As we enter Week 8, Momma feels like her head is made of marshmellows.  I truly cannot focus on anything — past dreaming of seeing you, in all of your half-inch glory, wiggling on the ultrasound.  You are a little blueberry this week, and I have finished making your third set of kindeys while you succeed in causing me to put my pants on backwards.  Not exactly a fair trade, little one!

The greatest moment this week was finally seeing you & your little flickering heart — knowing that you are safe & thriving, snuggled down for the long ride.  It has been such a bittersweet week, while I celebrate you & realize I would have been 25 weeks with your big sibling.  It is such a hard battle to feel pulled strongly to two babes — loyalty to both, thrilled with you, and still aching for my first baby.  In so many ways, I hoped that you would heal that chasm completely, but now I realize that was an unfair expectation.  I hope to never put that kind of pressure on you again, whether it’s as petty as winning a soccer game or as vast as completing my life.

HJ, I want you & everyone to know that I LOVE YOU.  I am thrilled for you, but I think I would be less of a person if I hadn’t loved my first babe as much as I did.  Take my loyalty to Harpie as a promise to you that for the remainder of your life, I will be your #1 fan.  I will love you with every aspect of my being, no matter how long we have together or who you become.  That is my promise.

I love you, HJ.  You are the most important thing in my life.

Love,

Momma