So today, I ran into an acquaintance from high school.
You can’t really call him a “friend” considering we had no classes together, never sat at the same lunch table, & never snuggled under a blanket at the Varsity football game. But I knew he existed.
& he says, “Oh, you’re pregnant!” No kidding, Sherlock.
He stares down at my left hand. “But you’re not married!” he accuses.
“Really?” I reply. “That news would be a shock to my husband OF OVER THREE YEARS.”
To which he inquires about my lack of wedding ring. Listen, jerk. YOU try being 8 1/2 months pregnant in the South during the hottest months that only Satan enjoys, with ankles that rival an elephant & carpal tunnel that disallows you to even hold a ballpoint pen…and THEN we’ll talk squeezing a size-7 diamond band on my finger that is probably bigger than your penis.
