CD 15 and no ovulation in sight. Zero fertile CM, no twinges or cramps, nada. I didn’t ovulate until CD 17 when I got pregnant with Harpie, so I feel ridiculous stressing over CD 15. That’s a cake-walk considering what most go through. But I cannot help my irrational fear of not ovulating — that somehow, the pregnancy and D&E altered my body. That I won’t ovulate, therefore robbing me of any chance of getting pregnant. Then my mind starts racing, fearing I won’t ovulate the next month…or the next…or maybe my LP will be too short now.
And my chart looks like a joke because I can’t seem to wake up at 6am (which also explains why I’ve been running 10 minutes late to the office for the past week).
I mean, seriously. Why am I bitching when it’s my failure that makes a chart look like this? Only 9 temps out of 15, and 2 are discarded? Laughable.
Oh, & people are still saying incredibly awesome things to me. For example, this genius conversation between myself & Nate’s coworker’s 20-year-old baby mama (follow?):
Baby Mama: “Have you ever thought about getting pregnant?”
Blair: “Actually, I was. We lost the baby right before the 2nd trimester, the weekend before Thanksgiving.”
Baby Mama: “I am so sorry.” ::sincerely sympathetic::
Blair: “Thank you.”
Baby Mama: “You know, I miscarried.”
Blair: ::interest perked:: “Oh, yeah?”
Baby Mama: “Yes. And it was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Blair: ::blank, incredulous stare::
Baby Mama: “I had just broken up with it’s father, moved out, & found out I was pregnant 3 years ago. Thankfully, I lost the baby.”
Blair: ::blank, horrified stare::
Baby Mama: “And you know, if I hadn’t lost it, I wouldn’t have had my son. Or my daughter. So it’s all God’s plan. Maybe you just weren’t ready for a baby. Like, you weren’t mature enough, but next time, you’ll be ready.”
Blair: ::finding a voice:: “Errrmmmm….no, we were ready.”
Baby Mama: “At least you don’t get attached to a baby until you show. I mean, it’s not like you really even know you’re pregnant until you have a bump.”
Blair: ::slowly turning & walking away::
Honestly? I see where she is coming from, from her point of view & life experiences. When I recounted the conversation to Nate, we both laughed until we almost cried — nervous laughter, sure, but we understood. Sometimes even members of the “sisterhood” suck ass.
