My day sucked. But you know what sucks more? A Dyson.
Reasons My Day Sucked, by Blair. As an alternative to a written composition by Ralphie Parker.
1. At 7:15am, Harrison threw up all over me mid-bottle. I’m talking vomit over his head, onto my arm, down my leg, onto the couch. & then he started crying.
2. He screamed the entire morning. Regardless of full belly, dry diaper, & jiggling Momma.
3. After six years, my iPod stuttered it’s final breath. RIP, original pink iPod mini. ::plays taps::
4. Dr. Hottie thinks that Harrison’s reflux is more intense than we originally thought. So Harrison is now on Prilosec, a stronger drug. With potentially a switch to soy formula next week.
5. Did I mention that insurance does not cover Prilosec?
6. Harrison got three vaccines. THEY STUCK NEEDLES INTO MY BABY TODAY. He was fine after a quick sob into my shoulder & a shot of Tylenol at 4pm. Momma, on the other hand, is still reeling from her stream of tears at seeing the dried blood on his band-aid this morning.
7. I got called into work. Yeah.
8. Where passive-aggressive behavior ruled on post-it notes.
9. We have a forecast for potential winter weather. Which meant Super Target was an EFFING MADHOUSE for milk & bread. (don’t ask, it’s a Southern thing) & all I needed was some coffee for tomorrow morning. Needless to say, we had frozen pizza for dinner. & I had a rather large shot of lemon vodka in cranberry juice. But a segway smooth like a punch to the stomach, we shall discuss something that sucks more. In a good way.
No, not that. You dirty, dirty people! Get your minds from the gutters! Perverts!!
The kind of glorious, amazing suck that only comes from a Dyson vacuum. I know first-hand the awesome that is Dyson. My mother has one, & sometimes when I’m at The Momma’s house, I volunteer to vacuum. Yes, I do have OCD tendencies that may require my children to need therapy in the future, but it’s more than being a neat-freak. THESE VACUUMS ARE INCREDIBLE. Sweet, sweet hum while they work, sucking up every little speck of dust & dead carpet-choking dog hair. Alas, I am stuck with this ol’ clunker:
Listen, Hoover. We had a good run, including several laps over your cord, which led to Nate doing quick emergency surgery with electric tape to prevent me blowing our casa into the sky. Or burning it down to the ground. Needless to say, Hoover is on life support but with that little blonde kid in the next room, affording a Dyson is laughable for the next…I dunno, 10 years. Enter in my creepy internet friend buddy Jill from BabyRabies.com. & her amazing give-away where there is potential for a Dyson to be underneath my tree in a week. PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE, GOD. PLEASE LET ME WIN.
I promise if I win, I won’t do this to the Dyson:
Because their level of suckage deserves more respect.
Filed under: Dr. Hottie, Ralph isn't just a name, Reflux
Blair, fight the insurance not covering the Prilosec.
He tried the Zantac, which is the usual 1st step to getting another medication approved. 2nd step is to find out what the covered alternatives are. I don’t know about Prilosec, but my DDs were on Pepcid and it wasn’t covered. The covered alternatives were all tablets. After speaking with 3 people who had to be told “MY KID IS 7 MONTHS OLD AND SHE’S NOT GOING TO SWALLOW AN F’ING TABLET”, it was approved.
If none of the covered alternatives are acceptable (usually because they can’t be made into something suitable for babies), the medication is covered.
Did you get the tablets you dissolve? That’s what my DD was on and it was covered. It was the Pepcid we had issues with. But, ask what your options are and then tell them he’s a BABY and he’s not going to just swallow a pill. It usually works.
Good luck! Once you get it covered, you can submit the receipts for what you paid and get reimbursed less the co-payment.
*daisyadair from The Bump and the sixemptychairs blog*
LOL, LOL, and LOL some more
GL! Oh, and the new site is looking pretty nice.
first of all, hugs. shot-day is the worst. thee worst.
second? if you win that means i lose, which is not cool. ugh, i am already jealous of whoever wins this beast.
Ok, you win and deserve it. Oh, on another note my baby had reflux too and as he got older a rash developed. Wheat and Dairy were to blame. Just an fyi in case you notice food intolerances/allergies.
Oh Gawd, now I just realize what an insensitive wench I sound like all LOL at your post. I, for the record, was just LOL at the humping the vacuum pictures. The rest of the post sounds dreadful. I’m sorry for you poopy day. They thought K had pretty bad reflux in the beginning. I’m not sure if it was that or just really shitty colic. It sucked. Sorry, hon. Hang in there.
I knew it was the vac-hump that got you rolling
The only reason I have a Dyson is ’cause I got it on woot.com for $120 + $5 shipping. Every time I vacuum I thank the Woot gods for their awesomeness. I hope you win!!!
Oh, and if you ever feel like you need an hour or two away, just give me a call. I only work 4 nights a week, so I’m free ALL the damn time during the week and during the day. I’d be happy to come by for a couple hours & let you take a breather. I mean that, for realsies.
*MWAH*
Love the cowgirl style Hoover hump. You are too funny!
Hang in there with H. You’ve got lots of internet stalkers rooting for you.
If you play the Kohls game right you can get a Dyson for about 200 bucks. It requires Kohls cash….and a Kohls charge account….with those like 30% coupon things that they do for those with charge accounts. I personally have never been lucky enough for the pieces to fall perfectly together, but my Mom just replaced her elderly Dyson with a new one with this method. So I know it can be done!
I got my Dyson for Christmas four years ago….yes…seriously – my husband (than just a boyfriend) bought me the Dyson because he knew I wanted one. His friends & family called him crazy – he even bought diamond earrings just in case I flipped out. When I unwrapped the gift with tears in my eyes I saw his hand inching out to grabbed the next gift – instead I hugged him and said “You get me”.
I hope you get your Dyson!
In case you don’t win that Dyson (and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that you do!) and the idea of spending that much money on a vacuum makes you heave, I’m going to make an alternative suggestion: I have the Kenmore Progressive Bagless Upright with Inteli-Clean and it is awesome. http://tinyurl.com/yf95abv
Consumer reports ranks it #2, behind it’s sibling, the version that uses vacuum bags. It has this great light that changes from red (dirty) to yellow (kinda dirty) to green (clean!) while you are vacuuming so you can see that your carpets actually are clean. I love it!
Oh dear Lord, I want a Dyson. Like, so bad. But I can’t justify spending so much money on a vacuum. But I want one. Bad.
I’m sorry your day sucked! But hooray for awesome vacuums!
Lemong vodka + cranberry juice, you say? Well Merry F’ing Christmas to ME! That sounds simply delightful.
Sorry about the shots…I agree that it’s the shittiest thing. Try giving H a shot of Tylenol about 30 minutes before his appointment – it will kick in just about the time the shots are a’comin. Keep on it every 4-6 hours for the first day and he’ll bounce back faster.
I have that vaccum it does suck and not in a good way. Three dogs and a toddler have it on its last leg.
You can indeed get a mean deal on a Dyson via Kohl’s – a pal of mine just got the “absolute animal” (effing awesome name no?) for around $270 ish… I spent 300 bucks on my Animal model @ Bed Bath Beyond (BBB) where they retail for close to $600 – I called up my credit card companies and cashed in rewards points for gift certificates to BBB and then used one of the zillion 20% off coupons that they love to cram in my mailbox. That covered half of it and I paid $300 out of pocket for the remainder so not too bad. Dyson kicks a$$$$$!!!!
Living in TN, I understand the craziness that happens at the grocery store when just one inch of snow is predicted. And then the next morning you wake up to a small dusting of snow sticking only to grass but everyone drives like we had a blizzard.
Also, save for that Dyson! We got ours on Amazon and it was the best purchase ever. It is a must in our house with a dog that sheds as much as ours does.
Dude. Sorry about the work thing. I promise we DID NOT want to see you here until January.
I am still baffled as to why a post it note would be put in the box of someone out on maternity leave.
I have a Dyson and I am so in love with it =) It makes cleaning fun!!!
I have a DC-17 and omgz! I love that thing! Prior to the Dyson I had a Kirby, which was suppose to be THE vacuum. Ha! After 12 yrs. it bites the dust and luck for me it was Xmas time and the hub got a nice, nice bonus. I got a Dyson. Brought that baby home and commenced to vacuuming. I was APPALLED! Totally. You would not believe the crud that came out of my carpet. I had to dump the container THREE times just vacuuming my living room! I am astonished. I mean I’d had a Kirby for cripes sake! Brand new carpet and then 6 yrs of the Kirby and I had that kind of nastiness in my carpet. Skived me out! Now it’s been 3 yrs. and the Dyson still manages to amaze me. I can’t imagine how filthy my carpet would’ve been had we not gotten this miracle.
I’m sorry…I’ll just stfu, but I tend to go on and on and on when I hear the word Dyson.
Good luck, hope you win this miracle!
Blair, I have a dyson. you’re right, it’s AMAZING!
I hope you get it!
the milk & bread frenzy? I thought for years it was just a PA Dutch thing. Not so much, I see. I myself will be going out to get emergency rations of wine and cheese.
I so hope you fight authority for the prilosec! poor Harrison!
Just so you know, Overstock often has refurbished dysons which look and work like brand new ones. I bought one for $250 about 3 months ago and I’m in love. Plus, they shipped me the vacuum without the filter so they gave me an additional $50 off. So I guess order one and hope they screw it up?
I hate to say this and cause unnecessary worry, but you may want to ask your pedi about pyloric stenosis, with the severe reflux and vomiting…
I have a refurb. dyson at home and work and love them!
Also, I would try the soy. My daughter was BF and when we tried to intro cow’s milk, she had issues. Pedi thought it was teething/flu/cold/whatever and told us to wait a few weeks and try again. So I continued to BF. Again tried and had issues. Pedi again thought it may be coincidental to teething, wait a couple of weeks and try milk again, in the meantime continue with BF. I wanted to tell him to grow tits and feed her! I mentally checked out of BF at 12 months and it was now 13 months, 2 weeks and a few day (but who’s counting). Sure enough, we try milk a few weeks later and projectile vomitting, diarrhea, random skin rashed with occasional hives. Saw allergist……epi-pen worthy dairy allergy and a wheat allergy. Fun. I would try switching to the soy formula and see how he does.
Ben and I bought the Dyson Ball (all floors) last year. Although it was $400, it was worth every penny! I love to vacuum.
My son moved from Zantac to Prilosec as well, but that wasn’t his last stop. My husband is a pharmacist and he felt that Prevacid would work best, but many pedis won’t use that until all other options have been exhausted because it’s a new and less-studied drug. After Prilosec didn’t work, our son was put on Prevacid which is a MIRACLE drug! It seriously helps him sooooooo much… it was like we had a new child. Reading your posts brings back some tough memories… people don’t understand that when you say “Harrison cried all morning” that he ACTUALLY cried for hour upon hour upon hour. It sucks more than a Dyson and I hope you find Harrison’s miracle drug soon!
I have a baby girl that is two days older than your son (we have a 4 year old son too though). She is on Prevacid now and insurance denied the coverage because it is now available over the counter. However, I called them and told them that the solutab, which I’m assuming your son is on, is not OTC and obviously she can’t swallow a pill. I was given another number for our pharmacist to call so that it would be covered. You need to fight them, I bet your insurance is pulling the same card! Good luck!
Please air-hump vaccuums more often. So hilarious.