Tip for those with evening morning sickness: Start drinking a full-calorie Coke around 4pm. Sip slowly & make it last about an hour & a half. I don’t know why it works, but it does — probably helps level blood sugar and the acid helps settle the stomach. But it works & for the first night in 2 weeks, I don’t feel like death.
Indeed, I got a spurt of energy and CLEANED MY HOUSE. For the first time in 3 weeks, I cleaned my house. This is monumental for many reasons:
- Non-pregnant Blair keeps a spotless house. I am notorious for my OCD behavior regarding wiping down baseboards, cleaning my microwave with vinegar, and spending 20 minutes vacuuming my 18 stairs.
- Pregnant Blair, on the other hand, can barely lift a hand from the couch to get her own damn ginger ale. Screw cleaning up dog hair, she’s simply trying not to add to the mess by vomiting.
- I’m an asthmatic, and this little bitch makes one hell of a fur coat. I should gather it all & sell it on ebay as a frock of some kind. Meet Tuck:
I now challenge you to find one red dog hair in my house. YOU WILL NOT. Because I vacuumed 2 canisters tonight (which begs me to grill Nate on what exactly he vacuumed last night while running the Hoover for 5 minutes, because I saw no progress). Best part? I cleaned is ass-booty shorts & a tank top that can’t stay over the Harpie bloat. My boobs were totally falling out of it, so I had to close the blinds. Hood rat, hood rat, hoochie momma!
The only thing I hate is that Nate is at a business dinner tonight & missing my excellence in domestic policy. Although, I am a little worried that he may see my work as viewing his unworthy, therefore excusing him from any future housework. Which is only partly true.
Okay, now I’m going to go lay on the couch. With ginger ale, soup, & marshmellows.
