2009 April | Heir to Blair

Spotted:

24 Apr posted by heirtoblair

Pregnant woman in far-too-large maternity clothing, clicking desperately & screaming profanity regarding broken locks at large red Envoy in Brueggar’s Bagels parking lot, only to slap herself on the forehead & perform a walk of shame to her much smaller, less red convertible.

True story.

and while I was screaming, “YOU DIRTY DONKEY-EFFING CAR” while simultaneously stuffing a bagel into my cheeks, I didn’t realize that I was at the wrong car. At a car that looks nothing like my car. With language that could flay the hide off a rabid warthog.

::shakes head sadly::

oh, and Angelie Jolie, if you’re reading this — my maternity shirts are big enough that I could smuggle a child or two out of a 3rd world country for you, free of adoption fees.

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Filed Under: BA is effing crazy

Let’s talk about sex, baby…

23 Apr posted by heirtoblair

But not that kind of sex. Actually, that title makes me feel a little dirty considering that I’m discussing my child, but it’s the first thing that popped into my head so I refuse to remove it. Listen, folks…13 days until the BIG DAY, so start casting your votes! I played with a few online quizzes, broke down some of the old wives tales, & even gave you a glimpse of my sex life so you may make your own Shettles decision.

Labor of Love: Girl

Just Mommies: Girl

Bump.com: Girl

B abyman: Boy

Sexr atio.com: Boy

T voy Baby: Girl

Shettles: Boy

Hearbeat: Has never dipped below 157 bpm (old wives tales say girl)

Ring Test: moves back & forth over belly, but in circles over palm

Momma’s Intuition: If you put a gun to my head, I think I’d say boy now. Maybe. I don’t know. ::sigh:: I really have no guess. Does that make me a terrible mother already?

Friends & Family: Majority say girl, but I think that’s strictly wishful thinking.

Girl Old Wives Tales:
-had morning sickness
-carrying weight in hips & butt
-leg hair is growing the same
-Nate isn’t gaining weight
-craving sweets & fruits, especially orange juice
-HJ’s heartbeat
-acne

Boy Old Wives Tales:
-carrying rather low (although hard to tell at this point, but you make your own guess at the belly pictures)
-boobs aren’t growing fast
-craving lemon (sour)
-my head hurts like beast several times per week
-no real mood swings, just regular Blair freak-outs
-my hair is amazing

I’ve always found orange juice to be very sour, so I think it’s funny they lump it into “sweets” with a girl.

As for what we’re hoping for…honestly, we’d prefer a girl. BUT we love our nephew & know that a boy would be an absolute blast — boys are such sweet things with their mommas, plus it would give Nate a new golf project once he could swing a club. But a girl? Oh, the hair bows & dresses!! & honestly, don’t tell Nate, but I love our girl name while I sneer at every boy name he comes up with. On a less petty note, my mother & I have always had an incredible relationship & I dream of having that with my own daughter one day. Plus, Nate & I are solely responsible for any remaining reproducing in our family & we already have a nephew — so a little girl would be something fun & different for all of us! Nate & his family would love a girl because out of 2 generations in his family, there is only 1 girl out of 9 boys.

But have no fear…I won’t need ingender.com should HJ have a penis. We’ll be over-the-moon, just fighting about names for the next 5 months ::rolls eyes::

So…what do you think?

16 Week Belly Picture

19 Apr posted by heirtoblair

16weekbellypicture 682x1024 16 Week Belly Picture Spring has sprung!

How far along? 16 weeks!

Total weight gain/loss: Up 2 lbs. according to my parent’s scale…we’ve been house-sitting for them.
Maternity clothes? pants & some shirts. But I have officially switched out my closet to my wardrobe for the next 5 months.
Stretch marks? No
Sleep: meh. Not so fab. I’m getting a whopping dose of insomnia from 5am-6am every single morning.

Best moment this week: Hearing HJ’s heartbeat again.
Movement: Still can’t feel it.
Food cravings: salad & lemon. smoothies.
Gender: I guess girl…maybe. Sometimes.
Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: Having energy…if my energy is supposed to boost back up in 2nd tri, why is my house a wreck because I have no energy or motivation?

What I am looking forward to: Big ultrasound in 2 1/2 weeks! Let the countdown begin!
Weekly Wisdom: Start working on meal-planning & cooking/freezing during the weekends so it’s a routine by the time baby arrives. It’s my only hope for not feeding my family frozen meals for the next 3 years.

Milestones: HJ can hear me this week!

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Filed Under: Belly Pictures, Pregnancy Quiz

16 Week Letter…a wee bit early.

18 Apr posted by heirtoblair

Dear Harpie Jr,

I know. ::sigh:: The letters have become few & far between, but it’s not that Momma does not care — it’s that she is so forgetful. In fact, my little avocado, you will be able to hear Momma’s stuttering attempts to recall vitally important details this week since your little ears are in working order!

It is so incredible to me that you will hear me talk & sing for the next 24 weeks of this pregnancy. That when I belt out Britney Spears at the top of my lungs, you will be covering your wee ears in utero & thinking, “Thank God Momma has a day job!” How quickly will you recognize my voice? Will you know it immediately out of the womb? Will you know my smell, or my touch? I think about how I can pick your Gram out from a crowd of 1000 — how she smells of powdered make-up, faint traces Elizabeth Taylor’s Passion perfume, & laundry detergent — & I wonder what I will smell like to you. Apples, soap, & dusting polish, perhaps? I think of how my mother can shake her keys in a busy store, & I can still pick them out above the din. Maybe you will know my footsteps, my laugh, or the pop of my knuckles. & I think of how at 25 years old, nothing brings more comfort than my mother pulling me into her arms & holding me tight, rocking me back & forth. Will we be the same, 25 years from now? Will you melt into me, smelling the apples & dusting polish, knowing that you are home in my arms, no matter what?

HJ, sometimes it feels that our journey is truly just beginning as I wait to feel you kick for the first time. I wait for you to hear me, & me to feel you, & know that for the rest of our lives, we’ll be a part of each other.

I love you.

Love,

Momma

p.s. speaking of placenta head, Momma completely flaked on posting your 15-week-letter, which is finally published below. oops.

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Filed Under: Letters to Harpie