About a month ago (I think, I’m really not good at keeping track of time!), I participated in a survey facilitated by TheBump.com and ForbesWoman.com regarding the working mother. Appropriate, right? & then earlier this week, Jacalyn from The Bump contacted me about the survey, asking if I would act as a spokesperson and/or blog about the findings. Abso-freaking-lutely, I answered.
When I returned to work the second week in January, I posted a lot about being a working mother and HOW HARD IT IS. I cried. I complained. I lamented. I said some pretty damn inflammatory things that I 50% regret & 50% stick to, depending on the day. I was miserable & to this day, I liken my return to work as a polar plunge – a complete shock to my system in every imaginable way.
As I go through my psychiatric therapy, aka my weekly exorcism, I’m discovering more & more that a lot of that was the postpartum depression wreaking havoc on my life. But looking at these statistics, it is nice to know that that’s not ALL of it & quite a bit of what I was writing rings true with what other women feel:
- More than a third (35%) of moms who had their first child at 30 to 34 wish they had their child at a younger age, and 57% of moms who had their first child at 35 to 39 wish they had their child at a younger age.
- Fertility is not a top reason when choosing an “ideal” age to have a baby. In fact, financial security and being emotionally “ready” to become parents were the top two reasons.
- 62% of women surveyed feel that motherhood negatively impacts a woman’s career. Yet, working moms didn’t feel as strongly about this when it came to their own career.
- Negative feelings dominate when returning to work post-baby. Top five feelings were guilty, overwhelmed, stressed, sad and anxious
- 59% of working moms no longer cared as much about work post-baby.
So…what do you think? How do you feel about this? In general, or specific parts of the survey. Do you feel that your work negatively impacted having a child? Or do you feel that having a child has negatively impacted your work? The way your boss perceives you? Do you try to “hide” pediatrician appointments, PPD, or pure exhaustion from a 2am wake-up call in fear of being “mommy-tracked” out of future promotions?
I will admit that while I have taken steps to protect myself & my job (as an fyi, PPD puts you in a protected class so if you are suffering, please speak to your human resource director or boss in confidentiality). But that I worry that common knowledge of me seeing a psychiatrist once per week will put a big red “X” on my back for future opportunities.
Or maybe…did YOU “mommy-track” yourself? Did you alter your hours, fall back to part-time? Do you feel that you sacrificed your career, or are you finding a way to balance motherhood & still advance professionally?
& most importantly….How many cups of coffee do you drink per day? Because I cannot function with less than 4.
