Honestly, I don’t even know where to start. I feel like I am on hyper-sensory overload from the constant, never-ending buzz of…well, LIFE. Being touched by Harrison & Nate. Curlers, make-up, starched collars on my button-down. Constant office chatter & questions. Papers shuffled, computers tapping, radios going, droning voices in a meeting, the ringing of a telephone. Then home to the oven timer, jumperoo songs, dog licks, ass slaps from the husband. Bath splashing, coos, cries, lotion, rocking motion, click of the glider as it rocks, dim the lights, slurping on the bottle. Dinner, the shower, oh-my-God-pushups-hurt, sigh, snuggle, hand in the dark.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
& I pull up my blog to write it all out but OH MY GOD, that’s more tapping of the keyboard, more thoughts swirling around, & PLEASE, can’t I just have a gin martini?!
But I miss writing. I miss y’all. & y’all miss me.
I’m wrapping up my second week as a working mother. I wish I could tell you that I feel MORE in control, but I feel astoundingly more like I am drowning. I feel like we’ve set this blistering pace of life, but I don’t know how to slow it down when I need it to speed up. Speed up & add 10 hours to my day, please.
5:45am – alarm clock rings. Nate & I make out & snuggle for 15 minutes. True story. It gives us a way to reconnect & look forward to our day. It’s cheesy, romantic, & full of stinky morning breath.
6am – I wake up Harrison, feed him & start changing. Nate gets ready for work, eats breakfast, takes care of the pup.
6:20am – Nate comes in to finish with Harrison, I start getting ready.
6:35am – Nate goes to crank cars, pour coffee while I finish getting ready & hang out with Harrison, praying he doesn’t puke on me & cause a full outfit change (I’ve started wearing an apron in the morning after I get dressed).
side note that our morning routine is my favorite part of the day. Harrison is happy, the 15 minute make-out session makes Nate & I feel rosy, my make-up is fresh & pretty, & the whole world is quiet around our little family.
6:50am – Morning commute begins. Praise God for my iPod & travel coffee mug.
7:30am – we reach daycare. For now, that means The Momma & Daddy’s. I make an egg & sit down with The Momma to eat breakfast. It’s a lovely time. Rush out the door at 7:50, trying not to look my kid in the eye as I plop a kiss on his pink cheek.
8am – work begins. paperwork. phone calls. occasional lunch that includes running to my parents to feed & play with Harrison. clients. annual review. occasional meeting. client that likes to be on the phone for 45 minutes to talk about her recent knee surgery & the infection it produced.
5pm – I race out of work, pick up Harrison, & start commute home. He usually licks Sophie the entire time. I make any phone calls to friends & family that are necessary – birthdays, new jobs, or the stereotypical “hey, how’s it shakin?” Pray that there is no need to stop at grocery store, pharmacy, or pet store.
6pm – Nate & I both get home.
6-7pm – We play with Harrison, talk about our days, etc. Nate makes his dinner. I should work out during this hour. But I don’t. (I tried the other day…no, really. I got through the 30 Day Shred warm-up & realized that my kid was grinning at me from his jumperoo and OH MY GOD, those cheeks. They have not met their kiss quota for the day, so Jillian Michaels BE DAMNED, I’m picking up my kid & playing.)
7pm - Harrison’s bedtime routine begins. oatmeal, bath, bedtime bottle, bed. We’re both present for oats & bath, then Nate takes over to give him his last bottle while I make my dinner & clean-up downstairs.
7:45pm – Harrison is down. Or at the very least, in his crib with the aquarium. We eat dinner, then I write or check blog mail while Nate does his own thing. I usually can’t cram everything I need to do for the blog in these 45 minutes, which leads to even more guilt. Even more guilt due to not spending this time with Nate when we’ve barely seen each other all day one-on-one minus a few stinky kisses & butt-rubs.
8:30pm-ish – I start getting everything ready for the next day. Pack lunches, set coffee delay, diaper bag, wash bottles, throw in laundry, iron clothes, etc.
9pm – I hop in the shower. Dry my hair. Peek in on Harrison one last time & listen to him breathe.
9:30pm – in bed with a book. Sometimes it’s reading Babyproofing Your Marriage together, sometimes it’s Voyager on my own. Sometimes literary wants take a backseat to marital relations (more on that, later. someone remind me to write a post about sex, okay?)
10pm - lights out. Let my mind race through everything I did, didn’t do, forgot, reminders for tomorrow, ideas for writing. Remind myself that I need a voice recorder to remind myself of these things. Subsequently forget. Fall asleep.
Weekends are slammed of cleaning, grocery store runs, paying bills, balancing the bank account, laundry, family duties, baby showers for friends, golf tournaments for husbands, & somehow carving out time to remember WHY we married each other & WHY we had a baby. I feel like I’m constantly “on.” I work full-time. & oh yeah, I’m also a mother full-time. So I have TWO full-time jobs. Genius. But I would really, really love an “off” switch to the constant chatter in my head, mommy guilt, performance anxiety, & pressure I put on myself.
& this is where I stop writing, because this shit needs to be a series about the working mother. Where I break down the marriage of a working mother, the isolation, the Mommy Guilt, & why I think stay-at-home-mothers have it easier (gasp!). Oh, & how my 3-month old decided to stop taking a bottle from me.
Also, why I need sponsorship from Merry Maids.
Oh, and tell me that Week 3 is easier. Even if it’s a lie.
It will get easier.
Molly Maids is cheaper and it took me until Piper was 4 months old to even call for a quote. Don't do that Blair, call NOW. It is worth it. I know it costs money. It is worth it. It was cheaper than I thought it would be and it makes SUCH a difference.
I've been back at work for 8 months now and I wish it was getting easier, but it's not. I envy stay-at-home moms too. I love my little one to pieces, but I hope she doesn't mind being an only child. Every day I'm becoming more convinced she will be.
Looking forward to your working mom series and your perspective on it all.
Oh girl, I am praying for you every day. I hope it gets easier for you! You're strong and I think you can do anything!
I read all your post but today I decided I HAD TO COMMENT.
THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS. I wish you would have given a big fat SUCK IT to all stay at home moms who don't understand (and b/c we are not-so- secretly jealous/guilty/annoyed we are not them). So many people don't understand what its like to be at the office for 9 hours and then get home and try to cram an entire day into the last few hours you have left.
HONEST TO GOD it gets easier, but not quiet yet. First comes the jealousy and more guilt for not being at all the honky dory play dates you hear about and how you think you miss out on everything, but then you adjust. We've been at it for 13 months now and things run a lot smoother. Park days happen on Saturdays and not Tuesdays and you remember to SLOW DOWN for 15 minuets and enjoy the little things.
<3 C
I just wanted you to reply because I don't appreciate the SUCK IT Comment.
I have been on both sides of that fence thank you. I have worked full time, part time, weekends, nights and been a stay at home mom.
Some of us don't have a choice and have to work. Some of us have children with special needs that require we make the sacrifice of lessons, special outings, vacations, special toys or oh I don't know making sure all of the bills get paid on time all the time.
There is guilt on both sides of that fence. Yes working full time and missing your baby blows huge donkey balls. Yes working full time and trying to cram a life into all the "non" (I say the non working with sarcasm) working minutes of the day is the most tiring non-rewarding awful, exhausting, busy and unfair thing ever but we all do what we have to do. Cause trust me there are some SAHM who are wishing we could give to our kids what you Working mamas are being able to. I also know that some of you Working mama (who I appreciate, understand and give mad props too) work because you don't have a choice. Been there and done that too. So while yes SAHM probably do have it easier. (Gasp I agree too) I take offense to the SUCK IT comment.
This mommy-guilt thing is hard enough to deal with lets take it easy on the hating, envying and outright judging and just agree that be it a working mama, full time mama, part-time working mama, SAHM, Weekend worker what ever it be.
Guess what…. BEING A MOM IS THE HARDEST JOB THERE IS.
Sorry didn't mean to write a book.
I love you Blair and I know how hard it is both sides. God Bless you and Harrison and Nate. I won't say it gets easier but it gets normal if you know what I mean.
Momma to 3
*Shay B*
I return to work on Monday… and I have to say, your post is making be cry even more! I am terrified of life as a working mom… I just don't know if I can really do it all!!
I don't know what this is like to work full time, but I know what it is like to be gone away from my baby- I am a Reservist and am gone for 48 hours once a month, and two complete weeks here soon. And now, I am having to fulfill my duties as a daughter as my mom is in the hospital and my family needs me. Try taking care of an infant, in a hospital that doesn't allow the baby in the room of the patient, plus make sure that your dad eats so he doesn't end up with her. So I know what the constant going is. And at least you have a schedule. We don't and its hard.
I am thinking about you and your sanity are in my prayers and thoughts.
Also know, you are an inspiration (and you should write a book one day, when you actually have extra time).
thank you for writing this – i love it, i hate it, i live it. (and i am jealous of your "routine"… as we have yet to find one, however chaotic it might be…)
and i anxiously await the time it "gets easier"… we're well into month three… and i still can't figure out how to not be "on" all the time…
Somehow it all fell into place for us. I have faith that it will do the same for you and everyone out there that is in the same boat. ((hugs))
I'm back at work about 2 days longer than you & OMG that's my day, except with Ava & Vince and less snuggle time. Need to learn to work that in better.
I'm happy with the decision to work full time, but I do miss just 10 minutes of me time. I hate that I keep meaning to shave my legs and forget… NUTS! 
It's good to know I'm not the only one in this
We can do this, becuase we're amazing women who can do what we set our minds to… whether it's staying at home or being working moms, men on the other hand… they'd struggle
Thank you for writing this post. I've missed your blogs, but I know that I will be under the same blogging hiatus once I go back to work in 3 weeks.
PS…my husband reads your blog too, and *gasp* I think he may be starting to get it. This sh*t is hard, I need his help, and I'm not the only emotionally drained mom/wife out there.
I give mad props to any momma that works outside of the home (I work at home). I don't know how I would do it and manage to keep my house and my kids above DSS-intervention levels. It sounds like you're doing a great job to me. If you have clean and ironed laundry, a "satisfied" husband AND you shower every day, then you're already doing better than me, and I'm home all day.
I can tell you from experience that when you have a baby, your entire routine changes, and you spend a few months wondering how on earth you are ever going to get everything done in a day. But, eventually, it does get better. You get in a groove, and you find time for the things that you need to do. It will get better, it will get easier, and it will make you a stronger person.
I read your blogs all the time and today as I read your latest post, I feel a little relief!! I feel the same way. My daughter is 19 months old and I still feel that way. It makes me scared to even think about having another baby!! There isn't enough time in the day. If you find that extra time please send some my way. Just know that there are others out there that feel your pain!!
I went back to work on Dec. 1 and I'm living the same life as you every day. I'm still waiting for it to get easier. Good luck! Enjoy your weekend…mine will be filled with cleaning, laundry, and filling the kiss quota too. Those cheeks are irresistible!
This is exactly what my life looks like….except I don't have a baby yet!!!!! I don't know how you do it all…..or how I will some day do it all…..I will give you a tiny but of advice…..I always have a million things racing through my head about work….i even wake up at 3am and can't sleep becuase I am thinking of those things. My boss gave me a great idea….instead of waking up and writing everything down until you go crazy, you could call yourself on your office phone and leave a voicemail for yourself….It is so much easier and it takes less time becuase then I can just ramble everything out and it is done and over
Some days it's easier, some days it's harder. This week I'm mired in work, to the point where I feel like I'm a horrible mother, wife, friend, and daughter while I am nose to the grindstone. I feel like a giant FAIL. But last week was good, and easy and smooth. I figure, take it day by day. Some days ache, and some days don't. I look at the working moms in my office who have older kids, and they all promise me that it gets better a little bit at a time, so I choose to believe them.
And I go home and snuggle the kid and listen to him laugh and let that be my reward for the hard work I'm doing.
I'm due in 6 weeks and this is my biggest fear. I have to go back to work, it's not an option and I am constantly thinking about how am I going to be able to spend enough time with my husband, baby, and go to work when I already feel like there aren't enough hours in the day.
Speaking 21 years after the point when my mom began the professional shuffle-dropping me off at my sitter's (then daycare, then school)- and then came home: One day, Harrison's going to look up to you (or down, maybe) and be thankful for the mom who did it all and was still his mom first and foremost. And proud. And damn impressed that you could do it all + then come home and do more. It might take two decades. But I promise, because I am one of those kids, that it happens. You probably know all of this, but I hope this is a little encouragement! You are awesome.
You make this all sound so challenging. I know it's hard but it's not THAT hard and maybe if you let go of the rigid schedule a little it would be even less difficult.
Maybe you should try to squeeze in a walk during your lunch, to make up for the time that you can't work out at night. Maybe you should contemplate hiring a "mothers helper" to run some of those errands that seem to be hard for you to get done.
Maybe a cleaning lady once every 2 weeks.
There are a lot of ways to make this new life more manageable. it doesn't always have to be an overly verbose cataclysm. You can just take a breath, decompress and realize that some days it's just not all going to happen and after 5pm it really doesnt' all have to happen at bulleted time points. And why can't you and Nate eat at the same time? I don't get that.
Oh, and 15 minutes is an insanely long time to suck face. LMAO!
So, according to your post, you spend about 3 hours with your baby a day. Much of this time is spent driving. This of course is assuming you're not totally full of shit. I mean 3 hours to get ready? Most guys have trouble getting ready in 15 minutes, and that's without showering.
I have a feeling this author has some major issues with the truth. Where's all the time she spends on blogs?
Sorry, but you are a terrible mother, and sitting here on proclaiming how little your child means to you is disturbing. Your child should be first in your life. You are selfish and need to re-evaluate your priorities.
If you don't like how she does things quit reading her blog.
funny how you don't have a blog we can look at to see how you do things.
I don't need to. I don't feel the need to parade my life on the internet for others to see and comment on.
P.S. I don't read her blog, someone I know does and was commenting on how selfish this lady is, and I thought I'd comment. I mean that is what this comment box is here for right? If she doesn't want public opinions, perhaps she shouldn't be putting her life on public display.
All I can say is you must not be a parent or you live in some la la land where it all works when you have a family. I am lucky enough to stay at home and I get over whelmed and some days I write or blog when I should be doing something else. BUT its how I use my brain, its a me moment and its not selfish to take a few minutes out to do something for yourself. "Blair" speaks to a lot of moms out there and you know what if she doesn't speak to you don't read it. But there are lot of women out there who appreciate her whit and honesty because WE FEEL the exact same way and these is nothing selfish about doing something for yourself.
Ow, my heart!
some people cannot afford the luxury of not working. so get over yourself and move on. all you wanted to do is start something.
GWB can suck it!
You don't feel the need to parade your life on the internet but you have time in your day to leave such cruel, insensitive words to a mother who is already having a hard time. AND you have the nerve to be anonymous. She doesn't mind public comments obviously and she most certainly has the tough skin to deal with idiots like yourself. But If you're going to be a BITCH be proud of your Bitch status and at least sign it with your name. Now i'm not a bitch I'm going to take time to be a bitch to you and therefore I'll sign MY name.
Would you rather her baby get less sleep in the run of a day, so she can spend more quality time with him? Because, if you haven't thought about this, by the time the average person gets off work, picks up their child/ren from daycare, then drives home, and if you also take into account the average time a child goes to bed at night (oh, sorry, mayube not YOUR child, right?) then there really isn't much time left there in the middle. Do yourself a favor and think on that a while….
Your rude comment literally made me gasp. It seems to me that you are the horrible person. Blair works her butt off to provide for her child and spends every moment she can with him. It is evident, even in the quick schedule she typed above, that she loves him dearly. Being a new mom is tough. And from everyone I know who is a working mom, that's pretty frickin' rough. Maybe you should, as one reader put it, stop reading her blog…and ya, don't try that whole "I don't really read it" crap, because no one believes you.
Eww! I really don't like you. You obviously have no idea what it is like to be a parent let alone a working mother. It takes all I have (energy, sanity and time) to stay at home with my children, I couldn't imagine working on top of it. Having children is a blessing but it is hard ass work and ya know what, a woman is allowed to be exhausted at the end of the week damit! A person as cruel and as mean spirited as you should really consider sterilization- YOU should not ever be a mom.
Yay for Blair!!! You are a wonderful, strong, smart and funny woman and you are doing a damn good job. Don't let these wacko's get under your skin
I completely agree with everything Rachel said! Blair, LOVE your blog – keep up the good work!!
Your schedule sounds very similar to ours, except I'm up at 5:15 with no foolin' around.
It is suffocating and hopefully in the near future I can work it out to be PT. Although it's very difficult in its own way, being a SAHM was a cakewalk compared to this.
I have to wonder why this blogger struggles so much with what the rest of us call LIFE.
Seriously consider having a 2nd or 3rd child because if you can't juggle one…………
Most daycare program's can accomodate 2-3 easy.
Ugh, you again.
So now you have problems with daycare? What do you think working mom's do with their kids? Lock them in a closet all day? You are ridiculous.
Agreed…
You must be a Saint. I'm sure you win mommy awards and all that jazz- if only we could all be like you because you are amazing and never feel any pressure. I hope you feel my sarcasm.
I'm glad Blair posted because many of us are sometimes overwhelmed by this thing called life. Everyday isn't a trial but some honestly get difficult. I prefer to encourage people or constructively criticize rather than be harsh and incapable of empathizing with others. I wish others of you would make an effort to do the same. It's like there's always competition to get the biggest bitch award.
I have no children but I have parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews, and even tho some mothers feel only mothers can ever say anything about children, I'd like to encourage everyone reading this to remember to teach their children tact and decorum. Honesty shouldn't be devoid of understanding.
Thank you so much for posting this!! As a new mom who is dreading going back to work because I believe I won't be able to keep it "all" up I really enjoyed and needed to read your post. While it may seem to you that you are falling apart at the seams or have guilt about not meeting your standards you have set for yourself you are doing a pretty awesome job. I am assuming that figuring out a schedule that works the best for you and your family takes time and it already looks like you have begun to figure some of it out.
To me right now you are like Superwoman! I hope I can do half as much as you get done in a day.
First, your blog is fantastic
Great stuff !
Now, to my point – I agree that us SAHMs have it easier in most ways. I am not sure though, why, if this is supposed to be a blog about working mothers, one of your topics would be about how SAHMs have it easier. I mean, you really DON'T know that – how could you? Admittedly, I think my daily schedule runs at mostly a happy pace. Granted, I never sit down (much like you, I'm sure) – there is always SOMETHING to clean, cook, prepare, buy, put away, launder, etc. on top of caring for a baby. But, I do not have the added pressure of performing at a job and managing a career. So, while my schedule is easier, I still have "mommy guilt" – when I am folding laundry and running errands vs. interactive playtime, when I throw together sloppy joes for dinner instead of a healthy, home-cooked meal (because, really, what do I DO all day?!), or when the house is dirty AGAIN.
Some days seem really long…while I wouldn't trade the time with my daughter for anything – there are days that drag, and days when I feel kinda "less than" – and THAT can be tough. Its humbling to go from being a high-income, corporate America "go-getter" to contributing nothing to my family's finances. Its weird going from a pace of a million miles an hour and juggling a dozen demands to SAH.
Overall, I DO think I have it easier (right now…ask me again when I have more than one kid
!). But, I guess what I am trying to say is – there's no need to put us SAHMs down (by telling us how much easier it is to BE US than YOU – because that IS a put down, however subtle) to make your blog an interesting and helpful one for moms who work.
I hope you settle into a pace and routine that work for your family soon. Hang in there – I am sure you will be an expert juggler in no time.
I stay at home with my five-month-old and I would never argue that I have it easier than a working mother, at least in terms of the day-to-day juggling act. It is still not easy, of course (I don't care whether you work at home, stay home, work full-time or part time – if you're worth anything as a mother of a baby, it is one tough gig) but I can't imagine going back to the career I held pre-baby of 40 (usually more like 50) hours per week in the office, plus the commute and the preparation that work entails. I admire those who can do it all.
HOWEVER. My husband and I have made, and will continue to make, several very major sacrifices in order for it to be possible for me to stay home. And while I do consider myself blessed in order for it to even be an option, I will never let anyone belittle the total life realignment and everything we have done in order to make this a reality for our family. It's just a different kind of hard.
Here is my .02. Life as a full time working mother is hard. 99% of working mothers will tell you it sucks most of the time, but I am not quite sure why it is so much more difficult for you. I not only work 45+ hours a week but go to school for a masters full time, work out and find time to be with my husband and family/friends. Maybe you need to prioritize just a tad? Move bedtime back a bit to 10:30, don't spend time in bed reading, eat at home with your husband instead of your parents, and if worst comes to worse – don't blog. Think about what is more important – your child and relationship, or trying to be cool, witty and popular with your blog? You have already said that you continually sit down to type something out and can't think of anything, but why? No one will die if you take a break and enjoy your family. Trust me, do you want to look back in 10 years, 20 years and think 'Man, I wish that I had spent an hour playing with Harrison, or relaxing with my husband instead of trying to entertain random internet strangers with blogging?'
Maybe I am in the minority with this thinking, but it seems like every time I get on your blog you are complaining about something else and you ALWAYS act like you are the only one who has ever been through colic, reflux, working, etc…. and you have had it worse than anyone else ever. I hope that you can get your life in order and find some happiness.
Are we reading the same blog??
She can complain because it's HER blog…don't read it if it pisses you off. I don't find her selfish in the least. I'm at the same point as her and my life is very difficult right now. I wish I had a blog where I could vent for a litlle while some days.
Bria are you the friend cv was refering about in her first post?
I could not agree more with Bria.
What was it exactly that you were expecting anyway? The perpetual complaining is exhausting. The rest of the World manages to balance this juggling act, yet you need a 42 page dissertation on why it's the hardest for you.
It's a long drive to daycare, give her a break. :>
I'm going out on a limb with single, no kids, and cats?
I second the cats. She is, in fact, quite the little…well, that's a word I don't like to use.
But it starts with the letter "P."
and ends in "ussy."
Oh Blair…
I've followed you since you were pregnant with Harpie. Both of our pregnancies have been mere weeks apart. Harrison and Keevia are both October babies.
I'm a SAHM. Do I think your job/life seems more challenging? Why yes, I do. But, in response to all the comments about you complaining about it so much… I think you complain because you WOULD rather be home, its just not a possibility.
Could it be a possibility with sacrifices? Yes, possibly. But you stated before that there are sacrifices you're willing to make, and sacrifices you aren't, and I completely respect that.
I think that yes, a stay at home Mom may have it easier than a working mom when there is 1 child in the mix, but when you start adding kids, I think it may start swinging in the SAHM's favor… It's exhausting taking care of one and a household, let alone more than one.
I would recommend maybe taking a little bit of that money you saved on cable and using it on a maid service, once a week or once ever two weeks until Harrison is a little older… I KNOW how hard it is to clean when you're home all day, I can't imagine how hard it is to clean (especially when you're anal like us ms.to-do list) when you're never home.
Good luck m'dear.
Kudos to you for saying what is seems many others are feeling. To the negative commenters, whatever happened to if you can't say something nice, keep your mouth shut. Seriously, where are your blogs, where you talk about your lives that I'm sure are all puppies and rainbows. This is Blair's blog, and she can write what she wants.
Blair–get the cleaning lady. It's the best money the mister and I ever spent. Hope things get easier for you.
again, as above:
This is her blog, she can write whatever she wants. This also is out in public space, so we can comment however we like. If you don't like it, you can also choose to not read her blog. It's a free country.
Panty-twisting from anonymous! Folks locked in basements forced to read my blog! Someone who cannot do math!
THESE COMMENTS HAVE IT ALL.
awesome!
also, I PROMISE that the SAHM vs working mom thing is not as inflamatory as that one sentence made it sound, or as degrading as you may want to interpret. Promise.
Yikes, there are some crazy comments today.
I stay at home with my 8.5 month daughter. (Well, I work 10 hours a month.) I do think it's easier than if I had to work full time. But, there are pros and cons to each.
To those of you who say Blair wouldn't know what being a SAHM is like, she did stay home for about the first 3 months of Harrison's life, that would give her an idea of which is easier for her.
Blair, I love you blog. (I've been a reader since Harpie.) I think you're doing a great job. Keep it up.
Blair,
Screw all the ladies above me that are spending their "precious time" reading your blog. If they dont like it they dont have to read it! As a fellow sarcastic blogger, I know the importance of venting and complaining and telling it like it is. Its a form of therapy for people like us. And…………..thats why you are the number 1 Mommy blogger!
I heart you.
Katie
Darlin' i have read your blog for a long time and dont want to be someone that blows smoke up your ass, but the comment about feeling like you're always "on" is how I feel exactly. In fact I've said that to my husband on a number of occassions. I have no answers for you, just wanted to say that you literally took the words out of my mouth. good work! and good luck!
It will get easier. Promise.
I am a single, childless woman and an avid reader, big fan of this blog. A blog, by definition, "…serves as a publicly accessible personal journal for an individual. Typically updated daily, blogs often reflect the personality of the author." (http://www.genderit.org/en/index.shtml?apc=j–e–1) Let's review, shall we? The operative words in that definition: personal, journal. Blair is writing about her life, her experiences. As I recall, there is no over-arching institution that forces Americans to access this site and read her (hilarious, witty, touching) words. If she complains, LET HER. THIS IS HER SPACE TO DO THAT. If YOU don't like it, check out the millions of other blogs on the internet. Clouding this page with your judgment of her life and choices is incredibly tacky and fucking annoying. While enabling a comments section allows you, the reader, to share your thoughts, there is no need to insult Blair as a wife, mother, writer. She is awesome, this blog is awesome. As a blogger myself, I know that I turn to it when I am feeling down, bitchy, miserable. The quiet space is often better than a best girlfriend and a bottle of wine.
Bria is RIGHT.ON.
Take a break from this blog. Hire a maid. Lower your "motherhood" expectations.
As a stay-at-home mom, I think I have it easier than a working mom. This is part of the reason I chose to be a SAHM and I feel infinitely blessed to be able to do it. Yes, I think it will get more difficult with more children, but I still think I would feel more stressed working & trying to manage life with multiple children than staying at home with multiple children.
One idea to carve some time for yourself & your little family. Pencil in weekends "away" in your calendar. Pretend you are actually going somewhere even though you are just staying at your house and tell other people that you cannot make any plans that weekend since you'll be "away". Helps cut down on those obligations so you can just relax at home. Relax being a relative thing, of course.
Hang in there.
Wow – some of these comments are pretty harsh. It's a HUGE adjustment going back to work and you are only two weeks in – at that point in my return to work I was INSANE with the load of it all. I didn't think it was MORE or LESS than any one else…. just very different from my old (waaaaay more carefree) lifestyle (where happy hour could end at 10 p.m. and I could make it through work the next day completely hung over b/c I knew I could go home and sleep that next night.)
My maternity leave was 12 weeks, I returned to work full time for about 8-9 months, and then made the decision to stay home full time. I can't say it is easy to stay at home – (rowdy toddler anyone? for me that is harder to deal with a temper tantrum than a cranky client). and i can't say i don't miss going into the office and being (ahem) professional. Currently my child is 18 months old and I still feel like I am changing/adjusting/trying to find the balance that works for my family.
Sounds to me like you are doing great and loving on your husband and loving on your baby.
It's hard and that's all there is to it. Keep writing when you have time! I love looking back on my writing during the stressful times… because it was how my life really was at that moment.
To the b!tch that said Blair is a bad mother for not spending more than 3 hours with her kid – get over yourself. She spends three quality hours with her kid. That's amazing. Its called being a working mom.
Blair – Disregard the haters! Being a working mom sucks but the feeling of being super mom is awesome, no? We had our DS close together and went back to work the same day, so I feel you. Your schedule is a lot like mine, but I get up early to work out and don't have to commute more than 7 minutes for which I feel awesomely blessed.
Harrison will learn from you that a strong woman can do it all for her family. And hopefully someday we'll both be SAHMs and get to smooch a little bit more on our boys.
Agreed. None of us are forced to read this blog and " blair" is at the liberty of discussing anything she wants in any manner.
however, when she starts ratting off what her day entails and how she can't juggle it, it's hard to not wonder why she is so seemingly incapable.
Perhaps some of it is her "fluffing" her blog to be more amusing which is fine.
I know that for me, I enjoy reading about the adventures of other moms, but find myself rolling my eyes at the constant complaining and inability to just function on a basic level.
and canceling cable to save a buck? Why not cancel Nutri System which is something like 400 a month.
Stop obsessing about YOURSELF and what you look like and accept that the day you pushed that kid out you gave up YOU being your number one priority.
Sure, we all need to get back in to post partum shape, but when our ability to manage our family is clouded by our vanity I think there is a problem.
Wow…I didn't think it was possible to insult someone's weight, income, husbands income, and the entire Hispanic community all at once. But yet your real complaint is that she cancelled her cable???
GWB – How awesome of you to sneak in some racism in the middle of all your outright b/tchiness. douche.
Sure thing, send me your address, phone numbers, maybe some pictures of you and your kids and I'll be right over. Maybe we can all take a ride in my big, white, window-less van.
Why all this hating on daycare? Its great for kids to have social play and time with peers. THEY need it! I teach 2 year olds and the ones that only come a couple days a week verses the kids that come full time are BRATS! They have no discipline, no structure, and no clue how to interact with other children. I'm not saying that you have to send them full time or whatever, but get over yourself.
So are you really really heavy or really really skinny? I'm having a hard time figuring it out- you either don't have to or can't lose your baby weight. Maybe you have a blog and it stinks? Is it jealousy I'm sensing? I don't think it's the least bit vain to want to lose baby weight, you are not supposed to keep it in the first place. I think it's awesome that Blair cancelled her cable. YOU are nuts.
Are you suggesting that she keep the cable and give up the Nutri System so that she can spend more time sitting in front of the TV instead of trying to lose some baby weight?? I think you must sit on your couch all day long and watch your beloved cable, making rude comments on blogs, instead of spending time with your children or trying to be the best that you can be. YOU are the one not living in REALITY. Get a grip.
Stop victimizing yourself. It's a blessing, not a punishment to have a child and have a job in this very unstable World which we live. You clearly have not mastered the art of multitasking or choosing your battles.
Exactly. I put myself into a position so I could work from home so I could be around as much as possible. I could get paid alot more going into an office, but there's sacrifices i'm willing to make for my child.
GWB, you're a fuvking cunt.
Blair, I love your blog. I don't have kids, but I know it'll get better. Good luck to you!
Wasn't the whole point of her post pointing out that she doesn't have this multitasking mom thing down yet? And why isn't that okay? Not everyone is perfect on their first try. So what? Blair is layi-g out her insecurities for all to read, which is why i read her. I like that someone is feeling the same way i am.
And GWB, get over yourself! I am a sahm and i HATE women like you who act holier than thou because you're making such a big sacrifice. Every mom makes sacrifices somewhere, some time and it is not for you to judge their parenting capacity based on what You think their life should be like.
You know I have had the best of both worlds. Worked full time after maternity leave for 4 months and have been home for 4 months. I am going back to work full time on Monday. Staying home full time with O was the hardest job I have ever had. I saw your post on WM earlier about feeling left out and you… we don't all lunch and go shop all day. In between is up at 6:30, feedings, fussing, no naps, negotiating with a teething and miserable child to eat a little bit more, sleep a little. Sometimes we go out to lunch and walk the mall just to get out of the house and get human contact. Staying home isn't glamorous, half the time I stay in pj's and DH comes home to a grumpy, frumpy mama. But, I have loved every minute of it and wouldn't change it for a penny.
It is hard to adjust going back to work and the real world after being home with the baby, but maybe if you are having so much trouble you should take some time to yourselves to adjust. Don't let it get too overwhelming and ask for help if you need it. Good luck and let me know if you need anything.
Ummm have any of these previous negative witches READ your blog before? Cause maybe if they HAD they would know you're on day 10 of a completely new life here, and things are just a little overwhelming. And that despite the challenges you've had with H to date, you're not one to complain. And in fact, I don't think you're complaining here at all.
I was exhausted reading your list, and all I could think was "I hope that since I don't go back for a year post-partum, this will be easier for me, because that seems INTENSE". I think you're doing a good job trying to figure out what works, and it cannot be easy ever, for anyone.
To those of you nut jobs criticizing something you don't actually know anything about, get lost. If you spent more than 5 mins around here, you would know that this is simply the venting of a new mother, just back at work, trying to find her way. I didn't read where she said her child wasn't important, or that she thought her blog popularity mattered much. I also neglected to see the part that said she had it worse than every other working mother out there? And I really don't see it took her 3 hours to get ready in the morning?
And I for one would HATE to live a life where making out with my husband for 15 mins a day, reading a book or trying to spend time with my family and get in shape didn't matter at all. Or where I had to sleep only 4 hours a day?
Life is about balance, and when Blair's found hers and is rocking it, she'll kick all your asses. I promise.
some weeks are better than others.
CV – fuk I wish we all had YOUR life. You're so clearly totally together and never ever ever have a moment where things seem overwhelming or tiring. It must be nice. Too bad we're not all as awesome at everything as you.
The first part was sarcasm right? So you are implying you want blair's life? GL with being a selfish bitch who seems to feel like her child is just another burden in her life.
No I just wish I had a life with no worries, no busy moments and no being tired. It would be so nice to be able to sit and be a judgmental asshole because I had it all figured out.
I am not a selfish bitch and I've never once thought Blair was anything but doing the best for her child. If you don't think so, that's fine, you clearly know her personally and know everything else about her life.
Oh wait, you don't. You're just being judgmental because you're so miserable you have nothing better to do than pick on people, who are having a moment.
Have you never felt a second of "whoa I'm overwhelmed" in your life and then vented to get it out? Ever?
Pretty sure you told me GL being a selfish bitch.
Enjoy your luxury car, I bet that makes you SUCH a better mother. I also enjoy my life, and I'm not identifying with Blair really at all. Seeing as I am not yet a mother, how could I possibly know what she or anyone else is going through? I just know what happens to my normal working mother friends. They have to adjust.
And SOME of us, find writing therapeutic and a nice outlet. I for one gather my thoughts better when I'm writing, and it saves me from not handling real life poorly.
She didn't say "hey people on your high horse, come judge me" she simply posted to her blog. Your choice to read and ridicule was completely your own.
You schedule a makeout session?
Do you pencil in sex at the same time every week too?
I think you are making it up. Don't believe it for a second.
First you whine about how hard it is to be a Stay at homer and now you are whining about being a working mom.
What about single moms out there doing it all?
Get over yourself already.
Lots of people schedule sex. Haven't you ever watched Oprah?
Yeesh.
Hookers included!
WIFE WHORE!! ::runs screaming through the streets in platform shoes::
How dare you make out with your husband you whore! You act like you are married or something sheesh.
You clearly don't know know her. She always has time for smooches. And who said anything about scheduling? She just DOES that.
Oh man I WISH I could spend every morning making out with my husband. What an awesome and wonderful way to make sure you stay connected. Our baby isn't even born yet and we have a hard time doing that sometimes. I think that's amazing. And an important step towards keeping your marriage alive…so you don't turn into a bitter bitch like SOME people….
Can we forgo the SAHM vs. working mom debate and get to the real issue….making out with morning breath?!?!?! Ewwwww. Just kidding (sort of)
And please don't stop blogging….not all of your readers are judgy mcjudgertons
But the majority are, and that's why this is the internet.
yeah the whole making out with morning breath makes me throw up in my mouth a little…but whatev.
Apparently GWB also made sure she put herself in the position to be an internet troll. Here is an idea, instead of being a jackass on someone's blog, go spend some time with your kids.
Also it's classy to basically say that women who can't or don't want to stay home shouldn't have children.
Agreed!
I never said a woman can't work. What I said was that SHE was hardly spending any time with her child. Sure a mom can work, but her #1 priority should be her child. It's pretty well documented that a link exists between children who never see their parents and problems later in life.
And who said I was a she? lol.
As I stated earlier, I work mostly from home so I can be around my child.
I must have missed the part in her post when she said that H wasn't her #1 priority.
You do realize that MOST people don't have the option to work from home, right? So by not working from home, she's hardly putting something ahead of her child.
And damn her for not living closer to work, having to commute and sucking up 8 hours a day in a job. If only she made a point to go see her son at lunch time…oh wait, SHE DOES. Selfish bitch.
OH OH OH maybe she should keep H up past a normal infant bedtime, and give up reading. Because how dare she read while the baby sleeps!
Why didn't you mention that you had a penis earlier? We could have just ignored you because you know diddly squat about being a woman. I'm sure your children will be straight A students, never do drugs and practice chastity until marriage because you stay at home to work. Note that commenting on blogs and playing Farmville do not qualify as "work". I bet you wanted to stay home so you could justify sitting at the computer in your underwear all day. I can just see you now in your tighty whities with a coffee stain on your undershirt, prematurely balding head and little hands. Yucky, just threw up in my mouth a little.
I'm sorry, but try being a SAHM…that is not easier. INFACT, I am sure that if roles were reversed you'd be complaining about that too. Not to mention you bitched for weeks about being able to go back to work because your baby was making you crazy.
Give us all a break.
oh jesus. shut the eff up peeps. blair – you are awesome. screw the haters.
Ok 2 posts in one comment section may be excessive but after reading some of this madness I must.
Blair YOU are amazing and if I was a publisher I would sign you today and I have a journalism major. I appreciate what you say and how you do it and am thankful for you. You have even made my husband 'get" a few things. Schedule sex, bitch about your job, whine about reflux DO IT whatever and keep writing about it, the majority of us love it! The rest well forget them so not worth it.
PS I stay at home and was not even offended by you… my hubby lost his job today and I just updated my resume *GASP* so I may be in your shoes when I was so thankful I wasnt. But you got to do what you got to do, damn being an adult sucks at least we get sex right?!?!
Oh and post something about sex – just reminding you!
A journalism major eh? Now normally I don't bring up abuse of the english language, but she's claiming to 'have a journalism major'. So let's examine:
First, one simply doesn't acquire a journalism major; however one may acquire a degree in journalism.
Second, take a look at the run-on sentences.
Third, let's talk about punctuation, or should we say the lack thereof.
Maybe you're better off letting your husband look for more work.
"A lot" is two words, GWB. After you let that percolate a little, try brushing up on your possessive vs. plural rules before commenting further. Those of us who are not totally batshit crazy appreciate it.
It might be, I'm not a journalism major though. I mostly rely on spell check and simple grammar rules I learned in elementary school.
Unfortunately, you did not pick up on basic math skills quite so well. tsk tsk!
Please show me the corrected math then?
I'm pretty sure I accounted for the time you claimed spending with your child, and it came out to slightly over 3 hours a day. Much of that time was spent in the car. You also claim you spend 15 minutes getting ready, which we all know is not true. Because of this, I rounded it to 3 hours.
Feel free to correct me.
Okay, honey. Read slowly. I don't want you to miss anything!
"I mean 3 hours to get ready?"
5:45am -6:50am does not equal 3 hours. Furthermore, 6:20am – 6:50am does not equal 15 minutes.
It is 30 minutes. 50 minus 20 = 30.
& since I shower at night, it is a quick 30 minutes to do hair, make-up, & dress. oh, & still have time to tickle my kid, sing songs, & make him laugh.
Hey GWB, I claimed to be a writer not a copy editor and quite frankly when it gets down to it… I could care less if there is a typo in my blog comment. Thanks for pointing it out though.
Writers know basic sentence structure. People don't show up to the editor with a story written like a 4 year old unless they are kim kardashian.
It was more than a simple typo. It was a complete abuse of the english language. Almost every sentence is a run-on. You use almost no punctuation. Sorry, but those things are the basics of writing.
Maybe you should get that resume to a copy editor quick.
Also included in a basic set of writing skills – capitilizing people's names.
Goodness GWB you must have had a seriously bad day to be this mean. If I had even imagined that you could carry my degree into many of your comments, I would have refrained. I, most certainly, would not want to add fuel to your blazing fire. But, alas, I did =( ( and yes I know that was not proper usage of those symbols)
Watch out making a mockery out of my bad day, many say Karma is a bitch.
The english language? Although I learned in elementary school that it should be "English" language, even spell check picks that one up for me!
I seriously cannot believe all the negative comments about this blog post. How dare any of you judge what she is going through right now, especially if you've never had to juggle everything that comes along with being a working mother. Being a mom is hard work, no denying it, but being a working mom is even harder. Not only are your responsibilities greater, like Blair mentions in her post, but you also get the added bonus of missing your child so much that some days your heart actually hurts.
pssst… GWB – your comments and clicks and all this time you've spent generating buzz is actually helping her blog stats.
(and I'm LMAO that your "friend" told you about this post. Keep it coming, you're insanely hilarious in a Spencer Pratt sort of way.)
Oh I'm fully aware it's generating clicks. It's not really generating much in the way of actual revenue however. You really only make any real money off ads when people buy stuff, and we all know most of this traffic is other bloggers with most of the same ads on their own site.
Just trying to spread a little love around the internet. 'The truth will set you free' John 8:32, it just may hurt a bit.
BTW, what really tickles me and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside is knowing all these unhappy mommy bloggers posting in here all have their panties in a bunch.
Not really.
please elaborate. :>
Okay, see how the ads on Blair's site are so much prettier and less fugly and obtrusive than those ridiculous GoogleAds all over most of the other blogs? That's because people pay her to put their links there. And guess why she can actually charge people to put their ads there? That's right! Because people like you click al over her blog a ton!
It's basic advertising, but I'm sure you picked up on that in elementary school, too.
Oh, you work in IT. Well, that settles it then.
Funny, all the IT people I know don't have anything to DO with AdWords and marketing. Those my friend, are called Online Marketers. I know this one. I'm a marketing manager for…scary, IT companies.
I'm sure Jesus thanks you profusely for providing such a shining example of the Bible & its scripture!
He sure does. Although he prefers when I give him a tip, the car wash hasn't been very happening with all this bad weather.
Just pointing out, since grammar and God have been discussed here, that you forgot to capitalize the "H" in He when you referred to God. Just saying.
Oh yeah, God Bless. lol.
haha. Nice name btw! Has anyone figured out what mine stands for? Here's a hint, he's republican!
Huh, I thought it stood for Guy/Girl Without Brains….
WAIT? Fuk the what? I'm pretty sure that's the exact OPPOSITE of what she said in that post? Maybe you're dyslexic.
another journalism major?
It was pretty obvious to me that those statements were being made in an attempt to convince herself that she really is not resentful of the situation because the truth is too painful. If there wasn't any resentment there at all, it wouldn't have even been brought up to begin with. Lots of denial and repressed anger there if you can read between the lines.
I guess you've read every post, and seeing that you got yourself a psychology degree online for $29.99 or whatever, you know everything and are TOTALLY qualified to make those judgement calls.
We're so lucky to have people like you, psychoanalyzing through a blog..because NO ONE has ever left anything out of a blog. Since you've read a few posts, you know everything about Blair. I bet you even know her real name!
I must have hit a nerve somewhere in your personal psyche to have you come to her defense in this manner. Perhaps you should look within to see why you are reacting so strongly to this. Going through something similar perhaps?
Nope, not at all. I just don't have time for bullying fuktards who like to psycho-babble about things they know nothing about. I don't need you to psychoanalyze me thanks, I've got my psychology minor. If I needed some half assed assumptions based on Psych 101, I'd consult a text book.
You know the type of people that get warm fuzzies off picking on babies?
Serial killers.
I bet you kick puppies, too.
I am entertained. It is so funny to me what people take out of this blog and blow it up and turn the comments section into their own personal rants and raves.
It's a BLOG people. Isn't a blog a place to vent, dump, and whine? My kid is 9 months old and does not sleep through the night. Do I blog about how tired I am? Yes! Do I bitch about things people deal with every day? Of course! Don't we all? If you have nothing better to do than to be an asshole then you have a sorry life. And FYI, Blair takes NO offense to your asshole comments. So if you are trying to piss her off, you don't. She laughs at your sorry asses. So the only thing you really do is provide her entertainment.
xoxo
Just wanted to point out that you're bitching about bitching about bitching. Not sure if that has any impact on you, but just maybe it will put some things into perspective for you.
Oh, I'm not bitching. You clearly can't read tone. That is fine. You miss a lot it seems. I'm clearly pointing out the obvious facts. Blair and I have had a good laugh tonight over this. Like I said, pure entertainment over you crazies.
I hardly ever post comments, but this turned so freaking insane I could not resist the fun.
FASCINATING that those with the issues regarding this post have not left links, no?
Not one of them! Shocking! Not.
I was starting to wonder if SOME of them are the same person? What do you think?
Well, I'm one person. Not sure about the others.
Those are the voices in your head, sweetie.
They make medication for it. Or maybe your pal Freud will be willing to comp a session for you?
GWB, you are a piece of work! If you are anything in real life as you "sound" in your comments — then I feel sorry for your kids for having such a negative role model for a mom who gets off on making other people feel bad. We're all entitled to our opinions but there is no need to just make mean and cruel comments for no reason. Judgmental people like yourself think you are so perfect and above everyone else, when you've got plenty of flaws all your own. I hope you have an annoying friend that criticizes everything you say & do. Keep it up honey, what goes around comes around.
Blair – Love your blog! Keep writing and don't pay attention to these ridiculous bashers.
Mother, father, whatever you are — you did say you have a child and what a poor example you are to whatever children are in your life. You're right, it is a public space. And we have to accept that unfortunately the public includes people like you who like to stir the pot and just be a jerk, all the while quoting Bible scripture no less!
My pastor has this saying that "hurt people will hurt people." So must be something in your life causing you to be this way. Maybe you should spend some of your blog-bashing time soul searching instead. Sorry you have such a chip on your shoulder. I'll pray for your lost soul.
We love you Blair….keep on writing girly!!!! Bitch like no one has been through worse…and tell us the goods that gets you through your days…just remember to post about sex…
MUAH!!!
I completely understand where you're coming from. This was my second week and it was way crazier than last week. Absolute insanity at the office, which meant getting home later than planned (cue the mommy guilt!!)
I have to say though, I am so jealous of the fact that you actually have a routine, including bedtime! My baby currently is on the "I'll go to sleep when I feel like it, and wake up every 2 hours" plan… which means Mama has no sleep, and no time to do all of those 7:45+ things on your list. Ugggggggggggh.
We'll all learn how to do the Working Mom dance one day, right?!
Wow. Just wow.
Anyways…. I understand your scheduling frustration. You will have to figure out what schedule works best for your family, but that takes time. A cleaning lady sounds like an awesome idea even if its every 2 weeks.
I don't take offense to the SAHM comment, but others who can't interpret well or haven't read your blog for awhile might not understand why you said that. I think most women would love to work part-time from home with the occassional office visit while grandma or hubby had some one on one time with the babe. Its just not reality.
You can't exactly easily sell your house and I'm sure if you could work from home 2 days a week, you would. So for all of those nasty comments out there… Shut up! This is blair's place to tell her real, honest, raw feelings. Her blog is popular because of that very reason. Who wants to read a perfectly happy blog about a perfectly perfect person day after day??? Not me. If that's your cup of tea, go read those blogs.
Blair…found your blog a few weeks
ago through another blog I follow and love it! As for all the hatred tonight I am reminded of why most people in today's society arw huge disappointments! Shame on you all for 1) critisizing a new mother trying to figure
it all out and 2) spending all your time
getting so worked up, dont you have anything better to do?
Blair, it will get easier but it will still be hard! I am jealous of SAHM every minute I am at work but I am there so I can help provide a good life for my children because in my situation that is what I HAVE to do.
And GWB, yes we all know you must be a man "since you never said you were a mother" because only a man would be so mean and not understanding of a working mom's perspective and feelings.
I want to cry for you. I don't know how you do it. I am a SAHM. We made it work b/c there is no way I could leave my child. I do think being a SAHM is easier b/c I get to be w/ my baby. You are doing a good job. You need to do what works for you and everything will begin to fall into place.
Hi Blair! Don't worry about all of the craziness and judging. Your life is so much like mine – complete with the mommy guilt, the wife guilt, and what people don't understand is that it may or may not be justified. Who cares! All that matters is that we continue trying to do our best, and we love our husbands and children.
Is there any way Nate can help with day care pickup/drop off? That is one thing that I have help from my husband with – I honestly couldn't get both sides done. I have an hour commute too, and that plus a full time job is a lot.
Good luck! Even if the pace doesn't slow down much – you'll get used to it and it will FEEL like it does. I hope anyway:-)
Coming in wayyyyyyyyy late on this train wreck and holy crap!
I read this blog a lot but never comment. Sometimes I love what Blair posts and sometimes I absolutely hate it. I think all moms struggle. Be it first time mom, stay at home mom, single mom, working mom, work at home mom. It doesn't matter. We are all in the same boat, yet we feel the need to try and make each other walk the plank for no good reason.
Yup. Being a mom is hard. Yup. Working is hard. There is no doubt. I guess now that I have 2 kids I have learned what I didn't want to accept with just 1. That you have to resign some of the control elements and just learn to go more with the flow.
Blair is still wet behind the ears learning her new gig as full time mom full time employee. It's a juggling act to say the least. BUT its not something to go in to the hall of fame of martyrdom over either. You'll adjust. I mean, re-read your own post Blair. Re-read how together you actually have it considering your child is not even 6 months old. Maybe you need to give yourself some credit and instead of trying to diminish your mom abilities by posting blogs that seem to criticize yourself, just post about your day and how you got through it with your chin up.
Yes, you do complain a lot at times, but shit, we all do. I guess my point is that maybe you should just take a break from the blog and reflect on how good you are actually doing all things considered.
A husband that gets kissed- check
A kid that gets loved- check
A job- Check
8 pounds lost already-check
a full time blog ( your 3rd job)- check
Oh. and seriously. Get someone to clean your house. your time with your family is more than worth 100000 times thecost of a cleaner every 2 weeks, and so is your sanity.
As for nutri system. All I can say is puke. I tried it once and more power to you, it was NOT for me.
Hang in there, and maybe hang up the keyboard for a bit. Reconnect with how well you are doing and stop harping on what still is a work in progress
It will get easier! I agree with u that working is harder than staying at home – at least with one baby. I stayed home with DS til he was 5 mo. and sometimes on his own he'll sleep til 8am and i could sleep til then too, but now I have to get up before 7am, and wake him up at 7am to feed him and get him to daycare. BUT, I think this all implies 1 child. Once you're staying at home with more than 1 child you probably can't nap when they nap and your stay at home gig is looking more like an in home child care provider. GL! it is sweet that you and Nate make time for each other. My husband and I don't.
I'm leaving a comment for the first time to counteract the dreadful people above who spent so much time writing mean, untrue things that are deliberately meant to upset you, Blair.
Please don't take a break from your blog. I love reading it. I will understand if you need to take a break for you, but I would be very sad. And I would feel like someone who totally gets me is gone. Plus, to those who say "drop the blog," the blog can potentially lead to bigger and better things one day for Blair (see Armstrong, Heather). You have a gift for words. I say, keep it up.
SAHMs have it easier than working moms. It is a fact of numbers/hours, and if you have ever done both you know in your heart that it was harder as a working mother. That's all one can say about that. Blair is putting it nicely.
And to the commentators who think that now that Blair has had a baby she is not supposed to care about herself (aka working on her body with Nutrisystem, in the best way for her), I would like to introduce you to a little thing I call Divorce. People like you, who think that children are the number one priority after you have them, get Divorced. A little "selfishness" on Blair's part to keep in shape and stay happy with her husband will go a long way toward keeping their marriage solid. Children are not the number one priority. The marriage is. And if Blair is unhappy, Harrison will be unhappy. So it's important for her to be happy with herself, first.
Ignore the haters, Blair. You're doing a great job with your life and your baby, and you are inspiring all kinds of people who don't usually comment.
I know I am "late" to the party, but I had to respond after reading the comments.
As a full time working mom of two, I have to tell you that I AGREE with you 100%.
What you are feeling is normal and REAL. I am glad you wrote this post because I've felt this very way.
My kids are now older (6 & 9) and I still have this moments of overwhelming stress because there just isn't enough time in the day.
I wish I could be a SAHM, but that isn't possible so I try and do the best I can. I take days off to chaperone field trips since I can't be a classroom mother. I take them to the parks on the weekends. I let the house stay cluttered longer than I'd like so I can spend the time I'd use to put everything in its place to play with the kids.
Anyway, you are awesome, and you WILL get through this.
I had a "GWB" on my blog, too. Always ready to jump in and question why is it soooo hard? It's so hard because I have 3 kids 23mo apart. That's why.
We don't live each others' lives. I tend to think, "Please…." when people struggle with 1 baby. Because, to me, just having 1 is a piece of cake. I do the eyeroll when people bitch about "only" getting 4hrs of sleep because my 20mo old doesn't sleep more than an hour at a time and I'm lucky if I get 1-2hrs of sleep broken up a night. But, hey, that's my perspective. I can realize that it DOES suck for them and they have every right to say it sucks, even though, to me, 4hrs sounds like a slice of heaven!
When I was home with my oldest, I thought the SAHM was pretty sweet. Then #2 came along (and #3). Now, I miss working. A lot. I envy my husband's commute to work because he listens to the radio in peace and drinks his tea. I never get to drink my tea. I envy his lunch break because I don't get a break.
I agree about getting someone in to clean. Cut that off your list.
Like Becky…once you have more than 1, it's like running a daycare! My mother calls me during the day sometimes and says, "How's the daycare?!"
My husband never makes time for me. And I've stopped trying to make time for him. So, don't end up like us. Forget the cleaning. Screw the exercise now and then. Order take-out and forget the cooking.
I think you're doing great. As you know….we all have our "GWB" or our "Anonymous". Eventually, they get tired of us and move onto another blog to bother.
GWB, did you miss the part where her day care is her mother and father? I'm pretty sure that's free.
this is my first time commenting and i just have to say Blair, keep it coming! I look forward to reading your blogs. I am a SAHM fo 3 kids adn 8y/o, a 22 mo old and a 3 mo old. It is not easy but I cant imagine leaving them. I worked ful time when I just had 1 and it was so hard, just as you described it. you pencil in everything and feel like you are short changing your kids. It will get easier and dont let the negative comments get you!
ps HIRE THE MAID!!
Wow! People are ignorant. Girl, I had my first baby (a boy) about a month after you had Harrison- and it is such a process to get acclimated to LIFE! I think all of the nay sayers either don't have kids or have forgotten what an adjustment having a new baby is. Thank you for sharing with us what you're going through.
Honestly it didn't start to feel better for me until I'd been back for a month. Even then it wasn't about liking the situation. It wa more about acceptance of tough noodles! This is how it's going to be for awhile! I switched jobs when my son was 7 months old. I thought the new job would provide a better work-life balance. Because that's what you're trying to find, Blair, a balance between the two very different worlds. But it was worse! I had a nervous breakdown and quit my job 6 months in. Now we are struggling a bit financially and I'm struggling emotionally with accepting my role as SAHM. Cuz for realzies, I love my son but dear lord, it's not for me. My mind is constantly on overdrive. I'm on zoloft while pregnant if that tells you anything.
Blair wasn't saying that she has a harder life than any other working mother, she was expressing the feeling of a new mom being back to work. The constant go-go-go that I am currently feeling, as are many moms when they go back to work.
Also, I don't think they live their lives on a schedule- she was just showing us a typical day in their lives.
Thumbs up for being honest. Nobody ever said parenting would be sunshine and roses – but I'd be willing to bet that the good times seriously outweigh the bad. At least I'll keep telling myself that in 6 weeks when I go back to work!
Blair, you're awesome. You're a great mom.
Everyone in this post who was douchey, you're a bunch of fucktarded cunts. (probably, technically ONE fucktarded cunt virgin who lives in his mom's basement with 6 cats and plays WOW)
I apparently slept thru the madness!
Republicans don't kill me- but it figures that someone with the initals of our former president would write such nonsense. I wonder who he got to read your blog for him in the first place…that must be the "friend" he was talking about. And yes, I say he because I would hope that no woman would be so unapathetic. Every woman deals with different circumstances and as everyone else has already stated it is YOUR blog Blair, and therefore your right to say whatever and however you feel. We all know that beoming a mother means putting your child first, and I don't think Blair ever said she didn't. And keep blogging all you want Blair. I believe it is healthy for a woman, a mother, to have an outlet besides work, kids, and husband. As my Aunt told me, "Happy Mommy, Happy Family". I know too many women that put themselves last and everyone else first. At the end of the day they are unhappy and resentful. There is nothing wrong with a little me time. Perhaps GWB could use a little himself.
Yes, GWB, it is the internet and you can comment however you like, but I don't see the need for knocking other people down. The only people that behave that way are insecure people that are trying to make themselves feel better. And for someone that seems to think blogs are such a waste of time, you sure spent a great deal of time on this one last night.
I know you have been on both sides of the fence Blair so you do understand what goes into being a homemaker and a SAHM. It is a tough job, but I agree being a SAHM to ONE child is easier than working FT. I do, however, agree with a fellow commentator that being a SAHM to 2+ babies is much more difficult and I have also been on both sides of the fence.
I am now a SAHM to TWO babies and taking caring of them, the house, myself and my relationship with my husband is more work than I ever did working full-time.
I do agree with others that you "seem" to take on too much and not knowing you personally I don't know if you exaggerate for the blog's sake, but if you really do feel this overwhelmed (and that YOU need to do it all) you need to re-evaluate.
Set priorities for yourself and hire help for the rest. You DESERVE a maid service. Start there and hopefully those days will get easier!
I was happy to hear you say you shut off the 30 day shred the other day to hang with Harrison! Take it from someone who has been there….these are the days you will never get back!!!!! Soak them up and cuddle with that boy as much as possible. Unless you are Biggest Loser worthy and in a life threatening unhealthy situation then working out CAN wait. You don't have to work out every day if it means sacrificing your time with Nate and Harrison! I love reading your blog and I hope you find some balance. I feel for you though. It must be tough to leave Harrison when you have to, but don't want to.
Wow. Nothing like some Mom-on-Mom crime. This is why so many women feel incompetent as mothers. We all have a hard job…. raising our children. It would be nice if we could just help each other instead of judge each other. Being a Mother is hard enough without worrying about what everyone else is thinking of us.
Monkey? Missed ya.
Blair-you are not a bad mother, you are a normal, hardworking, frazzled, time strapped, woman trying to do it all. SAHM do have it easier. You are doing the best you can for your family. I thought every word you wrote was so true and I SAH and feel that way some days. Don't let the negative comments get to you!
I love you Blair! Being real and honest is what makes your blog so wonderful. I wish my morning breath wasn't so bad because I would love to make out with my hunny in the morning HOWEVER I dont want to kill him so I don't think it's happening anytime soon
I have been blessed to be a stay at home mom for the last 6 years (and those days are quickly coming to an end) but it is hard work. Women like yourself who do my job PLUS another on top of it really amaze me. I'm sure in time it will get easier but for what it's worth you are doing a far better job than I'd ever do after two weeks back at work. Just remember- the only opinion that matters is Harrison's and he just loves your butt to pieces!!
(oh and BTW- sorry I got so nutty with that piece of turd GWB on here- losers piss me the hell off)
Wow. When I read this post, I really didn't think it was flame-worthy at all. I don't understand why everyone's all up in arms. I took it to be a day in the life/getting adjusted/venting type of post.
I do think that the SAHM vs. working mom is kind of a tired debate. All it really does is make moms feel bad for choices they've made. There are benefits and drawbacks to both; both are hard in different ways. I think it's safe to say that most moms out there do what's best for their families – no one has the right to judge that, unless there's abuse or neglect involved. Clearly, that's not the case here.
Blair, I think you're doing a fabulous job. Good luck finding the balance. I'm a SAHM, and I still haven't found it. Maybe there isn't one.
Wow. So much is extrapolated from one little blog post. Blair, I hope you catch your breath soon. It's really difficult to go back to work after having a baby. I have 2 girls who are now bigger (15 and 4) and so I can tell you it *does* get easier. The first year is just a huge test of stamina. Keep your eye on the prize and try to grab family time and Zzzzzs where you can. No matter what, you *love* Nate and Harrison. I know plenty of stay at home moms who spend all their time on the computer/phone/with friends and/or in front of the tv, and never take advantage of the opportunity they have to be an awesome mom. If you ask me, that's way worse than going out there and providing an income for your family. Also, when it comes to blogging – I don't think you should ever give up something that is fulfilling to you as a person. Being a Mom doesn't mean you have to lose yourself. It's *you* time, and from what I can tell from your description of a day in the life, it sounds like it's the only *you* time you have in a day. Happy Moms = Happy Kids. If it makes you happy, don't give it up!
Blair,
I just wanted to know that I read your blog religiously and I want you to keep writing!!! I hope that someday this blog will pay your bills and you can stay home with Harrison.
Thank you for sharing your life with us. Your posts have made me laugh out loud, cry and shudder. Its why I keep coming back.
Blair-
Being a working mom is so hard. Somehow you cram in all that a SAHM does plus a full time job. It's exhausting and sometimes you feel like you'll never get a break. Things will get better though (I already feel less overwhelmed and I've only been doing it a little longer than you have). You start to fall into a groove.
Good luck adjusting. You're doing a great job and Harrison is lucky to have such a strong woman looking out for him
~smilelari (from thebump)
Geez Louise! Nothing to add except love for Blair! Hope this is a better week for you, Blair! As a very lucky SAHM to one, agreed, you DO have it rough, but my fairy tale won't last forever when we move back to the States next year, so keep writing so I can maybe get some idea on how to handle it all when my gig is up!
Sounds so much like my day except I don't have the baby in the car while i commute. It really is a challenge to get it all done and still have some time to yourself. seeing your child so little every day is tough, but part of life. Sucks.
So while your day is so similar to mine the one thing I do not and will not do it talk on the phone while driving. Please stop this practice. It is a danger to you, your precious child and others on the road. You are better off driving drunk than driving and talking. Even if using a hand's free device. Just something to think about.
I think it's wise to stay off the phone when possible and I admit that sometimes I fail misserably and do pick it up BUT to say it's better to drive drunk than talk on the phone is stupid.
Ok so it is not better to drive drunk, but it is equivalent. Oprah just did a whole show on the dangers of talking and driving. Basically it is a LOT more dangerous that people think and studies have shown that the level of impairment while talking on the phone and driving is equivalent to that of someone driving drunk. Made me put the phone down and make it a rule that i will never again talk while driving.
"Is having a cell phone pressed to your ear while behind the wheel the equivalent of driving while intoxicated? According to a study by University of Utah psychologists, the answer is, unfortunately, yes.
"Just like you put yourself and other people at risk when you drive drunk, you put yourself and others at risk when you use a cell phone and drive," writes David Strayer, a psychology professor and the study's lead author. "The level of impairment is very similar."
The study, published in the June 29 issue of Human Factors: The Journal of the Human Factors and Ergonomics Society, found that drivers talking on cell phones, either handheld or hands-free, are more likely to crash because they are distracted by conversation.
Using a driving simulator under four different conditions: with no distractions, using a handheld cell phone, talking on a hands-free cell phone, and while intoxicated to the 0.08 percent blood-alcohol level, 40 participants followed a simulated pace car that braked intermittently.
Researchers found that the drivers on cell phones drove more slowly, braked more slowly and were more likely to crash. In fact, the three participants who collided into the pace car were chatting away. None of the drunken drivers crashed.
"This study does not mean people should start driving drunk," said co-author Frank Drews. "It means that driving while talking on a cell phone is as bad as or maybe worse than driving drunk, which is completely unacceptable and cannot be tolerated by society."
One of the things that scares me most about eventually becoming a mother is this Mom-v-Mom judging thing that so many people seem to have going on! Blair, as someone who will have little choice in whether or not to go back to work after having a child (I make more money and my job will secure him/her a 75% tuition credit), I appreciate the raw honesty you bring to your blog. There seems to me to be too much pressure on mothers to wear a mask of, "Everything is fine because I have my child." Why can't mothers be real and have struggles and find outlets? I hope your new schedule becomes easier for you. ::hug::
Oh honey. I feel your pain. I wish I could tell you that it gets SO much easier… but you just have to take it day by day. I find that Mondays are by far the worst because you get so used to having time with baby. But as the weeks go by, it gets…. manageable.
Hang in there… if I can do it, I'm SURE you can!
I think it's really sad that people use someone else's blog to vent and argue. It's BLAIR'S BLOG, if you hate it, go say a prayer for her and move on with your life. We do have the public right to comment, but it's just sad that some people don't have self control. It's also lame that as women who ALL have busy schedules, yes- all of us!! that we find time to read these ridiculous comments and get riled up about it. Let's all go tackle our to-do lists, enjoy life, stop hating on each other, and let Blair do her thing, 'nuff said.
And- if you don't agree with me, feel free to let me know, but I WILL NOT click on the comments to see what anyone else wrote to me because I have BETTER.THINGS.TO.DO.
Blair, hang in there, being a mommy does get easier, just remember how lucky you are to have your little guy. I'm on baby number three as you know and unfortunately lost the one to sids which is very hard. Love them every minute.
I think this is out of control. However, Blair can't complain too much since she was always the main bully on thebump. She was always judging everyone who she felt asked "stupid" questions or had any opinion different than hers.
A favorite saying of the thebump bullies, "life isn't always puppies and rainbows".
Awesome article! I'm really surprised about this. I can't wait to see what happens. I look forward to reading more of your upcoming blog posts.Hey, have you seen any new movies lately? Don't wait, Watch Iron Man 2 today!
I have been a full-time, part-time, and stay at home mom and you are right: staying home is the easiest option. I know, it's total taboo to say, but it's true. Let's face it, no matter how hard it is to be home all day, you don't have an alarm clock ringing at 5:30.
And Mommy Guilt is universal. You just find different things to feel guilty for when staying home, like not teaching your child French by the time they are 2.