(my shirt, that is)

So, do I turn it around or do I leave it the way it is? Half of the office has already seen me today. So it’s going to be obvious if I turn it around. On the other hand, I’M WEARING MY CLOTHES BACKWARDS. This is UNACCEPTABLE in regular social circles.

& until I figure it out, I can’t bring myself to leave my office lest people point fingers. But considering there will be cake sliced in 1 hour for an office birthday party, I need to figure this shit out. STAT. Because by God, no stretch of fabric stitched in Hong Kong will keep me from shoving sugar icing down my throat at record speed.

’tis a tricky little blouse, but I lack a brain these days, which doesn’t help.

I wish I had a camera so y’all could help me figure it out. I mean, it looked like I put it on right, until I caught a glance in the hall mirror as I flounced into work. Then I realized that the back is longer than the front, which makes no sense for a maternity top. & the part I’m wearing in front is a “cowl-neck” type thing….except it dips WAY low with no structure, so I have a tank under it. & looking at it, I keep thinking, “Nobody would make a shirt with no structure in the front.” Seriously, my boobs would be on my desk without this tank top underneath, & it’s not like I purchased the top at Priscilla’s, “where fun & fantasy meet.” But the part I’m wearing in the back has two strings that tie to form a bow, which would hit right at my jugular should I turn the shirt around, & I can’t imagine that Old Navy is marketing a line of choking gear.

I am confused.

HOLY SHIT, Old Navy. Don’t you realize that pregnant women have a hard enough time forming coherent sentences without the drama of wardrobe? Is it your goal to divert the world from pig flu by merchandising fashion who’s issues outshine the media’s tendency to blow the damn flu into world epidemic proportions?! CLOTHING IS NOT MEANT TO BE A MATTER OF PERSONAL OR NATIONAL CRISIS, people.