McFatty Monday!!  & I’ve totally lost count of how many weeks we’ve been doing this, but I am SO PUMPED every time I see a) the progress of the faithfuls

and b) new folks.

I was standing in the bedroom the other night in my undies (meow!) & looking at the full-length mirror.  ”Babe,” I said to Nate.  ”I think I might actually rock a bikini this summer.”  He literally stopped dead in his tracks.  ”REALLY?!?!?!” he said.  Oh, yes.  A bikini.  Scraps of fabric, my midsection, & my stretch marks.  & you know what?  I’m excited about it.

A year ago, part of my exultation with pregnancy was that I WOULD NEVER HAVE TO WEAR A BIKINI AGAIN!  Halle-effing-lujah!!  I had an excuse to NEVER feel that gulping chokehold of summer across my throat & hips.  Because I’ve had a baby!  I have an excuse!  I can wear a Land’s End one-piece with a swim skirt & it won’t matter BECAUSE I’M A MOM.  But you know what?  That doesn’t sound appealing anymore.  I’ve worked hard.  I have literally worked my ass off in every possible sense of the word.  & even with 20-30 lbs to go, I feel awesome.  At 5 months post partum, I’m back into about half of my pre-pregnancy pants.  Still not into my size 12/14 Seven jeans, but my size 16′s are HUGE on me & I’m wearing Nate’s belts to keep them up.  True story.  I feel like I’m starting to look good & that by June, I may actually be ready to show the world that I had a baby – & I look even better for it.

& besides, maybe my red stretch marks spreading out over my bikini bottom will halt any future seasons of 16 & Pregnant.

(sorry, I know it’s not an “official” McFatty Monday picture AND it was taken over a week ago, but it will have to do until next week.  Nate’s messing with family stuff on the phone tonight & honestly, I haven’t even changed out of my pajamas or put on a bra today.  MAJOR SLACKSVILLE.)

Are you a bikini girl or a one-piece?  Tankini?  Is just talking about this getting you as excited for the beach as it is me?!?!  Even though beach vacation is OVER FIVE MONTHS AWAY?!

As far as food & exercise – how are those going?  I am starting a WEE bit of exercise more as part of my “therapy” and “medicine.”  When Harrison screams at night, I put on my iPod & bust ass on my elliptical.  Does it feel good?  Not really.  Because it’s like an emotional vomit through cardiovascular workout.  But part of Post Partum Anxiety is a pent-up read-to-explode amount of energy & sometimes, 15 minutes on the elliptical will simmer it down to a manageable level.  I’m still off Nutrisystem for the time being – my boxes are sitting in the garage & in a weird way, I’m getting excited to start it up again.

I know.  I have so much else going on in my life & head that weight-loss should be at the back of my mind.  I’m focusing on making healthy choices with the little that I do eat these days, but in complete vanity, I’m  sofreakingclose to my weight starting with a “1″ that it is hard not to want to achieve it, even if I still need a psychiatrist once a week.  But it’s good to have a goal.  (I’m going to write more on that – what we’re changing in our life to help the PPD, what my psychiatrist thinks is beneficial, etc.  Because I know there are a ton of questions out there about it)

How are you feeling about yourself these days, a few months into a healthier lifestyle?  Are you sick of me asking you questions yet?