Let’s put this bluntly – having a baby is like watching Britney Spears shave her head with crazy eyes & then ram an umbrella into an SUV at a gas station. Remember how you felt? Helpless, humored, confused, & shocked with a massive dose of “WTF IS GOING ON HERE, PEOPLE?!?!”
yeah. That’s what happens when you have a baby. For us, Harrison was a bald umbrella-wielding Britney. (I’ll be sure to tell him that when he’s 18.)
I am now of the opinion that if you have a baby to “save your marriage,” you deserve ridicule & a discount to the closest divorce attorney in town. Sure, you’ll get warm fuzzies 90% of the time your husband holds that fresh little nugget. Those first few days in the hospital, hunkered down as a new wee family? Bliss. (p.s. to those that are knocked up, take my advice & soak it in. soak in the help & the hormone high & the absolute bliss that you feel. bottle it up, because you’ll need those memories to pull out in the dark stages to come) A baby brings animal ears on hoodies, sweet coos, & warm fuzzies. We all know this.
But a baby also brings sleep deprivation, mis-communication, higher demands of you spouse, & a plummeting sex drive.
I’m not a marriage expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I am a firm believer that there are two aspects to a marriage – the emotional & the physical. & both go hand-in-hand. If your emotional relationship goes wonky, your relationship in the bedroom suffers. & in return, lack of maritals leads to emotional dissent. Both pieces work together & both pieces are hammered resoundingly by that umbrella-wielding Britney known as “Baby.”
Two Known Facts:
1) Biologically, women shut down the baby-making factory to nurture the infant they have. We dry up like the Sahara, both physically & emotionally in regards to maritals. Everything in our hormones screams DO NOT GET KNOCKED UP AGAIN & I swear to God, if they still made iron chastity belts, I would have invested in one as soon as I delivered. & then made Tucker swallow the key.
b) Men don’t have this biological reaction. ’nuff said.
So it shouldn’t shock anyone that 6 weeks post-partum, my husband was wondering why my lacy thongs were still lying in my underwear drawer while sensible polka-dot granny panties adorned my butt cheeks. & that I had no urge to change this situation. (side note: does anyone else get squeamish about a rail-thin piece of fabric precariously close to where your OB performed a whip stitch only 12 weeks ago? like it could just slip past and OMG, you have a string creeping up your vag?! or am I the only one with a ridiculously over-active imagination? yes? okay, then.) Did we do the dirty the night of my check-up? Absolutely. Did it hurt? nah, not really.
So WHY is my lingerie drawer still untouched? Because it’s biological. Because it’s emotional. Because I am two sizes larger than I used to be & not yet comfortable in lace that barely covers 1/10th of my body.
& WHY did Nate start pulling out my lingerie, one-by-one, describing the memories he had of such outfits? Because he’s a 27-year-old man that loves sex. A man that loves me & thinks I still look hot in the bustier with fringe on the bottom that, in his mind, makes me sexier than Shakira. & a man that wanted me to know that on no uncertain terms is he dreading the return to my lingerie-wearing days.
What did I do in all my post-hormonal psychosis? I cried. Of course. Cried that I want to feel sexy. I want to wear lingerie. But I can’t fit into it yet. So please, honey…be patient. I’ll get there. I won’t be on Mommy Lock-Down forever. But sometimes in this stage of life, it is hard to fathom the act of sex, no matter how attractive & bang-worthy I find my husband. I try to remember that men & women are different. Let’s be frank – my husband isn’t a caveman, but let’s put all bull aside & admit that men are NOT as complex as we want them to be. Are they sensitive, emotional, & capable of incredible love? Absolutely. Are they as complex with a touch of the batshitcrazy as women? Personally, I don’t think so. As one of the gals that co-authored Baby Proofing Your Marriage (oh, what’s that? I’ve recommended that book ad nauseam? YEAH, I KNOW. BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME), “Men communicate with sex. Imagine your husband sitting across the table from you & not speaking to you for a month.” (okay, I paraphrased. but it’s late & i’m on like, glass 4 of merlot)
Yesterday, I came home to a new piece of lingerie, 2 sizes bigger. & proposed a plan to Nate:
Sex every day. For the next thirty days.
(inspired by this couple. if they did it for 101 days, surely we can hang for a mere 30 days!)
WHY?! you scream. WHY, Blair?! Do you have no sense of traumatized vagina? Do you not have enough crammed into your 24-hour-needing-48-hours day?! I do! I promise! But I also know that I need to get laid. Because it’s too easy to let sex become something I brush off thinking “tomorrow night!” and then “tomorrow night” again. and again. and again. Until it’s been 3 weeks since we last bumped uglies & I’m wondering why I’m finding Nate’s teeth-brushing routine to be annoying. Am I scheduling sex? Absolutely. But I’m probably having more sex than those that are want to criticize this act. WIN.
We’re viewing this as an experiment – can we make it 30 days? can we use this to spark the sex life we had prior to baby-making? can having more make me want more, therefore regaining my ol’ faithful sex drive? will nate faint from happiness two weeks in? can I finally convince him to let me seduce him in the back of his car on his lunch break?
& the more important question – can you purchase Trojans in bulk?
I have never posted before.. found your blog through some friends. I really admire your desire to be intimate with your husband in and out of the bedroom. That keeps a marriage strong and communication clear.
I hope you can find ways to keep it fun yet, and not let it seem like a burden or another thing to check off the "to-do" list.
ha! Thanks! yep, we're trying not to make it something to scratch off the "to-do" list. so the idea of making a "bucket list" of things we always wanted to do but never did is in effect
we'll see!
WOW. 30 days straight. I wish you (& your poor vag) the best of luck!
I couldn't do it. My poor hubbs is lucky if we do it once a week now… we (ahem… maybe just I) need to work on that. At least he still gets BJs to hold him over
WTF, Blair. You are crazy. Sex every day?!?!
My husband loves you. or he would, if he knew you existed. I have no intentions of striving for 30 days but I will be semi-copycatting you in the near future…because after a c-section, then complications from that and then a surgery to recover from a few weeks ago, my poor husband is a hurtin', yet very patient and uncomplaining, man.
Wow, Blair! You go girl! I'm impressed. If that's what has gotta be done, so be it. Marriage is the priority, even though all your mommy instincts scream otherwise. I can't wait to hear how it works.
::::passes the KY:::::: (but a new un-opened bottle, because it would be nasty otherwise)
That sounds more exhausting than the 30 Day Shred itself but more power to you!
I will not be telling my husband that their are wives out there that come up with sex for 30 days ideas.
:: erasing my history just to be sure::
good luck and have fun.
I'm going to have to delete my bookmark and clear my history!
Holy crap, Blair! This is my first time posting a comment and I think it is time I've told you….you're awesome. You're funny.
With this, YOU'RE CRAZY.
Not bad crazy, really…more of the "wow I wish I had half the motivation to do that". I mean, hell. I can't even finish the 30 day Shred.
Good luck!
Sex burns calories, right? Maybe you are on to something…
I recently found your website through friends and am loving every post. And, I especially relate to this post. Almost 12 weeks post partum and I read this post and thought I was looking in the mirror (or reading my own blog….or something like that). Anyway, I agree with SO much of what you wrote and I love the idea of the dirty day shred. And scheduling sex ? I am there – a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Good luck!!!
I love this post! We could be long lost bloggy sisters
I agree that if you want to have regular sex with your hubby scheduling is a must! absolutely. I actually wrote a post on scheduled sex. http://thismamaworksit.com/2010/01/25/spontaneous…
Sex is never the same after kids that is for sure. I am not sure I could do 30 days of sex…not sure if I even did that before kids. But you go girl! But making time for hubby is very important. We need to keep sex high on the "honey do" list
Ugh if my husband communicates with sex, he sure doesn't like talking to me….ha. I've got one of those "thinks he's fat and unattractive" (he's not) men who have no libido.
I digress.
You CAN buy Trojans in bulk at Costco.
Good luck girl, more power to you. You've got a lucky husband! Can't wait to hear how it goes!!!!
go Blair & Nate go! I can't wait to read about how it goes!!
LOL! This quote : " Let’s put this bluntly – having a baby is like watching Britney Spears shave her head with crazy eyes & then ram an umbrella into an SUV at a gas station. Remember how you felt? Helpless, humored, confused, & shocked with a massive dose of “WTF IS GOING ON HERE, PEOPLE?!?!” " seriously describes how I feel about the first few months with my wonderful joy, love of my life, high maintenence- just-getting-over-colic-acid-refluxy-can't-have-dairy-or-soy-anything baby boy Jack. I love him so much that it physically hurts. I never imagined I could EVER love someone so much. But I also feel like I am on a rollercoaster that has no end. I seriously love you for this quote!
OMG.. (yes, I just said OMG)… my son is 5.5 months old and after forceps and my lovely 4th degree tear – - the idea of anything in my whoo-ha makes me shutter. I'm somewhat inspired and very jealous of your aspirations
I think I will bravely try this… might as well wait until our anniversary though – one more week!
I'm on my third glass of grenache and I'm thinking of bringing this up to DH. I have a feeling he'd be in..
Good luck, Blair!
I don't think I could have sex for 30 days. I would much rather shave my eyeballs out of my eye sockets than have sex for 30 days straight. Not because my vagina was traumatized but because I much rather be sleeping.
I'm a horrible girlfriend, I know.
(Btw, I was sad that you left blogger because I couldn't just log onto blogger and see that you had updated your blog. To fix this problem, I have your blog bookmarked. Because I love your blog that much.)
You can fix this! You just have to add her manually to your blog list. I had to figure it out to, because I either forgot to check Blairs blog for like 10 days, or I'd check it obsessively all day.
Yes! Just copy the url and put it into your Blogger reader or Google reader! Very simple
Sometimes I read your posts to DH. This one I won't be. He already thinks you're amazing and so funny. I refuse to let him also find out that you are going to be doing the nasty every night for the next 30 days. Why? Because:
a. He will bug me about it constantly "If Blair can do it…"
b. I will be continually dry humped every time I bend over in hopes of his 30 days of bliss.
c. He will think most wives do this kind of thing.
My vag is pretty much the size of a pencil every night because of DD screaming and vomiting all over me, never ending housework, 4-5 hours of sleep broken into 2 hour segments, and the fact that I usually don't get a shower until 3 pm.
So the last thing I need is him to find out other women actually want to get laid after having a baby.
I totally agree with you that sex is VERY important to men but its also very important to me! Since the Dr cleared me we've been doing it every/every other day and Im sad if we cant do it.
I think women forget how men work and think and they dont realize that sex is crucial to the relationship.
Good luck with the 30 days!
Ha! Blair, you're awesome.
Done and done.
Ha!! Love it
I seriously didn't wear a thong for almost 9 months after having my daughter. NINE months…because all I could think about was that I'd had STITCHES there. No way in hell I was putting a thin strip of fabric atop the area.
You are not alone.
My stitches area STILL hurts! I couldn't imagine a thong!!!
I agree that after baby sex is even better! I had a csection and they said wait 6 weeks- but I think I made it two!
Blair, I just had to tell you how much I heart your blog. You totally remind me of me except you're more articulate. I'm soooo glad I found your blog! It's so great reading it, and being like, wow, someone else is going through exactly what I am. And, I love how you are so honest. Your blog is totally refreshing.
Ha! We were both beat after FIVE days (twice a day) of baby making sex. Thirty is like an eternity. Once again though, you've sparked my creative side…will have to consider a modified version. Tx.
omg, my husband would be so excited to try this experiment, lol. If we’ve gone 3 days, he acts like he’s DIEING!
@Jacqueline, we had the same issue but we were only having sex once a day. The day after I was pretty sure I had ovulated I suggested that we have sex one more time "just to make sure" and my husband seriously looked like he was about to cry.
LOL. I wrote my comment, then marched downstairs to tell my husband about Blair's experiment thinking he would scoff (we're both up with the baby). Instead he got all excited and wanted to try it…oops!
I wish I had your devotion!
My DH and I still haven't done the dirty post partum, but we have extenuating circumstances.
I had cysts (don't gross out, they were just SUPER painful) for about 8-9 weeks post-partum, and I swear to you, those cysts hurt worse than the rawness of pushing out a wee babe. Then, one of my 2 lacerations overhealed (it's called a granuloma? I think?) and so I have this little piece of pain right there beside my Va-jay-jay. I could get through that, but again, more circumstances.
My hubs gets up at 3:30 for work. He has to be there at 5. Therefore, he usually goes to bed anywhere between 7-8 PM, if he makes it that long. Keevia doesn't go to bed until sometime between 8-9. Again, wouldn't be a big deal.
We're living with my parents right now because he got a work transfer. We're trying to get out of our apartment, which is about 2 1/2 hours from his new job. Once we get out of it, we're applying for a loan and then purchasing a manufactured home.
While living with my parents, my hubs REFUSES to sleep in the same room as me. It started when I was pregnant and we stayed here some weekends and he didn't want to squish me. We have a double bed here, and are used to a queen. Now that the baby bedshares with me after her first feeding, he really refuses.
We were at our apartment, just the two of us, last week. Why didn't we do the deed? Because my husband dips tobacco, and I absolutely REFUSE to initiate when he has a dip in. He tried one time to snugglemybum (reference? Anyone?) but it was while I was in the middle of COOKING and we hadn't eaten anything all day. I'm a nursing mom, I get physically ill when I don't eat SOMETHING.
I know he probably isn't initiating more because the first time we fooled around PP (it was before the 6 week mark), I ended up crying because the orgasm hurt SO badly (cysts), and I know it upset and scared him… but I just don't know how to rectify the situation. It makes me sad.
I'm fighting tooth and nail for the two (well, three) of us to go out tomorrow night and just have some alone time. We shall see how that goes!
For those that are expecting i would just like to say that this is not the case for some people! At all!! My son in just a few weeks younger than Harrison (he was born 10/22) and my husband and I have been doing wonderful! Our son has been a good sleeper since the beginning (we did not get sleep deprived), really only cries when he is hungry, is consoled with white noise and his swing. And sex……oh my gosh it has never ever been better!
Aw – Nate sounds like a freaking sweetheart! I also love that you're going along with it – I will try to bear your warning in mind when it's my turn to deal with sex after baby. Thanks for sharing your views from the "other side".
You go girl! You inspire me… maybe this weekend… ahhh to be 27 again. But honestly you are the only person I know (Ok I dont really know you but I feel like I do, I heart your blog) who actually had sex on the day, or anywhere remotely close to the day, the doc gives the ok.
And I hear ya on the thongs. I used to ONLY where thongs. Not sure I have picked one up the last 10.5 months, I could give a rats ass about panty lines…
That is an awesome idea! We don't have kids yet, but I've already expressed my fears that our sex life will dwindle after we do….we've been married for almost two years and we still try to have sex at least 5 times a week. I think I will definitely try this out once I've had a baby! Thanks for your humor and courage to post about this…you're hilarious and I love your blog.
I always look back to how our sex life used to be and I can't imagine how it's gotten to the way it is… but you are so right… I'm still 2 sizes bigger than I was, and every second of my life I am tired… I make it a chore rather than something I love to do, and often respond to his advances with "DO YOU KNOW HOW LATE IT IS?? AREN'T YOU TIRED???"… Maybe I'll be a copycat also… well, maybe not THIRTY days… but maybe!! Who knows, it might even give me more motivation for McFatty Monday!! I can't wait to hear how it goes (and all of the hilarious details you will probably share!)
Blair, I <3 you, I really do! Now, I've never been pregnant and never given birth but I can guarandamntee you that this "experiment" will be the best thing for you. Good sex leads to more good sex, it's a proven fact (I don't know where but I'm sure you'll find that somewhere on the internets!). My BF and I try to have sex every day (although he's so hot I have a harder time trying NOT to have sex!) But I've discovered that the more sex we have, the better I feel about my body and the more sex I want to have. Between the calories burned and post coital glow you might be able to say bye bye Nutrisystem (you look great by the way!) Ok, enough rambling. Thanks for being you!
I'm coming out of lurkdom to say 1- I'm wholly impressed by your initiative and dedication, (which I guess flows right into my second thought,) 2- OMG, you're awesome!
Why I love my husband reason 753:
When I told him about this idea of Blair's, I was worried he'd say "Bandwagon. Jumping on." Instead? He looked at me and said: "She must not have kids." I told him yes, she does, and he said "Phew. Best of luck to her for that." I asked if he was interested in something like that and he laughed and said "Uh… no. I have enough on my plate just trying to get J to bed every day. I can't be responsible for bedding you, too."
Ok, Blair!! You totally crack me up. I love reading your writing. I swear you are me!! I am a new reader and I can't wait to get your post because you totally make me laugh and man, sometimes you just need a good freaking laugh. I am a somewhat new Mommy myself (she is 18 mths) and my husband and I are very similar to you and Nate in the sense that we are totally going through some of the same things right now. I wish you and your vagina (LOL) luck!! Has it been 30 days yet?????
Wow, definitely admire you for trying this. But it really makes sense. Good luck!
At first I really thought this was about the 30DS, and into the first paragraph, I thought – "Where is she going w/ this? What does this have to do w/ working out?" LOL!
sounds to me like you are only doing this to stay #1 on the blogging sites because it's the only way for you to keep people interested.
Good luck! Look forward to hearing all about it! I bet DH was very excited when you mentioned this to him!
Way to stay "on top of it" (pun intended) and trying to keep your marriage spicy, sometimes we all forget the feelings we use to have for our SO before the babes are born. It's a wonderful thing to reconnect and get that time for just the two of you!
I must ask…are you crazy? Are you trying for Harpie 3 and afraid to admit it? I am praying to the VAG GODS that AF comes any day now so I can begin to plan my future again and you are just asking for a Trojan sized nightmare! We've had sex twice in one month with MR. Trojan in full effect and I am sweating bullets over here – and now – I am sweating for you. Sheesh. (I don't think I took a breath the entire time I wrote this.) Re-read with that tone. lol.
YIKES! Good luck with that one! 3 consecutive days is almost unheard of around my house. Thankfully, he's just as exhausted on most days, too, and it's a mutual understanding
My husband must be going through something. Because HE is as dry as the sahara, while I sit, feeling grossly pregnant and totally unsexy waiting. My libido is curiously high during my second pregnancy. During my first pregnancy we were not allowed to have sex past 16 weeks due to placenta previa. Does anyone know how bad that sucks? I did not have sex from 16 weeks of pregnancy until 8 weeks PP! Frankly, I was a born again virgin!
Now we have the go ahead from the OB and he's got nothin' to give me! I have a master plan for valentine's day though so I will report back. I am going to have to seduce my own husband to get some.
You're so bold, Blair! I'm secretly a little happy that I won't have to think about sex until I'm 9 months PP since Taylor is deployed. Best of luck to you, love!
Oh, crap. I'm two months pregnant and I already have NO sex drive. My poor husband is trying not to bug me, but if this is going to keep up for the next year, he is so screwed! Or not, and that's the problem. If this damn morning (all day) sickness would just go AWAY…
you're nuts! Good luck but seriously – nuts! lol! My husband & I have had sex a grand total of 3 times since baby was born (she's 15 weeks). And we have a Valentine's date this Saturday & have a plan to have sex in the car cause it's the only way it's guaranteed lol! I completely admire your dedication, truely mission impossible – good luck!
YES – doing it more makes you want it more… haha at least it works that way for me! The snow storm that's had us out of work for a week and counting is doing wonders for our sex life, but week in and week out with the daily grind, sometimes you just gotta schedule it. Who cares, you're getting laid, right?
All I have to say is Trojans $9.99 @ Costco. They get the job done on the cheap.
I LOVE your idea…and trust me, the libido comes back (at least it did for me since I decided not to go back on birth control, so now every time I ovulate, I'm like a 15 yr old boy). Unfortunately, my hubby won't go along with it. I'm a SAHM so have all the time in the world to do stuff. It's my hubby who works more than FT & goes to school FT that is just too tired to do anything. I have to say though that being pregnant has helped tremendously in that department because he gets his positions ALL the time since strategically he can't help me out simultaneously. Thus, he doesn't have to worry about the whole foreplay build up most of us need. Good luck!!
Good luck Blair, I know you can do it. It isn't that difficult, and every time you O, you will be thankful you put in the time and effort.
Oh my lordy lord I could have written this (especially about bottling up those hospital days… I cried the night we came home, "Take me back to that Hilton w/ room service!) Throw on top of it that we live w/ my parents during the week and only have a home to ourselves on the weekends (it's complicated) and our sex life BITES. Plus after my husband failed to buckle her into her carseat for a 2 hour trip.. well, my vag literally has clamped shut. DO NOT MATE WITH THE MAN WHO CAN'T BUCKLE, it says to me.
And it still hurts a little too. And I had a c-section!
hmmm Costco for condoms? I'm a little jealous- wish I could do the same. have fun!!
I didn't inherit that gene. Thus, I had 3 kids in 2yrs. Which I don't recommend.
Somewhere between kid 2 and 3 H decided he was no longer a husband. One day last week, he was asleep at 7:30pm.
That analogy about just sitting there and not talking is dead on. I feel ignored. I feel lonely. And, honestly, I feel pissed off. I eventually stopped making an effort because I no longer care. He can't carve out an hour a night for me? I've started to do my own thing. I go to the gym. I read a lot more. I text my friends. I don't even miss him anymore, which is sad.
Good luck, Blair!! And good for you for getting it – in more ways than one.
Ouch!
Me & the husband have done it 3 days in a row and let me just say… not feeling so good today. Who knows- maybe you get used to it and the pain goes away? Good luck!
Blair – I wish you great luck. H and I were thinking of doing something similar to put the spark back in… And dedicate time to “us”. I do fear getting a BFP from this tho!! One last thing – have fun!!!
I AM an expert on marriage (at least, that's what they used to pay me for) and I can't help but feel this latest endeavor may just result in a sibling for Harrison if you are not careful…why not do something emotionally rewarding for your relationship for 30-days straight, instead of forcing physical intimacy? Sex will follow if you feel connected to one another, and you don't need to schedule sex in order to feel intimate with your husband (or vice versa). Just my two cents.
Very ambitious. Good luck. I've thought about doing the same…maybe you'll inspire us!
Wow. Ambitious plan! I had to schedule sex as well. I just didn't think of it after I had the baby, so i went through my calendar and regularly put a big x randomly on at least three days a week for the next three months. It worked. I'm definitely enjoying sex again and think about it more. Probably not ad much as my husband, but more.
Isn't it wonderful to have a husband that thinks you're sexy even when you feel you aren't? I have esteem issues because of the weight and where it sits, and my DH is the same way.
I hope your 30-day sexy shred goes well!
Yes, they sell Trojans at Costco.
Oh dear god. My vagina hurts just thinking about 30 straight days. ONCE we went 5 days in a row. Ouch. God bless you and your vagina.
haha… 30-day shred? try "30-day SPREAD"
You go girl!
hysterical. just made my first trek to your blog and LOVED this post. LOL funny. And to quote Karen from Will & Grace, it's funny 'cause it's true. bravo to you for sharing your story…all of your story. you're inspired.
Blair – I have followed your blog for a while, although have never posted. I thought I would this time to say that my husband and I have been married for 3 years and trying to conceive for 1. After a while, I found the counting and the planning on having sex tiring and unappealing. So, my husband suggested sex every day for 30 days. I agreed. We were done with our pact on day 5. But, a month later, I found out that during that time is when we conceived our first baby! We are due July 27 and are super excited. I love the idea of being intimate. But be careful!
(A side note, do to the position of the baby, I've been on pelvic rest since December… the doctor said, "You can do things for him, but nothing for you, honey." So, enjoy those 30 days, Blair. Someone has to!)
Blair,
I know we aren't BFF, but I like this. Good luck with it. I'm fascinated and challenged by the couple you posted. I've been meaning to read their book for awhile now! And you can find big boxes of condoms at Costco.
How inspiring!! What a happy hubby you will have, (and of course you will be happy too, if you can still walk at the end of 30 days
)
On a totally unrelated note, I think it's about time for a new Harrison picture. You haven't posted one in a while.
WOW…all I have to say is YOU GO, GIRL! I was really interested by the title of your post because I recently bought Jillian Michaels' 30 day shred.
I agree with everything you wrote and I can't wait to hear the update
Quite possibly my favorite post ever! When it comes to postpartum nookie it's all about fake it til you make it. The hormones will balance out eventually (I'm just getting my groove back at 8.5 months). Bravo!
I kind of am against this idea. There are a million ways to connect to your guy without your vagina.
yes, sex is important, but there is so much more to a marriage, to happiness than sex. I know my husband and I can reconnect after a good meal, a good movie, even a good workout. We don't need to have sex to " communicate"
whoever wrote that "bbyproof your marriage" book clearly had a mans agenda in mind, Pre-tell, how does this book propose for men to get in a womans head?
Oh, we still go out on date night once a week, still play board games, watch movies, etc. I can have a really fantastic conversation with him over politics, weather, religion, what shoes J. Simp wore at the Grammy's, etc. But the real difference between him & just a really awesome roommate? Sex.
& the book goes into great detail about everyone wanting a piece of the "Mom Pie," why we just don't want to be touched sometimes, the "mommy switch," mommy guilt, what we NEED from our husbands both emotionally & physically, etc. It does a really awesome job of describing what's going on inside the head of a new mother in regards to her protectiveness & loyalty to the offspring, changes in perception & goals.
& since it was written by three women, all mothers to multiple children, I highly doubt they were writing it from a man's perspective! More often than not, I think the book leans more heavily to the woman's perspective than the man's.
& damn, I always feel like I sound like a raging bitch in comments like these. Swear that it's not intended!
I think some people really underestimate the importance of intimacy in a marriage. These women who are all "Oh, I'm not in the mood, and haven't been for 3 years." I feel like they don't even try and that they are being selfish. Sometimes, I don't feel like it. But once the engine starts, I'm always happy that I didn't turn the hubs down.
Good luck on the new adventure!
Blair,
Good luck! We have done something like this before, although sometimes it involved baby-making. Although it may seem strange scheduling it, I always found that once you got down to it, you feel like an idiot for always putting it off!
OMG I LOVE this post!
i really admire you, Blair! but i have to hide this post from my husband. 6 months out from baby, and it still hurts! last time, i felt like throwing up afterwards!
I need to give you prop's! You just had me laughing at my computer screen! Kiddos!
Kuddos! haha