I have PPD.
Post partum depression.
I literally feel like my chest is closing in on me, reading those words.
I suspected it for awhile, but the official diagnosis came this past Wednesday morning after a sob-filled, hyperventilating discussion with my OB. I just kept sliding downhill. & as much as I knew it was a possibility & as much of an advocate as I am for getting help, I’ve been terrified to admit it or face it. I just kept thinking it was all circumstantial & would get better. First it was the screaming. It will get better when that stops. It will get better when I get used to work. It will get better when I’m off birth control. It will get better when my period stops.
But it just keeps getting worse. Until I began feeling like my entire life was shutting down at a speed that I cannot keep up with.
To be honest – this is an incredibly hard post to write. I want to assure you that I never have & never will hurt Harrison. I am getting help in both therapy & medication now, but I am ashamed to say that it took me four months to realize that the thoughts & feelings I have are not normal. I am afraid. Nate is scared, but being strong. & my family is worried but offering incredible support – I am lucky to have them. But I am grasping to the hope that there me be a light in front of me…eventually. The simple admission is already making me shake as I type, but it would be an injustice to myself & anyone else suffering to keep this quite.
Because the term “suffering” from postpartum depression has never felt more accurate.
I get your posts delivered to my blackberry – so thats what I'm freakishly fast.
Anyhow – you're incredibly strong to be able to write that post – and it will get better. Good for you for realizing that you needed help – that's the first step. Keep strong Blair and it will get better. Being a working mom when babies are so young has to be SO hard – and must make like crazy insane. You will get through this
Hugs
Blair, you are so brave. As a therapist, I can tell you that you have already made the largest stride toward overcoming this. Good luck and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel
Hi – PPD survivor here! Stay strong – there are a lot of great, supportive woman over at the PPD board on The Bump.
Huge Hugs honey. I am so proud of you for asking for help. It sounds like everyone IRL is very supportive. Don't forget you have thousands of internet stalkers who are always here for you too!
I'm so proud of you for taking the steps to make things better. Stay strong Blair! ((((HUGS))))
You are a strong person and admitting this to the world shows that. I am confident ( even though I never met you) that you can get out of this tunnel and when you do you wil have a story to tell that will resonate with many,will be needed by many and respected by all.
You are a good mother and a good wife and a good woman and there is nothing you could have done to keep this from happeningt. You are taking control by getting help and that is an enormous step. You will overcome this and your marriage and your family and your spirit will be stronger and your lives will be better and happier.
The lesson that you are teaching your son and your readers in this moment is incredibly powerful and I am moved by your strength. I'm proud to blog-stalk you.
This too shall pass. Mae said it well. Do what you need to do to heal.
I second this…you are a wonderful, strong person.
i third this post! you are awesome, Blair! i felt an overwhelming sense of failure when i had to admit i had depression, but i am so much better for it! keep up the strong work! and NO ONE thinks for a second that you would ever hurt Harrison! it takes a strong woman to ask for help! on behalf of all the Southern blog-stalkers, you make us proud to call you a Southern lady!!!
http://gurskigossip.blogspot.com/2009/12/on-sunny…
Read here. I'm no expert on this, but I am right where you are. My post will explain everything. I'm doing better now with meds and therapy. But I have a loooong way to go. It has been HELL, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Let me know if you need to talk!
mrs.gurski@gmail.com
I'm so sorry that you're going through this, but you are one tough cookie and have already made the most important first step. Johannknip is right – you have tons of internet stalkers behind you in addition to your family! I'll be praying/thinking about/ sending good thoughts your way!
While I never suffered from PPD, I have been depressed, been to therapy and take medication. I know that it's not easy to admit or accept that you are in fact depressed but the fact that you have made the first steps to get help speaks volumes.
Good luck Sweetie and stay strong! You'll be feeling better in the days to come, no worries =)
**HUGS**
Hi "blair"… I have never commented to you, but I check your blog every so often. I saw you asking about PPD the other day on the boards. I started getting treated for PPD back in December. I was so embarrassed about it, but I knew that I needed to admit how I was feeling to start to be a better Mom. I started taking meds and going once a week to therapy. Two months later, I am doing much better. It also helped to go back to work and get some sense of "self" back in my life. Good luck to you and know that it does get better. It takes a lot of courage to admit that things are not perfect…and once you do, you realize that you are not alone!
PPD survivor here! You are not alone in this! It is scary, but can be controlled and overcome! I was on Zoloft for 6 months, was able to wean off slowly and now just take a bit of evening primrose oil (natural supplement). Hang on, dear Blair. Hugs from a stranger that reads your blog and loves it!
I literally feel your pain. Admitting these feelings is the first step towards recovery – you WILL get there. xo
So brave of you to admit this! It gets better with therapy and meds! Stay strong and don't give up hope! The clouds will part and you'll see the sun once again!! {{HUGS}}
I'm so sorry, love – here for you if you ever need anything & it's something I can do. Let me know.
xo
I applaud your honesty and bravery to post this! It took me well over a year to admit that I had PPD (I've also suffered from severe depression for over 10 years). Just know that the support and help you get now will only make you a better mother and help you bond more to the little guy! I hope you can find a system that works for you, and like others have said, admitting to it & receiving help really are the BIGGEST obstacles to overcome. Happy thoughts to you and your healing process
-Megyn
thescohis.blogspot.com
Hi, I'm a new follower and also a new Mommy. I don't think anyone can prepare you for how hard being a new Mom is. All of the hormones and feelings going on inside you are completely overwhelming. Kudos to you for being strong enough to reach out for help! Hang in there and I hope things get better for you soon.
Big huge internet hugs to you, and a big middle finger to PPD. I have it too, and just the other day "came out" on my blog about it. It's a huge step, admitting it to the interwebs, but also, admitting it to yourself. You are an amazing mother, for so many reasons, but most importantly because you are getting help. I don't know if you remember or not, but I emailed you a while back telling you that reading your blog was a bright spot in my day and was helping me get through the dark days. You always provide me with a laugh or help me to appreciate motherhood more. Keep your head up, and keep grasping for hope, there will be light again
I think it's really brave of you to put this out there for the world to read. In my opinion that's why so many people are fans of your blog – because you're just…real. Know that we're also supporters of you and and are thinking about you and wishing you the best. You WILL get through this. Best of luck.
Hi Blair! While I have never had PPD, I did have MD (major depression) for 4 years that was treated with meds and therapy. I also had a bout of PTSD after my m/c, so in a vague sort of way, I know what you are going through. Depression is more awful than anyone could expect, especially those who have not been through it. As one of the previous commenters said, you have already made the biggest step towards feeling better. You are an incredibly amazing woman and have touched so many lives…this will get better.
((((creepy internet hugz))))
Blair you are an amazing mother and wife, and there is no shame in admitting that you need help. You went through an incredible physical and emotional change that I cannot even begin to fathom what it must be like. You are not alone in your feeling, and it is fantastic that you are getting the help you deserve. I am confident that it will get better, you don't strike me as someone who does anything half ass!
Always remember that your support system extends past your family and friends and that you have many many internet "friends" who support you as well.
Kudos to you for taking the steps to cure PPD. I can't speak from experience, but I'm sorry you have to deal with this and I hope the help your seeking works quickly. Best wishes to you and your family!
I love you for writing this. This is probably the best post you've ever written bc it will help so many and let so many Mama's know they are not alone. I suffer from PPD too. I have a Rx sitting on my desk for Zanex just waiting to be filled. I'll be heading to the pharmacy today. Filling it makes it real but I need to get some help. I thought I could do it on my own without meds but I'm just not that strong. Oh and don't feel bad, it took me 5 months. We're in this together & we will get through this. Thoughts & prayers!!!
Blair, hang in there, I am glad to hear that you have made the necessary steps to healing. In every post you amaze me with your honesty. You will be in my prayers.
***HUG***** The first step is admitting that something is wrong. When I was a teen I suffered from depression and anxiety after I lost my first child it got worse and when my daughter was born(6 yrs ago) I was super stressed but I never put it together that I may have PPD I ignored it and when my 2nd daughter was born I ignored it again, I had my 3rd daughter in Nov of 08 by Janruary I realized there was something wrong and finally went to my doctor to get help(like you I would never/have never hurt my girls!) Don't be ashamed that it took you 4 months to realize something wasn't right, it took me 6 years to realize I needed help & that there was something wrong. Good for you to recognize it now and getting help, and that is great that your family is being supportive! Unfortunitly by the time the doctors found the right medication for me (this past year) I ended up pregnant again and now have to wait till after I have this baby to get back on my meds.
Hang in there Blair! You are doing the right thing for not only yourself–but for Nate and Harrison! Kudos to you for being strong enough to talk freely about it. I know thats extremely hard. Your words may encourage another mom who is going through the same thing to get help!
Keep your chin up and just remember your awesome!
Best wishes to you and your family. Just keep your head up and know that you did the right thing in getting help! Take care of yourself, Blair.
I'm sure it took a lot to admit that & I truly hope you get better.
2 time PPD survivor and currently in the middle of my 3rd time! It can be done and it sounds like you have a great support system!
Blair, I'm glad that you are strong enough to admit that you have PPD. Although I do not know you personally, just from reading your blog, I feel that you'll be okay and make it through PPD.
I'm sending positive thoughts your way. Good luck!
sweet 'blair' — I am have been reading your blog for awhile now and love it! i admire you for taking the steps to find out what is going on and how to get help for what you are feeling. I am not a mommy (yet) but I can only imagine how hard it is. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayer. Keep getting strong and believing you can get through this.
XO
jen
You do not know me, But i wanted to offer some kind words that I hope will help.
This is normal. It does not mean ANYTHING other than that your hormones are having a tough time regulating themselves. It says absolutely nothing about your worth as a parent, wife or woman. Anyone who follows your blog can see the incredible, passionate love you have for your son. No one with the sense God gave a duck would think that PPD is a "regret" of having a child.
You are strong, witty and resilient. You will pull out of this, I'm sure. Rounds of applause for admitting this so that others will have the strength to do the same. Good Luck.
I've been a long time reader, but have never commented before. This post, however, has made me want to reach out to you.
I'm not a mom, yet, so I have not had to worry about PPD. However, I do have PTSD (post traumatic stress) from a house fire that occured almost three years ago. It took me two years to finally realize that I had a 'problem' and needed help. As you described, my life was also spinning out of control and I kept making excuses. Last fall I started seeing a therapist, becuase I refused medication, and it was the best decision I ever made for myself. After only a few months I feel like a brand new person. I'm bigger and better and I know that with time you will be too!
*hugs* This couldn't have been easy. Good thing about an uphill battle is it's movement in the right direction…
*BIG HUG!* I can't imagine how difficult it was for you to admit that to everyone who reads your blog, but I applaud you and hope you know how much we all appreciate your honesty. I wish you all the best in your uphill efforts and know you will come out of this better than ever.
Blair I cannot believe how brave and strong you are. Your honesty and willingness to share amazes me. I wish you the best of luck battling this. I know you will be successful, and don't need luck – all you need is you.
It is so nice to read your blog and realize that I am not alone in my struggles. DS has horrible reflux, I struggle with losing weight, I have had trouble dealing with PPD… and although you can read about how it is all part of life, it is nice to know there is someone else who understands. Thank you for your honesty.
You are a very brave woman. While this was a huge step for you, you should be so proud of yourself that by doing it you'll probably end up helping a countless number of women. Good luck and remember that there are a lot of people here that are supporting and rooting for you!
Blair, Hugs and a plate of choc chip cookies for you! You are wonderful my dear. You have so many people there rooting for you, supporting you, and wishing you well. You can and will get through this. Thank you for sharing every tid bit of your life, even when it is so hard to do so. I am sure you inspired many other women out there to honestly look at themselves, and take the first step too.
Lots of love, Eliza
http://postcardsfromparenthood.blogspot.com
This is a really brave post. You have many people in your corner; it will get better. Hugs to you and your family.
T&P coming your way Blair! and some hugs too!
Sorry you are going through this, but I'm glad that you are heading in the right direction. I hope every day gets better and best of luck to you and the rest of your family. I know you have an amazing support group, so you are going to get through it
I'm glad you were able to come out and post about it… so many women read your blog and knowing that you are struggling and seeking help may help them do the same. I emailed you yesterday, but I was diagnosed with PPD yesterday and started the meds last night. Just know you aren't alone and we're all rooting for you… Hang in there… ::hugs::
Blair…What courage it takes to write about this and share this struggle with all your readers. I hope that you can start to find relief from this pretty soon and know that all of us out here in the cyber world are cheering you on.
Don't feel bad, it's taken me 5 months to figure it out and to finally seek some help. Keep your head up, you have a great support system.
I’ve been a long time reader, but have never commented before. This post, however, has made me want to reach out to you.
I’m not a mom, yet, so I have not had to worry about PPD. However, I do have PTSD (post traumatic stress) from a house fire that occured almost three years ago. It took me two years to finally realize that I had a ‘problem’ and needed help. As you described, my life was also spinning out of control and I kept making excuses. Last fall I started seeing a therapist, becuase I refused medication, and it was the best decision I ever made for myself. After only a few months I feel like a brand new person. I’m bigger and better and I know that with time you will be too!
ZOLOFT! I went on it at 6 weeks PP and there is a world of difference. It has helped me feel like "myself" again, not medicated. And I plan to stay on for a few months and then slowly wean off of it. There's a chemical imbalance that happens with some of us after our hormones go through the roller coaster ride of pregnancy and childbirth. It's normal and it's OK! Asking for help is the hardest part. After you get it, life improves dramatically. Good for you for sharing with your husband and family. Support system is really important. Good luck! And be gentle with yourself. We have just been through the single most intense life events we ever will have. I think it's a little weird to NOT have problems adjusting.
I am so proud of you for getting help and admitting you need it! As mothers I think we all feel like we have to do it all and don't realize when things are out of control. Now that you're getting the help you need and have so much support from family and friends (and your faithful followers!) it can only get better! Hang in there, it's obvious you're a GREAT mom, sometimes we all just need some help!
Although I do not have PPD, I did deal with severe depression the first few weeks. I know how it feels. I can only say good for you that you are getting help and admitting it to yourself and your family. It is a very lonely feeling.
It will be okay.
Thank you for admitting this on your blog. It is a huge step, but thank you for standing up and saying that something is wrong. PPD is not something that should be hidden or felt ashamed of. You are a wonderful mother by having the strength to admit this, get help and over come it. (((hugs)))
still praying for you. . .
i'm glad you talked to someone. It can only get better from here, right? i called a hotline and am being recommended to therapy. Now, since I've spoken with someone, I'm back to feeling 'normal' again but I know that could change tomorrow. Yay for OB's and therapists. I'm proud of you for being able to write about it
::Big hugs::
There is no reason to keep it quiet – I know that plenty of women suffer from it and I"m glad you are getting the help you need to deal with this. You have a strong support system of family and friends and us bloggers too! I hope each day is a little easier to deal with now that you're reached out for help. I am always here to listen – I know how just having someone listen and not judge is sometimes the best thing!
Blair,
I have been following for almost a year now, you are so brave to post this, and to seek treatment for something that not everyone has dealt with, or understands.
Be thankful for the amazing support system you have.
And know that we are thinking of you, and wishing you the best, and praying for you.
Being a first time Momma is TOUGH! And then there are so many other things that we have going on, work, marriage, hormones, family, friends, oh yes…the BABY! Take it a day at a time, and if that is too much…start with an hour a day.
You can do this. I have complete faith in you.
I've been there. You will get though this, B. xoxoxox
praying for you mama!
Blair, i feel SO much for you! from experience. i didn't figure out that i had PPD until by dd was 4 months old, either. i was ashamed, embarrassed, and felt like my world was closing in on me. my feelings, thoughts, and emotions just weren't right, and it seemed like forever until i would feel "normal" again. and 4 months later, i'm doing better, but still not completely heeled. and yes, you are suffering, bc it's HARD to have unnatural feelings, much less when you have a perfect little baby, and all you want to do is be happy and love him. i see myself in you, and all i can say, is to continue with the help, and just know it WILL get better with time. if you ever need to chat, i'll be here for ya. HUGS!!!!!
You will get through this, you are a strong woman. Hugs to you.
I just started reading your blog a month ago. This is my first comment, but I just had to say it. What a strong woman you are for seeking help. I admire you and wish you a healthy and safe road to getting better. You are in my prayers.
Coming from someone who has "suffered" with depressive episodes for 16 years . . . you're doing the right thing. Admitting it is the first step and it is a HARD step to take. But you will be surprised how quickly therapy and medication can start to kick in.
I write about my depression on my blog and I know it opens me up to unfair judgements from strangers who have no real clue what goes on in my life. But it does feel good to put it all out there. To say, hey, I'm not perfect and I'm having a really hard time adjusting at this time.
A good support system is key. And also becoming aware of your own triggers. I truly hope that you are feeling more like your awesome self soon, dear. It pains me to know that anyone has to suffer with any type of depression. I seriously wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
(((hugs)))
I'm so glad that you are getting help for this. You are a great woman and mommy for realizing that something wasn't right. I wish you the best!
You're absolutely right, this is step one. You are a lucky woman, to have not only a supportive husband and family, but an army of women behind you – who will not only help hold you up when you need it, but who you can help when THEY need it.
This, too, shall pass. You'll be okay.
I have no idea what to say, except HUGS, hang in there and don't be afraid to lean on family and friends. GL!
Wow, what an honest post. Thank you for sharing what you are going through. I've been a mom for three weeks, and have definitely felt some "Baby Blues"… and am afraid that it will become something more serious. It's comforting to know that there are others out there with the same feelings. I hope you'll keep us updated on how you're doing, what has helped, what hasn't…
Lots of love!
I understand how hard it is to take that step – I did this week, too. After almost 8 long, hard months of hoping, wishing, willing it away, I knew I had to.
Please keep us posted if you're comfortable – you have a voice people can relate to and I think it could really help someone else out who's struggling.
((((HUGS)))) Blair! Just big ole' hugs for you!
My baby is two months old and some days I feel like I may have PPD and then the next day I feel fine. She is really easy for the most part…and I am a little of an emotional person to start with, so I'm not sure when to draw the line and say "Yes, this is what it is, and I should get help." My OB extended my disability 2 more weeks because I cried in his office and said I still felt overwhelmed, but he didn't make a big deal of it otherwise, and I of course didn't push the issue any further.
Thank you for posting this, and if you feel up to it, try to keep us posted. I really appreciate your honesty.
Hugs to you. I have PPD and anxiety as well. It's difficult to admit, isn't it? Just remember- you are not alone, and you will get better. ( from my therapist)
I can imagine that you feel humiliated writing that post. I think that I would have, if I had the courage to admit it when I was going through it, which I didn't. I just want to let you know, I've always been amazed by you. You're Wonderwife! And Supermom! And that hasn't changed a bit for me knowing what you're dealing with, in fact now I can add on Ultrawoman to the list!
I can't wait for the day you look back at this and think, "Phew…that's over, now…the laundry!"
Good for you for seeking help and putting this out there. My bestie went through this in silence for months, and I was devastated when I learned that. This is a very serious, very real issue and not something that can be managed on it's own.
Hang in there. Support from your family, your friends and hopefully us complete strangers will help you through this. There is another side, where you will come out of the fog and feel like you again.
I hope you make it there swiftly and safely
Oh Sweet Blair. I know you're probably tired of hearing this, and it sounds so cliche', but… You WILL get through this. God won't make a mountain you can't climb! You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers, girl.
CW
Blair, this is the first time I have ever commented on a post, but I read your blog daily. You are an amazing mother and Harrison is so lucky to have you! This is just a "bump in the road" and it will smooth over. While I never had PPD after I had my son, I did witness my own mother go through it after she had my younger sister. I was 7, so I vividly remember her being upset all the time, crying and just looking depressed. But guess what? Harrison will never know you went through this, unless you tell him about it. All he knows is that you love him and that is all that matters. You will be in my T & P!
Blair, I'm so glad you are getting help. I can only imagine how tough it must be to face this, but I know you can make it through. Hang in there!
So sorry you are dealing with this. Good for you for getting diagnosed and talking about it. Best of luck – you WILL get through this!
- Annie (MommaD2Be from The Bump)
You poor thing, my heart just cracked for you reading this. Growing the baby, birthing the baby, raising the baby — this all makes all the chemicals and hormones you need to do these things go absolutely HAYWIRE. They rush around to do these things while they try to support you, too. Sometimes they don't do it all so great, and it's so unlike anything your body has faced. I know you must feel so awful sometimes, and scared, and so unsure of why this is happening to you. The medication and therapy will have you feeling much better soon, trust me. And then there is a massive adjustment that new motherhood is. Everything – your life, your body, your hormones, your schedule, your thoughts, your purpose – has ALL changed. Therapy will also help you stay you while you navigate that adjustment. It's all just maintenance, checking-in, tuning up your life and body. Going to the doc and expressing your fears is a great big act of TLC you've given yourself. Order up more of that. Remember – the only way out is through.
You=Brave
Prayers and HUGS girl….you are loved
((((HUGS))))
Me too ladybird.
Today is particularly bad. (((hugs)))
Just wanted to send you hugs… I love your blog and just want to thank you for posting so honestly. Hang in there – you are an amazing mother and wife… you will get through this!
So brave. Good luck with treatment and I look forward to reading more about your experience.
Hi Blair,
I'm a frequent reader, though you don't know me. I wanted to just say that you are an amazing person, mother, and wife and will get through this. Lots of hugs to you.
As a brand new follower, I **WILL** continue to read your blog and virtually support you because of how brutally honest you are, especially with this post. I truly appreciate it and wish you the very best!
I'm so sorry, Blair. You are a great mommy/wife/human being and getting help shows that. I can't compare exactly but I'm bipolar and I went through a stretch after Josh was born where I forgot to take my meds and it got real bad real quick. So while I don't quite know what you're going through, I do know that medication and therapy are helpful things and you WILL get through it. Feel free to email me if you ever want to chat. I mean, I am full-blow BSC without my meds so maybe I can help or relate. Just page me – you know where to find me. ::hugs & tonics::
I have not commented on your blog before, but I have become a devoted reader.
My heart aches for you, because I have been where you are. The silver lining in all of this is that you have been diagnosed and are getting help. That is GREAT news. I was never diagnosed and I suffered through the worst year of my life without having a clue what happened to the "old" me. I lost out on bonding opportunities with my baby, and honestly, PPD almost dissolved my marriage. When I realized after the fact, I wished more than anything that I had known so that I could have gotten help.
Know that you are not alone, you are not the first person to go through this, and NONE of this is your fault. You have already made the longest stride to recovery. *hugs* Everything is going to be okay!
And this is why I love your blog or blogs in general that are not afraid to show some heartache or a low point.
You are AWESOME for posting this even though it was extremely hard. I feel like so many people strive to have a happy go lucky blog and never have the balls to show when they are struggling through whatever it is. It’s like they don’t want to let their readers down by being a downer. I think this is fabulous because YOU ARE HUMAN and you will have these days/months/hours/weeks.
We are all here to support you and to lift you up.
You are doing the right thing and although, I’ve never been pregnant or given birth to know what this would ever feel like… I’ll be praying for you!
You are awesome and things will turn up…soon.
As a new reader to your blog, I find it incredibly brave of you to give some truth behind PPD…good luck with your treatment!
xo.
While I did not suffer from PPD, my anxiety and panic attacks (coupled with years of untreated bulimia) got much stronger after giving birth to my daughter in November 2008. I kept seeing it as a situational experience but, after each thing passed, the panic remained and the bulimia got much worse. Finally, in May 2009, my husband went with me to my PCP and we were able to work out a treatment plan of medication, a therapist, and a nutritionist. Within weeks, I noticed a major difference and I was able to be so much more focused with my daughter and in my life. It felt like a huge relief to finally talk about what I had been going through. It was nice not to have to hide anymore and to get the help I really needed.
I have read often, and rarely commented, but I think your honesty is amazing and it is clear that you are a great, loving mother. This step only makes you stronger. Best of luck.
You are so brave! Keep your chin up. Although I don't know completely how you feel, I recently just started taking Zoloft for some anxiety I was having after my son's birth. It is hard to admit it, but I am glad you are getting the help you need.
We are ALL here for you. I felt enveloped by love last year when I was struggling, and I hope you feel that same love.
Know that this doesn't make you less of a mom, wife or person – it makes you human. Give yourself a pat on the back for seeking help…sometimes it's the asking that's the hardest part.
Its awesome that you had the strength to get help. Everything will get better now. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers
I know that this may seem completely random- but I found your blog a while ago while rummaging through thenest. I have followed you through your tribulations with Harpie (bawling some days because your honesty touched me so deeply) through your "ttc" (because I felt like you wrote as if you were talking to a friend) and through the miracle that is Harrison (because by this point..I felt as if I were that friend- and yes- I feel like a creepo saying that) I always come to your blog- and in a way peek into your life- because you are so honest with and about life. So know that I am thankful that you come on here and share your experiences (the great and the crappy.) I am sure that you will get through this, and become better- because God doesn't let us drown. Please continue to share with us. and we will support you the whole way- and love you more for it. <3
I'm so happy you decided to reach out for help. The first step is alwayas the hardest. Good luck, sweetie!
Aw honey. Hang in there. My OB told me that if I came to him before I found myself lying naked on the bathroom floor crying and eating chocolate… I was a step ahead. So kudos to you because it sounds like you caught it before that moment. Lots of love from this side of the blogosphere. If I could help, I would!
This isn't your fault, you did nothing wrong, there is no shame in this. You're absolutely being the best mother and wife possible by admitting that there's a problem and taking the first steps towards a resolution. It WILL get better!!!
Been there. I suffered terribly with PPD with my youngest. I kept thinking it would go away. I had all the excuses- my baby has colic and never sleeps, I'm just tired, my husband is a moron and needs to be yelled at…..It lasted the entire first year until my period came back. PPD gets such a bad reaction from people, they don't understand it. There is a HUGE difference between PPD and PP-Psychosis. People close to me, ahem- mother in law, heard PPD and immediately started trying to hide the knives. Idiots. Getting help is the exact right thing to do, even when it feels like an admission of failure. Be proud of yourself! You're a great mom and you're going everything you can to make sure you're a healthy mom. I wish I'd had the courage to admit my struggle earlier, maybe I would have more good memories of my son's first year of life.
Long time lurker from the nest but just wanted to let you know you've got tons of people pulling for you. Lots of Love!
Blair, I'm the 102 commenter. How lucky you are to have 101 people cheering you on and telling you things will get better!
I found your blog right before my son was born and Harrison was only a couple of days old. Harrison and James are only five weeks apart, so I always love reading your blog to see what to look forward to.
I too had a downward spiral. Why? I had everything I ever wanted, a healthy baby, happy husband, etc. I got help and am feeling SO MUCH better. It took about two weeks for the meds to really take effect, but they work wonders.
I'm cheering for you!
Jessica