We’ll get back to tales of Harrison, McFatty Monday is starting with the New Year, & I am pretty sure that once I go back to work, you’ll be begging me to stop writing. Until then, this is my current mental status, like it or not (I, personally, loathe it). I’ve had a few people email me, asking me to broach this subject which I have danced around a wee bit both here & here. Because they’re also going through it & it’s nice not to be alone. Misery loves company. But I’ve never really hit full-on in-the-face without holding back. & although I shall try mightily, I’m not sure I will succeed. Because it’s tough. Kind of like when you admit to the universe that you absolutely, 100% do not know how to dress yourself 
You know that awful place where you go running to Facebook every 15 minutes after a party or holiday, just to make bloody sure nobody tagged you in a picture? Where you tell your kid to just hold the bottle himself because OH MY GOD, what if your cousin put up one of those pictures from Christmas morning where you’re in yoga pants with a local brewery t-shirt that used to fit back when you were 40 lbs lighter?! & people are all, Wow! Blair really does like her beer but come on, sweetie, lay off the hops because they are LOADED WITH CALORIES. & sometimes, you lie awake at 11:30 at night wondering if the person behind you in line at Target knew you were still wearing maternity pants even though maternity leave is pretty much over?
In the words of the State Farm commercial….I’M THERE.
So let’s talk about postpartum. It sucks. Every pregnant woman envisions the weight falling off beautifully with folks whispering in the back pew of church, “How did she do it?!” They envision perfectly applied make-up, highlighting the glow of “I just had a baby!” Sure, some mothers manage it. But let me blow the lid right off – THEY ARE FREAKS OF NATURE. They are not normal. They might even be aliens. Let me tell you, folks…that “glow?” It’s the light reflecting off glazed eyes that are constantly watering with hormones & WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME?! I was bruised in places that I didn’t know could bruise (the inside of my wrist & the bottom of my arse cheeks), & I’m not convinced that Harrison didn’t shatter part of my pubic bone. I bled off & on for 9 weeks. Sometimes like a stuck pig when I was least expecting it..like grocery shopping at 5 weeks when I thought the lochia was done & then WHAM! I’m running out of the grocery store like a twelve-year-old, hoping the popular boys don’t see the stain on my pants. I thankfully escaped hemorrhoids during birth (’twas a miracle) only to be greeted by internal hemmies two weeks after delivery (after speaking to friends, this is surprisingly very common & unfortunate). I only just got my wedding band back on two weeks ago, but I still have cankles from the swelling. I have stretch marks on my knees. I look like Nate took a cat-o-nine tails to my hips. & the joy of my stomach deflating so quickly has been completely sucker-punched out of me because honestly…after the first week, it didn’t get much better. & there is a spare tire of skin that spans about 2 feet from my upper thighs to my ribs, adding several inches to my girth in pure rubbery skin & lard. & just when you get comfortable in the “mom uniform” of horribly fitting jeans & t-shirts, you realize — I go back to work in two weeks. Which means looking presentable in clothes that fit.
I thought motherhood would make me want to roar out to the universe how incredibly awesome I am because I created 8 lbs of life & then pushed it out of something the size of a small fruit, but to be completely frank, I have not felt this uncharacteristically self-conscious & timid since sophomore year of high school.
Like I said, it’s tough. I look at Harrison & know that what I did this past year that caused this horrendous body is noble, beautiful, & miraculous. I should look in the mirror with my chin up, knowing that I CREATED LIFE. I don’t consider myself a brood mare for Nate’s male urge to populate Earth, but I did what I was built to do. What I was intended to do. & I did it well. That should make me feel like freakin’ Superwoman, no? Maybe it’s the down of coming off the high of pregnancy — minus the swelling, I felt beautiful when I was pregnant. Even with stretch marks & a vastly spread rear, I felt incredibly gorgeous. But now when I look in the mirror, I can’t help but want to cry.
It’s not just that I’m “bigger.” It’s that my body is 100% completely unrecognizable in both shape, texture, & mass. The belly is best described by my girlfriend Lala, who has long stated that a postpartum belly looks like a bear took it’s claws & went to town on a deflated balloon. Instead of wearing a 12/14 in pants, I’m squeezing into an 18. But I need a long (Jolly Green Giant, remember?). Good luck finding an 18 long in-store. & miraculous to find an 18 long on sale, but DAMN, I don’t have $90 to spend on a pair of pants. Unless I only want one pair. FRUSTRATION. & you’d think it would help that Nate still thinks I’m a hot little keg he’d like to tap, but the idea of squeezing into my lingerie makes me want to cringe into a corner. Because honey, I KNOW you love that little orange silk number from Victoria’s Secret that is reminiscent of J.Lo’s infamous green dress, minus the maxi-length, but it doesn’t fit. So please stop bringing it up. If you want to get laid, there are rules — lights dimmed, sheets over me, condom on.
I don’t know if I’ll ever look the same. Doubtful. It’s funny, ever since having a baby, I can totally look at someone & know they have birthed a child. It’s something in the spread of the hips. Which is terrifying, considering my hips were wide enough prior to Harrison, thankyouverymuch. & I wonder how long it will take me to accept this, considering it took me a solid 18 years to grasp my previous shape & embrace my height. The good news is, I think every single person out there hates their body after a baby, unless you’re one of those lucky bitches that actually looks better after a baby. (we had one of those in my family. she got Survivor’ed)
Although I will say, there is one fantastic result of having a baby — I NEVER HAVE TO WEAR A BIKINI EVER AGAIN. Let the Heavens open with praise! I have a fantastic excuse to never stress myself into 3 scraps & some string during the hot summer days. Because y’all, I had a baby. I happily get to cut myself some slack in the bathing suit area. Gone are the days in March & April where bikini season looms & I eat only one piece of cheese right before I nearly pass out (name that movie). I fully plan on always wearing a one-piece from this point on & as long as I look athletic, I find that very deliciously soothing. Silver lining, folks.
I am 15 months post baby and still struggle with body issues. I gained over 50 – I have about 25 more pounds to lose. But, I know that losing those 25 pounds will not make my belly flatter or my hips less wide. I have mourned the loss of my size 8s and officially purged them from my wardrobe – my hips and belly will never allow me to fit into them again (regardless of how much I lose). I am a 14. I need to accept that – I am a 14. It's hard. But, like you said, we created life and dammit, that has to count for something!
Maybe you should just work out and go on a diet. I know I know you love food, and believe me so do I, but if you're not happy with yourself why don't you try to change it? I don't know if you drink regular soda but cutting that out saves a ton of calories a day (thats just one small change you could make that could help in the bigger picture). Yes you birthed a child but millions of women do it and then start working out and feel good about their body AND what it can do! So why don't you start walking everyday with Harrison and cut out the soda (if you drink regular soda) and after a while you'll see a change.
oh, I fully intend to diet & I do exercise! I run with Harrison, I get on my elliptical at night, & Nate & I started the 30 Day Shred 2 weeks ago. I wouldn't be publicly bitching if I weren't going to change it.
& nope, don't drink sodas on the regular. & I even cut out alcohol in the evenings. I'm a water & coffee junkie.
That was rude and ignorant… read her earlier blogs.
agreed, Rachel. back the eff off, Justina. Blair, you are a rock star! just keep thinking about what your aunt said… and even as a total stranger, i think you're beautiful!!!
The Devil Wears Prada…I watch WAYYYY too many teeny bopper movies.
Thanks so much for being so open about this topic. I haven't had a child yet, but I know I'm always so self-conscious about talking about my weight. I love that you are so free to talk about.
GL in the new year!
Thank you for writing this
I have a husband, like yours, who thinks I'm dead sexy no matter how awful I feel. Even when I'm gassy and feel huge from this pregnancy, he tries to turn on the sexy button because he thinks I'm awesome for making a baby. No matter how much we try to build ourselves up, we will always have that 15-year old self-conscious teenager in us who just wants to be a hottie. I'm glad I'm not alone!
I'm with you Blair! I will never get back my pre-baby body and sadly I only had my size 12-wearing body for a few months since I dropped 50 lbs. pre-pregnancy!! I'm working at it and I will say Weight Watchers works wonders for me. I know it's not the case for everyone, though.
But my post is not to recruit you to yet another weight loss fad, but to introduce you to my size-18 long selling BFF. Blair? Meet New York and Company!
Do you have them where you live? I figure they're pretty much everywhere. At any rate, they carry size 18 long and they often have buy one get one half off (or even free if you catch them on a good day) for their pants. I too am a hippy chick (pre and of course post preg). The pants are good quality and they have tons of varieties for the professional world! Good luck and don't totally give up on your cuppy cakes! What life is worth living without them??
I tried their size 18's & they didn't fit! Totally weird…they were HUGE in the butt & thighs & I couldn't button the belly. I used to have these NY&Co pants that I ADORED in college, so this is sad to me.
Harrumph is all I have to say for you. Have you tried Macy's Style & Co.? They were another go-to for me. I will stop throwing suggestions at you now that may or may not make you feel worse!
I will give them a try!! I'm going out with The Momma later this week, so I will be sure to check out Macy's.
SOOOO glad to hear someone else voice my discontent with the waist size of NY&Co denim. It's a major ego deflate when I have to up my jean size three sizes just to get them zipped! I suggest VGS Denim at JCPenney, although I'm not sure if they are available in Tall. I've recently found them, and well… they rank right up there with Spanx in my book, though they're a helluva lot more comfortable. Good luck!
"It’s funny, ever since having a baby, I can totally look at someone & know they have birthed a child. It’s something in the spread of the hips."
^ I can do the same but with boobs. Then again I always was more of a 'boob' gal. SIGH.
PP bodies suck.
But, I like where your heads at. BRING ON THE TANKINIS and BEERS at the beach!
The Devil Wears Prada! LOVE that movie.
(oops, guess someone already got it 
Anyway, just know that you are in good company on this "plight" of yours…..a lot of us are in the same boat together I think. And GL going back to work…..it is hard but again, you've got some company there too!!!
Blair I always appreciate your honesty. I am still a few years from babymaking, but it is nice to know what I can truly expect.
I think you are not giving yourself enough credit though. You have been very upfront with the fact that Harrison is a crier and that you are trying to get his reflux under control. I cannot even imagine how you find the energy to work out after taking care of Harrison all day and spending time with your H.
For what it's worth, I think you look fantastic and Harrison is a lucky guy!
Internal 'roids caught my attention….ProctoFoam. Best. Shit. Ever. I'd be bedridden without it thanks to the lovely 'roids my kids delivered to me. I suffered for a few months and then finally said, hello, my vag feels fine, but my ass….not so much. I got some ProctoFoam and – magic!
No, it won't help you feel better about your post-baby bod, but life is always better when your ass doesn't feel like you've sat on a place setting, complete with shrimp forks and knives.
You took the thoughts and feelings right out of my mind. My son is 4.5 months old and I still feel this way. When I went back to work 13 weeks pp I sadly accepted my fate and bought new pants.
I only have those nagging 10lbs to lose, and the rational person in me knows I look fine…but the irrational post-pardum side dreads pictures (when I used to be the first to smile for them), and sadly feels like people are silently judging me because "it's been almost 5 months since she had that baby."
I think part of it stems from the fact I am (was?) a ballet dancer, so every time I step in the studio it is an alternative universe and comes with it's own brand of body issues.
It's hard, and we all know what effort it will take to get to that 'comfortable' place again – it just may take longer than it did before we had infants to care for…
I guess we can just take heart that we are in a new league of women now – and have beautiful, healthy babies to show for it.
I am almost 4 months post-partum with my first. My body is so different than before. I find it easier to accept knowing that I'm not alone so thank you for posting. Have you heard of the site, Shape of a Mother? http://theshapeofamother.com/
I'm so glad that I found your blog Blair. I just gave birth to my first son almost 6 weeks ago, and everything you write could have been written by me, only not as well. I look forward to reading your blog daily, and dread you going back to work for fear that you won't blog as often. Tell your husband you need to stay home from work, your public needs you!
I agree totally and was thinking the same thing Karla! Blair–can't you make blogging and being a mom your FT job?
I have a 4 week old baby and am in love with your blog. Thanks so much for your posting and please don't stop when you go back to work!
Blair, you are my interweb hero for being so honest. Im new to the blogging universe but have been following you for awhile and one day I hope to be as good as a blogger as you!
I can sympathize with the whole I hate my postpartum body. I have 2 babies. 18 months and 4 months old. I thought I was going to die when I stepped on the scale 4 months pregnant with number 2 to realise I weighed the same as I did 9 months pregnant with number one. So needless to say, my husband hasnt been aloud near me due to fear we will have birthcontrol failure number 3 (Yes both babes unplanned, but wouldnt change a thing!) and he will have to buy a crane to take my fat ass to town.
you should of breastfed. You lose the weight super fast.
tell that to the 40 lbs of baby weight on my ass.
Can I like Jenni's comment.. hahahaha
wordpress needs a "like" button a la Facebook.
Breastfeeding helped me lose….umm, nothing. And my kid's a house.
She couldn't
wrong- I've EBF my son for almost 4.5 months and i still have 35 lbs to lose! Blair- keep doing what you are doing- it'll come off! Kudos to you for finding time to work out!
I breastfed for 7.5 months, lost all the baby weight + 5 pounds and still had to buy a new wardrobe because NOTHING FIT. Shove it, Judgy.
Ugh, i am 6w PP today (yay!) and i still have 50lbs to lose. EFF. And despite all that all i can think of is how lucky you are. HEMMROIDS SHOULD NEVER BE DESCRIBED BY YOUR MIDWIFE AS "PLUM SIZE" ugghh. I never want a section, but i'm considering trying to barf the next baby out.. Especially if i don't lose this baby weight, my neck is plenty thick enough! :p
Starting on the first i' doing the Body After Baby challenge over at MamaNotes.com & we got a wii fit for christmas.. so oh dear lord let me get rid of this fat. D;
I went back to work after my second, and a co-worker asked me when I was due. Way to make me feel like a whale ya douche.
I hate my body PP and its been almost 3 years!
OMG did you tap into my mind or something?!?! I totally feel the same way well except my hubbys name is David, haha.
I am constantly saying how much I hate my body and my hubby is always, trying to get into my pants when I feel at my worst!
I am on my 5th pregnancy and I swear this is my last one (yeah thats what I said with my last one who is 13 months old) I was so looking forward to joining you in McFatty Mondays but now that I am 6 weeks I don't think I can.
Good Luck you all I will be here with you in spirit lol.
I am laughing at the facebook comments. I've made it so no one can see photos of me tagged. Ahhh yes.
My SIL would ALWAYS post pictures of me looking like complete ass. Beeeyotch.
I am 6 months pp and I am sooooo feeling your pain. I work with a marathoner who had a baby 2 months before I did and she was back to her ridiculous size 2 teeny-tinyness by the time her maternity leave was over. I try not to be hateful and compare but for f's sake.
I still feel like a blimp, and I'm bf'ing so pp Sara can suck it. I didn't even gain that much during pregnancy, it's just that my body has changed so much and I don't know how to shop for or dress this new person. The flabby tire around my mid section seems to show through every shirt and sweater I try on. All my shirts are too short and all my pants fit horribly. I am also tall, so finding pants that fit both my pp girth and my inseam? Yeah. Right.
Confession: at 6 months pp I still wear maternity pants. What can I do? If I find pants that fit me in the waist they are HUGE on my thighs and butt. My goal is to be weaned off mat pants by baby's one year birthday. We can all dream, right?
For jeans I've had some luck at Nordstrom's with Not Your Daughters Jeans and Calvin Klein in the plus-section. Not cheap, obviously, but I feel pretty good in them.
Good luck going back to work, dear. The transition from mat leave to work really increased my body anxiety. I just try to be gentle with myself and remember that I'm basically starting over in the wardrobe department. So I won't win any fashion awards this year. Oh well. I have a beautiful baby instead!
I breastfed. I did the 30 day shred. I "watched what I ate". (And no, not simply watched it go from the table to my mouth) I still have a belly that looks like a bear went to town on a deflated balloon. I grunt every day when I tuck my extra 15lbs of skin into my pants. & Then I eat a brownie to block the tears. It's a vicious cycle.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE, Blair. Thank you for writing this. You are amazing & such an inspiration.
Add me to the chorus of "me too!'s". 4 months post partum and while I technically have lost all the baby "weight", no one said anything about all this extra–skin?fat?blubber? Nothin's back where it's supposed to be. I now know what santa's "bowl full of jelly" belly feels like, and it isn't pretty. I gave up the ghost in two ways–I bought new clothes, and I got them tailored. I tried and tried to find stuff that fit me, but this body just isn't made for the fashions of the day, and it was cheaper to tailor pants than to pay for my therapy on body image issues(or keep having breakdowns in the dressing rooms).
Thank you for writing a post that speaks to (obviously) so many of us!
I have had luck with Merona pants from Target. They have a strechy line that I wear in a size smaller than the other sizes that I currently fit in. I heart vanity sizing. And people who act like BFing is a weight loss plan should shove it. I am EBFing twins and do you want to know how much weight I lost after losing the birth weight and water weight? ZERO None Nada Thanks for writing this.
I don't have any great answers, just a huge "I hear you." I too keep promising myself that I am going to get off the "hey body, I hate you" bandwagon, but don't seem to have made it happen yet. I suppose a trip to swimming suit land in March hanging overhead isn't helping.
Blair –
I recently fell in love with your blog after being introduced to you from your guest blog on "Maybe if you just relax" – you're so entertaining!
I struggle/d with my post-baby body too – ESPECIALLY at only 3 or so months out….my goodness, cut yourself a break – it took you 9 months to get this way, give yourself some time to shrink back.
And let me tell you another thing while I am up here on my soapbox….you know when I really started to shed some serious pounds? When my daughter consistently started sleeping though the night. Yup. Sleep is miraculous. I still have a few pounds to go – but the sleep has been KEY.
Good luck and cut yourself some slack. You'll get there.
Yes! I agree with Susan. Give yourself some time. I remember feeling very hopeless about my body situation right around 12 weeks when I had to go back to work. Things did improve a lot for me within another month or two. I'm not sayin' you'll look like you did pre-baby in another month or two, but I am sure you will look different and better than you do now. The skin and flab situation does improve over time. Like Susan said, it took 9 months to get this way, so it'll take time for things to shrink and shift back (most of the way). Have a little hope! And give yourself a little break!
Oh, and I totally agree with Susan's comment about sleep too. I think that was probably a factor for me, as well. I think I read somewhere that post-partum women who get 8 hours of sleep per night (ha) lose more weight faster.
Just wanted to agree with Susan and Heather that 3 months pp is way too early to even be worried about your body not being the same (not that I didn't do the same thing though).
I went back to work at 12 weeks pp and had a lot of the same feelings you shared. I went back in maternity pants and regular pants with the bella band. Now at 6 months pp I can fit into all of my old work pants and I've lost all of the weight (I gained 38 lbs during pregnancy). I'm still not happy with the way my midsection looks, but I think I will be in time.
Just give yourself some time.
Long-time reader but first-time commenter here… I'm 4 months pregnant with my first and I have to say, these posts make me a little bit anxious about the PP days that lay ahead.
But I think you're hilarious and blessedly honest and obviously a wonderful mother, and just wanted to say hang in there… weight loss is NEVER easy and I imagine this to be a million times even more true when you're also juggling new motherhood and going back to work and managing a household and trying to find time for your husband, etc. etc. etc. Keep up the good work! We're all rooting for you.
I'm frightened. (I'm 36 weeks along.) Hold me.
I feel so special being quoted!
Equally, I feel not so special since that indeed is what my poor stomach looks like. ::le sigh::
Hang in there friend. If I win the lottery I'll pay for plastic surgery for both of us to get rid of the mauled balloon.
Give yourself a break! It's only been 2 months! At that point I still had 15 lbs to lose, and now at 6 months pp it's all gone, although hip spreading be damned . . .
Ah, honey, hang in there. While I am a SAHM, I remember thinking at 2 months postpartum that going back to work would have been hellacious because nothing fit.
For me, the weight started really dropping off after that point (of course, I put on 53 lbs while PG, so there's that). Anyway, why not use the mantra "9 months up, 9 months down", even if it doesn't take that long to feel normal-ish again. You got a diet & exercise plan; it will all be OK.
Also – totally with you & your friend on the bear clawing a deflated balloon analogy!
Laura
I know many people don't like the idea of moving to a store that is set up for larger women…but Lane Bryant has a line of pants (jean and dressed) that are meant for certain cuts (yellow for no hips, blue for hips, red for waist….something like that) they are the only place that I can find pants that fit me and they are even sized differently…I typically wear a 18 or 20 and in these pants I wear a 4….ego booster!!!!! They have very trendy styles and always sales going on….it may be worth a shot but see if you cant find a printable coupon online before you go….it will save big time bucks.
Wow, you get some rude comments! Honestly!
Aaaanyway, I just wanted to say that I haven't given birth yet (umm.. that's about 6 months away, haha), I do know quite a bit about the weight loss/healthy eating etc thing. I think it's important to remember that old saying (maybe it's just a Dutch one): 9 months being pregnant, 9 months de-pregging. Or something like that. If you imagine what pre-period hormones do to your body, you can understand why weight loss at this point can be much harder than it would be if your hormones were all "normal". Secondly, stress & sleep deprivation cause hormone imbalances too, which specifically make you hold on to fat around your belly. Plus, it also makes you more hungry, especially for carbs.
I'm not saying these things to discourage, I'm saying them to help you realize you're up to a mammoth challenge at the moment. However, if you do keep up the effort (the running, the shredding – weights are especially good! I always find it motivating to know that a half hour/hour of weight lifting can't be undone with one slice of cake, unlike a half hour of elliptical :-S), there will be a certain point when you'll see changes. They may even be sudden, as your body settles and you get a little more sleep. Maybe gradual. But they will happen.
I think it is rare for a body to bounce back completely: hips usually do stay wider after giving birth (maybe they shrink back very slowlyyy) and excess skin takes about 7 years to return to it's normal size (on average).
Sorry for the long comment – good luck!
You are gorgeous- at any size. Never, ever forget that! Size doesn't determine happiness. You have a beautiful baby and a supportive husband… something many skinny bitches can only dream of.
I had a baby 11 months ago – you can get back to your old size. Don't "give in" and accept – unless you are truly happy with your PP body – and it doesn't sound like you are. I am pretty sure our bodies will never be the same – but I do know you CAN LOSE the weight and wear your pre-preggo clothes again! Keep doing what you're doing – but I would add one thing – pray! I prayed – ask God to help you stay motivated, to take that desire for all those bad foods away – and to just give your metabolism a kick in the ass! God answers all prayers – it will work – just be persistent! I remember feeling EXACTLY the way you do right now – pray, Blair – pray and exercise…. it will happen!
There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said (but watch me try!)
A is 11 months old and I hate my body. The pancake boobs and the stomach flab that's sliding down into my pants insure that I will ever be faithful to my husband, because no one needs to see this.
Sub in "J is 9 months old" and Aggie said everything I would've. *I* don't even want to see me naked.
More power to you for the desire not to become a frump. Because after quitting my job on a whim and becoming a SAHM and then about 2 days later getting a surprise BFP, yeah, I'm there. In my defense, I've got nowhere to go and it just keeps snowing every day. Moo bars are delicious and my first son happens to like them too. Is it my fault that I keep taking bites when I get an ice cream treat out for him?
I am sincerely scared of who I am becoming. It doesn't feel like me. And although I did end up losing all my baby weight and then some I still felt like a frumpy mom. I just don't take care of myself like I should especially since I'm pregnant again!
So go ahead and try to lose weight but puhleeze don't expect a miracle because you'll hate yourself. Your body will never be the same shape again even if you lose all the weight. And that's okay, Blair. Just keep looking at your beautiful son and telling yourself that you're a great new mom who WILL NOT become a frump like me.
Hi Blair! I am a long time stalker (found you around 8 mo. pregnant) and just wanted to say thanks for writing. I had a baby boy Sept 30 so I love checking in on you. We are going through a lot of the same things at the same times. I don't have any great advice about the postpartum bod but just wanted to say keep writing. You rock.
LOL about the "tagged" Facebook photos. I literally cried my eyes out after my cousin tagged me in some terrible fat photos. It was one of the rare occassions that I got dressed up (for my brothers wedding) & I thought I was looking good until the photos surfaced for the world to see…I gained 53 lbs with my daughter who is now almost 8 months old. I still have 27lbs to go & my rings still don't fit. I have been really down about the weight thing…but I know that I have to start a diet/exercise program. It's just so hard to find the time! My sis-in-law cooks gourmet meals, reads a book a week & has 2 under 2! WTF!? Sometimes, I feel like a failure!
I.know.how.you.feel! My weight has come off (thank the high heavens) BUT my body is disgustingly different. I used to fit into an 8…now a 12. WTF?! I weigh my pp weight, so you would think I could wear my old clothes. Nope. So, yes, I feel your pain. Oh…and I am totally nominating myself for What Not to Wear because I, too, have no sense of style. I would also love to be that stylish mom whose boobs don't hang to the floor, but that's not happening anytime soon.