identities of said mommy bloggers. Please help a newb blog reader!
For everyone asking – the Little Mommy Blogger’s new domain is http://www.mom-nom.com and I am sure she would love your support!
Do you have any idea how rare it is for me to actually KNOW who the Big Blogger and Little Blogger in a post like this are? Very rare.
I AM DYING TO TELL EVERYONE, because I’m totally like that, absolutely not the bigger person, completely willing to send traffic in Little Blogger’s direction. I mean, how bad is it for me to do that?
Okay, I’ve made my decision. Please don’t hate me too much, but look, your commenters are curious! (Seriously, please don’t hate me too much…)
Little Blogger’s new URL is http://mom-nom.com
At least, that’s if this post is about who I think it’s about. Like I said, it’s rare that I actually have any idea what’s going on.
Oh, THANK GOODNESS someone else put it out there too. I must have spent the last ten minutes hovering over the submit comment button, completely unsure about whether or not I was about to be blacklisted by the mom blog community.
Anonymous,
Sarah, you are killing me!! In the best way possible meaning I am laughing so hard picturing you tapping your mouse in indecisive self-hell.
LOL it was seriously like that! I hate making decisions like that.
My husband says I’m like an ostrich. I see a choice ahead of me, so I stick my head in the sand lol.
from little mom’s blog, i was able to find big mom’s blog, and personally, i think little mom’s blog is much better- too much going on in big mom world!
you go little mom! i think she speaks for all the rest of us little bloggers out in the big blog world!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by mountainmomma18 and Heir to Blair Blog, Planet Mommy. Planet Mommy said: Heir to Blair: MomNom: When Mommy Bloggers snack on other Mommy Bloggers. http://planetmommy.org/65c62 [...]
I am quite fond of the ladies that revealed little mom’s (snicker) blog url. If I could follow with a cool little person (snicker) avatar on the side, I would. But for now I’m adding her as my favorite.
Awesome(sauce)
Oh and if anyone wants to be so daring as to point someone in the direction of the big mommy blog, I promise not to hold it against you and will appropriately LOL.
So throwing my support to “little” mom as I am a blogging baby myself.
is it this?
http://www.feelslikehomeblog.com/
Blair, will you privately email me the link of the “little” blogger? I’d love to read and support her!
JT – that is the meanie, yes.
Wait, JT – is that the “big blogger”?
I feel so smart! Yep… Add me to the list who prefer the “little blogger”… that big blog looked like a hot mess.
I’m LOLing at someone with 86 followers thinking they are a “branded” top mommy blogger. WTDeuce? Props to the little blogger for being the bigger person in this whole ordeal.
You make me laugh, I love the way you write
PS. I’m so glad you said bluebirds, you’ll see why soon… la la la laaaa!
I get so crabby when we can’t all just get along! I read stuff that entertains me, not because it’s a “brand” or because it’s a big name or whatever. You fail to entertain? You lose me. Simple, really.
You, Blair, entertain. Thanks!
i love the new layout! and i don’t get why people bully especially when they have children. goes straight over my head…
oh wow, the DRAMA! So frustrating when blogging becomes all about competition. I agree with you, why not just support one another, and leave the cattiness out.
I love your new layout. Such a cute family!
I tend to dislike a lot of “mommy bloggers” because, quite frankly, they’re freaking annoying. And so many of them get this holier-than-thou-I’m-a-mommy-kiss-my-feet mentality. SO many think they’re bigger than they really are! They write as if they’re so amazing and everyone should be HONORED to be able to read about their fabulous lives. I think the blog kingdom is an amusing one lol. Anyway, I’m def going ot support little mommy just to spite big mommy. What a douche she was about the whole deal. I hope her loyal following rapidly declines!
That said… Blair – I freaking LOVE your blog! And for some reason, I don’t consider you a “mommy blogger”…even though you are, I guess. I think I just see you as a super rad chick, who writes awesome, true stuff, who just so happens to have an adorable son. Meh – Whatever. All that to say, you’re awesome. I love your honesty and wit. Keep up the good work
-faithful follower!
Big blogger = the suck.
well said blair. and way to go “little blogger” for not responding antagonistically! it’s so sad that “big blogger” acted like that. like you said she needs to pull her panties out of her arse.
if http://www.feelslikehomeblog.com/ is truly the “big bad blogger” then wow. WOW. she sucks. Don’t know if it’s my computer or what…but UGH. everything is a big hot mess over there. Ads all over the place, can’t read some of her posts. Wow.
Wow.. if that is the big mommy blogger’s site… it sucks. Hardcore. She should’ve spent more time working on her incredibly sucky, hard to read layout than harassing the little mommy. Yuck.
Wow…. this is SOOOO boring.
WTH happened to blogging about motherhood? Are ALL your readers OTHER “mommy bloggers”? Cause if not I don’t see how on earth you got comments from 60 people who give 2 shiz’s about some mommy blogger war going on.
How funny! Honestly, if someone started writing Ravings of a Crazy Housewife I would probably laugh and move on. I mean, there are THOUSANDS of blogs on the internet! How many different ways can you name a mommy blog? Eventually, two blogs titles are going to sound similar.
Even if you search for a book title on Amazon, sometimes there are other books with almost the same title! I’d have to tell the bigger blogger to get over herself! If she’s big enough, she’s going to dominate the Google searches and no one will mistake her for the smaller blog.
Geesh. Get a grip!
Who cares who her readers are Penny?? She obviously has them….do you?? it can’t be that boring if it evoked a response from you…
I am not a “mommy blogger” but I very much enjoyed this post. Not because it may have seemed “gossipy” to some, but because it brought forth very good points about branding and tact (which someone clearly needs a lesson on).
It’s interesting to me as a non-blogger to see what “goes on behind the scenes”. This post also introduced me to a wonderful new LITTLE blog to follow.
Interesting side of the blogging world…as someone who recently (within the last year) started blogging and then found out a bigger blog had the same name – what are you going to do? My title was not that original and I’m hoping the big blogger never harrasses me about it!
At the end of the day blogging might be a passion but it’s a business/brand that turns out cash for some folks. I’m not condoning the pettiness of it all but I’m all for protecting what’s yours. Little blogger might not have been a direct competition but the other guy saw it as a potential problem. Little blogger is now gone – mission completed! This is a wake up call to any moms hustling out there – protect what’s yours and seek legal counsel if necessary. Most of these women aren’t wearing their mommy hats anymore – it’s all business.
Ok, I am SO starting a blog called… Hmm… Heir to Hair. And making it green at the top. And changing my real name to start with an “A”. And then trademarking it all (even though you had it first) and launching a smear campaign against you.
Wait, no… Because that would be childish and mildly retarded. Especially to do to the lady who inspired me to blog in the first place <3!
Yeah, I hear a lot about how the mommy-blogosphere can be catty and rude. I just ignore it, and don't associate with those people. I'm not here to argue, I'm here to post about my life and have fun!
It’s so sad that this really goes on with mommy bloggers. My blog happens to have a really similar name to another blog, which I didn’t even find out until well after I had started mine. Like you said… two different brands. Thankfully, we haven’t had any issues so far!
I completely agree with what you said Beth Anne- there’s plenty of criticism from the outside. Why can’t we all just play nice?
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by heirtoblair: breakfast, anyone? http://wp.me/pRSLA-KJ...
The “Big Mommy Blog” is definitely a hot mess (as said before). Not one thing interested me…however, the “Little Mommy Blog” will definitely have me as a follower now!
I’ve read your blog since you were pregnant with Harrison and I was also expecting my son. As someone who just started a “little mommy blog”, I just want to thank you for this post. The blog world can be so intimidating.
P.S. Love all the new changes to the blog. It is truly the warm fuzzies, guru blog that all blog should strive to.
I LOVE this post! I hate when people only care about getting hits and followers, rather than focusing on content. Annoying.
umm big blogger’s site sucks. hardcore.
Wow, I can’t believe the blog world is that vicious. No rainbows and fuzzy bunnies in that story! I’m so curious who big blogger is….
Mommy bloggers are the best and the worst. They are so over the top, dogmatic, caring, wonderful, giving, thick headed, my way or the highway, loving self-sacrificing people. That’s crazy and makes me want to leave me a teacher log all out on its lonely instead of advertising to mamas.
I just want to tell you, I dont read comments on blogs. I barely have enough time to read the blogs themselves. But I read EVERY single comment here. Priceless!
Great post. Lots of interesting info. I too think that Big Mommy Blogger made some bad choices in her tactics. It even appears to me that she is trying to be like PW. Same setup. Just lots of red.
I had my own mommy wars. Was attacked for pancakes.
Yup. Pancakes.
http://iammommy.typepad.com/my_weblog/2010/02/things-successful-bloggers-do-.html
No need to stop by if your busy… just thought I’d add it to the list of WhatTheHeck???
[...] talked about that yesterday. Be kind. Be sincere. Be compassionate. Be approachable. Be relatable. Don’t be a [...]
I think the Little Mommy Blogger made a good move and she’s doing well. I support her and follow her.
I had something similar happen, but it didn’t get too far. It actually worked out better for me in the end, so I look at it as a blessing in disguise
Oy vey.
I actually had NO clue who you were talking about! LOL. Thank you previous commenters who have led me in the right direction!
I seriously just want to join hands and sing kumbaya… seriously, WHAT IS SO HARD TO JUST LIVE AND LET LIVE?
Little Mom is being followed!
Tiffany @ http://mom-nom.com is such a Better blog.
[...] MomNom: When Mommy Bloggers snack on other Mommy Bloggers – Great Mommy Blogging article. Will make you chuckle for sure! [...]
LMAO are you serious?! Wow. You mom bloggers make me laugh at the ridiculous things you say and do. I am a mom and a blogger but… I just keep to myself and comment around and read your stuffs. Aren’t we all supposed to be mature, responsible women?
A fight over a name and colours? Seriously… grow up!