Something tells me Nate is going to laugh in my face.
at Burger King. ::dies a little inside::
You know you eat too many kids meals & drink too many milkshakes when the chick at the drive-thru starts recognizing you, then hands you a “preferred customer card” so you can get 20% off you purchases.
It is NOT MY FAULT that BK is only 1 mile up the road & that Harpie hearts hamburgers on an unnatural level. STOP JUDGING ME, lady at the drive-thru. YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. ::sobs of rage::
I want it noted that I have only gained 2 lbs & I am 9 weeks pregnant. ONLY TWO. I vow to not go all Merm on you, but I feel like I should explain that Harpie NEEDS those cheeseburgers. Obviously, since they’re being burned off at record speed.
Harpie’s Gram bought him/her a little cow suit yesterday 
How sweet is this? It is the softest fleece & has little cow ears — I can’t wait for Harpie to rock it like a champ next winter! Babies drink milk, cows make milk, so it’s pretty fitting.
Another gift of note is from my AMAZING friend Emilee, who bestowed Harpie with the sweetest onesie & little bear hat (I’ll have to take a picture & post tonight), and a generous gift card to Baby Gap for a shopping spree after the “big u/s.” Em, you are simply the sweetest.
AND she won the vinyl birds in that Etsy drawing!!!! And is giving them to Harpie. I’m pretty much the luckiest chick ever to have such a good friend.
Here is the bloat that my clients think makes me look more pregnant than I really am. I’ll call what happened the other day Bloatgate, as it was a pretty traumatic event for me. As you can see, it is simply water retention & gas that my pathetic stomach muscles cannot hold in. I’m not sure where people get “baby” by looking at that, because all I see is one too many Burger King cheeseburgers (more on that later, but trust me that it’s a good story).
And here is me getting “thick” from the sides. I’m quickly losing my hourglass shape. According to my neighbor, old wives tale says growing sideways & thick means a girl. All these OWT’s that get thrown at me are hilarious — I should start documenting them as well.
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