your baby blues so full of wonder
your curly cues, your contagious smile
& as I watch, you start to grow up
all I can do is hold you tight
~Plumb

Dear Harrison,

Some days, I feel like I could tell you for hours everything on my mind & in my heart; other days, I feel like there is nothing I could say that would possibly ever tell you what I feel for you.  Today, when the entire universe is supposed to emote for 24 hours thanks to Hallmark, I feel oddly at loss for words.  Maybe because the other night, I spilled it all out to you while I rocked you to sleep.  Maybe because I am simply so enamored with you these days that there are no words to describe who you are & the amazing contribution you make to the world.  I look at you, at pictures of you, even simply think of you…& feel that there are no words that do you justice, both inside & out.

You are such a beautiful child – at least, I think so & everyone tends to agree.  You are still your father’s son, down to your big feet & how your ears stick out just a tad, but as time marches on I can begin to see myself in you.  That heart-shaped chin, shape of your eyes, & the dimple on your left cheek.  & the parts that are neither me nor your father – that INCREDIBLE hair, that always deserves an all-caps adjective.  Because it is still SHOCKINGLY blonde, but it fits you so perfectly.  & I knew you would have blue eyes, but I never imagined just how blue they would be.  How they would crinkle at the edges when you laugh, or how the big fat tears they’d squeeze out would break my heart.

But Harrison, as we watch you grow, YOU are what I find to be the most beautiful.  Your focused & intense personality that glares through those blue eyes almost wars with the sweet smile & pitched giggle given to those you love.  You love to play & be silly, but even your play is intense – you pull toys off the gym, fling Sophie across the room, & shriek (loudly) with delight when Lambie comes into focus.  But you bore quickly & are not afraid to give your strong opinion on anything from food to entertainment with a loud squawk or fast tears.  At this rate, we are pretty sure you will be one hell of an attorney – intense, sensitive, with a quick mood that creates a force to be reckoned with.  But as your mother, I am drawn to your sweet, quiet side that snuggles into my neck when a stranger comes close.  That sweet smile where you crinkle your nose first, then slowly turn the corners of your mouth up with tightly closed lips.  & while I know that it is my duty to allow you to grow into the man you were meant to be, I am also to cultivate the sweet side of you so that you will (eventually) become an amazing husband to a worthy woman.  It is my hope that throughout your years, you will remain strong & opinionated, with an incredible sensitivity to life & people.  It is a hefty responsibility to be the mother of a boy, but one that I feel blessed to shoulder.

& I cannot imagine being the mother of a better, more beautiful boy.

I love you, Harrison.

Love,
Momma

Harrison, 4 months.