and even when I’m holding Harrison, I still ache for the baby I will never know. I am so thankful for Harrison. So proud of him, so thankful for his health, so in love with his blonde hair that some days, I think I will explode.

But even a year later with a healthy baby, it doesn’t make the miscarriage okay. It doesn’t make me not miss Harpie. It doesn’t take away the sting or how losing a baby changed me as a woman & a person forever. Maybe that makes me a little crazy. A little emo. Or maybe it makes me completely normal & the most sane, to love any life that much.