Let’s revist cervical mucus, which is a topic we haven’t discussed in about two months.
::side note pregnancy distraction — my coworkers soup smells like dog food heated in the microwave. OH GAG::
Back to CM. I’m not spotting (I don’t think). But my CM definitely has a tint to it. Like yellow/tan/teensy hint of peach. But it’s definitely CM, not blood spotting. CM consistancy & the regular CM amount.
**Update! My cervical mucus is normal. I know you were all holding your breath.**
My bloat, my bloat, my lovely salt/biscuits/hamburgers/M&Ms/icecream/ihavetopee bloat!
SUCCESS!!!!!
::smugly buttons pants while standing:: Granted, I have to unbutton them to sit down. But this is MUCH better.
Nor will they stay zipped, which means the entire office has seen my silky undies today (not really, I pulled on a long trench blazer & have kept it buttoned over the crotch area). I have maternity pants that are fantastic, but I do not want to give into them yet. Foolishness? Perhaps. But this is not a baby bump. It’s bloat. Bloat does not deserve maternity pants. Lots & lots of bloat, stemming from going one week without a decent poop.
POOP.
Yes, I said it. The stuff that comes out of everyone’s bum & the bane of every pregnant woman’s existence. I’ve talked about ass-clapping & cervical mucus, so I should not be ashamed to talk about poop. Even though I am terrified of pooping in a public restroom. In my first few weeks of pregnancy (weeks 5-7), I was massively constipated. I chugged Metamucil & Kals’ Shit Cocktail (hot water & one lemon wedge) every day. Week 7 brought on perfect daily poops. Week 8 is back to the constipation. So I broke down & am sipping some dreadful office coffee, chugging water, all in the hopes of taking a massive poo today so I can BUTTON MY DAMN PANTS before going to an industry-wide reception this afternoon without looking ridiculous.
I’m starting to re-think my stand on maternity pants, though. Maybe I should just give in. But it’s like…once you go mat, you never go back. & I always take advantage of big clothes — look, my 14′s are big on me! I can totally have another cheeseburger! I do not want to fall victim of thinking my maternity pants are large & therefore deserving of a plate of french fries when I’ll need that room for an actual baby in a few months.
Mmkay, I’m off for a brisk walk through the halls with my coffee. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Dear Harpie,
You are 8 weeks old today, and I apologize that this letter is out one day late. OH GOD, your mother is already procrastinating…Lord knows how I will finish your nursery in the next 7 months, or figure out birth announcements once you get here…but we’ll talk about that later, mmkay?
Where was I?? Oh yes, 8 weeks. Welcome to raspberry land, which is the where you are now. A sweet little raspberry that looks pretty weird on an ultrasound. I think you’re gorgeous, but you’ve got a face that only a mother could love at this moment. Momma has been very tired this week, and you finally made her puke up dinner. It probably won’t be the last time I want to vomit over something you do, but I wish it wasn’t the delicious chocolate chip cookies your cousin made. I ate about 20 of them, and I guess you didn’t appreciate the gross intake of calories & sugar. But Harpie, you make Momma SO HUNGRY. You love breaded chicken & anything fried, and eggs have stayed a pretty consist ant favorite.
But the vomiting, insatiable hunger, & exhaustion is so worth it, which was proved this week when we finally saw you on the ultrasound. Hope you didn’t mind the dildo-cam paparazzi shoved up into your face, but Momma was so anxious to see you & your sweet flickering heart. I thought Daddy might cry or pass out, but he kept it together & sat with his jaw open, holding Momma’s hand. It was such a precious moment, like an answer to a life-long prayer.
And you should know that Momma took one for the team & got the HIV testing via 8 vials of blood so that you wouldn’t have to in the hospital. You’re welcome.
On a serious, motherly note: Harpie, there are so many lessons in family that I want to teach you now, so that you are prepared when you arrive. But unfortunately, these are things that we learn as we go. People change, relationships change, & that is okay. Family is messy, but at the end of the day, what we have is each other. You will always have your Daddy & me, & I hope you always know your grandparents & your aunts & uncles who love you so. I don’t have many upstanding characteristics (which I’m sure you’ll be more than happy to point that out to me in roughly 17 years), but I do hope that you have my unwavering loyalty & fierce devotion to family. I am sure that your family will let you down at many points in your life, but remember that we are human & we will all make mistakes. Judgement is not our role in this life. Remember to be patient, kind, & loving with family. May your never let your heart grow hard & may you always, always forgive the way Jesus asks you to.
I love you, Harpie. You are precious to me, even if you make me pee 3 times in the night.
Love,
Momma
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