Scrub-a-dub-dub.
Yesterday morning, I was nearing my wit’s end. He woke up at 8am. Bloody effing hell mad at the world. Three hours later, he was starving, but too riled up to even grasp the bottle.
So I stripped down. Stripped him down. & climbed in the shower.
Let the pattering of the warm water soothe him while we rocked back & forth in the shower. When he was finally calm, Nate handed the bottle through the shower curtain & I fed him. In the shower. We had 20 minutes of complete, relaxing calm (although he did pee on me). Minus how aching my arms were at standing, swaying, & holding both a 13-lb baby with one arm & a bottle with the other.
If only we could have stayed in there for hours so he could have napped. Unfortunately, we did have to get out, which meant into the cold & resuming of the screaming. Despite a clean towel warmed in the dryer & fleece jammies put on immediately. While Nate wrapped him in a fuzzy blanket, trying to “shhh” him to a level where he would take a paci or at least allow me to rock him, I sat on the nursery floor & cried.
A week of inconsolable screaming at 12+ hours per day of said noise. The desperation of using the shower as a way to soothe the child. I officially needed a break.
God bless The Momma & Daddy. They babysat Harrison yesterday afternoon so that Nate & I could just spend time together. You know, where we could hear each other without having to mime words over the ear-splitting pitch of colic/reflux/whatever. So we went & snagged some sweet, warm lattes to ward off the bitter cold (20 degrees!) & grocery shopped. I never though I could re-connect with my husband over the frozen veggie section, but anything is possible these days. It’s all about re-thinking romance – gone are candlelit dinners & roses after work. But in a sweet way, Nate letting me have the first sip of his Gingerbread latte so that I can snag the candy bits & helping me find the best avocado in the bunch feels just as tender.
It won’t be like this for long, Mr. Darius Rucker.
Filed under: My kid hates me, The I Do's
I swear, Hootie's song gets me through the worst of it.
Our little man's colicky days seem to be over for now, but there were times that my hubs and I would just look at each other over the roar of the hair dryer (the only thing that calmed our son down – he would not sleep but he would stop crying) and laugh.
And even during those days, that damn song made me tear up. I promise its awful now, but I am sure in time Harrison will not be screaming his days away! Plus, it might make going back to work easier right?
I totally feel your pain. My baby, now 6 months old, went through everything that you described up until he was 5.5 months old. It was very difficult, especially because he has a brother who is 11 months older than him, and I have two babes who need my full attention. We tried different formulas, Enfamil Nutramigen, Enfamil Gentle Ease, the Similac versions, and finally settled on Similar Rice Starch. That filled him and didn't bother his stomach. (I have found with both babies that Similac is more sensitive than Enfamil.) During that time, our best friend was Mylicon.
When he was about 5 months old, the screaming crying started again, and we were told to switch his formula to regular Similac Advance. We have a different baby now. He is finally HAPPY and smiling all the time. It is AMAZING! I can't wait for Nate, the baby, and you to get there.
I'm not trying to be a know-it-all or trying to shove this in your face, so I hope that you don't think that. One last thing, the doctors told us that colic and acid reflux are outgrown by the time baby is about 6 months old. Wishing you the best in 2010!
Veronica
It's funny, that song plays in my head at times like that. Our guy is similar and it;s amazing what walk, a drive, or a shopping trip with yout husband can do to make you feel normal again and maybe even laugh about it,
I have had times like you where all I can do is cry. But who cares, it feels good,
: )
I think it was very clever of you to resort to showering together! I'm looking forward to the times when Nathan and I can do that together. Right now he's too little and squirmy and I'm sure I'd drop him. I'm sorry that Harrison (and his mommy and daddy) is having such a hard time!
It won't be like this for long!! (That is right on!) Last night I was in tears watching as my once colic-doomed baby was now holding his own bottle and putting himself to sleep. Enjoy the "baby" time even if he's screaming, even if you have not showered in 5 days, and even if you are beyond the point of exaustion. Oh, how I miss it! (And how I swore I would never say those words)
Your husband sounds like a wonderful man! I hope it gets easier for you soon.
Oh have I been there! My baby was colicky, had reflux, and milk allergies from day 9 of life. There were many days I'd have to plug in the vacuum just to get him to stop crying. Nothing else worked not even me holding and rocking him. I was in tears almost as much as he was.
Now I have 14 month old and he is the happiest, smiley baby there is. It does get better and it various when for everybody. Just get through it one day or minute at a time
Hi Blair, I just wanted to say hang in there.
Yes, hang in there. I have no idea what it is like (yet) but climbing in the shower, getting a break and finding that moment with your husband all sounds like exactly what you should be doing to cope.
Yes. I was right there with you. I remember coming home from the store to find Dh with the baby in the bjorn and vaccuming the living room. The vaccuum was the only thing that kept Ian calm (he had colic from 3weeks until he as 4 months old). We also tried steaming up the bathroom with the shower on and just rocking him in there. That also helped. The vaccum, the bjorn sling and the steamy shower were the only things that helped. We tried zantac, different fomulas, gripe water (it helped a little too) but in the end we had to just wait for him to outgrow it. And they will even if you think that day will never come. Ian is the best baby now its so funny how hard it was in the beginning, Jason and I would take turns holding him and vaccuming. Our floors were super clean those first few months!!! hang in there it gets easier. He will outgrow it soon I promise.
Another thing, I saw this once and giggled at how ridiculous it looks, but maybe you'd find it helpful?
http://www.cafemom.com/dailybuzz/pregnancy/7132/B...
Oh dear, that sounds just awful. I'm sorry it hasn't been easier but I bet $100 that you will sail through the toddler years with a happy smiling child! Grocery shopping being romantic? I never thought of it. All I know is that DH and I have serious trouble getting out and about these days. Maybe it's the below 0 temps. Maybe it's the fact that babysitters seem to be non-existent. I'm sad though. I just want to go to the movies with my husband. Is that too much to ask? Sigh.
Even though I am a total stranger to you, I hope little Harrison calms down soon – for all yall's sake. But you are blessed with a great husband and a great attitude. Take the moments away with Nate when you can and do whatever it takes to get a little peace – even if that means you spend the day in a warm shower with your babe.
That Darius Rucker is right – it won't be like this for long. My boys are 22 months and 6 months now and it feels like all of a sudden they are huge. Hang in there!
This may be an obvious one but have you guys tried a bouncer seat with vibration?
Good luck!
I just want to say you are doing a fine job. For me the worst part of going through colic/reflux what have you is the overwhelming feeling of frustration and helplessness. Honestly, I don't think my son had it *that* bad. But I do remember crying…a lot. I felt so terrible because I couldn't do anything. Here I am, his mother, and I can't do a damn thing to soothe him, comfort him and take away any pain or discomfort he might be feeling. That was the *worst* for me. But I got through it, and you will do. Take heart in knowing that Harrison won't remember these days, even though they are pretty unforgettable for you! It's nice to take a time out and be alone with the hubs to reconnect. I haven't been as fortunate in that department. Hubs and I haven't had a day alone since before C was born a year ago! But it's all good….we use the time after C is in bed to talk and reconnect. Ya do it when and where you can!
Blair~
Hugs to you!
I was there with my first child who is now 6 1/2 but I can still well remember it! I know there are times that it doesn't matter what anyone says, nothing makes you feel better but I will say it anyway!
Hang in there!! It WILL eventually get better. Although I know there are times it seems like that won't happen.
I found your blog through thebump, my son is a week or so younger then Harrison. From your posts you seem to be a wonderful mom doing the best she can for her son and that's awesome! Just keep doing it!
Perhaps a water sling would help? http://www.taylormadeslings.com/tms/html/catalog….
Good lord, blair. I'm so sorry. As someone who is on the other side of colic/reflux and a milk allergy (and I was BFing, so I couldn't even drown my sorrows in a pint or four of Ben & Jerry's) I can only tell you that it DOES get better. It does. Really. It peaks (and maybe, just maybe, you're there now) and then it gets better. Now Joshua only fusses when he's hungry or sleepy. When he was Harrison's age, I thought I'd given birth to Oscar the Grouch.
One thing that I found worked for us was going to the mall, putting him in the Moby, and just walking. Sometimes for up to three hours. Did he scream his fool head off in the car on the way? OH GOD YES. But once we got there and I got him in the Moby and he settled down, he was good for a while. And when I hadn't showered for days and didn't want to leave the house, I'd swaddle him and once I'd finally gotten him to sleep, I'd sit in the chair in the living room and hold him for as long as it took for him to sleep. Even if that meant I was holding him for three hours. You're in survival mode now, so you do whatever it takes.
Hang in there.
Hang in there. It WILL get better, I promise.
I remember with Brooks (who had colic) on one rough night/morning episode, I had him in the swing, vacuum running and the hair dryer blowing under him to help him relax. When he finally fell asleep at 3 am that morning, I slept on the playroom floor beside the swing because there was no way in hell I was moving that child -no way. Every time the swing stopped, I started it again. I wasn't risking it.
We do what we have to in order to survive. But survive you will. You will live through this. It will get better. I can honestly say that it starts to fade and you won't remember all the trouble at one point, otherwise we wouldn't do it again and have more children, but we often do. I did. And lived through a second child (who fortunately didn't have colic, whew!).
Hugs, prayers and nestie love. Hang in there. You will survive.
Oh, I am so sorry. Do you have to return to work tomorrow? I've been thinking about you and H.
I had a summer baby and when the witching hour set in, we would walk up and down the block. I would walk with the shimmy-shake that soothed (attitude from baby if I didn't sway enough) and shaking a little baby maracca (sp) that made just the right level of white noise that she liked. Did I look a bit strange to the neighbors? Probably, but we had three babies born on our block within 4-5 weeks.
I worried about taking her to daycare the first day because I was worried that they wouldn't be able to hold her as much as I needed to to soothe her in the beginning. This, miraculously, was when we started to make the turn on colic.
Hang in there! You are a good momma and you are doing a great job. All we can do is our best and know that it will get better.
No words of advice for you…just wanted to say there are a lot of us cheering you on here…good luck!
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this! My baby had colic until right about her 4 month birthday and there were many times when I would JUMP at the chance to go grocery shop or pick up food while someone watched her, if only so I could cry my eyes out in the car on the way there. Don't worry, it will get better soon as he will grow out of it (hopefully!!). I've never thought about the shower idea, at least you know you have a back up plan whenever you really need it. Hope things get better soon <3
Hang in there! My daughter had allergies and reflux for several months. We ended up with Alimentum and Prevacid. Then it turns out the Prevacid was making her nauseous and vomit and by the time we stopped it, she got over the reflux. What helped calm her down during the crying jags was my husband or me bouncing on a yoga ball while holding her. We were too tired to do the bouncy-walk thing with us and luckily this trick worked.
I have been watching your blog for awhile and then I followed you over here. My son is 3 weeks old and has colic bad and this is my 3rd child and the first one to have it. My doctor recommended these bottles and we have been using them for about a week and they are working great. I am going to post a link in here for you and you can read about them. I got mine at babies r' us, but I am going to tell you I think they are a life saver. Hope things get better for you, I know what you are going through.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productI...
I'm SO sorry, Blair. I promise that it will get better and easier.
Yeah, hi, me again. I was reading everyone else's stories and it made me feel better so I thought I'd leave mine.
Josh had reflux/colic/allergies. I remember lying on the floor of the nursery pushing his Lamb swing b/c the batteries had died overnight and we didn't have more and just crying and crying and begging him to go back to sleep b/c we were both so tired.
He's 6 months now and SO much better. He's still a very… um… moody baby and NEEDS his routines or he's a hot mess. But I do remember those days and they are no fun but he WILL outgrow out it. You are doing a great job and are a wonderful mom so please don't ever doubt yourself on that.
Wow – I'm so sorry to hear he's being so fussy. Poor thing. I have a friend who has a daughter that acts the same way – she cannot/will not fall asleep without being held. The second you put her down and stop cuddling she's wide awake. I hope this phase passes quickly! Thank goodness for your wonderful DH!
I know it sounds trite – but it will get better. Both my girls had this. And both grew out of it. Cherish these times with the hubby. Because as much as you need to provide for the boy, you also REALLY need to provide for yourselves.
Good luck!
thank you for your honesty in regards to motherhood!
I'm sure you've heard this 50000 times, and frankly I'm no a mommy yet so WTF do I know BUT my close friend has similar issues to you, and the things that work for her daughter are, the blow dryer by her head (I guess this works like the vacuum?). Not AT her head but beside it. And heating pads/hot water bottles to take her out of the bath/shower (since the shower also helps her).
Just in case there is 1 thing you have not tried, I thought I'd share.
Hang in there, you're doing better than I could!